what is the ideal age to get engaged/married?

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Replies

  • Quiing
    Quiing Posts: 261 Member
    Whenever you're both absolutely sure, I used to want to be married by 25... I'm 26 and I feel no need to rush.
  • Kenzietea2
    Kenzietea2 Posts: 1,132 Member
    There is no right or wrong age. There is a right person, though. You also don't need marriage to be committed.
  • zenchild
    zenchild Posts: 680 Member
    I met my husband when I was 20 and married him right after I turned 25. I was sure I was going to marry him after the first few months but we didn't want to rush into anything so permanent.
    The thing to remember is that marriage will not solve any problems. It will magnify them. It takes work. It's also the best thing I ever did.
  • Hernandeak11
    Hernandeak11 Posts: 351 Member
    My long-time boyfriend is 2 years younger than me, and I wouldn't want to be engaged until his last year of college, or until he's out of college...so not until about 24-25 for me.

    And kids..not until about 30 lol..I plan on going to grad school soon after I get my Bachelor's.
  • LoveAngie23
    LoveAngie23 Posts: 41
    You have the best chance of staying together if you are both at least 25 :)
  • gertrudegreen
    gertrudegreen Posts: 4
    There is no ideal age, but there is an ideal time - and that would be after you have become an individual and have confidence in who you are and what you want out of life. And then, if what you really want out of life is a traditional married life and you are committed to the sacrifices that need to be made to maintain a healthy relationship - that's when you should get married. Until then, discover who you are and don't be afraid to be single, independent and fabulous.:love:
  • abbigail_r
    abbigail_r Posts: 283 Member
    Really its the person. But I think late 20s with this society.
  • katmix
    katmix Posts: 296 Member
    I think if it's a case that you have to ask your friends/relatives/strangers if it's "right"...you're too young. You will know when it is the right one (and they don't come along at any certain "magic" age) and when the time is right.

    I was 21, and my hubby 29 when we got married. It would have been just as right if we had met 10 years later. Two adult children and almost 26 years of marriage later...he's still the right guy!

    In your opinion, what is an acceptable age to get engaged/married. Not saying I'm thinking about it any time soon!! Just curious to what people's thoughts are! :)
  • ashdavis21
    ashdavis21 Posts: 3
    well I'm 23 and engaged o my 22 year old fiance :) we are getting married and will be 25 and 24 a year and a half :) tooo far away lol but really it depends on if you are in love :)
  • capnwo85
    capnwo85 Posts: 1,103 Member
    Once again, "marriage is punishment for shoplifting in some countries." That is all.
  • ShadowSoldier23
    ShadowSoldier23 Posts: 321 Member
    Not big on marriage, don't think it is necessary for kids or other life choices. Marriage does not equal love and with the way folks get divorced I think many folks have the wrong idea of what marriage is anyway.

    I've always had the same opinion. Never been interested in getting married through all of my relationships. It sort of changed when I met my current boyfriend, who I have been with for 3 years now. It was more a mutual decision that eventually we want to get married although we are in no rush at all. I hate that people feel it is necessary. The thing that changed my mind was that I found someone who is wonderful to me and we work together. We have already been through our lowest points, got the fighting and bs out of the way and are happy now. It isn't necessary for us to get married, but we would like to just because we both don't see being with anyone else in life. He is 31 and I'm 25 though and I already went through all my partying/promiscuous ways so I finally know what I want.

    Honestly there is no good answer for this, but for me it was always never until I met the person I am with now. And it's not a necessary thing, just maybe one day when things are right it will happen. Either way I am happy and so is he. We might as well be married the way we are now anyway. lol
  • xHelloQuincyx
    xHelloQuincyx Posts: 884 Member
    if the stick has two little pluss signnss

    bahaha.
    just joking :]
  • Banks01
    Banks01 Posts: 945 Member
    Ideally when you have a chance to experience life together with the milestones that may come.


    That could be birth related or financial gains or housing or any other significant event.


    Personally, Part of all those things made us who we were together, then I divorced her.


    Whoops, sorry
  • LatinaGordita
    LatinaGordita Posts: 377 Member
    Mid 30. By then you should have a good idea of who you are and what you want in life.
  • badgerbadger1
    badgerbadger1 Posts: 954 Member
    NEVER!!!!
  • oddyogi
    oddyogi Posts: 1,816 Member
    I have been with my husband for 6 years..I will be 21 in a month.. I am very happy.. you say you have been divorced how many times? I would say you need to look into youself before you start pointing fingers and making judgments ;)

    You got married when you were 15? Weird.

    Wait a couple years until your loins start to ache.
  • mynameiscarrie
    mynameiscarrie Posts: 963 Member
    I'm gonna agree with PP's that say it's not the age but the person. Sometimes those are correlated, but if you go into marriage thinking it's going to fix a relationship or it will bring you two closer together, you're probably going to end up in divorce. I'm 21 and I'm getting married in 79 days. My fiance and I know this is forever. We don't have any baggage or any issues going into marriage, we just want to start a life together and we both know that our relationship is forever. I think part of what helps us is that we had a conversation about how divorce is not an option for us. I think a lot of people go into marriages thinking "well, if doesn't work out we can just get divorced" and that's not the way marriage should be viewed. I'm not talking about anyone specific here so hopefully no one gets offended because it's not my intention.
  • lucor001
    lucor001 Posts: 17
    Married at 23, first kid at 25, 2nd at 27, still happily together at 31. I'll admit, I'm not expert and by the time 40 rolls around things could change - but these ages felt right to me. Looking back, they still look like the right choices.

    There's tons of good and bad advice out there on being married at any age, so I don't think there's a good answer to your question. So many factors...

