Would you cheat?
Options
Replies
-
If I continuously told her she needed to lose weight and she did nothing about it? Is she won't change to keep my interest? Yeah...I am going to find someone else. You only live once.
If you really loved her you wouldn't want her to change anything....
Really!?! Wanting someone to be in better shape, to be healthier, to be with you for a longer, healthier more exciting life is wrong?!? Not to me.
I never said it was wrong. I just said if he really loved her he wouldn't want her to change anything. Besides, since when are relationships one-sided? If my husband asked me to lose weight (which he hasn't come out and done, although I know he wants me to) of course I would. But I'd expect him to try to keep the excitement in our marriage as well, and not make me be the one trying to keep it exciting.
You sound a bit naive to me from your feeling like your husband's porn habit is cheating to your thinking if you love someone you wouldn't want them to change anything. The reality is that plenty of men look at porn and its not cheating. And the second reality is that people don't love their spouse unconditionally. It takes effort from both partners. Being married isn't an excuse to stop taking care of one's self just because they are supposed to stick by them for better or worse. And the majority of people are lousy judges of character, and pick a spouse that ultimately isn't right for them anyways, which is why most marriages end in divorce.
That's incredibly judgmental. To each his own. If someone else is fine with their husband watching porn instead of having sex with them, fine. That's you. I personally have low self esteem, and was raised going to Church, so yeah. I think it's wrong for MY husband to watch porn instead of want me. Doesn't mean if you did it I would think it's wrong. And I personally think that if you really do love someone, their physical appearance should just be a bonus. If it's for health reasons, of course I would ask my husband to lose weight. But I wouldn't want him to change a thing about his appearance now.
Keep believing that what your husband does along with millions of faithful husbands is wrong just because your church says so.
Apparently by your logic physical appearance and love are mutually exclusive. Its either you love the person or you love their looks, right?
No, not at all. What the hell? This thread is not an excuse for people to attack me.0 -
Nope. He can be Bradley Cooper and i still wouldn't cheat. Looks aren't everything.0
-
but honestly thinking about that ... if i'm less attracted physically, the sex decreases and if he continued to not please me enough for me to want to get down, that part of the marriage is going to suffer. Once that suffers, other things suffer. and the marriage could very well break down.
two options - divorce or find it elsewhere.
if everything else in the marriage was honky dory except no sex, well, that would suck. and it could easily be held together if i just went elsewhere for sex. Not intamcy, sex.
Honestly, I don't think humans were even made to be monogamous, but this idea of marriage is making us stick to a rule that isn't in our nature. I think monogamy == intimacy is right on. But I actually do not see a problem with going elsewhere for sex. It would have to be agreed upon, as sneaking is sneaking, but argh. i think society norms have screwed this all up.
bottom line - if i got physically unappealing, i ~swear to god~ would hope he'd be comfortable going elsewhere for it.
So if you get pregnant you're screwed?
0 -
No I wouldn't cheat if my boyfriend gained a bunch of weight. After a certain point in a relationship it isn't physical things that keep you together anymore, it is your emotional attachment to them. If I made a list of things that keep our relationship going strong, sex wouldn't even be in the top 5.
ETA: I would however encourage him to eat healthier and exercise for his own health (I do this already and he's skinny as can be).0 -
No I wouldn't cheat if my boyfriend gained a bunch of weight. After a certain point in a relationship it isn't physical things that keep you together anymore, it is your emotional attachment to them. If I made a list of things that keep our relationship going strong, sex wouldn't even be in the top 5.
now the male take.. sex would be the first 4 things in the list..0 -
Sex is in my top 5... does that make me shallow?0
-
How about instead of cheating you just break it off with them then go out with said person, done? :x
Sex is in the top 5 but it's not the most important thing.0 -
If someone would leave you over your weight, they were never worth being with in the first place.
