husbands...

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Replies

  • Cindy311
    Cindy311 Posts: 780 Member
    I'm married to a man that when I ask his opinion he is truthful. I respect him much more for telling me what he thinks than trying to appease me to no end. Don't take your frustrations out on your husband, it's not worth it! If you don't like what he does (or doesn't) say then don't ask and then no one gets hurt or pissed in the end.
  • katmix
    katmix Posts: 296 Member
    So, I guess all of you were in the room with her when her "knight in shining armor" said the most supportive thing holding roses and looking at her longingly?!? Give me a freaking break! None of you were there. You don't know what HIS tone was, how he looked at her, how his body language was towards her. You assume she interpreted her own husband who SHE lives with wrong. You ASSUME he was being supportive. Obviously she didn't feel that way and came here, where she should come, to get support.

    Respectfully, just as you are accusing others of making assumptions - you are doing the same thing. BTW, coming on a forum to get support is different than airing one's personal grievances. This is not dial-a-therapist... :ohwell:
  • melrose09
    melrose09 Posts: 271
    Mine usually just asks when was the last time I took a dump. I :heart: him muchly.

    HAHAHAHA!! love this!

    HEHEHE....Your husband sounds like a hoot!
  • Lyndi4
    Lyndi4 Posts: 442 Member
    This morning was my weigh in day. I didn't lose anything .. which pissed me off. So when I told my husband it. All he said was stop thinking about it so much. And it will happen!
    Boy that's not what I wanted to hear....

    I thought that was a pretty good answer. I don't know how frequently you talk about your weight with him, but if it is often, then it can be hard to think of something new to say. Did he have a tone or something? I guess he could have said something to validate your feelings a little bit, or he could have added that he thinks you look great, or acknowledge all of your hard work. Maybe that would have made you feel more supported, but if you really do try to relax and not think about it so much it WILL happen, as long as you keep doing the work. I know it's hard, though. I have been busting my booty all week & I didn't see much of a difference on the scale this morning either. Just keep at it and try to stay positive, at least that's my plan. :smile:
  • ishallnotwant
    ishallnotwant Posts: 1,210 Member
    So, I guess all of you were in the room with her when her "knight in shining armor" said the most supportive thing holding roses and looking at her longingly?!? Give me a freaking break! None of you were there. You don't know what HIS tone was, how he looked at her, how his body language was towards her. You assume she interpreted her own husband who SHE lives with wrong. You ASSUME he was being supportive. Obviously she didn't feel that way and came here, where she should come, to get support.

    You are right...... shall we go lynch him now :laugh:

    Hold on, lemme get my pitchfork! :laugh:
  • Faye_Anderson
    Faye_Anderson Posts: 1,495 Member
    So, I guess all of you were in the room with her when her "knight in shining armor" said the most supportive thing holding roses and looking at her longingly?!? Give me a freaking break! None of you were there. You don't know what HIS tone was, how he looked at her, how his body language was towards her. You assume she interpreted her own husband who SHE lives with wrong. You ASSUME he was being supportive. Obviously she didn't feel that way and came here, where she should come, to get support.

    You are right...... shall we go lynch him now :laugh:

    Hold on, lemme get my pitchfork! :laugh:

    Woohoo! Party time
  • Melissaol
    Melissaol Posts: 948 Member
    He's not a monster! I just took him the wrong way. I was already upset about not lossing and his comments didn't help. He is the best guy ever.
    Im not bashing him.or men. He keeps telling me just remember how far I have come...
  • Mommawarrior
    Mommawarrior Posts: 897 Member
    There are so many funny responses here. I can't stop laughing. I think my favorite would be the one with Dr. House on it.
    Seriously, woman, how would you feel if your husband went around complaining about your part of a conversation on the internet?
    Most guys are in a lose/lose situation when it comes to their wives and weight, give him a break.
  • ishallnotwant
    ishallnotwant Posts: 1,210 Member
    sometimes men are too careful. 35 years ago, i divorced a man that for 7 years when asked "where do you want to go for dinner?" or "which movie do you want to go see?" or "what do you want for dinner?" and any other "choice" question the answer was "whatever you want". GRRRRRRRRR!! it made me insane

    all i wanted was NOT to make ALL the decisions ALL of the time. just tell me what you want for dinner.. just once

    You divorced someone for being considerate? That deserves singledom

    yes it does and have been happily single for 35 years... marriage isn't for everyone and don't assume because someone is single life must be terrible for them. some people just need a free rein :smile:

    smh
  • BrettPGH
    BrettPGH Posts: 4,716 Member
    He's not a monster! I just took him the wrong way. I was already upset about not lossing and his comments didn't help. He is the best guy ever.
    Im not bashing him.or men. He keeps telling me just remember how far I have come...

