Is it wrong?

I just don't understand where all of this jelousy is coming from! I mean common! He doesn't like me bring on a coed softball team? He is making be feel so isolated. I just don't get the difference between having guys as friends and girls as friends. We all hang out the same way regardless. There is no flirting, there is no hiding anything, it's just more fun when we all mingle together. I just feel like he's trying to cut me off from my friends and they were all there for me when he was not so it's like he's taking away my support system...

It seems pretty apparent that you want out. But no one on a message board hearing only your side of the story can possibly help you deal with this properly... Your issues in your marriage are obviously much deeper than this.

exactly! Seems like you are looking for everyone here to agree with you, but how can we agree with you when we have no idea what is going on in your hubby's mind?

haha, this is such a hot topic. I don't mind if a girl i am dating has male friends as long as she invites me to hang out now and then. I only have a handfull of female friends that i go get lunch or happy hour with from time to time. It does bother me when girls insist on hanging out with their exes. That, at least to me, is a no go. Especially when they drunk text or call at late hours. no one calls someone at 3am to chat. I don't hang with mine, so i think it is only fair she has the same respect. I would also never try to change someone. If she does things i don't like, i would rather end it than change someone. I have had girls try to change me and i end up resenting them in the end. Their have also been women who have said they would change things, but I don't want to be "that guy."

The fact he is upset about a co-ed softball team just screams insecurities. The only time i have been jealous is when i am being unfaithful. Projecting my own wrong doings onto her. Obviously unfair and something i did when i was younger and stupid. I don't care if she hangs with men all day as long as she puts me ahead of her male friends.

I have never been married or even close, so i guess my opinion is invalid. just my two sense.

I have male friends, but my male friends are also friends with my husband, and my girls friends are his friends. I don't think I'd be comfortable with single women that I wasn't friends with, I trust him, I don't trust other women. He wouldn't be comfortable with me chilling with single guys and I understand that because I've had single guy friends and they always had other intentions.

I agree with this wholeheartedly...

I once had to remind an unattached woman that the man he is trying to sit on his lap had a wedding ring on and that it matched mine... She wasnt listening to my husband when he said "hell no lady"..... you betcha she listened to me!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Maybe the counselor isn't saying across-the-board, as "the right thing", people cannot be in a healthy marriage and have friendships with the opposite sex. Maybe the counselor is saying in YOUR marriage, IF you want it to work (for now, at least), you cannot have friends of the opposite sex. And, as others have said, it seems you prioritize having the friends over having your marriage. There must be reason for that and I assume that's why you guys are in counseling. What are the friends providing for you that he is not? What are they providing that a female friend cannot? Maybe he needs to give you more attention, be more outgoing, get personal counseling for his insecurity. Being with an insecure husband can be really hard but, if you love him, you'll put the guy friends aside and talk to him tenderly about how you feel his insecurity is damaging the foundation of what you have.

In my opinion, too often, we think the grass is greener on the other side when our marriage hasn't been tended to in a while. It's a two-part deal though. Consider not giving up, because right around the corner is another man with a whole new set of issues for you.

I can't believe this thread is still going...

Wow this thread is still going?!?!?!??!?!?

Both parties are a mess and NEED therapy.

Six years? How long has this been a problem?

If it's a recent problem, maybe he senses something, or he has his own issues to deal with.

When you get married, you absolutely need to put your spouse first, above and beyond your friends. That's what the marriage commitment means.

The friends issue, there's no one answer. Some spouses are uncomfortable with their husband or wife having friends of the opposite sex, some are not. It's an important issue - if my wife was not comfortable with a good portion of my friends being female, she would not be my wife. But that's a two way street - some of her best friends are male. Which is 100% okay with me. But this won't work for everyone, so people need to talk, and sometimes compromise...

It started earlier this month, the same time he started going to Houston for his gun shows.

Where is the smiley of a guy waving a GIGANTIC RED FLAG

you made me giggle ...

Wow this thread is still going?!?!?!??!?!?

Both parties are a mess and NEED therapy.

Agreed! And I can't believe how many people are piling on the husband and saying how bad he is and the therapist when they aren't here to give their side. Remember people there are always 2 sides to a story and in this case 3!

My fiance has the same issue with one of my guy friends. He asked me to happy hour after work one day, and so my fiance refused to pick up our son from daycare saying that I didn't need to go. At first I was angry that he was allowed to go out with his friends, but after we had talked about it, I saw that he genuinely does not trust this specific person alone with me, especially when drinking is involved. Whether or not he has a valid reason not to trust him or me, is beside the point. I saw that it really would be something that he would be bothered by, so I don't do it. His feelings are more important to me than happy hour with a friend. This doesn't mean I am not allowed to talk to him, just not go hang out with him without my fiance.

Refusing to pick up your son from daycare because he is "bothered" is seriously messed up. He may or may not have had a legitimate gripe. You may or may not have been wrong to go out with this friend. His feelings should be important to you -- but apparently his feelings are more important to him than the safety of you son, and that should say something to you.

Our son wasn't in any danger at all...he was at daycare, and I usually pick him up from daycare, so I called my fiance to arrange for him to pick him up instead, while I went to happy hour. This is where our conversation about this issue started. My son was never in any danger, because trust me, if it came down to it, my son will always be the most important!

It sounds like you made your decision. Hanging out with single male friends takes precedence over your husband's desire for you not to do so.

No wonder you folks are in counseling....lol Listen to the therapist. Why do you need a bunch of second opinions for free when you've paid top dollar for professional advice?

Anyway, I don't have girl friends that I go hang out with, and neither does my wife have guy friends.
It's just not appropriate.
We've been married 28 years, and you must decide what you want.
Good luck with everything.

Max.... Great relationship advice! Mutural respect for the marriage partner is paramount & always preceeds any other relationships, period! In all reality, lets be honest, given the opportunity to be tempted & cheat, it will most likely happen eventually. So, out of respect for your spouse neither person should spend time alone with persons of the opposite sex. It really is that simple. Best Wishes!!!