You wouldn't dat eme when I was fat... why should I date n
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Ask him to sleep with you and see how that goes.0
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Okay I have a rant. I go to a male dominanted gym only because it's close to home. I go i do my thing and i leave. I am not there to pick up guys or socialize. there are plenty of skinny fat girls wearing lulus and a ton of makeup for the hot bods to oogle.
The last couple of days i notice that this guy, who is very attractive probably early to mid 30s, Is always there at the same time as me. He stares at me and uses machines close to mine. I smile and go about my business, He has been going there since I started and never gave me the time of day before, when I would maybe see him once a week. Now I just feel like he's taking notice because i've dropped some weight. Should i be flattered or am i right to be a little preturbed by this new found attention?
At no time should a man ogle a woman, especially if it's making you uncomfortable. Tell him either to grow some balls and ask you out, or keep his eyes to himself. You're not there to be eye candy, you're there to work out.
Sorry, I get right p.o'd when someone interrupts my gym time by leering at me. I don't go to be stared at, I go to kick my own butt.
Maybe I'm crazy but one of the reasons I bust my *kitten* in the gym is to become eye candy. Some day it will happen. :bigsmile:0 -
If you didn't feel confident enough to approach him 40lbs ago, why should you have expected him to do the same?
Just appreciate when someone compliments you about the changes you are making as they obviously see the hard work and dedication that you are putting towards yourself. That in itself regardless of how much you have lost can be an attractive quality about a person.0 -
Just be flattered. He may have been looking at you before and you did not notice, or maybe he is equally attracted to your dedication to being fit as he is to your looks, so now he is making the googly eyes at you.
I am trying to take it as compliment but it makes me very uncomfortable to be oogled at when i am trying to push through a workout.
Oh come on woman! What are you losing this weight for?
When you're fat you feel invisible and this is liberating in its way - but to lose weight is to return to the game of life, and in that game of life is the experience of being ogled by hot thirty something guys.
Live a little! Throw away your female eunuch and your other feminist rantings and just enjoy. Life is too short to get upset at the nice things.
As to teh bloke: he never even saw you till one day he saw you. That's how their brains work. You hit a certain size, you have a certain shape, this flicks a switch in their primeval little boy minds and bang - they become aware.
There's no point psychoanalysing a male: there's nothing in there to psychoanalyse. They're like cats, or dogs, they just operate on instinct. So relax and just operate on instinct, too. You fancy him? Ogle back.0 -
Okay I have a rant. I go to a male dominanted gym only because it's close to home. I go i do my thing and i leave. I am not there to pick up guys or socialize. there are plenty of skinny fat girls wearing lulus and a ton of makeup for the hot bods to oogle.
The last couple of days i notice that this guy, who is very attractive probably early to mid 30s, Is always there at the same time as me. He stares at me and uses machines close to mine. I smile and go about my business, He has been going there since I started and never gave me the time of day before, when I would maybe see him once a week. Now I just feel like he's taking notice because i've dropped some weight. Should i be flattered or am i right to be a little preturbed by this new found attention?
At no time should a man ogle a woman, especially if it's making you uncomfortable. Tell him either to grow some balls and ask you out, or keep his eyes to himself. You're not there to be eye candy, you're there to work out.
Sorry, I get right p.o'd when someone interrupts my gym time by leering at me. I don't go to be stared at, I go to kick my own butt.
THANK YOU!!!
Totally agree. Staring is rude... staring at my butt is ruder... staring at my butt when i'm running on a treadmill, sweating and uncomfortable is EXTREMELY RUDE. Staring right where I can see you staring is totally disrespecting me, how it may make me feel, etc.
Sure, it may be difficult to not look at a hot piece of *kitten* shaking in front of you, but that hot *kitten* is attached to a person whose feelings you may (or may not) disrupt. Keep it to covert glances, guys.
And wth at him gym-stalking you.... that is so uncool. Is it really that hard to say hi to a woman who SMILES AT YOU? Good on your for saying what you said.0 -
Oh - and please don't blow it with grumpy complainings! Slim people aren't grumpy - it's one of the things you aren't allowed to be. You have to be friendly, and relaxed, and you have to have the confidence your body earns. you're not allowed hangups, you're not allowed moods, you're not allowed to feel hard done by by life and caustic and sophisticatedly ironic. These are the tools of life's failures and when you succeed you have to bin them.
They intimidate and harm people. Here is this guy who has shown an interest and you go his jugular like an angry big sister.