    I hope when you get home this evening you and the hubs can put it all behind you and have a real nice time together!
  • cabaray
    cabaray Posts: 971 Member
    He's not a monster! I just took him the wrong way. I was already upset about not lossing and his comments didn't help. He is the best guy ever.
    Im not bashing him.or men. He keeps telling me just remember how far I have come...
    I do have to give you credit...you are taking some harsh criticism very well!
  • Faye_Anderson
    Faye_Anderson Posts: 1,495 Member
    He's not a monster! I just took him the wrong way. I was already upset about not lossing and his comments didn't help. He is the best guy ever.
    Im not bashing him.or men. He keeps telling me just remember how far I have come...

    Pretty much begs the question, so what was the point of your original post???? :huh:
  • cramernh
    cramernh Posts: 3,335 Member
    He's not a monster! I just took him the wrong way. I was already upset about not lossing and his comments didn't help. He is the best guy ever.
    Im not bashing him.or men. He keeps telling me just remember how far I have come...

    Unfortunately you didnt include this in your original post and therefore, your original post pegged you for someone highly insensitive and incapable of seeing that your husband was in fact very supportive....
  • Melissaol
    Melissaol Posts: 948 Member
    We already had lunch together and everything is fine. I told him that I took what he said the wrong way.
  • Jovialation
    Jovialation Posts: 7,632 Member
    He's not a monster! I just took him the wrong way. I was already upset about not lossing and his comments didn't help. He is the best guy ever.
    Im not bashing him.or men. He keeps telling me just remember how far I have come...

    I hope when you get home this evening you and the hubs can put it all behind you and have a real nice time together!
    this
  • PrincessLou71186
    PrincessLou71186 Posts: 741 Member
    Seriously, woman, how would you feel if your husband went around complaining about your part of a conversation on the internet?
    Most guys are in a lose/lose situation when it comes to their wives and weight, give him a break.

    Completely agree.
  • Faye_Anderson
    Faye_Anderson Posts: 1,495 Member
    Keep back pedalling, the scales may reflect it next week :laugh:
  • pirateDeb
    pirateDeb Posts: 26 Member
    Keep back pedalling, the scales may reflect it next week :laugh:

    wish there was a like button
  • Faye_Anderson
    Faye_Anderson Posts: 1,495 Member
    Keep back pedalling, the scales may reflect it next week :laugh:

    wish there was a like button

    Awww thanks, and most people just think I'm EVIL :tongue:
  • pirateDeb
    pirateDeb Posts: 26 Member
    Keep back pedalling, the scales may reflect it next week :laugh:

    wish there was a like button

    Awww thanks, and most people just think I'm EVIL :tongue:

    BAH! Callous remarks and heavy sarcasm make not an evil person, Just a tough skinned person that is difficult to one up :)
  • hillarygullett
    hillarygullett Posts: 7
    GEEEZZZZ. you people really know how to make a mountain of a mole hill! Never said a bad word about the guy. Don't think he's a monster, cause Just like you: DON'T KNOW HIM!!!! That was my only point. You don't know him. You weren't there for the conversation. All we knew from original post was she was upset.

    To OP: I know you love your husband, as I do mine! He doesn't always say the best thing, but he always tries! I'm glad you talked it out with him. Best wishes to you both. :flowerforyou:
  • turningstar
    turningstar Posts: 393 Member
    I cannot believe there are 8 pages on this topic.

    And I can't believe im responding to the forums AGAIN.
  • MassiveDelta
    MassiveDelta Posts: 3,271 Member
    I cannot believe there are 8 pages on this topic.

    And I can't believe im responding to the forums AGAIN.

    You clearly need an intervention. Has your husband told you what a horrible person you are for being on the forums again? If not he should.
  • klb620
    klb620 Posts: 28 Member
    WOWZA!!!!!!!

    I'm thinking that I should stick with just the tools on this site and NOT try to find support/advice from such a judgemental group!

    I don't have ANYBODY in real life to talk to about my weightloss journey, or even vent about my frustrations that come aalong with it. I guess this isn't the place either!

    When I posted that my husband frustrates me sometimes, I said it with a smile on my face, even added an 'LOL' in there, I was not bashing!!!

