Ladies - Would you date someone who is divorced?

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Replies

  • BuffyEat2Live
    BuffyEat2Live Posts: 327 Member
    My boyfriend is divorced with two kids. We've been together for more than 4 years. I am so glad that I didn't let his past stop me from dating him, because he's amazing!
  • groovyfirechick
    groovyfirechick Posts: 188
    Here's my perspective being the one in the relationship who is the divorced one (4 years now). I have no kids and I was friends with my current bf when I was married (although he never met my ex). I personally would date and/or marry someone who was divorced and if they had kids we'd make it work. Having no kids has made it easier to date and if I did have kids I'd be wary of introducing them too early to a new bf. You have to examine how their relationship with their ex is (kids or not) and if they learned anything positive from the failed relationship so they don't make the same mistakes twice.
  • 1shauna1
    1shauna1 Posts: 993 Member
    Definitely. It shows he can commit (not saying to marriage again necessarily, but to a relationship of some sort).
  • LaMujerMasBonitaDelMundo
    LaMujerMasBonitaDelMundo Posts: 3,634 Member
    I had a boyfriend before who is divorced with one daughter. Even though I was raised in a conservative family, I didn't care. For me it doesn't matter as long as there is that spark and chemistry between the two of you.
  • shmunster
    shmunster Posts: 538 Member
    I married someone who was divorced no kids, and we now have a 2yo, he's an awesome husband, I always say its because he practised first and made the mistakes int he first marriage LOL
  • wccngr
    wccngr Posts: 36 Member
    Yes. Have dated several. Just because that particular relationship worked out, doesn't mean that yours won't work out. Each relationship is individual.
  • hesn92
    hesn92 Posts: 5,966 Member
    What I find amazing is how many women wouldn't date someone who has kids....

    But, would these women if they were single moms expect men to date them?

    everyone is allowed to have their preferences...
  • r1ghtpath
    r1ghtpath Posts: 701 Member
    because i am divorced with kids, i have found it easier and more comforting to date someone that is also divorced with kids.

    i was married at 24, had been together for 5 years. if i had been single and under 28, i don't know. i think it would depend on how interested i was in them as a person and potential partner. if i was really interested and attracted, probably :-)
  • rammsteinsoldier
    rammsteinsoldier Posts: 1,552 Member
    I don't see that as an issue. I am divorced so why would I expect him to never have been divorced.
  • katythemommy
    katythemommy Posts: 437 Member
    Yes, I would.
  • ElizaRoche
    ElizaRoche Posts: 2,005 Member
    yes I would... I actually did a few years ago.
  • susannamarie
    susannamarie Posts: 2,148 Member
    Yes.
  • ToEKnee213
    ToEKnee213 Posts: 1,031 Member
    I'm divorced...I have nothing against dating someone who is also divorced. It's hard to find someone my age who is not divorced.
  • 99Tinkerbell
    99Tinkerbell Posts: 384
    Yes... but it would depend on the circumstances of the divorce. It maybe that they weren't meant for each other, s*** happens!
  • meshashesha2012
    meshashesha2012 Posts: 8,329 Member
    as for women not dating men who have kids from a previous relationship, i'm guess that usually has more to do with not wanting to have to deal with the ex than not wanting to have to deal with the kids.
  • Gulzilly
    Gulzilly Posts: 238 Member
    I dated and married a divorcee.
  • cyberskirt
    cyberskirt Posts: 218
    What I find amazing is how many women wouldn't date someone who has kids....

    But, would these women if they were single moms expect men to date them?

    I wouldn't rule out a divorced man. If he had children, I would be a lot more hesitant, and that is largely because I don't actually want children. If I don't want children of my own why would I want someone else's? I'm not saying I would categorically rule that guy out but children bring a whole extra layer of complication, not the least of which would be having to deal with his ex. That may or may not be a problem but it would be a lot to take on.

    Oh! I wasn't referring to a woman who DIDN'T want children at all. but I read a few comments from people who stated that he couldn't have kids or women who already had children saying he could be divorced but couldn't have kids. But would these women who are single moms or if they became single moms then not date at all or expect no man to date them ever because they have children?

    I wondered if they had a double-standard.
  • prettygirlhoward
    prettygirlhoward Posts: 338 Member
    divorced and moved on YES separated and bitter NOPE

    -^^^^this!!
  • nroisland
    nroisland Posts: 254 Member
    I did and I married him a year after meeting.
  • cyberskirt
    cyberskirt Posts: 218
    What I find amazing is how many women wouldn't date someone who has kids....

