Kissing issue

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Chari_Jan
Chari_Jan Posts: 161 Member
in Chit-Chat
Ok....my boyfriend is not big on kissing. He will if I ask but it always seems like a chore for him. We have talked about it a little and he says it's just not something he really likes and it's no big deal for him. I just don't get it!! How can you not like kissing??!!

Does anyone else have a BF/GF or spouse that is this way? And if so, how do you deal with it.
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Replies

  • SoDamnHungry
    SoDamnHungry Posts: 6,998 Member
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    I'm not that wild about kissing. But I kiss my boyfriend because he likes it a lot. So... I guess you need to see if you can get your boyfriend to be a little more giving?
  • Chari_Jan
    Chari_Jan Posts: 161 Member
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    bump
  • chrissyw63
    chrissyw63 Posts: 147 Member
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    my husband isn't really an affectionate person AT ALL ... so hugs, kisses ... don't get much of them! when I complain about it he's like "you know I'm not an affectionate person!" ... drives me up a wall. I don't really know how I deal. I don't think I do! Haha I complain about it a lot. I guess its good there's other qualities about him that are awesome, so it's obviously not a deal breaker for me, just a bummer ... I wish I knew what to tell ya! Just know that you're def not alone on this one. some dudes just aren't into it, I guess.
  • ItsCasey
    ItsCasey Posts: 4,022 Member
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    I tend to think it's a red flag. I can't imagine not wanting to kiss someone you're attracted to and in love with. I can see not wanting to make out all the time, just for the sake of making out, but feeling like kissing your girlfriend is a chore? Doesn't sound good to me, especially if he knows it's important to you. Is he at least affectionate in other ways? Does he like hugging, cuddling, general physical contact?
  • TexasGirl_Amie
    TexasGirl_Amie Posts: 215
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    Single girl here, but my ex was like that. It was frustrating. No answers here, but I've been there.
  • ket_the_jet
    ket_the_jet Posts: 1,257 Member
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    I'm not a particularly affectionate person and I tend not to be amenable to public displays of affection. But this was the perfect spot to quote comedian Jim Jefferies on kissing:

    "Guys used to like kissing, then someone sucked our ****s. Why would I want to go to the playground when I've been to Disney World?!"

    Cheers.
    -wtk
  • TheRoadDog
    TheRoadDog Posts: 11,788 Member
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    I love to kiss. Luckily, so does my wife.
  • Chari_Jan
    Chari_Jan Posts: 161 Member
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    I tend to think it's a red flag. I can't imagine not wanting to kiss someone you're attracted to and in love with. I can see not wanting to make out all the time, just for the sake of making out, but feeling like kissing your girlfriend is a chore? Doesn't sound good to me, especially if he knows it's important to you. Is he at least affectionate in other ways? Does he like hugging, cuddling, general physical contact?

    He does good in general as far as affection goes. It's just the kissing issue. I feel the same way you do about making out just to make out. I love that!!!
  • Chari_Jan
    Chari_Jan Posts: 161 Member
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    I'm not a particularly affectionate person and I tend not to be amenable to public displays of affection. But this was the perfect spot to quote comedian Jim Jefferies on kissing:

    "Guys used to like kissing, then someone sucked our ****s. Why would I want to go to the playground when I've been to Disney World?!"

    Cheers.
    -wtk

    Now that's funny stuff!!! LOL He does love Disney World. ;)
  • spade117
    spade117 Posts: 2,466 Member
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    I love me some kissing. I have always enjoyed it.
  • Chairless
    Chairless Posts: 588 Member
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    kissing is nice but when a lady wants to "make out" or whatever for hours like a horny teenager it does genuinely grate on me.
  • scapez
    scapez Posts: 2,018 Member
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    I love me some kissing. I have always enjoyed it.
    ^ This and I could never be with someone that didn't love kissing me as much as I loved kissing them.
  • HMD7703
    HMD7703 Posts: 761 Member
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    I am so into kissing. I could never imagine spending my life not kissing. Yet oddly, I end up with non-kissers.

    I don't think it is a big deal, but you do have to adjust. Even for someone that loves to kiss passionately, if you haven't had it in a while, you just forget about it. Sigh.
  • karmaticgeek
    karmaticgeek Posts: 108
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    In my case, the low frequency of kissing was merely a symptom of the major problems our relationship had. We split up.
  • felice03
    felice03 Posts: 2,732 Member
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    i love to kiss...my ex did not. I have decided I will never be with someone who doesn't like to kiss again.
  • legmotor
    legmotor Posts: 197 Member
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    I used to have this issue and how I dealt with it is I got a new girlfriend.

    Seriously, kissing is important for so many reasons. Life is too short to be with a bad kisser or someone you have to beg to kiss.
  • klhbekool
    klhbekool Posts: 15
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    Some people are just that way. You just have to wait and kiss them when they are willing--- long and slow make it last because you never know when you get the next one.
  • IpuffyheartHeelsinthegym
    IpuffyheartHeelsinthegym Posts: 5,573 Member
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    my husband isn't big on it, unless there is some whoopy going on... He's not not affectionate, he just doesn't like full on mouths open tongues hockey playing much, which makes me sad. So, no help here, either.
  • curiousmissclay
    curiousmissclay Posts: 72
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    I like a good kiss but I'm not big on the tongue sort of kissing ( i feel gross just saying that haha)
  • ZombieChaser
    ZombieChaser Posts: 1,555 Member
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    my husband isn't really an affectionate person AT ALL ... so hugs, kisses ... don't get much of them! when I complain about it he's like "you know I'm not an affectionate person!" ... drives me up a wall. I don't really know how I deal. I don't think I do! Haha I complain about it a lot. I guess its good there's other qualities about him that are awesome, so it's obviously not a deal breaker for me, just a bummer ... I wish I knew what to tell ya! Just know that you're def not alone on this one. some dudes just aren't into it, I guess.

    This is my situation too... and I'm a very affectionate person so it's difficult to show some restraint sometimes. I have spoken to BF about it, and like you, he said it just seemed so routine and it's loosing it's meaning...OUCH! So, I get my kisses in when I can, and try to gently remind him that he needs to show me more affection (not over the top, but *some*!).

    ...He's still in training... :)

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