    I didn't realize that there were people out there (maybe stepford wifes??? ;-) ) that have perfect marriages and never get frustrated with their husband.
  • slk1954
    slk1954 Posts: 8
    Well, I think it's best not to talk to the men about our weight loss because they never say what we want to hear. They don't have a clue what we want to hear. They are mostly consumed in their own little world of turmoil and woes. However, as long as they are not putting you down, or making you feel worse about yourself, or purposely sabotaging your efforts, really who cares what they have to say about our weight loss. It's our journey to walk. We love them but, ladies, we want them to notice when we've reached our goals and look like a "bomb" in that new little red dress. Then if they don't say what we want to hear they are foolish, foolish, foolish. I live with a runner, he has 2% body fat, runs 8-10 miles a day and knows the importance of being physically fit in order to enjoy life to it's fullest. I just want to show him that I can be right there with him. I may never run with him, because I just don't like running, but I know I can look and feel as good as he does, and I enjoy the fact that my weight loss is sneaking up on him. One day he'll do a double-take and wonder just when in the hell it happened. I'll just smile and have no response just as he's had none during my weight-loss journey.
  • hillarygullett
    hillarygullett Posts: 7
    WOWZA!!!!!!!

    I'm thinking that I should stick with just the tools on this site and NOT try to find support/advice from such a judgemental group!

    I don't have ANYBODY in real life to talk to about my weightloss journey, or even vent about my frustrations that come aalong with it. I guess this isn't the place either!

    When I posted that my husband frustrates me sometimes, I said it with a smile on my face, even added an 'LOL' in there, I was not bashing!!!

    I didn't realize that there were people out there (maybe stepford wifes??? ;-) ) that have perfect marriages and never get frustrated with their husband.

    Thank you!!!
  • liroez29
    liroez29 Posts: 221
    I think this is a touchy subject for men, if they say your doing great, you think they are just saying what you want to hear, if they say don't worry about it we think they don't care, if they say work harder we think they are ashamed or not proud of us. Kind of a loose, loose for a man! Best thing he could probably say is you just do your best and that is all you can do, but even better is we just don't put them in that position! If I tell my husband what I have done workout wise, I usually just get a "nice" or "good job". If I say I didn't work out and I feel bad about it, he usually says something to the effect of "Your still doing great, just work out tomorrow" he usually doesn't stray from these responses anymore! lol
  • slk1954
    slk1954 Posts: 8
    @ klb620 - Honey, don't worry about what those negative ninnies have to say, there are folks out here listening to you. I just wrote a long post that you might enjoy. Keep up your journey and know that you're not alone in your walk. There are more husbands out there not listening than there are those who are. We know that about men by now. Do it for yourself and don't worry about the lack of input. He'll notice later, believe me, he'll notice. :wink:
  • jazzalea
    jazzalea Posts: 412 Member
    WOWZA!!!!!!!

    I'm thinking that I should stick with just the tools on this site and NOT try to find support/advice from such a judgemental group!

    I don't have ANYBODY in real life to talk to about my weightloss journey, or even vent about my frustrations that come aalong with it. I guess this isn't the place either!

    When I posted that my husband frustrates me sometimes, I said it with a smile on my face, even added an 'LOL' in there, I was not bashing!!!

    I didn't realize that there were people out there (maybe stepford wifes??? ;-) ) that have perfect marriages and never get frustrated with their husband.


    You said yourself that you were seeking support AND advice..... when you didn't hear what you wanted from your partner who knows you and loves you....... you turned to us and we who have BEEN THERE told you to listen to your husband.........



    To hear advice you need to be willing to listen:wink:

    P.S. I had the partner from hell until I learned to listen to what he was saying rather than on insist he learn what I WANTED him to say....
  • klb620
    klb620 Posts: 28 Member
    Actually, I said I wanted to vent to my husband, I was not nor do I ever ask his advice, i KNOW HIM WELL ENOUGH TO KNOW THAT IT WILL GET UNDER MY SKIN....... so I turn to women who are like me, and have the same issues as me.....but whatever.
    WOWZA!!!!!!!

    I'm thinking that I should stick with just the tools on this site and NOT try to find support/advice from such a judgemental group!

    I don't have ANYBODY in real life to talk to about my weightloss journey, or even vent about my frustrations that come aalong with it. I guess this isn't the place either!

    When I posted that my husband frustrates me sometimes, I said it with a smile on my face, even added an 'LOL' in there, I was not bashing!!!

    I didn't realize that there were people out there (maybe stepford wifes??? ;-) ) that have perfect marriages and never get frustrated with their husband.


    You said yourself that you were seeking support AND advice..... when you didn't hear what you wanted from your partner who knows you and loves you....... you turned to us and we who have BEEN THERE told you to listen to your husband.........



    To hear advice you need to be willing to listen:wink:
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