Sorry for telling you off but it's a vital lesson to learn lol. People who are popular are nice. People who are successful are relaxed. If you want to be popular and successful, you have to do these things.0 -
for the record today at the gym "mr Biceps" was there. So when I was working out in the areobics room alone we came in to do some skipping which of course made me a feel alittle awkward. So I turned around and asked if he'd like to take a picture so I could get on with my workout, He laughed and said "well not exactly the ice breaker I was hoping for" I told him he was making self conscience and if he wanted to talk to me he should have just said something rather than stalking me while I'm trying to workout. I asked him if he wanted to go for a coffee after the gym. He said sure. While at coffee I told him what I thought about the not noticing me before and he said he did and that he was impressed with the changes to my body. I asked if he would have agreed to coffee 40 lbs ago and he said he couldn't really answer that cuz it didnt happen.
I call BS.0 -
for the record today at the gym "mr Biceps" was there. So when I was working out in the areobics room alone we came in to do some skipping which of course made me a feel alittle awkward. So I turned around and asked if he'd like to take a picture so I could get on with my workout, He laughed and said "well not exactly the ice breaker I was hoping for" I told him he was making self conscience and if he wanted to talk to me he should have just said something rather than stalking me while I'm trying to workout. I asked him if he wanted to go for a coffee after the gym. He said sure. While at coffee I told him what I thought about the not noticing me before and he said he did and that he was impressed with the changes to my body. I asked if he would have agreed to coffee 40 lbs ago and he said he couldn't really answer that cuz it didnt happen.
I call BS.
I kind of came to that conclusion myself.
Not to mention who the eff "skips"0 -
for the record today at the gym "mr Biceps" was there. So when I was working out in the areobics room alone we came in to do some skipping which of course made me a feel alittle awkward. So I turned around and asked if he'd like to take a picture so I could get on with my workout, He laughed and said "well not exactly the ice breaker I was hoping for" I told him he was making self conscience and if he wanted to talk to me he should have just said something rather than stalking me while I'm trying to workout. I asked him if he wanted to go for a coffee after the gym. He said sure. While at coffee I told him what I thought about the not noticing me before and he said he did and that he was impressed with the changes to my body. I asked if he would have agreed to coffee 40 lbs ago and he said he couldn't really answer that cuz it didnt happen.
I call BS.
I kind of came to that conclusion myself.
Not to mention who the eff "skips"
<--This Guy!
maybe she meant jump rope?0 -
haha,
never date anyone from your gym, its your life, your retreat, your all these days, don't ruin it,
I make it a rule to try and not oggle the gals in the gym, but I cannot help respecting their change of body shape or effort they r putting in,
its easy to get the wrong signals,
with your big change, u can score anywhere, lol, enjoy it,0 -
Totally agree. Staring is rude... staring at my butt is ruder... staring at my butt when i'm running on a treadmill, sweating and uncomfortable is EXTREMELY RUDE. Staring right where I can see you staring is totally disrespecting me, how it may make me feel, etc.
Sure, it may be difficult to not look at a hot piece of *kitten* shaking in front of you, but that hot *kitten* is attached to a person whose feelings you may (or may not) disrupt. Keep it to covert glances, guys.
And wth at him gym-stalking you.... that is so uncool. Is it really that hard to say hi to a woman who SMILES AT YOU? Good on your for saying what you said.
that's it, next time I hit the YMCA I am going in wearing one of these:
but to me the cardio machines/treadmills gals don't grab my attention. it's the ones that lift. :blushing:0 -
After thought, - There is always the chance the guy had no self confidence before his own body transformation,
maybe his confidence gained, he could of thought u were out of his league even then,,,,0 -
but if he wasn't attracted, why would he? is he not allowed to be attracted to someone's looks over another?Forget him. He should have approached you before such a big change. Just going to the gym says something positive about you. That would have been a good ice breaker.
because this new found attraction is only skin deep. I am still the exact same person I was before losing weight has not affected my personalitly in the least. I always thought I was sexy and attractive, Perhaps this is why it bothers me so much.
I thought I was attractive when I was a bit bigger too. And now I look back at photos and realise I really wasn't. I don't really have the kind of life where I get hit on, but I don't mind that I have a lot more male friends now that I have lost weight.0 -
Take it as a compliment! Why wouldn't you. As someone else suggested, he may have been looking at you all along. But then again, maybe HE is feeling more confident as HIS fitness journey continues.
Feel flattered and reminded that you are strong and beautiful and people notice!!0 -
for the record today at the gym "mr Biceps" was there. So when I was working out in the areobics room alone we came in to do some skipping which of course made me a feel alittle awkward. So I turned around and asked if he'd like to take a picture so I could get on with my workout, He laughed and said "well not exactly the ice breaker I was hoping for" I told him he was making self conscience and if he wanted to talk to me he should have just said something rather than stalking me while I'm trying to workout. I asked him if he wanted to go for a coffee after the gym. He said sure. While at coffee I told him what I thought about the not noticing me before and he said he did and that he was impressed with the changes to my body. I asked if he would have agreed to coffee 40 lbs ago and he said he couldn't really answer that cuz it didnt happen.
