Ladies - Would you date someone who is divorced?

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Replies

  • Flippiefloppies
    Flippiefloppies Posts: 319
    My boyfriend is divorced. He did what he thought was the right thing and married a girl that he got pregnant. They were dating at the time. It just did not work out. They are still on very good terms and I actually get along wonderfully with her. She states often that she is very happy that he has found someone she likes to help raise her child. We actually talk and email alot. Alot people would say that it is weird but I wouldn't want it any other way. She just recently remarried and had her second child. We took her and my boyfriends son to see the new baby the day after delivery and hung out awhile with them. I would say that yea it is not for everyone but in my case it has worked out wonderfully for me and I would not change a thing.
  • Runthismom
    Runthismom Posts: 49
    When I started dating by BF of nearly 3 years, he told me right away. They weren't happy, and she chose not to make any effort to continue the relationship. It ended, and then a few years later he met me. We have been together longer than they were, including the marriage. He also told me right away that he had no interest in going down that road again for quite some time. While some date to get married, I dated to find my partner, my soulmate...and I had no problem waiting until he was ready. Divorce is a hard thing for people to go through, and I don't think that it should be something that is a deal-breaker. If, however, children are involved...that is a different story. You have to be ready for the whole she-bang at that point.
  • whoiskat23
    whoiskat23 Posts: 103 Member
    Divorce isn't a deal breaker for me. I'd have a few questions, but I have those for any one i'm considering dating. I think there are other things to worry about besides him being "divorced".
  • Lift_This_
    Lift_This_ Posts: 2,756 Member
    Yeah...why not. I see nothing wrong with dating a divorced person.
  • Jlfisch
    Jlfisch Posts: 27
    If I were single and not married I wouldn't hold it against a person if they were divorced. The only thing I wouldn't stand for is someone that lies, steals, refuses to work, or cheats. If they were divorced for any of these reasons then no I wouldn't be interested.
  • ForeverIrish
    ForeverIrish Posts: 227 Member
    I am divorced. My significant other is divorced. He was married to someone that used him as an ATM. The only difference is that an ATM gets serviced occasionally.

    Let me make one thing perfectly clear: I am the happiest divorced person on this planet. I was married to someone that drank every penny we made, never came home, and disregarded my feelings completely. When he did come home, I was awakened to the surprise of hot, alcohol-drenched vomit splashing on me while I tried to sleep. This happened more than once. Yes, I am divorced. And for 19 years, NOBODY has ever puked on me while sleeping.

    I am in no way, shape or form, perfect. I have plenty of faults. I can't balance a checkbook, I am NOT "Minnesota Nice," and you will always know exactly where you stand with me because I will tell you. I will always be there for my friends and family, I will always root for the underdog, and I will always treat people with dignity and respect and help those that need it.

    My significant other recognizes both my good and my challenging qualities. He loves me for both. I would hate to think that we would have missed out on the relationship of our lives because one of us was narrow minded enough to discount the other because of a miserable first marriage.

    If someone won't give you the time of day because you are divorced, you don't need a judgemental person like that in your life.

    --Just my two cents.
  • Carl01
    Carl01 Posts: 9,307 Member
    A lady...sure!

    A guy...nah.
  • Dohrnl
    Dohrnl Posts: 43 Member
    I definitely would. I think that sometimes we think we know what we want and make choices based on that. Don't get discouraged. Someone is out there for you and if they have the problem that you are divorced then they aren't for you!
  • Kaimana94
    Kaimana94 Posts: 165 Member
    No.

    Because I date to get married, and I am not promising "till death" to someone who has already illustrated that marraige doesn't mean that.

    As a new divorcee (20 Mar 2012) I would like to say. I was not the one that asked or wanted the divorce. I really did mean my vows. Not that I'm ready to date just yet.
  • j4nash
    j4nash Posts: 1,719 Member
    No.

    Because I date to get married, and I am not promising "till death" to someone who has already illustrated that marraige doesn't mean that.

    As a new divorcee (20 Mar 2012) I would like to say. I was not the one that asked or wanted the divorce. I really did mean my vows. Not that I'm ready to date just yet.

    Same here.
  • HelloSweetie4
    HelloSweetie4 Posts: 1,214 Member
    If i were single, then yeah probably (everyone deserves a chance). The only way I wouldn't date someone who is divorced is if they bad mouth their ex all the time or they've had a lot of divorces.
  • jsapninz
    jsapninz Posts: 909 Member
    No.

    Because I date to get married, and I am not promising "till death" to someone who has already illustrated that marraige doesn't mean that.