    But, would these women if they were single moms expect men to date them?

    I wouldn't rule out a divorced man. If he had children, I would be a lot more hesitant, and that is largely because I don't actually want children. If I don't want children of my own why would I want someone else's? I'm not saying I would categorically rule that guy out but children bring a whole extra layer of complication, not the least of which would be having to deal with his ex. That may or may not be a problem but it would be a lot to take on.

    That's exactly the same thought I have. I don't want children either. I would be a lot more hesitant too. and Ex's can be a huge complication with that. I guess I would rather make sure it was the right person who made me feel the right things regardless of past relationships or 'baggage'...
  • naomi8888
    naomi8888 Posts: 519 Member
    When I was 21 my boyfriend was 31... my mother was shocked at the age difference, and said "What if you find out he's divorced or something??" And I said, "Um he is..." The worst part is that she had divorced and remarried a few years before.

    Hahaha I love it!!
  • Hickyvikki69
    Hickyvikki69 Posts: 371 Member
    someone divorced is still a human that deserves to be loved and not judged on their past...
  • giadatje
    giadatje Posts: 59
    It seems I'm one of the few that will say no. At the very beginning, especially at the first date, appearances count, at least for me. And a divorce or kids will not be appealing for me. On the same hand, I will not go out with a guy with a sloppy way to dress up or a not clean one. Or with a lower degree than me. Maybe my expectation are to high!
    Of course there are many circumstances why a person will divorce, and I'm sure you are a beautiful person, but I will not take the time to discover it.
    Sorry :noway:
  • terrazasmoni
    terrazasmoni Posts: 2
    yes!
  • JanieJack
    JanieJack Posts: 3,831 Member
    Absolutely. I'd more rather date someone who was divorced/widowed than who'd never been married.
  • MrsSamB
    MrsSamB Posts: 143 Member
    I know people who got divorced because their spouse was abusing them. Cheated on them (and in one case gave them an STI). frauded them. turned out to be gay... seriously, there are a lot of reasons why people get divorced and not all of them are issues that can be 'worked through'.

    I don't think those circumstances would qualify as "normal." I agree that marriage is for life. I think that marriage isn't something that should be done on a whim. I don't think that marriages should end on a whim, either. It would be wise for people to take time and careful consideration when choosing a husband or wife. Get some pre-marital counseling. Talk out the real issues before the issues slap you out of newly-wed wonderland. That's my two cents.
  • JanieJack
    JanieJack Posts: 3,831 Member
    I am not saying one shouldn't get divorced (or, preferrably annulled) in some of the extreme circumstances. I am saying I wouldn't get remarried after going through that, because obviously I didn't do a good job of picking the first time.
    So we only get one chance at happiness?

    Wow, even the Bible allows for remarriage
  • Bellum24
    Bellum24 Posts: 106 Member
    I don't know if it is really a choice you have, my fiance is divorced. Does that make things easy, not usually - she's a sick manipulative person, but does it interfere with my relationship or change how i think or feel about him, no....

    Don't let someone's past determine your future, you can't control what happened in their past so why punish yourself, or someone else for their mistakes.
  • blueeyedcristi
    blueeyedcristi Posts: 304 Member
    Right now? Nope....I'm married.
    If I were single? Hmmmm....I think it would depend on the reasons of divorce, etc. I don't think it would necessarily stop me though.
  • MindyBlack
    MindyBlack Posts: 954 Member
    No.

    Because I date to get married, and I am not promising "till death" to someone who has already illustrated that marraige doesn't mean that.

    Sometimes there are circumstances that warrant a divorce or make it inevitable.

    "Circumstancs" is not 'till death, now is it?

    I know people who got divorced because their spouse was abusing them. Cheated on them (and in one case gave them an STI). frauded them. turned out to be gay... seriously, there are a lot of reasons why people get divorced and not all of them are issues that can be 'worked through'.

    I am not saying one shouldn't get divorced (or, preferrably annulled) in some of the extreme circumstances. I am saying I wouldn't get remarried after going through that, because obviously I didn't do a good job of picking the first time.

    please tell us what it's like to live in a world with unicorns where people fart rainbows and gardens grow lollipops? it sounds so lovely. :huh:

    Dane, I think I love you!

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