Women who don't accept male friend requests

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  • Rachel5K
    Rachel5K Posts: 48 Member
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    "Out of respect for my husband/boyfriend/SO?"

    Seriously?

    I don't know about the rest of you, but my husband isn't a narrow-minded, self-centered, controlling man who would be offended or hurt if I were to have male friends on an internet forum. Most of my RL friends are men, and he has no problem with it in the least.

    It's called being comfortable and secure in one's relationship. Try it sometimes...

    Definitely no offense intended here, but you have to keep in mind that every situation is different. Just because someone is uncomfortable with his significant other having numerous male friends does not mean that he is self-centered, narrow-minded, or controlling. Wounded from before, maybe. Before I try to judge anyone for their opinions, I first try to examine their background for a better understanding as to why they feel that way. :)
  • Roni_M
    Roni_M Posts: 717 Member
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    Well a few things to notice, yes guys on here are going to have majority of their friends be female, I'd venture to bet the active people on this site are at least 60%+ Female ... And quite honestly just personal preference, but I prefer talking to girls over guys for the most part. Conversations and support tend to be deeper than "good job brah!" from some muscle head.

    This whole stigma works both ways. I get friend requests everyday from girls I've never talked to/helped, aren't even close to my age, don't live near me, don't send a message or bother acting like they have anything in common and it doesn't bother me. I've even gotten them from girls who have the "I don't friend guys" in their profiles .... tell me how that works...

    To the girls getting unwanted harrassment, check your profile pic, what you say in posts and overall how you present yourself to the community. I'd imagine a lot could be avoided by not having a profile full of scantily clad photos, what kind of attention did you think you were going to get?

    I have to agree with this! I don't care if it's a guy or a girl... if the profile pic is scantily clad with no face i decline. I also delete people who switch to this type of profile picture. I just don't want to look at some girls breasts or some guys abs in my news feed everyday and i'm pretty sure we don't have the same goals anyways.
  • amymarie8709
    amymarie8709 Posts: 329 Member
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    [/quote]
    Haha!! This made me laugh out loud!! Seriously though, there has been talk of harassment on here and I think it puts some women off for good. I can understand that, I have zero tolerance for it. Having said that, some of my best friends on here and my favourite sources of information, and my biggest cheerleaders are the male friends on here... I've been treated with nothing but respect on here by the guys... and the girls aren't so bad either :laugh:
    [/quote]

    ^^^this.
    I have some AMAZING supportive males friends. And sometimes I feel like they can be more supportive than some of my female friends. No offense! I have the BEST friends on here!!! ALL OF YOU!!!!
  • losethatshit
    losethatshit Posts: 22
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    Umm. If your spouse is uncomfortable with you being fake online friends with a guy in an attempt to help gain an honest support community then he might have some issues. Does he check your phone, have your facebook password, and control who you see as well?

    That's some crazy stuff. Sure you'll have a <5% of them that are creeps but in all fairness there are plenty of creepy ladies that hit up guys too, I seriously doubt statistically speaking there's much of a difference between the sexes in this aspect. You just ignore it and dont accept the request. Most men, like women, are pretty harmless and we all have one goal in common, losing weight. Just seems plain creepy to me, reaks of trust and control issues.
  • zippo32
    zippo32 Posts: 1,419 Member
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    I was curious about this but I do not have time to read this thread right now.
    Supportive Z.
  • SpunkyTracyLynn
    SpunkyTracyLynn Posts: 26
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    I had male friends and my husband wasn't comfortable with this so I had to delete them. I have to respect his wishes.
  • Crying_In_Color
    Crying_In_Color Posts: 246 Member
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    I've heard that it has a lot to do with those few creepy guys on the site who do hit on girls. I personally add everybody who sends me a request at first and if I don't "like" them I will simply delete them.
  • butterflyliz32
    butterflyliz32 Posts: 124 Member
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    I guess I don't really pay much attention to whether my friends are male or female on here. Nor do I start deleting people if I don't like what they are eating, or if they don't post within a certain timeframe or whatever. I find that way harsh! I am personally here for my own journey and not to harass or annoy others. I mostly used the site to track my calories, but have found my way to the boards for motivation or when I am just plain bored at work (like now). Keeps me from snacking LOL

    If you are looking for someone who will be supportive when you need it, or will leave you the hell alone if you have a Thin Mint attack, please feel free to add me. If you are creepy, I will delete you.