    Sometimes there are circumstances that warrant a divorce or make it inevitable.

    "Circumstancs" is not 'till death, now is it?

    I know people who got divorced because their spouse was abusing them. Cheated on them (and in one case gave them an STI). frauded them. turned out to be gay... seriously, there are a lot of reasons why people get divorced and not all of them are issues that can be 'worked through'.

    I am not saying one shouldn't get divorced (or, preferrably annulled) in some of the extreme circumstances. I am saying I wouldn't get remarried after going through that, because obviously I didn't do a good job of picking the first time.
  • Laurej
    Laurej Posts: 227
    Well no, my husband would hardly approve. But if I were single? Sure. Extra points if the person could be civil to the ex.

    Hahahah too cute... and ditto
  • whitetiger011680
    whitetiger011680 Posts: 218 Member
    Yes I would. I almost even prefer it because they are more understanding of the fact that I still have contact with my ex for our kids.
  • felice03
    felice03 Posts: 2,644 Member
    As long as the individual has learned from the reasons why their marriage failed then yes. Plus, as a soon to be divorced woman I would hate being judged bc of that.
  • jforferris01
    jforferris01 Posts: 71 Member
    Of course. Life doesnt end just because you couldnt get along with someone, if that was the case we would never leave our houses and get out and live. O yeah and I am with the girl that says no to someone who has been divorced twice...thats a big fat clue.....
  • esphixiet
    esphixiet Posts: 214 Member
    My partner is divorced. It helps that they divorced about 15 years ago and there were no kids in the mix.
    But I suspect the divorce is a partial explanation of why we're not married yet.
  • Elona_30
    Elona_30 Posts: 66
    just because your divorced does not mean that you were not in it for life, the other person might have been the one to end it, things happen that just can not be put in the past, now I was not married but in a common law relationship for 10 years he had 3 children and we had a little girl 4 years ago and because of things he did I could not stay in the relstionship, there was nothing left of what once had been, to stay would be lying to myself and would have hurt my little girl, life is way better now that Im on my own and Im now with someone that has never been married and has no children of his own but he is a better Daddy then her father could ever be to her. I was not looking for anything when he fell into my lap and I thank God for him everyday. life is to short to be that picky, an you may be missing out on something that could be just what you have always wanted.
    You never know what or who is around the next corner always have an open mind :happy:
  • Jules2Be
    Jules2Be Posts: 2,238 Member
    I am divorced. My significant other is divorced. He was married to someone that used him as an ATM. The only difference is that an ATM gets serviced occasionally.

    Let me make one thing perfectly clear: I am the happiest divorced person on this planet. I was married to someone that drank every penny we made, never came home, and disregarded my feelings completely. When he did come home, I was awakened to the surprise of hot, alcohol-drenched vomit splashing on me while I tried to sleep. This happened more than once. Yes, I am divorced. And for 19 years, NOBODY has ever puked on me while sleeping.

    I am in no way, shape or form, perfect. I have plenty of faults. I can't balance a checkbook, I am NOT "Minnesota Nice," and you will always know exactly where you stand with me because I will tell you. I will always be there for my friends and family, I will always root for the underdog, and I will always treat people with dignity and respect and help those that need it.

    My significant other recognizes both my good and my challenging qualities. He loves me for both. I would hate to think that we would have missed out on the relationship of our lives because one of us was narrow minded enough to discount the other because of a miserable first marriage.

    If someone won't give you the time of day because you are divorced, you don't need a judgemental person like that in your life.

    --Just my two cents.

    you rock
  • Tulipgirl1223
    Tulipgirl1223 Posts: 91 Member
    I would, BUT if they had kids, they would have to be in their kids lives, and civil to the ex (not BFF or anything but at least talk to them). If they had kids and didn't speak to them, no way (because what if we ended up having kids and split).
  • KristalDawnO
    KristalDawnO Posts: 154 Member
    Sure! People make mistakes, people fall in and out of love. My husband had been married/divorced when I met him. We've been together 10 years. Him having a previous marriage didn't have an impact on our relationship. Now, if he had been married multiple times/divorced - that would have been different. At least for me :)
  • dreawest
    dreawest Posts: 208 Member
    No.

    Because I date to get married, and I am not promising "till death" to someone who has already illustrated that marraige doesn't mean that.

    Sometimes there are circumstances that warrant a divorce or make it inevitable.

    "Circumstancs" is not 'till death, now is it?

