I think my husband is trying to keep me fat.....

I'm sure he probably is trying to keep you fat. I've had a couple of boyfriends who did this, with one being particularly bad about it. It's a self esteem and security issue on his end. He's afraid if you lose weight guys will start flirting with you more and will give him competition, or that you may leave him for someone else once you're thin. You're going to have to address what the real issue is with him; just be ready for him to deny everything. He likely won't want to admit that it's based on his own insecurity. Be strong and don't give in to the temptations. Put your foot down and tell him how it's going to be!

^^^^THIS^^^^ My ex-husband use to do that all the time! Many years ago I lost over 100 pounds (since put most of it back on) and he told me that I had about as much sex appeal as the telephone pole across the street. He did seem to only look at women who were significantly overweight. After we divorced his next two girlfriends, and his next wife were all far larger than me.

I really think that he had a very low self esteem issue and needed to feel that no one else would want to look at me. Do whatever you have to do to keep on track...you are doing this for you and your health...he will either get on board or not. Try dumping some of that crap he is bringing home in the garbage so that he gets the message.

And FYI, my boyfriend also said that if I get too thin he's going to leave me because he prefers me with "extra meat." *sigh* I told him I'd probably burn a lot of calories helping him move his stuff out.

A few things:

1. Compromise: I've had to compromise a bit with my husband and dear daughter (she is 12). There is a list of food that we avoid bringing in the house (for example, I can pass up potato chips UNLESS it is Cool Ranch Doritos). If they do bring it in the house I don't know about it.

2. I don't know if your husband is overweight or not, but even if he is thin he can't be healthy eating all of this stuff. Maybe you could encourage him to eat better, but make some allowances. For example, maybe healthy stuff and then Friday night is pizza night and on Saturday night there is dessert after dinner.

3. Your husband could very well feel self-conscious or guilty about what he is eating. Maybe he feels bad eating junk along, but not with you. Or maybe he is worried that you won't want him anymore. My husband actually asked if I was going to find a "hot, rich man" when I lost all the weight. He said it in half-jest.

4. But when it comes down to it... alas... it is your problem to deal with. There will always be fatty huge portions of food. At restaurants, family gatherings, breakroom tables, etc.... You control your fork and as much as that sucks it is the truth. We can only change ourselves.

Sorry he's not being more supportive. It really is hard to do when you and your SO aren't on the same page. I've gotten really good at completely ignoring mine in the food department.

I don't think your hubby is trying to keep you fat...I know he is! I have the same problem with my mate. He is very small frame but I have gained a lot of weight since being with him. I can pretty much eat healthy foods but he likes to force me to eat the junk he likes such as candy bars, cereal and ice cream all times of the night and heavy fried foods. I commend you for having the will power not to give up even when temptation is not just knocking but slapping you in the face. Base on my experience with this, it is definitely a bug of insecurity biting.

sounds like my wife she claims its so the kids have something for snacks well get fruit right..i have lost close to 50lbs in less than a year and im less noticed now than a year ago. sure im doing this for me and to have more energy for the kids but still would be nice to get some help with my new lifestyle

i do really well planning my sack lunches for work. my husband will "surprise" me with lunch on occasion. although he thinks he's being nice, he brings all the wrong foods... and he knows this. he won't go for healthy choices either. he brings really bad, sinfully delicious things. i've been eating healthier for over a year now and he still doesn't get it. it's frustrating. he knows i won't waste food and that i'll most likely eat whatever he brings. problem is, i resent him for the way i feel the rest of the day which is fat and weak. i don't think your man will change. he probably wants the old you. good luck...

Mine doesnt try to saboage me, but wasnt super supportive at first. Meaning, he wanted all his snacks and bad foods still and kept saying he wasnt the one on a diet.

Now Ive inspired him to work out, count cals and get healthy. I started to refuse to buy a lot of packaged meals or snacks, cooking only healthy meals and got workouts for PS3 we could do together and have fun.. It is so much more fun to do it together.

Can you start walking together after dinner and cooking together? Make it more of something you can do together so he feels part of the process?

He is not on a diet. You are. Just because you are ready, doesn't mean he is.

Just a thought.

This could be part of the problem, too.

I talk to a lot of women who are on pretty extreme diets (not allowing any type of processed snacks, sugary snacks in the house) and I don't think it's fair to the spouse (if they enjoy those things and are not also on a diet).

That being said, I'm not saying we should all keep crappy food and snacks available - but there are some snacks my husband just LOVES and although I won't eat them (because of will power, not because of lack of desire, LOL!) I can't forbid him to purchase them! He needs to enjoy food too, and unlike me, he doesn't have a weight problem.

I just think some people go waaay overboard in not allowing foods that perhaps their spouses enjoy too - and it's not fair to say if they loved you, they'd stop - because if you loved them, you should let them enjoy some naughty treats too

Not saying that this is exactly the case with you, but it sounds to me like it might be part of it.

i can really sympathise but at least he is not going and preparing unhealthy stuff for you then bringing it to you which is what my partner did for 3 years. i didn't want to be ungrateful and not eat what he brought me.

you are doing so well, keep it up. i think he may be a bit scared incase you look elsewhere once you are 'hot'. my partner has asked who i am losing weight for - obv for me.

either have it out with him or try to ignore all the stuff that hes bringing home - he will eventually get the picture and it will get better.

Don't eat the junk he brings home. Remember how hard you are working and don't give in. It's probably an insecurity of some sort. He may not admit it even if confronted. Just stay strong and know you have plenty of support here. I believe in you!

I have kids and husband AND they all eat different things. I feed the kiddos mostly unprocessed so I make cookies creackers etc. They are not overweight and since they need snacks and treats I rather know whats in it. I have calculated the calories of the whole wheat chocolate chip cookies and choose not to waste my calories. My husband loves spaghetti again I make it with lean beef and sometimes use some beef but I choose not to eat the pasta as I can find other things I would rather eat. I can not expect everyone to be on track and yes sometimes it is hard but that is life and I want to loose weight NO ONE said it would be easy. Although my hubby is not unsupportive I get way more from MFP than at home.