    PS - I am married, and my husband uses the MFP app to track his food/weight but doesn't participate on the site otherwise, and I think me, my dad and my sister are his only friends. He wouldn't give two figs about me being friends with men online, as 98% of his friends IRL are women (he's the sweet, friend guy every girl loves to have).
  • Crying_In_Color
    Crying_In_Color Posts: 246 Member
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    Umm. If your spouse is uncomfortable with you being fake online friends with a guy in an attempt to help gain an honest support community then he might have some issues. Does he check your phone, have your facebook password, and control who you see as well?

    That's some crazy stuff. Sure you'll have a <5% of them that are creeps but in all fairness there are plenty of creepy ladies that hit up guys too. It's human nature and you just ignore it and dont accept the request. Most men, like women, are pretty harmless and we all have one goal in common, losing weight. Just seems plain creepy to me, reaks of trust and control issues.

    Agreed. A spouse like that has some very deep insecurities along with a lack of trust for their partner. Honestly, I'd laugh in my husband's face if he told me I couldn't be friends with somebody for any particular reason. I'm an individual I don't obey anyone.
  • PitBullMom_Liz
    PitBullMom_Liz Posts: 339 Member
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    Should I be offended that I haven't gotten any creeper messages or offers of "bits" pics? *sigh*

    I generally prefer male friends as many of them have the twisted sense of humor that I appreciate.
  • williamsonday
    williamsonday Posts: 11 Member
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    I get the fact that sometimes women just want to hang out with women. And men with men. And so long as it is not being used to deny anyone equal opportunity, it is fine with me.

    I think that in much of the world and most times in the past, the idea that women would become friends with men based on unsolicited long distance self-introductions from complete strangers might seem a little surprising. It's a measure of progress, in my opinion, that women are free to do so, or not, as they choose, just like men.

    We seem to forget sometimes, how recent a phenomenon this "Brave New World" of social networking is. It is clear to me that that we have yet to work out the etiquette in a way that both allows beneficial mutual interaction and puts limits on inappropriate behavior.
  • MFPAddict
    MFPAddict Posts: 2,303 Member
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    Should I be offended that I haven't gotten any creeper messages or offers of "bits" pics? *sigh*

    I generally prefer male friends as many of them have the twisted sense of humor that I appreciate.

    Sorry. There were too many complaints about unsolicited bits pics, so I just created a thread and posted mine.

    http://www.myfitnesspal.com/topics/show/542370-ladies-wanna-see-my-bits
  • PitBullMom_Liz
    PitBullMom_Liz Posts: 339 Member
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    Sorry. There were too many complaints about unsolicited bits pics, so I just created a thread and posted mine.

    http://www.myfitnesspal.com/topics/show/542370-ladies-wanna-see-my-bits

    Lovely, thank you! Nice bits. ;-)
  • NakedLunchTime
    NakedLunchTime Posts: 559
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    I love when women state they don't like accepting requests from males with females only on their lists. They are allowed to prefer female friends but I'm not? :laugh:

    My list doesn't have a single male on it and that is how it will stay. Do I have some pretty hot women on my list? Absolutely! However, if they were not focuses on their fitness and supportive of mine, they wouldn't be on my list.

    I remember when you first started on MFP..you said you were a girl and you only had LL Cool J as your pic because you thought he was hot, so this is a very strange thing that you are saying you are male now. Weird.
  • Phoenix59
    Phoenix59 Posts: 364 Member
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    I can see why some women won't accept male friends out of respect for their relationships...could be Scriptural or just an understanding between couples. Does it matter?

    My husband has no issue with me having male friends, online or IRL, so I wouldn't mind having a few male friends. Right now, I only have two friends on MFP, both female. I won't reject a request based on gender and I highly doubt I'll get creepers...nobody wants to see old lady progress pic (once I decide to post them!).:laugh:
  • MFPAddict
    MFPAddict Posts: 2,303 Member
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    I love when women state they don't like accepting requests from males with females only on their lists. They are allowed to prefer female friends but I'm not? :laugh:

    My list doesn't have a single male on it and that is how it will stay. Do I have some pretty hot women on my list? Absolutely! However, if they were not focuses on their fitness and supportive of mine, they wouldn't be on my list.

