Ladies - Would you date someone who is divorced?

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  • KristalDawnO
    KristalDawnO Posts: 154 Member
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    Sure! People make mistakes, people fall in and out of love. My husband had been married/divorced when I met him. We've been together 10 years. Him having a previous marriage didn't have an impact on our relationship. Now, if he had been married multiple times/divorced - that would have been different. At least for me :)
  • dreawest
    dreawest Posts: 208 Member
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    No.

    Because I date to get married, and I am not promising "till death" to someone who has already illustrated that marraige doesn't mean that.

    Sometimes there are circumstances that warrant a divorce or make it inevitable.

    "Circumstancs" is not 'till death, now is it?

    I know people who got divorced because their spouse was abusing them. Cheated on them (and in one case gave them an STI). frauded them. turned out to be gay... seriously, there are a lot of reasons why people get divorced and not all of them are issues that can be 'worked through'.

    I am not saying one shouldn't get divorced (or, preferrably annulled) in some of the extreme circumstances. I am saying I wouldn't get remarried after going through that, because obviously I didn't do a good job of picking the first time.
    So we only get one chance at happiness? Thats sad. My husband and I have been together 10 years and it was our first marriage for each of us and his first relationship due to religious beliefs but if things did fall apart I would hope we could both find happiness elsewhere. And certainly I have had family members who divorced and later found happiness. (And its not always poor choices, I knew a couple that fell apart after the death of a child, they were unable to grieve together properly and eventually the marriage collapsed to both of their sorrow and both went to each others second weddings happy for the other, they just couldn't escape the ghost when they were together).
  • saragato
    saragato Posts: 1,154
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    I'm dating a guy who has a soon to be 8 year old son who he has to fight his really crazy ex for, so I guess that's close enough to him being divorced, just sans the legal crap.

    And not to get involved in the whole "I won't commit to someone who broke the sanctity of marriage already", but it's not always that simple. My mom divorced my dad because he was abusing her. She still loved my dad but she realized being with him was not healthy. Yeah not every divorce has a valid reason, but are they seriously an "undesirable" because of that? And no I'm not stomping on people's beliefs when it comes to marriage and what it entails, I'm just stating my opinion on it.
  • SerenaNatasha
    SerenaNatasha Posts: 246
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    Sure! I'm currently engaged to be married to someone who's gone through a divorce...and...i love him to death.
  • Tulipgirl1223
    Tulipgirl1223 Posts: 91 Member
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    My boyfriend is divorced. He did what he thought was the right thing and married a girl that he got pregnant. They were dating at the time. It just did not work out. They are still on very good terms and I actually get along wonderfully with her. She states often that she is very happy that he has found someone she likes to help raise her child. We actually talk and email alot. Alot people would say that it is weird but I wouldn't want it any other way. She just recently remarried and had her second child. We took her and my boyfriends son to see the new baby the day after delivery and hung out awhile with them. I would say that yea it is not for everyone but in my case it has worked out wonderfully for me and I would not change a thing.

    My ex and my DH have gone golfing before LOL
  • mbb0301
    mbb0301 Posts: 33
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    No.

    Because I date to get married, and I am not promising "till death" to someone who has already illustrated that marraige doesn't mean that.


    Even if it wasn't their fault? My brother in law's wife just left him for another man and is now going through a divorce. Does that make him un-date-able? It wasn't his choice, he took his vows seriously, she didn't.

    I think you have quite a narrow minded view......
  • MsTanya77
    MsTanya77 Posts: 357 Member
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    I sure would. At my age there is a great likelihood that someone who is also 34 has also been married before, so I sure would. I wouldn't want someone to blackball me if I'd had a failed marriage. The past is the past.
  • Bonita_Lynne_58
    Bonita_Lynne_58 Posts: 2,845 Member
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    Yes... at this point in my life most men within 15yrs of my age have been married before.
  • NiceTee75
    NiceTee75 Posts: 24 Member
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    I would....AS LONG AS the ex does not cause drama. I'm getting too old to deal with crazy chicks!!!!
  • raechellg
    raechellg Posts: 30 Member
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    sadly, so many times the person u marry turns out to be someone totally different down the road. not saying you shouldn't try and love them but if they are not emotionally available eventually it will end. i married at 18 and realized that there were so many things my husband was hiding from me and we fought about that at 19 i was divorced.. i still get along with this person he just wasn't who i was meant to be with. my 2nd marriage was pretty much over at 3years and i tried to stick it out and make things work but finally gave up at 10years because i wanted to find happiness and be loved. not that i don't get along with him as a person again he just decided he wasn't going to be the loving emotionally supportive person i thought he was and then all those little things u end up fighting about turn huge.. i have currently been in a relationship for 3years to someone who has never been married but he knows that eventually (several years down the road) i would like to see our relationship turn into a marriage.. i decided that there was no way i was going to rush and going to be absolutely positive i knew the next person i married forward and backwards and all their habits and them know me this way as well before i ever said i do again. you can decide that you don't want to date a divorce'. but because this person has already been through this experience then they are more sure of what they want in a future relationship and usually have learned and grown from their past experience. hence you very may well pass up the person that would be the best thing for you. as long as their is a connection and no past history of abuse or drugs then why not give them a shot. you may decide that it was the best thing you ever did.
  • _snw_
    _snw_ Posts: 1,305 Member
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    depends on the circumstances of the divorce.