If you expect someone to stand by your side, while you selfishly destroy your body and health, even though you know better, and refuse to do what needs to be done to set a good example (if you are a mother or father) and it starts leading down a path that would put more stress on your partner... and even leave them feeling alone while you indulge in unhealthy behavior.... then maybe it is not them that isnt worth staying with. Perhaps it is the more selfish individual.0 -
I'd totally cheat on my husband with someone who was "hotter."
Oh, no, wait. I wouldn't.
And I don't have to wait to be put in the situation--I know myself really well. I know my marriage really well. I have years of relationships and my own behavior as evidence to back it up. I don't cheat. I'm not that kind of person. (And by that kind of person, I mean a liar.) And I say that as someone who isn't totally convinced that total monogamy is the key to happiness.
Though, serious answer: if I really, really wanted to sleep with someone else, I'd talk to my husband about it and see if it was something he would be okay with. If it was, then I'd maybe do it. If it wasn't, then I wouldn't. Our marriage is the most important thing in the world to me and sex with someone, no matter how hot or exciting, isn't worth hurting him.
uh....huh? Im confused...
You said "if I really, really wanted to sleep with someone else, I'd talk to my husband about it and see if it was something he would be okay with. If it was, then I'd maybe do it."
And then you say, "ur marriage is the most important thing in the world to me and sex with someone, no matter how hot or exciting, isn't worth hurting him."
that definitely makes NO sense AT ALL!! xD
It doesn't make sense to a lot of people--but if I showed it to my husband (which I will when he gets home from work), it would make perfect sense to him.
Me being honest with him about anything wouldn't hurt him--including admitting a sexual attraction to someone else. He loves and respects me exactly as I am, come what may. I feel the same about him. I wouldn't be incredibly sexually attracted to someone to the point of wanting to have sex with them WITHOUT discussing it with my husband. To me (and in our relationship) that would be keeping secrets and disrespectful.
If he wants to sleep with someone else one day, I'd want him to tell me. If I want to, I'll tell him. (And by want to, I mean to the point where it's distracting. Haven't been to that point or in that situation yet, but I'm realistic enough to know that our marriage in our 20s won't be our marriage in our 30s, 40s or 50s. I think it's totally reasonable to assume that at some time in the next 50 years, one of us will have an incredibly strong purely physical attraction to someone else that won't lessen our love for each other.)
It's one of those things I'll work out when I get there.
I just said, "I'd totally cheat on my husband" because, really? Who's going to excitedly admit to being willing to cheat?
tl;dr If sex with someone else would make my husband feel bad or insecure at all, I'd never have sex with anyone else. If he was cool with it, then I might do it, if I wanted to. Haven't gotten to that point yet--just realistic about the next 50 years.0 -
0 -
Sex is in my top 5... does that make me shallow?
Pretty sure it's in my fiancé and my top 3. We must be super shallow.0 -
Sex is in my top 5... does that make me shallow?
Pretty sure it's in my fiancé and my top 3. We must be super shallow.
shallow only if you get people to watch and compliment.. otherwise.. thats normal..0 -
Sex is in my top 5... does that make me shallow?
Pretty sure it's in my fiancé and my top 3. We must be super shallow.
shallow only if you get people to watch and compliment.. otherwise.. thats normal..
Shallow? You mean, like in a tub of jello?0 -
Sex is in my top 5... does that make me shallow?
Pretty sure it's in my fiancé and my top 3. We must be super shallow.
shallow only if you get people to watch and compliment.. otherwise.. thats normal..
Shallow? You mean, like in a tub of jello?
Jello stains. (FYI)0 -
Sex is in my top 5... does that make me shallow?
Pretty sure it's in my fiancé and my top 3. We must be super shallow.
shallow only if you get people to watch and compliment.. otherwise.. thats normal..
ohno0 -
Sex is in my top 5... does that make me shallow?
Pretty sure it's in my fiancé and my top 3. We must be super shallow.
shallow only if you get people to watch and compliment.. otherwise.. thats normal..
Shallow? You mean, like in a tub of jello?