    The only thing I'd stress - don't have kids thinking it'll bring you closer together. Although I've heard of that happening to people, all I've found is kids add a TON of stress to mix and being a good "team" is absolutely required. Don't get me wrong, I love my kids, and IMHO they are "good" kids - but they are easily the most difficult thing I've ever been involved with (but the rewards are great!).
  • skittybang
    skittybang Posts: 1,525 Member
    You'll know when ur ready. I was engaged at 21 and married right before my 23rd. I is happy as a clam (hint hint at pic)
  • askme12
    askme12 Posts: 155 Member
    NEVER........but if you REALLY want to id say mid 20s


    I agree with the NEVER part.

    I agree ^^^:bigsmile:
  • LatinaButterfly
    LatinaButterfly Posts: 192 Member
    I was married at 18, divorced at 26... Married again at 27 (different man), we're still married and it's been 12 years now... However, if I had to do it all over again I wouldn't get married until I turned 40... 36 if I wanted children! LOL :D
  • badgerbadger1
    badgerbadger1 Posts: 954 Member
    Hello, I got married young but I wouldnt trade it for anything.. it honestly depends on the person & when they find the one.. I got engaged at 18 and got married at 20.

    but you are still 20. so yeah. um. i'd hope you'd still be happy.

    :laugh: :laugh:

    I have been with my husband for 6 years..I will be 21 in a month.. I am very happy.. you say you have been divorced how many times? I would say you need to look into youself before you start pointing fingers and making judgments ;)

    Creepy.
  • bjfmade
    bjfmade Posts: 543 Member
    When the time is right, you will think you know. Once you take the plunge, make sure to work on your marriage. It isn't always roses and boxes of candy, but it does get easier. I have been married 26 years. I got married when I was 21 and my husband was 23. We enjoy doing things together, kids are out of the house and we just became grandparents. Doesn't get much better than that!
  • RunChinni
    RunChinni Posts: 149 Member
    I've been with my husband for 4 years now. I am 25. He's 31. We got married when I was 22, dated for a year.

    You are going to find some people who are cynical based on their experience and some people who are over the moon based on their experiences.

    What you need to do is follow your heart and make sure you are getting married to the right person for the right reasons. Never ever settle for someone because they seem to be the best at the moment.

    When I got married, we'd both dated people. I dated my high school sweetheart for a good 4 years before we broke up. Went on dates with a few others. But when I met my husband back then, I knew instantly, that he was it for me. We have been through hardships, financial and therefore, emotional. Both of us were in grad school (he's about to finish, I graduated last fall), we were living on one income. But we knew from the start that it was going to be tough. We planned it out. And it worked. I know there are tougher times to come (with the kids and all), but we balance one another out :-)
  • chefabitino
    chefabitino Posts: 74
    when you have a million in the bank and you love him or her without wanting to sign a prenupt!
  • cakeums
    cakeums Posts: 228 Member
    I would say get engaged after 30 then get married then have kids.

    I do not see why people would want to get married in their 20's. That is the time for dating, exploring the world, going to college, having fun with friends. And generally being a young adult without older adult responsibilities.

    We have told our daughter since the day she was born....you will not get married or have kids until after 30. People love to tell me you can't control your child's life once they are grown. True. But I can cement in her mind on a daily basis what a enjoyable, successful, life takes. Do not get married and especially do not have kids before 30.

    I see people get married at 22 and feel sad for them Yuck! But to each their own. By the way. I am 42 and love being married and having our sweet 9 year old daughter! I didn't get married until after 30 and am so thankful for my decision.

    I got married at 22 and we are still here, still happy, 6 years (of marriage, 8 years total) and two kids later. We have gone through extremely difficult, trying times - things that most in-tact, functional couples don't go through in twice as many years of marriage. (No, that is not an exaggeration. We are talking major medical issues, financial issues, a deployment, and so on.) We have both grown and learned from our experiences. If we could have had the same children and waited another few years to enjoy just being married, then sure, I would consider going back and doing that part over. However, by the time I'm 42, my children will be (nearly) grown and we will have the rest of our lives to just enjoy being married.

    I would rather have more time with my husband - who is truly my best friend - than have waited another 10 years before meeting and marrying him. I don't feel sad for you not having had that time, so don't feel sad for me because I got married young.
  • jeccalou
    jeccalou Posts: 92 Member
    Follow your heart. You'll know when you are ready.
    This!!
    Married at 19 and will be celebrating 15 years this year and hoping for a hundred more.
  • iluxoxo211
    iluxoxo211 Posts: 241 Member
    I have been with my husband for 6 years..I will be 21 in a month.. I am very happy.. you say you have been divorced how many times? I would say you need to look into youself before you start pointing fingers and making judgments ;)

    You got married when you were 15? Weird.

    Wait a couple years until your loins start to ache.


    LOL I said in my last post I was 20 when I got married.. some people are very mature for their ages.. I have always been more mature. I met my mate very young and I am so happy I did..you are 24..and have been divorced not once but twice..? I got married young yes but just because you are young when you get married doesnt mean a single thing...everyone is different.
  • iluxoxo211
    iluxoxo211 Posts: 241 Member
    Follow your heart. You'll know when you are ready.
    This!!
    Married at 19 and will be celebrating 15 years this year and hoping for a hundred more.


    love this :)
  • oddyogi
    oddyogi Posts: 1,816 Member
    LOL I said in my last post I was 20 when I got married.. some people are very mature for their ages.. I have always been more mature. I met my mate very young and I am so happy I did..you are 24..and have been divorced not once but twice..? I got married young yes but just because you are young when you get married doesnt mean a single thing...everyone is different.

    Ooookiedokey.

    Good luck with your marriage, and I mean that sincerely, not sarcastically. It's just not for me.
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