hooking up on first date??

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  • _binary_jester_
    _binary_jester_ Posts: 2,132 Member
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    <snip>
    Actually according to most junior high and high school girls nowadays, anal is not sex either. So...there seems to be a good deal of leeway here.
    I actually might have attended high school back in the day if that opinion was prevalent.
  • SailingMike
    SailingMike Posts: 237 Member
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    Honestly, I think it means he does not respect you. Do you really want a relationship BASED on sex or would you like a great friendship with your spouse where sex is the icing on the cake?
  • chrishgt4
    chrishgt4 Posts: 1,222 Member
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    The fact that women have to set rules shows that they think about it at least as much as men. At least we are honest about our intentions.

    By making someone wait a long time you are making sex out to be some grand prize, which to me makes someone more likely to stick it out till they get what they want then drop you.

    To me, setting a rule of a certain amount of dates is stupid. Like you take some arbitrary number and go with it rather than how you feel about each other. Some of my longest/best relationships have started with first date sex. Some have started with first night sex. I don't judge someone on how quickly we had sex, I judge them on what I think of them as a person.

    If anything - having a connection that leads to you both wanting sex straight away is something that shouldn't be overlooked. That fire can be the basis for great relationships.
  • grinch031
    grinch031 Posts: 1,679
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    If you want a relationship with this guy then don't give him everything on the first date!

    Agree i find when you give it all up the first night what is there to look forward too. Unless he sees his life with you that fast he will move on and you got played.

    What is there to look forward to after waiting 3 months...then what?? Or what is there to look forward to after you do it upon marriage? Either way, withholding it to have something to look forward to isn't really sound logic because eventually that moment will come where there is nothing left to look forward to.

    Its one thing to take it slow as to give yourself time to determine what your partner is trying to get out of the relationship before taking the plunge. But with both parties honest about their intentions and expectations within the relationship, then it works out best for people finding the partner most suitable for them, regardless of when that particular moment happens.
  • SwannySez
    SwannySez Posts: 5,864 Member
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    <snip>
    Actually according to most junior high and high school girls nowadays, anal is not sex either. So...there seems to be a good deal of leeway here.
    I actually might have attended high school back in the day if that opinion was prevalent.

    The David Wooderson on my shoulder whispers in my ear, "Man, I toooooold you not to get outta teachin'."
  • Tiggerrick
    Tiggerrick Posts: 1,078 Member
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    Where does everyone stand on handjobs?

    Totally not sex. Neither is oral. Unless it involves salad tossing. Actually according to most junior high and high school girls nowadays, anal is not sex either. So...there seems to be a good deal of leeway here.
    Do THEY wait till the third date?
  • lvpthemvp
    lvpthemvp Posts: 266 Member
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    Hooking up on the first date is not a date but a booty call. if wanting to have sex is a good idea on the 1st date due to mutual attraction then it will be a good idea in the future. The key to me seems to be making sure we date what we are looking for. I f we are looking for long standing relationships then we need to date mates who are looking for the same. If we are looking for quick physical relationships- then we should pick mates who are looking for the same. I think the confusion starts and people get hurt when the transparency is missing and one side is looking for love and the other side is looking for sports sex.
  • SailingMike
    SailingMike Posts: 237 Member
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    Where does everyone stand on handjobs?

    Totally not sex. Neither is oral. Unless it involves salad tossing. Actually according to most junior high and high school girls nowadays, anal is not sex either. So...there seems to be a good deal of leeway here.

    OH, yes! We should all take sex advice from 14 year olds.... ummm how dumb is that?
  • chrishgt4
    chrishgt4 Posts: 1,222 Member
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    Honestly, I think it means he does not respect you. Do you really want a relationship BASED on sex or would you like a great friendship with your spouse where sex is the icing on the cake?

    A relationship that starts by denial of sex makes sex the target, surely?

    That isn't to say that you should have sex if you don't want to, but if you want to but feel you 'shouldn't' then I'd say it is making sex the focus of the relationship.

    I'm assuming the guy tried, got knocked back and accepted it and didn't force himself upon her.

    What is wrong with that? Just because his rules are different to hers is not a reason to dismiss someone.

    What if someone thinks that people should wait til the 6th date before they can kiss. On date 2 the guy goes in for a kiss. Should he be rejected for trying?
  • Aperture_Science
    Aperture_Science Posts: 840 Member
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    Where does everyone stand on handjobs?

    they make my arm ache

    You need to lift heavy and up your protein intake.
  • _binary_jester_
    _binary_jester_ Posts: 2,132 Member
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    In total disclosure...if I had dated more ladies that gave it up on the first date, i would have have had nearly as many 2nd dates as I did.
  • SwannySez
    SwannySez Posts: 5,864 Member
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    Where does everyone stand on handjobs?

    Totally not sex. Neither is oral. Unless it involves salad tossing. Actually according to most junior high and high school girls nowadays, anal is not sex either. So...there seems to be a good deal of leeway here.
    Do THEY wait till the third date?

    The term date has been deemed antiquated by today's youth and the term of favor is "non-specific shared activity." And no, those dirty little minxes are like bunnies. Bunnies, I tell you!
  • slay0r
    slay0r Posts: 669 Member
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    Had sex on the first date, was never that great to be honest but the following times were! I don't think It's ever turned out to be just a one night stand after that first night but that might just be me ;)

    I did the whole waiting thing, really bad idea. I waited over a year, we did it a couple of times and I realised there and then it just wouldn't work.. I'd rather have the chemistry all there from day 1 where you can't stay apart from each other.
  • TiredOfBeingFAT130
    TiredOfBeingFAT130 Posts: 46
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    I don't think it says anything. I have been with people for a while without having sex at all. I had sex with my husband on our first date. I think it depends a lot on the connection to be honest with you.
  • DavetheHYNIC
    DavetheHYNIC Posts: 318 Member
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    I had sex with my ex wife on our first date and we stayed together 10 years. Remember there are really only two men : the one who takes you seriously and wants to sleep with you and the one who doesn't take you seriously and wants to sleep with you. Do what makes you comfortable but remember everyone passes judgment
  • Skeels
    Skeels Posts: 929 Member
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    Sometimes you are so attracted to the other person that you have to your freak on during the first date......of course that has always involved Jaeger Bombs prior to the fun!!!
  • Alex_is_Hawks
    Alex_is_Hawks Posts: 3,499 Member
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    What I usually like to do is date someone for at least 90 days, build an intense emotional connection and then find out the sex is horrible and then kick them to the curb.

    Bwahahaahaha....yeah...i just love it when this happens...
  • rthompson81
    rthompson81 Posts: 305 Member
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    So what y'all are saying is that I should try to sack the chick on the first date? I don't think I could do that! Feels so cheap.

    Maybe it feels cheap because you're using the words (and mentality of) "sack the chick." No?
  • Alex_is_Hawks
    Alex_is_Hawks Posts: 3,499 Member
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    <snip>
    Actually according to most junior high and high school girls nowadays, anal is not sex either. So...there seems to be a good deal of leeway here.
    I actually might have attended high school back in the day if that opinion was prevalent.

    Maybe you missed the memo?
  • rml_16
    rml_16 Posts: 16,414 Member
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    Where does everyone stand on handjobs?

    Totally not sex. Neither is oral. Unless it involves salad tossing. Actually according to most junior high and high school girls nowadays, anal is not sex either. So...there seems to be a good deal of leeway here.

    OH, yes! We should all take sex advice from 14 year olds.... ummm how dumb is that?

    Because that was a totally serious post and stuff.

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