what is the ideal age to get engaged/married?

I've thought about this after watching the various successes and failures of friends' and relatives' marriages.

I used to think nobody should get married before 25 and preferably not even before 30, just because I think there is tremendous benefit in spending some time on your own and learning who you are before you commit to spending the rest of your life with someone.

But now I think the right time to get married is when you are sure of what you want for your life and you have found a person who wants the same things. I have a friend from high school who got married at 18 to her 20-year-old boyfriend. 10 years later, they are still very happily married with two kids. I asked her once why she never went to college or spent any time living on her own before she got married, and she said "I didn't want that. I knew I wanted to be a wife and a mother, and it didn't make sense to me to waste time and money doing other things just because people thought I was too young."

That made sense to me. I, too, want to be a wife and mother someday, but there were other things I wanted, too, and I knew that it would be easier to do those other things first. But if I hadn't had any educational or professional ambitions or anything else I wanted to do before settling down, I probably would've gotten married a long time ago.

I like your explaination I was simmilar to your friend. I knew I wanted a family and thought it was silly to wait just because society felt I should. I'm glad I did, I would never have had kids had I not started when I was 20.

I agree that there really isn't an ideal age. I think it depends on where you're at mentally and emotionally. I've seen successful couples that got married right out of high school as well as couples who waited until they were settled in their careers, finances, etc. If it's a matter of success, I think the key is to have two people who are determined to make the marriage work. Marriage doesn't end after the walk down the aisle and the big party. It's work for the rest of your lives.

Though personally, I think that mid to late 20's is a bit better since I believe that everyone should have some time on their own to discover who they are before they become part of a couple.

When you're ready. Age means little when it comes to love or maturity.

^^^^^^^My thoughts!!!

wow there are so many pessimistic answers lol. I would say mid 20's to mid 30's. I was 24 when I got married and to me it was perfect timing. There is no set age , it just depends when you are ready.

Too many people are wasting their youth in my opinion on relationships! Have fun while you are young!

What part of being married is wasting my youth? My husband and I have fun every day.

Depends on the person. I've been with my boyfriend since I was 15, will be 20 this April and been with him for five years, living together for a year this May. If he were to propose to me I would say yes and want to be married in two or so years (I see nothing wrong with having an engagement for over a year). I really do love my boyfriend, he loves me, we get along very well, living together has gone well (everybody was so worried when I said I was going to move in with him but our relationship didn't change for the worse or anything). I don't think I've wasted my youth. I honestly don't care about going out to parties and stuff. I still go out to bars sometimes by myself with friends or with my boyfriend and/or friends and I still do my own thing as he goes out and does his own thing too.

But for somebody else maybe they aren't ready to get married until their 30s or they haven't found the right one until then but if you've found the right one at a young age and you are BOTH ready for marriage, etc, etc then maybe before 25 is the right age for you.

ETA: Looking at it this way...say my situation, been with my boyfriend for five years, we're both VERY happy, but JUST because we're young we shouldn't get married until my 30s...I should date him for 15 years before marrying him? Or I should break up with him just to live a free single life for a while before settling down even though I'm incredibly happy right now? That's why I think the ideal age depends on the person/relationship/etc.

Chase your dreams first, travel the world, then get married!

I do think you have to be sure of what you want. My dreams can be chased even if I'm married, and I don't WANT to travel the world. And if I did I'd want somebody with me. If I were to travel the world by myself I'd be sooo lonely. I love my family and my friends way too much and couldn't leave them all. Traveling a bit for vacations is what I would do and I can do that with a husband if I wanted. I personally do not care to go to school for years and years to have some big career in nursing or law or anything like that.

Too many people are wasting their youth in my opinion on relationships! Have fun while you are young!

What part of being married is wasting my youth? My husband and I have fun every day.

I completely agree! I may not be married but I'm living with my boyfriend and I still have fun all the time. I have waaaay more fun everyday with him than I did when I was living alone before I moved in with him. And we do have fun. I go out when I get the chance and we both go out. Right now the only thing that's stopping me from having fun is MY JOB (working lots and combination of mornings, afternoons and nights). And that doesn't go away when you get older...

There is no ideal. Every person is ready for that committment at a different time in their life. For me, I was 25 when we got engaged and 27 when we got married. So far, so good.

I also don't think the "have fun and see the world first" makes sense. I want to have fun, travel, and achieve goals WITH my partner.

What's with the long engagements?

I am a born again bible beleiver so I believe that premarital sex is a sin so my opinion is 18,

I don't remember reading in the Bible that you should marry at 18?

The bible say's that we should marry so we don't burn in lust so thats why I say 18 the first legal age you can get married, that was my logic

wow

ummmmm...... yea! ok, soooooo any way's.............

Too many people are wasting their youth in my opinion on relationships! Have fun while you are young!

What part of being married is wasting my youth? My husband and I have fun every day.

I don't think you have the same experience when you're in a relationship. My friends in relationships and my single friends are so different. My relationship friends hate the bars and want to go home early, would rather stay in than go out anyway, and they worry about what their partner thinks all the time. Young singles can do what you want on a moment's notice without having to check with others and they don't have to worry about what your partner says..I could write a list all day! It's not the same having fun being single and having fun in a relationship.
I'm not faulting those in relationships at a young age. But I am saying don't rush into relationships at a young age, because being young is when you're supposed to have fun and be carefree, and if you're in a relationship, you're sometimes held down by the other person, whether intentionally or not.

offically the stats (in the uk) show you are least likely to get divorced if you marry in your ealy 30's

What's with the long engagements?

We got engaged on New Year's and I was set on a September wedding, but I wanted at least a year to plan it. Our #1 venue and photographer were also both booked the entire year immediately following our engagement.

But that's just us. I loved it and had virtually no stress.

We got engaged in our first year of uni. It was always our intention to get married as soon as we graduated.

I was engaged at 19, and married 5 months later when I was 20. I was with my husband for four years before we got married. Spent two years of our relationship only seeing eachother once every two months, until we were married and moved to England (he is military). May 7 will be our one year anniversary!

Id say it all depends!

I'm 35 and i'm getting married this year.

When u can afford it, fiscally, emotionally, and spiritaully. For me, itll be about 25