Why are you being so aggressive with him? Do you like him?0 -
I DIDN'T SAY HE WAS SHALLOW. I just think it's sad that so many people think they have to be skinny to get a guys attention. The point I was making had nothing really to do with him. It had to do with the response I knew I would get that we don't see people for who they are just what they are. Fat, skinny, muscley, nerdy what have you.
that's an element of attraction. if you didn't think it was important yourself, you wouldn't work out, wear clothing, have a home, bathe, put on make up, or any of the other thousands of things we as a society do to make ourselves more attractive. it's not an attack, just human nature.0 -
and calling him 'mr. biceps,' is in its own sense a judgment of him based solely on his looks, nothing else. I feel we all make these judgments.0
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i just want to be oogled..... ive dropped a good big of weight and never notice anyone noticing but at least the skinny fat girls compliment me on my loss lol0
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I would only really be offended if I knew the guy before I lost weight, he never showed any interest in me, and then after making some sort of comment about my weight loss, he is all of a sudden interested in me. If I didn't know him before I lost weight, then I have no room to judge on whether he actually thought I was attractive then or not.
Agree with this one!
Too many variables to understand a stranger's intentions.0 -
sweets I would just do your thing and if it ever goes beyond a smile then there will be your chance to say something about it.0
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Maybe the transformation is a turn-on?! Being able to stay the course on something difficult shows a strong person - and also one that can make positive change. Eh, one conversation can change your life!0
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you can't see personality across a room... everyone is beautiful in their own way, but it truly speaks volumes about a person that physically takes care of themselves.
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Honestly, I would feel extremely flattered and it would make me want to work that much harder. He is probably very impressed by your hard work and dedication as many men want that in a woman! Now it's different if it's someone you used to date lol. My ex husband had a big issue with my weight to the point of name calling and berating me..now that I'm losing weight and he isn't I would never give him the time of day.
"If you can't love me at my worst, then you sure as hell don't deserve me at my best!"0 -
Or maybe you're over-thinking the whole thing.0
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Could it be that he sees how far you have come and finds your determination attractive? I've come by this a few times myself as I've lost more and more weight. In some cases, yes, some people were shallow enough to take notice just because I "looked better", but not everyone is like that.
One guy I'd known when I was at my heaviest and never showed any interest, but when I saw him again 50 lbs lighter, he took interest and I asked him why. He told me that not everyone could do what I did, and am still doing. It takes a very strong person to stick to your goals and work for them. He found a new respect for me and that made me more attractive to him.
So I say, give him a chance if he approaches you. You never know!0 -
Okay I have a rant. I go to a male dominanted gym only because it's close to home. I go i do my thing and i leave. I am not there to pick up guys or socialize. there are plenty of skinny fat girls wearing lulus and a ton of makeup for the hot bods to oogle.
The last couple of days i notice that this guy, who is very attractive probably early to mid 30s, Is always there at the same time as me. He stares at me and uses machines close to mine. I smile and go about my business, He has been going there since I started and never gave me the time of day before, when I would maybe see him once a week. Now I just feel like he's taking notice because i've dropped some weight. Should i be flattered or am i right to be a little preturbed by this new found attention?
I am a little confused...maybe it's because i've been married for so long i don't know how the dating/single life works. But if he didnt speak to you then when u had the weight and he doesnt speak to u (just stares) now that you've lost the weight..how can u assume he is now interested in dating u when he still hasnt spoken to u and he just stares?0 -
I say let him look all he wants. You are doing this for YOU. And if he gets the courage to speak to you instead of just watch you, you just might like him after all.0
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Okay I have a rant. I go to a male dominanted gym only because it's close to home. I go i do my thing and i leave. I am not there to pick up guys or socialize. there are plenty of skinny fat girls wearing lulus and a ton of makeup for the hot bods to oogle.
The last couple of days i notice that this guy, who is very attractive probably early to mid 30s, Is always there at the same time as me. He stares at me and uses machines close to mine. I smile and go about my business, He has been going there since I started and never gave me the time of day before, when I would maybe see him once a week. Now I just feel like he's taking notice because i've dropped some weight. Should i be flattered or am i right to be a little preturbed by this new found attention?
Maybe those are just the machines he wants to use and if you're noticing him looking at you maybe he is wondering the same thing as to why you are looking at him.0 -
I would just walk up to him and say "Dude, are you admiring my weight loss, wanting to go out with me, stalking me, or just waiting for my machine..." :-) Have fun with it, it will come with the territory. The more confidence men see in you, the more attractive you will be to them.0
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So we tell ourselves and tell each other that we want to lose weight at least partially to look better. So why do we get all butthurt when we look better, and other people notice we look better, and respond accordingly?
If this isn't someone you've actually had a conversation with, it's just someone that you've noticed has started making oogly eyes at you, then take it as a compliment. It isn't like he knows you personally, and didn't like you.
Might be the simple truth, with a bit of weight gone and determination showing, he finds you more attractive.0
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