I think my husband is trying to keep me fat.....

Options
1…34689…13

Replies

  • aniwani
    aniwani Posts: 110
    Options
    Omg I totally sympathize my bf is a body builder and bulking right now ... its non stop pasta, pizza, bread, meat, ice cream, you name it ... hes eating it across from me while I much my little plate of turkey and veggies or my salad... I just keep reminding myself of the sweet revenge coming his way... AKA other guys checking out his skinny gf! BURN =)
  • pamelad77
    pamelad77 Posts: 292 Member
    Options
    I'm sure he probably is trying to keep you fat. I've had a couple of boyfriends who did this, with one being particularly bad about it. It's a self esteem and security issue on his end. He's afraid if you lose weight guys will start flirting with you more and will give him competition, or that you may leave him for someone else once you're thin. You're going to have to address what the real issue is with him; just be ready for him to deny everything. He likely won't want to admit that it's based on his own insecurity. Be strong and don't give in to the temptations. Put your foot down and tell him how it's going to be!

    ^^^^ this!
  • brittanyla077
    brittanyla077 Posts: 79 Member
    Options
    My hubby was like that at first but I think it was more him thinking I wasn't serious but it's easy because I'm always home and he works 70hours a week. On his day off we always go out to eat thou but now he's understanding and not" an off day won't kill you" and he's also buying me some work out videos we keep a lot of junk on the house mostly thanks to parents and gtandparnts LOL but I just ha e a third or half a serving...
  • Shock_Wave
    Shock_Wave Posts: 1,573 Member
    Options
    Omg I totally sympathize my bf is a body builder and bulking right now ... its non stop pasta, pizza, bread, meat, ice cream, you name it ... hes eating it across from me while I much my little plate of turkey and veggies or my salad... I just keep reminding myself of the sweet revenge coming his way... AKA other guys checking out his skinny gf! BURN =)

    OMG what heck is wrong with you? He is bulking so he can grow more lean muscle mass because he is a body builder and he is going to undoubtedly even gain some extra bf fat and that part sucks. It doesnt sound like he is purposely eating all that food to spite you and your diet in some way. Then you are going to take it as such and take it out on him and try and "BURN" him? Dayymmm your are real piece of work. :thumbs down:
    simonthunbsdown.jpg
  • happyhiram
    happyhiram Posts: 89
    Options
    Omg I totally sympathize my bf is a body builder and bulking right now ... its non stop pasta, pizza, bread, meat, ice cream, you name it ... hes eating it across from me while I much my little plate of turkey and veggies or my salad... I just keep reminding myself of the sweet revenge coming his way... AKA other guys checking out his skinny gf! BURN =)

    OMG what heck is wrong with you? He is bulking so he can grow more lean muscle mass because he is a body builder and he is going to undoubtedly even gain some extra bf fat along with this and that part sucks. It doesnt sound like he is purposely eating all that food to spite you and your diet in some way. Then you are going to take it as such and take it out on him and try and "BURN" him? Dayymmm your are real piece of work. :thumbs down:
    simonthunbsdown.jpg

    This whole thread is worth it because of your replies, dude.

    I've been sitting here shaking my head at all of these ridiculous posts so it's a breath of fresh air, definitely.

    Apparently every man ever is trying to keep their SO heavy. Who would have thought?
  • HonkyTonks
    HonkyTonks Posts: 1,193 Member
    Options
    Because I have self control issues with some junk foods, I ask my partner to simply not eat them around me and keep them hidden if he does choose to purchase them. That is all I ask, but I don't tell him what to eat, nor does he tell me what to eat.
  • Shock_Wave
    Shock_Wave Posts: 1,573 Member
    Options
    Dont assume he is trying to keep you fat!! Assumptions are the mother of all **** ups. Simply discuss it with him.
  • Martucha123
    Martucha123 Posts: 1,093 Member
    Options
    He is not on a diet. You are. Just because you are ready, doesn't mean he is.

    Just a thought.

    this!

    did he use to buy/eat all that stuff before you were on a diet?
    if not then yes he is sabotagging you, but if yes, then damn it he has right to eat them because you are the one going on diet, not him.

    just right now my house is full of candies, chocolates, i have probably 10 bags of chips in the kitchen, nuts, burgers oh yes, and we had cake on valantines day that my s/o was eating for a week - i didn't but he requested it as a gift,

    just because you can't eat them, he shouldn't be punished.
  • GeneaCindy
    GeneaCindy Posts: 148 Member
    Options
    Friend me - I'm on everyday!

