What I've learned from the MFP forums

That you need to eat clean and cleanse your body to lose weight
That eating breakfast is important
That meal timing is irrelevant to weight loss
That you should drink a lot of water
That drinking water is irrelevant to weight loss
That eating red meat is bad because it's high in saturated fat and cholesterol
That eating red meat is perfectly healthy
That eating more is the answer to every weight loss problem
That if you want to lose weight, you better start lifting weights
That if you're really bored you should start a stupid thread to troll someone into a serious response
That if you don't like the jokes you have the choice not to look
That some people take life too seriously, especially when they're being made fun of
That people don't want to hear things they disagree with
That women aren't fat, they're curvy
That men are the scum of the Earth and are only here to make their wives miserable
That there are a lot of people here who seem to have never moved on from the 5th grade

Pooping is a good way to lose weight.

lol..eeeuuuww

Carbs are the devil
Low carb diets are the devil

Lifting heavy will make women bulky
Lifting heavy will NOT make women bulky

Muscle weighs more than fat
Muscle does NOT weigh more than fat

Vegetable calories don''t count
Vegetables have calories just like every other food

30 Day Shred will make you "toned"
There is no such thing as "toning exercises"

Gee... I wonder why people are so confused?

Yep

That any food made in a crockpot (no matter the amount of sodium in it because of the Campbell's soup used) is a Bump.

Any cake mix with diet soda in it is a Bump.

Anything with coolwhip, stevia or splenda in it is a Bump.

This is a direct quote, found on the forum today. :laugh:

Well, it has been explained to me, by a doctor, that belly fat comes from carbs and butt fat comes from fat. To lose the belly fat, you decrease your carbohydrates and eat more lean protein, to lose the butt fat, you eat "good" carbs and cut back fat,.

I know for a fact that this was an episode of Dr Oz....and we all know that Dr Oz knows all!

What else have I learned?
Alli causes oily anal leakage

You should take supplements
Supplements are useless

You can lose weight by eating 500 calories a day, but only if you use magic drops/injections (It must be because of the drops, right?)
There is no such thing as toning

Some people go into certain forums just to find someone to report

That there are a lot of people here who seem to have never moved on from the 5th grade

Where/when did you learn this? Was it a specific thread that I missed?

That we have some professional comedians in our midst, and if someone makes a joke that is not up to their standard, they will let you know, as is their duty and obligation.

Not some. One. And I never mention how you are all so painfully unfunny to me I silently weep to myself. I think that would be rude!

You have to eat back your *kitten* calories or you will plateau...

THIS

These posts are tooooooooooo funny! Thats what I learned:laugh:

That we have some professional comedians in our midst, and if someone makes a joke that is not up to their standard, they will let you know, as is their duty and obligation.

Not some. One. And I never mention how you are all so painfully unfunny to me I silently weep to myself. I think that would be rude!

Brett, you stole all your material from Krusty The Clown so your opinion is invalid!!!

This is a direct quote, found on the forum today. :laugh:

Well, it has been explained to me, by a doctor, that belly fat comes from carbs and butt fat comes from fat. To lose the belly fat, you decrease your carbohydrates and eat more lean protein, to lose the butt fat, you eat "good" carbs and cut back fat,.

:huh:

sex burns as much caloreis as mowing the lawn (however never got answered if they used a push mower or one you ride..)

What if you have sex WHILE you're mowing the lawn?

: on the floor :

The reason people think Batman isn't a superhero is because they're looking at his physical capabilities. When it comes to his mental capabilities and his ability to outwit the most dangerous of foes, he's better than a superhero. He's the superhero.

That most people on here are talking out of their *kitten*. No joke.

Lean in close, I have to tell you something.