    I remember when you first started on MFP..you said you were a girl and you only had LL Cool J as your pic because you thought he was hot, so this is a very strange thing that you are saying you are male now. Weird.

    YOU CLEARLY HAVE ME MISTAKEN WITH SOMEONE ELSE!!!!

    I have been on MFP for over a year and have had kick *kitten* success losing weight. I HAVE NEVER HAD AN ACCOUNT WHERE I PORTRAYED MYSELF AS A WOMAN.
  • MFPAddict
    MFPAddict Posts: 2,303 Member
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    I love when women state they don't like accepting requests from males with females only on their lists. They are allowed to prefer female friends but I'm not? :laugh:

    My list doesn't have a single male on it and that is how it will stay. Do I have some pretty hot women on my list? Absolutely! However, if they were not focuses on their fitness and supportive of mine, they wouldn't be on my list.

    I remember when you first started on MFP..you said you were a girl and you only had LL Cool J as your pic because you thought he was hot, so this is a very strange thing that you are saying you are male now. Weird.

    And I didn't start using LL Cool J as my profile picture until after I lost my 60+ lbs and wanted to start focusing on my abs. Considering I have been on here for over a year, you are clearly mistaken and owe me an apology!
  • amymckmuffin
    amymckmuffin Posts: 28
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    Hmmm.

    I dont think it matters male or female. This is a place people come to for support and motivation, who has what body parts doesnt really change that for me. I always did get on with guys more than gals but not because i chose to, its just nice to know people going through the same struggles.
  • Tiff587
    Tiff587 Posts: 264 Member
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    I love when women state they don't like accepting requests from males with females only on their lists. They are allowed to prefer female friends but I'm not? :laugh:

    My list doesn't have a single male on it and that is how it will stay. Do I have some pretty hot women on my list? Absolutely! However, if they were not focuses on their fitness and supportive of mine, they wouldn't be on my list.

    I remember when you first started on MFP..you said you were a girl and you only had LL Cool J as your pic because you thought he was hot, so this is a very strange thing that you are saying you are male now. Weird.

    YOU CLEARLY HAVE ME MISTAKEN WITH SOMEONE ELSE!!!!

    I have been on MFP for over a year and have had kick *kitten* success losing weight. I HAVE NEVER HAD AN ACCOUNT WHERE I PORTRAYED MYSELF AS A WOMAN.

    I have MFPaddict as a friend, he has always stated he is a guy, he has been nothing but helpful and supportive!

    :flowerforyou:

    He is a really nice genuine guy! He has had amazing success with his weight and is here for that reason!

    I think you have the wrong person, I have seen a few people use LLCool as profile, and lost of people have some ref to MFP in name.
  • Hellbent_Heidi
    Hellbent_Heidi Posts: 3,669 Member
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    I love when women state they don't like accepting requests from males with females only on their lists. They are allowed to prefer female friends but I'm not? :laugh:

    My list doesn't have a single male on it and that is how it will stay. Do I have some pretty hot women on my list? Absolutely! However, if they were not focuses on their fitness and supportive of mine, they wouldn't be on my list.

    I remember when you first started on MFP..you said you were a girl and you only had LL Cool J as your pic because you thought he was hot, so this is a very strange thing that you are saying you are male now. Weird.

    YOU CLEARLY HAVE ME MISTAKEN WITH SOMEONE ELSE!!!!

    I have been on MFP for over a year and have had kick *kitten* success losing weight. I HAVE NEVER HAD AN ACCOUNT WHERE I PORTRAYED MYSELF AS A WOMAN.

    I have MFPaddict as a friend, he has always stated he is a guy, he has been nothing but helpful and supportive!

    :flowerforyou:

    He is a really nice genuine guy! He has had amazing success with his weight and is here for that reason!

    I think you have the wrong person, I have seen a few people use LLCool as profile, and lost of people have some ref to MFP in name.

    Yeah, same here...he was one of my first friends on here from right around the time he joined, and has never respresented himself as a woman. I think you're confusing him with someone else.....

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