I find myself becoming very judgemental

It must be exhausting for some of you worrying about other peoples' lives, trying to get them to live how you think they should live, trying to get them to look how you feel they should look, trying to get them to think how you think, etc...

i work in a grocery store and i get so annoyed when i see families come through and spend maybe £100+ (i live in the UK) on a food shop and the only fresh thing they've bought it milk! especially when you can see that the parents and the children are overweight/obese. it really grinds on me though when those same people will buy food because it has the 'weightwatchers' label on it but they are seemingly incapable of buying ANY fruit and veg at all. and when you see the same customers come in week after week after week (some of the customers i've seen for the past 4 years i've worked this job) and there has been no change, it just baffles me. if a parent wants to eat nothing but junk then that is fine, but when they are feeding the children the same food and encouraging those habits in them, i get very judgemental. and yes, i do talk to the customers so i know for a fact that they aren't simply buying fruit or veg anywhere. i mean, i am all for eating everything in moderation but i can't stop myself getting judgemental in cases like that.

Don't feel bad AT ALL!!! What I have recognized is exactly what you said....it is easy to lose weight if you put your mind and effort to it...as my girlfriend says' you gotta mean it!!!'. You mean it and are dong what you need to do to be healthier and when you see people making decisions that are not what you are doing , you have the right to feel the way you do. I could go on and on about this but I will stop there!

Keep up the good work everyone!!!

I get frustrated by excuses. Particularly when someone complains about their weight, and then makes a million excuses for why they "can't" do anything about it. And if they say something like "Well, if I were lucky like you and had [____], I'd be able to do it to," then I want to smack them. I'm not lucky, I work hard for my health and my body.

Judgemental? Not in my opinion. I just don't like complainers who don't do anything about their situations.

Also, I was judgemental because my health insurance premium went up this year. A cited cause? Increase in obesity of employees. Ugh.

Of course it's not judgmental "in your opinion." But you really don't have any idea how easy or hard anything is for anyone but you. I quit smoking in 2005, and even though I'd smoked for 25 years, it was EASY PEASY! When I finished the pack I was on, I just...quit. I chewed two pieces of Nicorette, because I expected it to be hard, but Nicorette tastes AWFUL and quitting was so easy I just gave away the rest of the Nicorette. Never wanted another cigarette, never missed them. It would be easy for me to decide that people who try to quit and fail just didn't try as hard as I did. But you know what? I'M LUCKY in that regard. I didn't 'work hard for my health..." I was LUCKY! I'm not BETTER than anyone, just LUCKY! I don't care how hard you think you work for your health and your body, you DO NOT know you work harder than anyone else.

In my opinion, I'm not being judgmental of you, I just hate people who think they're better than other people. See how that opinion thing can be inaccurate sometimes?

Also, I don't believe "increased obesity of employees" was the stated reason for your insurance premium increase. And what were the other "cited causes?" Does even one of them apply to you in any way?

I'm not really sure what the first part of your response has anything to do with what I posted. I said I don't like people who complain about their situation, make excuses, and do nothing. As though someone is supposed to make them fit without them having to do the work. Which is totally different than what you are referencing, but hey, good for you and congrats on your success quitting smoking! That's awesome!

I don't really care if you believe it was a stated reason or not. I'm pretty sure you weren't staring at the slide presentation with me? Anyway...

I'm not really sure what part of my post upset you so much, so good luck and many successes to you!

You claimed you weren't "lucky" as claimed by others but you only got your weight & health by hard work, and that's why you could judge them. I'm saying I could easily say I'm better than all those people who say they can't quit smoking because I just stopped one day. And I know, in my heart, if it was as easy for them as it was for me, they would have too. And you don't know that the reason the people who you say complain about their situation don't work HARD. You don't know what they're doing, or how hard the work they're doing is for them. I lost around 100 pounds before coming to MFP, and I really, truly believe that if the overweight people I see around me could lose their weight they would. For some reason, they weren't blessed with whatever it is in me that allowed me to do that. No one has the right to judge, because no one knows how difficult it is for someone else.

I said I could judge them because I work hard? Where? I didn't. In fact, I never stated that I could or should judge anyone. I said, " I just don't like complainers who don't do anything about their situations."

You're putting words in my mouth. If you re-read my post, I never said any of the things you are claiming and I made sure to explain that my frustration was geared towards a very specific type of situation.

The whole premise of your disdain is unfounded. Go hammer on someone else.

Hmmm. You're projecting? When I eat something like ice cream in public, like I did the other day, I feel awkward, because I worry I'm being judged.

But you might consider that some of these folks have planned for their splurge, as some of us on MFP do. Or we count it and move on, even if we're over our calories for the day.

Ok. One of the instances that pissed me off. I was at a texmex place, on my spike day, eating queso, a huge burrito, etc. This family walks in (Husband, wife, about a 7 year old, and a 1 year old) They were all over weight. Parents were obese. They sat next to us, and when they got their food, the man *****ed at the waiter because he ordered 2 lbs of fajita meat. TWO FREAKING POUNDS!!!! And she said "oh, when you said two, I thought you meant you wanted fajitas for two." He wanted to eat enough meat for 4 freaking people. WHY!?!?!

I could judge you for not knowing how to spell judgmental. I think, "It's not hard to pick up a dictionary."

Everyone is at different points of the weight loss experience. Maybe somebody else thinks you're weak for having put on any excess weight in the first place--do they have the right to judge you? We're all here to improve ourselves, and we're supposed to be supportive as part of the MFP community. You don't have the right to judge someone else "yet" or ever, and posting about it, trying to make it acceptable by pretending to be concerned about your judgmental nature, is irritating--be ashamed of it and keep it to yourself if you truly believe it's wrong.

I could judge you for not knowing how to spell judgmental. I think, "It's not hard to pick up a dictionary."

Off topic, but both spellings of the word are correct.

I find that I am when people get into my personal space. For example, I ride a bus to work, and when someone overweight crams themselves into the seat next to me so that they are partially sitting on me, I get really irritated. I take up less than a whole seat, sure, but if you take up more than 1.3 seats, that doesn't give you the right to sit on me. Plus, while being sat on, one can't really leave and get a different seat. So I'm left with either telling someone they are too big for the space (and risk physical harm given the environment) or just deal with being sat on for up to an hour.

That's when I get judgy about weight.

People can be whatever weight they want; It's none of my business; but really, they need to accept that they take up a certain amount of space and accommodate themselves.