    i guess that means i wouldn't date an *kitten*. whether they were divorced or not doesn't really matter.
  • MindyBlack
    MindyBlack Posts: 954 Member
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    No.

    Because I date to get married, and I am not promising "till death" to someone who has already illustrated that marraige doesn't mean that.

    Sometimes there are circumstances that warrant a divorce or make it inevitable.

    "Circumstancs" is not 'till death, now is it?

    I know people who got divorced because their spouse was abusing them. Cheated on them (and in one case gave them an STI). frauded them. turned out to be gay... seriously, there are a lot of reasons why people get divorced and not all of them are issues that can be 'worked through'.

    I am not saying one shouldn't get divorced (or, preferrably annulled) in some of the extreme circumstances. I am saying I wouldn't get remarried after going through that, because obviously I didn't do a good job of picking the first time.

    I would be curious to see if your answer is the same 5, 10 or 20 years from now.
  • cyberskirt
    cyberskirt Posts: 218
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    No.

    Because I date to get married, and I am not promising "till death" to someone who has already illustrated that marraige doesn't mean that.

    Sometimes there are circumstances that warrant a divorce or make it inevitable.

    "Circumstancs" is not 'till death, now is it?

    I know people who got divorced because their spouse was abusing them. Cheated on them (and in one case gave them an STI). frauded them. turned out to be gay... seriously, there are a lot of reasons why people get divorced and not all of them are issues that can be 'worked through'.

    I am not saying one shouldn't get divorced (or, preferrably annulled) in some of the extreme circumstances. I am saying I wouldn't get remarried after going through that, because obviously I didn't do a good job of picking the first time.

    Okay, but the question wasn't would you get married again, it was would you date someone ELSE who had previously been married.

    You said first no, not at all because marriage should be until death. hence the questions about your answer.

    Would it be better to say your answer is no, even though divorce or annullement is warrented because the person made a poor choice in a spouse the first time.. aka trusted someone with their heart who in the end couldn't be trusted with it... they still can't be trusted to make good decisions?
  • LJ728
    LJ728 Posts: 52 Member
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    Sure! A lot of other factors play into that!
  • MindyBlack
    MindyBlack Posts: 954 Member
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    Of course I would, why not. I am divorced so I would be a hypocrite otherwise. Now someone who didn't pay child support when they were supposed to, that would be a big fat NO!
  • Pocket_Pixi
    Pocket_Pixi Posts: 1,167 Member
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    No.

    Because I date to get married, and I am not promising "till death" to someone who has already illustrated that marraige doesn't mean that.


    Promising "till death" to someone and then having the marriage end does not mean they didn't take that vow seriously. My mother was married to my biological father for 25 years, she tried to make their marriage work - she took her vows very seriously and she would still be with him had he not turned to drugs and started sleeping with prostitutes. There are a lot of things that make marriages fall apart. I think you are pretty narrow minded.

    To the OP, of course I would. I would probably ask a few questions to find out why they are divorced but really I wouldn't hold it over their head or anything. I know many fantastic people who got married young, or for the wrong reasons and they just couldn't make the marriage work.
  • dreawest
    dreawest Posts: 208 Member
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    depends on the circumstances of the divorce.

    i guess that means i wouldn't date an *kitten*. whether they were divorced or not doesn't really matter.
    Yes. Divorced or not I think its a good idea to know why past relationships failed. Divorce shouldn't be a deal breaker in and of itself. And at a certain age if a person has never managed to have a serious relationship that is more alarming.
  • Donnacoach
    Donnacoach Posts: 540 Member
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    Hell YES. I mean come on, YOU'RE DIVORCED NOT DEAD!!!"
  • 0AmyMarie0
    0AmyMarie0 Posts: 315
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    I don't see why not.
  • Tonnina
    Tonnina Posts: 979 Member
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    No but that's mostly because I'm already married and plan to be for the rest of my life. I suppose if I never had met my hubby, I'd still say no because I'm picky and would need to find someone who's a virgin like I would have been.

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