I think my husband is trying to keep me fat.....

(((HUGS)))

I understand the house full of tempting treats! My DH is underweight and has a hard time eating enough to maintain, let alone gain weight! :noway: He is also the cook around here and has a bit sweet tooth. Here's what I had to resort to: 1) told him after Xmas that I wanted him not to cook for me until my birthday (march 13) and I would take care of my own food. He skeptically agreed.
2. Ignore the eye rolls when I weigh & measure portions and read labels for serving size.
3. Accept that those are "his" 4 canisters of M&M's on the counter (I kid you not, 4 CANISTERS of all varieties of M&M's in my house ALL THE TIME! they sit next to the jelly beans but behind the 2 tins of gourmet Blegian chocolate cookies.) He needs to eat as much as he can, almost like medicine. I wouldn't take his medicine, would I? So I won't eat his food.
4. Pull up my Big Girl Panties and do what I know I need to do for myself, and quit whining about it.
5. Taped my mantra on the mirror: "I am my only obstacle, the rest is just excuses."

Other people have done this, you have empathy and help here--you can do it! Maybe your DH is worried you'll look so hot that you don't want him anymore. Maybe he feels guilty for not taking care of himself and embarrassed next to your level of commitment to heath. Maybe he missed the shared pleasures you shared over meals. Maybe you could ask him?

One of the things that I haven't seen on here, although I might have missed it. I did skip a few pages.

Anyway, it might be a lack of knowledge. My husband was always bringing home foods that weren't healthy for me. I started asking him to read the labels on the food before he bought it. He is still surprised even now at just how bad some of the food he loves is. He is fairly fit and bikes everywhere, so he can eat a lot more that I can. He never worried about how many calories or how much fat/carbs were in his food.

He has also admitted to some insecurities about me being too thin, but i have assured him that my goal weight is not so thin that I lose all my curves. I like having curves. But I did want to move out of the obese range. I want to be healthier and able to move around more. I also emphasized all the things that I can do better with less weight on my body.

I agree with a lot of people on here that you need to have a heart to heart with him. My family is still less than supportive, but they have learned to be less obstructive, And I still have to deal with pizza, cookies and chips in my house.

You can add me if you want. I am on here all the time.

Just keep doing what you have been doing. Dont eat it!! You cant make him change or control what he does, you can only control what you do. Hang in there, exercize, be awesome and it will all work out!!

I know a lot of women who have lost a ton of weight (via surgery) and then left their husbands/boyfriends. They start feeling good about themselves then they totally ditch their partner, so I understand the fear, kinda. Sounds like deep down, he doesn't want you to feel good about yourself, and that's a problem. Love means wanting your partner to be happy no matter what the cost is to you. Talk to him about it, it sounds like he has some real issues that he may need to get help for. Good luck and hang tough. I am impressed that you are able to avoid eating what he brings home, I don't think I could be that strong.

Perhaps these women are leaving their boyfriends/husbands because they change as a person themselves -- they're changing into insecure, negative and unsupportive boyfriends and I know if that was me I wouldn't want to stick around either. I'd much prefer the man I originally fell in love with who was confident, positive and supportive! If they know the reasons you're doing it for and you have a strong and loving bond, weight shouldn't be an issue.

I am very lucky to have my boyfriend who is fun, fit, healthy, supportive and positive! Yes it annoys him a little that everything in our apartment is low calorie or has a Weight Watchers logo on it, but he is really happy with my successes and is always encouraging me and giving me praise for my efforts! We have a lot of fun exercising together and training together too! I hope your partner comes around - have a chat to him about why you want to lose weight, let him know how much you love him and how that won't change and maybe encourage him to make some better choices too. There are soooo many plus sides to eating better quality food!

Sometimes you have to encourage yourself and find you're own will power, because people let people down all the time. You are doing good keep it up. I'll be adding you as a friend.

Is he unhealthy? From what you have posted...his diet seems very unhealthy! It could be that you reached your limit and obtained this desire to change your lifestyle when he hasn't. Perhaps he feels it will be lonely to do the things you used to do together...all alone, even if it was sharing a meal together. I think he sounds lonely and he is trying to pull you back in. Talk to him and tell him that just because you are changing your lifestyle it doesnt mean you are leaving him...just that you are leaving the junk behind!

As hard as it is, this is sometimes an INDIVIDUAL journey without the support we need. I'm going to be optimistic and say that your husband does not wnt to keep you overweight but rather he's focused on what he enjoys eating and not taking into consideration what's good for you. That being said, it takes a made up mind lady and inspite of the fact he brings in the bad, you must make sure that with all that bad stuff he's bringing, make sure your fridge/cabs are stocked with good foods for your journey. Best wishes to you--you can do it

I completely understand. Same situation here. What really helps is surrounding yourself with positive things such as success stories, active MFP friends (has helped me A LOT), follow fitness people on instagram, or watch "The Biggest Loser" or "Losing it with Jillian". When no one else is there to support you then you have to find other stuff that will even if unfortunately it isn't our significant other. BUILD your motivation and will.

He is not on a diet. You are. Just because you are ready, doesn't mean he is.

Just a thought.

So, it might be that he's trying to sabotage you...or it might just be this.

My husband is very lean and athletic naturally (so annoying). It's not really fair to him to demand that we keep a treat-less house and I feel terrible when he's gone to the trouble to prepare something that doesn't fit in with my calorie goals. My method is eat a small portion of whatever it is he's made, or have a single serving of a snack, then eat a salad or drink a big glass of water. I still get to eat tasty things, just in smaller portions. It's also good practice for life outside the house, where no one knows or cares that you're trying to lose weight.