    Sorry the hubby is not being supportive. But this has to be about you and your choices. I know it is hard! One of the things I did was to bring in Skinny Cow ice cream sandwiches. I can actually eat them, and my family has started to eat them too. Now we don't buy ice cream or go to Dairy Queen.

    I found that logging on this site helped me make better choices. If I have a cookie, or Starbucks hot chocolate, those are calories I can't have in a meal. But the choice is up to me.

    As far as the "are you giving up" comment - I can kind of relate to that in a roundabout way. I was having a "bad" day. I weighed in and had lost only a pound and I was frustrated and complaining. I called my sister and she told me I was crazy, that I was on the right track and that she would have my back. She told me I was going a bit OCD about the whole thing (which was true). Soooo, I tell my husband this and he says, "you're not going to give up are you?" Now, his intention was to be supportive, but I heard this as, "OMG, you are not going back to being that fat *kitten* and not caring, are you?" Guess what, a couple of days my "monthly visitor" came. I was being totally crazy. Sometimes I find myself, even when it is not the TOM, being very sensitive to any comments about the weight loss. Maybe something to think about...and, then again, maybe your husband is just being insensitive.

    Good luck on your journey!
  • MarincicS
    MarincicS Posts: 265 Member
    Options
    A few things:

    1. Compromise: I've had to compromise a bit with my husband and dear daughter (she is 12). There is a list of food that we avoid bringing in the house (for example, I can pass up potato chips UNLESS it is Cool Ranch Doritos). If they do bring it in the house I don't know about it.

    2. I don't know if your husband is overweight or not, but even if he is thin he can't be healthy eating all of this stuff. Maybe you could encourage him to eat better, but make some allowances. For example, maybe healthy stuff and then Friday night is pizza night and on Saturday night there is dessert after dinner.

    3. Your husband could very well feel self-conscious or guilty about what he is eating. Maybe he feels bad eating junk along, but not with you. Or maybe he is worried that you won't want him anymore. My husband actually asked if I was going to find a "hot, rich man" when I lost all the weight. He said it in half-jest.

    4. But when it comes down to it... alas... it is your problem to deal with. There will always be fatty huge portions of food. At restaurants, family gatherings, breakroom tables, etc.... You control your fork and as much as that sucks it is the truth. We can only change ourselves.

    Yes!! Agreed.

    And one more thing to add, as silly as it sounds, until very recently, i actually thought a side of potato chips was a good addition to a sandwich meal! At nearly 50, it's a shock to me how little i know bout food. It is only in the last few weeks that i could even begin to estimate the calorie content of what you described. So it is quite possible he is just plain old clueless about the extend of damage he is doing. In any case, maybe get him to hide it if he has to bring it in the house and ask him to never never bring anything home expecting you to eat it.
  • charlotte66
    charlotte66 Posts: 248 Member
    Options
    my partner did this at first he was buying for me aswell but i just didnt eat it, now he still buys himself treats but only enough for him as i cant stop him from having what he wants its not fair also cant not buy little bags of treats for my daughter. im the one who decided to lose weight not anyone else in my house.
  • hazev74
    hazev74 Posts: 252 Member
    Options
    He is not on a diet. You are. Just because you are ready, doesn't mean he is.

    Just a thought.

    ^^^ totally agree. when i started losing weight again i stupidly told him not to bring any junk into the house and found out out he was hiding it in the car to support me! but then thats not fair on him! so i said its ok he can get what he wants. He works hard and he is a chef so he loves his food== he has started cooking healthier at home though.
    temptation will always be around us. Im learning that just because that cake is there i dont have to have a piece.
    in work there is always yummies around for someones birthday etc but its all about saying no at the end of the day..
  • annimarg
    annimarg Posts: 6
    Options
    I WILL SUPPORT YOU! GO YOU GOOD SEXY SKINNY FABULOUS GORGEOUS THING YOU! Its hard to stand up and say "no" to delicious food but YOU WILL SUCCEED!!

    keep being fabulous! xx
  • Mrsairforce
    Mrsairforce Posts: 130
    Options
    I skipped right to the reply. What he brings into the house to eat, let him eat. He is not sitting you down and forcing you to eat pizza, cookies, and cake. Its called willpower, so use it. My husband is a junk food fanatic. He eats a box of oreos in one sitting. Do I care? No not really. He busts his butt at work so he deserves it. He never pressures me to eat what he is. So if your husband wants to eat that stuff, so be it. Move on.
  • hazev74
    hazev74 Posts: 252 Member
    Options
    my partner did this at first he was buying for me aswell but i just didnt eat it, now he still buys himself treats but only enough for him as i cant stop him from having what he wants its not fair also cant not buy little bags of treats for my daughter. im the one who decided to lose weight not anyone else in my house.