Jello stains. (FYI)
Ahh, the voice of experience??0 -
Not me, but my ex left me due to my being overweight. His self-esteem was very much wrapped up in my appearance (he could not view himself as successful as a man as long as he had an overweight wife). To his defense, he took a LOT of harassment from his co-workers for several years due to my appearance, until he finally moved out. Most of his co-workers had "trophy wives". This attitude did not fully emerge until he entered the white collar world at an executive level.
It bugged me for years that it didn't matter that I was a good mother or, for that matter, a good person. I was always loving and supportive, worked hard, volunteered for several charities, held a full time job in addition to raising three kids and working on a Master's...but at the end of the day none of that mattered. It is still very hard for me to believe that most men don't secretly feel the same way he did (especially after years of hearing him tell me that, which was backed up by all of his co-workers).
I guess it made me older and wiser...I am far less trusting than I was when I was younger. My weight loss now is motivated solely by my health. Do I believe that love can be blind? No, not really. I think people can tolerate a lot of things when faced with the unpleasant alternative of divorce or loneliness, but tolerance is not the same as acceptance.0 -
My five year olds dad cheated on me and told me it was my fault becasue I was fat. My Mom cheated and left my dad because he was over weight. My soon to be ex husband started cheating on me when I was thin and then I was so depressed I gained weight and became fat again. Well I have no proof, but why else do you spend your day texting and calling other women and then go missing on weekend when you are supposed to be with your son.
I have decided the reason for cheating is not the weight, now it may be the final straw, but you already have to have a cheating personality. Even when I was cheated on it still never crossed my mind because I am just not that type of person.
I have decided not to date anymore though because it just doesnt seem to be working for me.0 -
If you would cheat, you're a douche. Regardless of size. If you can't handle your partner's size, as superficial as it is, then get out. THEN go find someone else.
[ugh]
People disgust me.
my husband gained weight. I was less attracted to him physically. Did i love him less? no. Did the chemical physical attraction lessen? It sure did. Do I disgust you?
Did you cheat on him? If not, then no you do not disgust me. It should be edited to CHEATERS disgust me. I don't mind people being supreficial. We all are to an extent. What bothers me is when people don't have the audacity to ADMIT that the chemistry is gone and just ignore it and search for fixes elsewhere.
awesome. i guess i dont mind being superficial, as long as i don't disgust.0 -
but honestly thinking about that ... if i'm less attracted physically, the sex decreases and if he continued to not please me enough for me to want to get down, that part of the marriage is going to suffer. Once that suffers, other things suffer. and the marriage could very well break down.
two options - divorce or find it elsewhere.
if everything else in the marriage was honky dory except no sex, well, that would suck. and it could easily be held together if i just went elsewhere for sex. Not intamcy, sex.
Honestly, I don't think humans were even made to be monogamous, but this idea of marriage is making us stick to a rule that isn't in our nature. I think monogamy == intimacy is right on. But I actually do not see a problem with going elsewhere for sex. It would have to be agreed upon, as sneaking is sneaking, but argh. i think society norms have screwed this all up.
bottom line - if i got physically unappealing, i ~swear to god~ would hope he'd be comfortable going elsewhere for it.
So if you get pregnant you're screwed?
i have three kids. same exact answer.
edited ... er .. during pregnancy? heh. um. i have no witty retort.0
Categories
- All Categories
- 1.4M Health, Wellness and Goals
- 392.1K Introduce Yourself
- 43.6K Getting Started
- 259.9K Health and Weight Loss
- 175.7K Food and Nutrition
- 47.4K Recipes
- 232.3K Fitness and Exercise
- 403 Sleep, Mindfulness and Overall Wellness
- 6.4K Goal: Maintaining Weight
- 8.5K Goal: Gaining Weight and Body Building
- 152.8K Motivation and Support
- 7.9K Challenges
- 1.3K Debate Club
- 96.3K Chit-Chat
- 2.5K Fun and Games
- 3.4K MyFitnessPal Information
- 23 News and Announcements
- 998 Feature Suggestions and Ideas
- 2.4K MyFitnessPal Tech Support Questions