Favorite CLEAN jokes?
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My all time favorite stupid/clean joke...
What kind of cheese isn't yours?
Nacho cheese!0 -
This is my husbands favorite joke of all time...
Two camels walking through the desert. One looks at the other and says " I don't care what people say, I'm thirsty!!"0 -
Shortly after a British Airways flight had reached its
cruising altitude, the Captain announced:
'Ladies and Gentlemen, this is your Captain.
Welcome to Flight 293, non-stop from London Heathrow to
Toronto . The weather ahead is good, so we should have a smooth,
uneventful flight. So sit back, relax and... OH, MY GOD!'
Silence followed!
Some moments later the Captain came back on the PA;
'Ladies and gentlemen, I'm sorry if I scared you. While I was talking to
you, a flight attendant accidentally spilled a cup of hot coffee in my
lap. You should see the front of my pants!'
One Newfie passenger yelled,
'lord tunderen jezis, you should see the back of mine!0 -
Did you hear about the fire at the circus?
It was intense/in tents0 -
Why was Peter Plan always flying?
Because he can Never Land!0 -
There was a boy born in the states with no eyelids. Unfortunately, no surgeons knew what to do. They flew him over to Asia to get an emergency surgery. They ended up taking skin from his pecker and using it to create eyelids.
He'll be okay, he's just a little c*ckeyed.0 -
What do you call a boomerang that doesn't come back?
A stick
What's the name for the sex change operation going from a woman to a man?
An addadiktome
The surgery for the other diresction?
Lopitoffame0 -
2 potatoes are walking down the street, how do you know which is the prostitute?
The one with the sticker that says "Idaho"
Love it!0 -
How do you tell if a chromosome is male or female?
You pull down its genes.0 -
Mine:
Why do gorillas have big nostrils?
Because they have big fingers!
:laugh: :laugh:
JOKES ARE NOT FUNNY IF YOU HAVE TO EXPLAIN THEM! Stop explaining your jokes! lol They are funny!
Good one! :laugh:0 -
Do you know why a divorce is expensive???
Because it's worth it!0 -
Do you know why a divorce is expensive???
Because it's worth it!
:drinker: I hear that!0 -
*bumping to read later becasue My Co-Workers think I've gone insane from giggling*0
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this is not so clean but it cracked me the hell up!
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A family of tomatoes was walking down the street.. the baby tomato was constantly lagging behind at store windows. Daddy tomato was so mad he went back to baby tomato and squished him. and said..
That'll make you Ketchup (Catch up)
I laughed when the girl told that in Pulp Fiction0 -
LOL! Some of these are awesome! Others are even better!
Ok, I have a real childish one, but it makes me laugh every time.
A tribal chief goes in to see the doctor. He says, 'doctor, big chief no fart." The doctor prescribes him a pill and has him come back the next week.
The chief returns, "doctor, big chief still no fart." So the doctor gives him a bigger pill and has him come back the next week.
The chief continues to return saying "big chief still no fart." The doctor continues to give him larger and larger pills each week.
One week the chief's wife comes in to see the doctor. She says "doctor, big fart no chief!"0 -
A piece of string walks into a bar and orders a beer...
The bartender throws the string out saying; "We don't serve strings here!"
The string thinks for a minute, ties itself in a knot and teases it's ends and walks back into the bar and orders a beer.
The bartender says: "Hey, aren't you that string I just threw out of here?"
String replies: " Nope, I'm a frayed knot!"0 -
Some of these are so funny :laugh:0
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LOL! Some of these are awesome! Others are even better!
Ok, I have a real childish one, but it makes me laugh every time.
A tribal chief goes in to see the doctor. He says, 'doctor, big chief no fart." The doctor prescribes him a pill and has him come back the next week.
The chief returns, "doctor, big chief still no fart." So the doctor gives him a bigger pill and has him come back the next week.
The chief continues to return saying "big chief still no fart." The doctor continues to give him larger and larger pills each week.
One week the chief's wife comes in to see the doctor. She says "doctor, big fart no chief!"
That just killed me, I can't breathe hahahahah :laugh: :laugh: :laugh: :laugh:0 -
LOL! Some of these are awesome! Others are even better!
Ok, I have a real childish one, but it makes me laugh every time.
A tribal chief goes in to see the doctor. He says, 'doctor, big chief no fart." The doctor prescribes him a pill and has him come back the next week.
The chief returns, "doctor, big chief still no fart." So the doctor gives him a bigger pill and has him come back the next week.
The chief continues to return saying "big chief still no fart." The doctor continues to give him larger and larger pills each week.
One week the chief's wife comes in to see the doctor. She says "doctor, big fart no chief!"
That just killed me, I can't breathe hahahahah :laugh: :laugh: :laugh: :laugh:
*scratches head* I don't get it.0
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