    couldnt agree more.im not going to stop my partner and 2 kids having treats because im on a diet.
  • hazev74
    hazev74 Posts: 252 Member
    Options
    Omg I totally sympathize my bf is a body builder and bulking right now ... its non stop pasta, pizza, bread, meat, ice cream, you name it ... hes eating it across from me while I much my little plate of turkey and veggies or my salad... I just keep reminding myself of the sweet revenge coming his way... AKA other guys checking out his skinny gf! BURN =)

    OMG what heck is wrong with you? He is bulking so he can grow more lean muscle mass because he is a body builder and he is going to undoubtedly even gain some extra bf fat and that part sucks. It doesnt sound like he is purposely eating all that food to spite you and your diet in some way. Then you are going to take it as such and take it out on him and try and "BURN" him? Dayymmm your are real piece of work. :thumbs down:
    simonthunbsdown.jpg


    brilliant!
  • gettinggreater
    gettinggreater Posts: 2 Member
    Options
    My wife and mother both do things to keep me fat. Non of it conscious, consciously they are very supportive but then why do they keep asking me if I need anything from the grocery store, keep chocolate in the house or making me cake for valentines day?

    For me its very simple; with the weight loss my life will change radically, ergo my identity will change radically because I will be able to do things I've always wanted to do. That brings a threat to security in the relationship.

    Totally predictable, totally expected etc. For all they know "thin me" might be a real jerk. I think there's some responsibility on the person losing the weight to give reassurance to the partner they aren't going to run off with the first woman who bat her eye lids at them.
  • KathieSwenson
    KathieSwenson Posts: 179
    Options
    He is not on a diet. You are. Just because you are ready, doesn't mean he is.

    Just a thought.

    I agree with this! You have to remember that he's not on the diet and just because you can't have doesn't mean he has to deprive himself of it. My husband brings fattening food into the house as well. As long as you eat in moderation you will be okay. As far as the breadsticks he was thinking of you however he probably didn't realize the amount of calories in them. My husband underestimates calories a lot. I just gently tell him why I can't have that and then put them in the fridge for I'm to have. That keeps us both happy and until my wonderful 270 lb hubby decides he is on board it is p to me to make sue I eat what I'm supposed to. He does eat the healthy stuff I make as well.

    Good luck and try to see it from his side and te fact that he's not on this diet.
  • alimac92
    alimac92 Posts: 705 Member
    Options
    A lot of people use food and snacks as treats.
    I still have this mentality to reward with sweets and food. It's hard to change that mindset. I do think twice about it these days and buy non food items as gifts. Last week I bought them a pack of socks each lol!

    What you have to do is guide your husband into bringing you a different treat home. Something more healthy. You need to praise him for the things he does right. He will like that praise and look to do the right thing to make you happy.

    I know he is not a dog your are training but... It is a bit like that.
    There was a tv program on years ago where women where so angry with their husbands. Just for normal things like leaving cupboard doors and drawers open. They got the woman to lavish praise on their husbands when they shut the doors or cleaned up after. ( just an example)

    The difference to the atmosphere in those households was amazing.

    As the others say you don't have to eat the food. Stick it in the fridge and serve it to him next day lol.
    Home cooking is the best way forward, leave extra portions in the fridge. Plan your meals together, get him involved ask his advice. Get him to join you on your journey.

    If you don't go to the gym on the evening invite him to go for a walk with you. When you get so focused on your diet plan partners can feel left out. We can also get really boring going on about calories and nutrition.

    At this time of year my husband brings home Cadbury minis eggs from the service stations. He is a driver and works away, he sometimes brings home flowers. I think it's lovely. I put the chocoloates in the fridge and share them counting the calories for my portion.
    I put my flowers in a vase and look at them while my husband works away. He logs his food while he is away too.

    Sorry for rambling on, I'm like that ha ha!
    I log on everyday, today is my 365 day!

    Take care:flowerforyou:
  • leika79
    leika79 Posts: 114
    Options
    just because its in the house doesnt mean you got to eat it! i mean my boyfriend brings home all manner of rubbish food but i wouldn't dream of tucking in. unless of course i had some "spare" calories to use up and i might treat myself to a nibble
    A little of what you fancy does you good.....and stops you craving!

Categories