You wouldn't dat eme when I was fat... why should I date n

jbella99
jbella99 Posts: 596 Member
Okay I have a rant. I go to a male dominanted gym only because it's close to home. I go i do my thing and i leave. I am not there to pick up guys or socialize. there are plenty of skinny fat girls wearing lulus and a ton of makeup for the hot bods to oogle.

The last couple of days i notice that this guy, who is very attractive probably early to mid 30s, Is always there at the same time as me. He stares at me and uses machines close to mine. I smile and go about my business, He has been going there since I started and never gave me the time of day before, when I would maybe see him once a week. Now I just feel like he's taking notice because i've dropped some weight. Should i be flattered or am i right to be a little preturbed by this new found attention?
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Replies

  • jbella99
    jbella99 Posts: 596 Member
    I was so disturbed i forgot how to spell and use correct grammar. hahahaha
  • california_peach
    california_peach Posts: 1,809 Member
    Just be flattered. He may have been looking at you before and you did not notice, or maybe he is equally attracted to your dedication to being fit as he is to your looks, so now he is making the googly eyes at you.
  • northfresh
    northfresh Posts: 111
    Or maybe you're looking into it a bit? What if he doesn't really notice anyone who isn't using the machine right next to him, because he's too focused on his workout? In any case, just keep going and doing your thing and don't worry about his intentions, the lulu girls' intentions, or anything like that. That's not why you're there, right? :) Keep it for you!
  • jbella99
    jbella99 Posts: 596 Member
    Just be flattered. He may have been looking at you before and you did not notice, or maybe he is equally attracted to your dedication to being fit as he is to your looks, so now he is making the googly eyes at you.

    I am trying to take it as compliment but it makes me very uncomfortable to be oogled at when i am trying to push through a workout.
  • MILICA1986
    MILICA1986 Posts: 168 Member
    If he is under 32 y.o., please send him over to me and he won't bother you anymore :bigsmile:
  • Mina133842
    Mina133842 Posts: 1,573 Member
    might not be because of the weight loss- could be he didn't "appear" interested before because he wasn't single at the time, or as another poster said, you didn't notice. oblivious because you're working out and doing your own thing.
  • craignev
    craignev Posts: 1,247 Member
    Maybe he's just shy and has been building up his courage.
  • Fact is...he may have seen you as a fat slacker gym wannabe but maybe he's been watching your progress and is impressed and attracted now. It happens, don't discredit someone just because they didn't take notice before.
  • Sarahmeridith
    Sarahmeridith Posts: 298 Member
    Maybe he just thinks your attractivem its a compliment! Id kill to be looked at every not and again! (Im married but it still feels good for people to be attracted to you
  • softballsharie
    softballsharie Posts: 154 Member
    I would only really be offended if I knew the guy before I lost weight, he never showed any interest in me, and then after making some sort of comment about my weight loss, he is all of a sudden interested in me. If I didn't know him before I lost weight, then I have no room to judge on whether he actually thought I was attractive then or not.
  • cmriverside
    cmriverside Posts: 34,393 Member
    I say he wants to see how you react.....why don't you talk to him? If you like him, it may lead to something. If he still makes you uncomfortable, ask him to give you some space...
  • Bikini27
    Bikini27 Posts: 1,290 Member
    Fact is...he may have seen you as a fat slacker gym wannabe but maybe he's been watching your progress and is impressed and attracted now. It happens, don't discredit someone just because they didn't take notice before.

    Yep.
  • RumOne
    RumOne Posts: 266 Member
    maybe with your weight loss, you have gained some confidence and he is taking notice of that.
  • Trail_Addict
    Trail_Addict Posts: 1,340 Member
    I'm confused. Did he say he wasn't interested in you because you "were fat" before? If not, then why would you jump to that conclusion? That's on you, not him.
  • JMarigold
    JMarigold Posts: 232 Member
    It's impossible to know really. But you could give the guy the benefit of the doubt and realize it may be that he's usually pretty absorbed in his workout too but only noticed you over time b/c you were there at the same time as him. I know that happened to me . . . I'd only notice people after our workouts coincided for months.