    I know people who got divorced because their spouse was abusing them. Cheated on them (and in one case gave them an STI). frauded them. turned out to be gay... seriously, there are a lot of reasons why people get divorced and not all of them are issues that can be 'worked through'.

    I am not saying one shouldn't get divorced (or, preferrably annulled) in some of the extreme circumstances. I am saying I wouldn't get remarried after going through that, because obviously I didn't do a good job of picking the first time.
    So we only get one chance at happiness? Thats sad. My husband and I have been together 10 years and it was our first marriage for each of us and his first relationship due to religious beliefs but if things did fall apart I would hope we could both find happiness elsewhere. And certainly I have had family members who divorced and later found happiness. (And its not always poor choices, I knew a couple that fell apart after the death of a child, they were unable to grieve together properly and eventually the marriage collapsed to both of their sorrow and both went to each others second weddings happy for the other, they just couldn't escape the ghost when they were together).
  • saragato
    saragato Posts: 1,154
    I'm dating a guy who has a soon to be 8 year old son who he has to fight his really crazy ex for, so I guess that's close enough to him being divorced, just sans the legal crap.

    And not to get involved in the whole "I won't commit to someone who broke the sanctity of marriage already", but it's not always that simple. My mom divorced my dad because he was abusing her. She still loved my dad but she realized being with him was not healthy. Yeah not every divorce has a valid reason, but are they seriously an "undesirable" because of that? And no I'm not stomping on people's beliefs when it comes to marriage and what it entails, I'm just stating my opinion on it.
  • SerenaNatasha
    SerenaNatasha Posts: 246
    Sure! I'm currently engaged to be married to someone who's gone through a divorce...and...i love him to death.
  • Tulipgirl1223
    Tulipgirl1223 Posts: 91 Member
    My boyfriend is divorced. He did what he thought was the right thing and married a girl that he got pregnant. They were dating at the time. It just did not work out. They are still on very good terms and I actually get along wonderfully with her. She states often that she is very happy that he has found someone she likes to help raise her child. We actually talk and email alot. Alot people would say that it is weird but I wouldn't want it any other way. She just recently remarried and had her second child. We took her and my boyfriends son to see the new baby the day after delivery and hung out awhile with them. I would say that yea it is not for everyone but in my case it has worked out wonderfully for me and I would not change a thing.

    My ex and my DH have gone golfing before LOL
  • mbb0301
    mbb0301 Posts: 33
    No.

    Because I date to get married, and I am not promising "till death" to someone who has already illustrated that marraige doesn't mean that.


    Even if it wasn't their fault? My brother in law's wife just left him for another man and is now going through a divorce. Does that make him un-date-able? It wasn't his choice, he took his vows seriously, she didn't.

    I think you have quite a narrow minded view......
  • MsTanya77
    MsTanya77 Posts: 357 Member
    I sure would. At my age there is a great likelihood that someone who is also 34 has also been married before, so I sure would. I wouldn't want someone to blackball me if I'd had a failed marriage. The past is the past.
  • Bonita_Lynne_58
    Bonita_Lynne_58 Posts: 2,794 Member
    Yes... at this point in my life most men within 15yrs of my age have been married before.
  • NiceTee75
    NiceTee75 Posts: 24 Member
    I would....AS LONG AS the ex does not cause drama. I'm getting too old to deal with crazy chicks!!!!
  • raechellg
    raechellg Posts: 30 Member
    sadly, so many times the person u marry turns out to be someone totally different down the road. not saying you shouldn't try and love them but if they are not emotionally available eventually it will end. i married at 18 and realized that there were so many things my husband was hiding from me and we fought about that at 19 i was divorced.. i still get along with this person he just wasn't who i was meant to be with. my 2nd marriage was pretty much over at 3years and i tried to stick it out and make things work but finally gave up at 10years because i wanted to find happiness and be loved. not that i don't get along with him as a person again he just decided he wasn't going to be the loving emotionally supportive person i thought he was and then all those little things u end up fighting about turn huge.. i have currently been in a relationship for 3years to someone who has never been married but he knows that eventually (several years down the road) i would like to see our relationship turn into a marriage.. i decided that there was no way i was going to rush and going to be absolutely positive i knew the next person i married forward and backwards and all their habits and them know me this way as well before i ever said i do again. you can decide that you don't want to date a divorce'. but because this person has already been through this experience then they are more sure of what they want in a future relationship and usually have learned and grown from their past experience. hence you very may well pass up the person that would be the best thing for you. as long as their is a connection and no past history of abuse or drugs then why not give them a shot. you may decide that it was the best thing you ever did.

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