    And now he may be thinking . . . man she's so dedicated. She's really kicking some @ss! Maybe he finds your concentration on working out way hotter than any of those "skinny/fat" girls who are barely doing anything :)
  • tmoyer1209
    tmoyer1209 Posts: 213 Member
    I would just assume that he wants to be friends because he sees you there so regularly and you are a friendly face. He may feel out of place being there alone and want some company on his workout.
  • fteale
    fteale Posts: 5,310 Member
    Not really. Maybe he only just noticed you. If he hasn't said anything he's probably just being friendly.
  • Dayna154
    Dayna154 Posts: 910 Member
    maybe he didn’t feel confident enough to show interest in you.. maybe he also lacked confidence.
    Just enjoy the fact that he does make google eyes at you and keep going..
    No biggie unless he starts harassing
  • BrendaLee
    BrendaLee Posts: 4,463 Member
    If a guy who didn't find you attractive before suddenly finds you attractive, I'd say that's a compliment.
  • Forget him. He should have approached you before such a big change. Just going to the gym says something positive about you. That would have been a good ice breaker.
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  • kealambert
    kealambert Posts: 961 Member
    I don't know about you, but attention from someone I didn't get before is a huge form of flattery...I am getting in shape to be healthy, but let's face it, I want to look good and be attractive. When I was in better shape, I was far more popular with the ladies, and I miss that a lot.

    maybe it's a guy thing, but getting the attention I didn't previously get is a motivation for me, not something I get angry or bitter about. Yes, I want to be liked for who I am, but attraction is very important.
  • danibabs
    danibabs Posts: 298 Member
    This thread reminds me of the How I Met Your Mother episode where they start going to the gym. Barney already goes to the gym a lot. He has "investments" - women that he meets and is super nice and flirty with when they're overweight, so when they get skinny they'll sleep with him.

    That's all.
  • kealambert
    kealambert Posts: 961 Member
    Forget him. He should have approached you before such a big change. Just going to the gym says something positive about you. That would have been a good ice breaker.
    but if he wasn't attracted, why would he? is he not allowed to be attracted to someone's looks over another?
  • vsmurrow
    vsmurrow Posts: 145
    tumblr_lw3pjegQby1r3rsuro1_400.gif
  • JaySpice
    JaySpice Posts: 326 Member
    Okay I have a rant. I go to a male dominanted gym only because it's close to home. I go i do my thing and i leave. I am not there to pick up guys or socialize. there are plenty of skinny fat girls wearing lulus and a ton of makeup for the hot bods to oogle.

    The last couple of days i notice that this guy, who is very attractive probably early to mid 30s, Is always there at the same time as me. He stares at me and uses machines close to mine. I smile and go about my business, He has been going there since I started and never gave me the time of day before, when I would maybe see him once a week. Now I just feel like he's taking notice because i've dropped some weight. Should i be flattered or am i right to be a little preturbed by this new found attention?

    Maybe he noticed your progress and is secretly proud.

    Or maybe your boobs hit your chin when you bounce.
  • taylmarie
    taylmarie Posts: 161
    Be flattered! I know that when I was in good shape I found myself hotter than I do now ha ha! To be fair, if you have not talked to someone and they do not who you are or your personality than all they have to go on is physical attraction. It is not wrong to be attracted to someone who is more fit, we all have a different type. Maybe he is impressed with your progress. Unless he is ogling and bothering you, I say enjoy it!!
  • SinIsIn
    SinIsIn Posts: 1,865 Member
    Why do women put way too much thought into things? Quit over thinking and over reacting.
  • callmeBAM
    callmeBAM Posts: 445 Member
    NEWSFLASH: Guys like women they are attracted to.
  • boomboom011
    boomboom011 Posts: 1,459
    let me get this straight

    You are upset that he didnt notice you when you were bigger and now that he is noticing you, you are upset? :noway: