If you are an only child please open-quick question

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  • birdielosingit
    birdielosingit Posts: 34 Member
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    I am only child, and I love it!! There are times I wish that I had a sibling, but mostly I am glad that I don't.
  • dmoses
    dmoses Posts: 786 Member
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    I'm an only child, and, while I liked it as a kid sometimes, as an adult it is very frightening to know that I alone am responsible for taking care of my elderly parents. I also think that is one of the reasons why I am not a very social person now!

    Go on! Have another kid!!!
  • pregmeg119
    pregmeg119 Posts: 151 Member
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    Love your disclaimer :)

    I have one child - He's 5. There is very little chance of my ever having another. I say, if you can get knocked up and choose that route, better sooner than later? They'll already have a decent age gap, but doesn't mean they won't be awesome friends (especially as adults).

    Heck, go procreate! Or at least practice :)

    Thanks :) That's why I am starting to panic, I was actually preparing to get rid of all of our daughters old clothes and such and the commitment of not having these baby necessities scares me. Although, fiancee and I are both undecided and I feel like if we aren't 100% all about it, it's not a good idea.
  • DawnMarieMomofTwo
    DawnMarieMomofTwo Posts: 186 Member
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    i was an only child untill my mom remarried and had another child by this time it was to late because i was 17yrs old.. so i would say im an only child. or at least was most of my life and it was very lonely!!! i wished i had another sibling to play with!! right now i have 2 kids and boy im i glad because they both keep eachother busy even though my oldest is 4 1/2 and my youngest is 9mo they both ejoy eachother very much! and for you with a 6yr old at home she will be able to help you a TON with the baby!
  • Monicamarkt
    Monicamarkt Posts: 22 Member
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    I would have loved a sibling when I was a child but once I discovered not sharing and travelling a lot I loved being an only child. It does make it more difficult when you get married tho, especially if they have siblings and you have to share their time with others. You just don't get used to sharing and *can* be very selfish.
  • victoriaannewilliams
    victoriaannewilliams Posts: 64 Member
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    There were times I loved being an only child, but then there were times that I wish I had a sibling to play with. Plus, it also will help with your daughter not being selfish. As an only child I thought the world revolved around me, and that I was the best person on this planet lol. Now, having a daughter of my own I definitely want her to have siblings so she won't have that mindset.
  • tkcasta
    tkcasta Posts: 405 Member
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    Depends, as an only child who now has aging parents, it's really hard being alone - all the burden is mine, I have to make all the decisions and go through everything with them by myself (thank god for BFFs). Also, anytime there was anything going at home I had no one to share that with. I also wish I would have had someone to be with on vacations and things like that.

    However, you should only have another kid if you want one, not because your daughter wants one.

    Edit: I just wanted to add that I'm literally the last person in my family so if I don't have kids I'm going to go extinct, and I find that to be a lot of pressure.
  • auroranflash
    auroranflash Posts: 3,569 Member
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    I have a sister who is 7 years older. She took care of me and looked after me, and we had (in general) a fairly good relationship, but of course as she got into her pre-teens, she didn't want me bugging her so much. I still wanted to play imaginary games and she wanted to do anything else not involving me. Haha. But I was glad to have someone who could take me to the community swimming pool and go to the park with me. I think she even helped me develop my intellect because she was a little older and we would talk about things like science, biology, etc

    In my experience only, kids are more well balanced if they have siblings, even with an age gap. I am probably biased because my ex was an only child, and ended up completely selfish and spoiled. My current BF has two older sisters and is very good at communicating. That is only my experience though, I'm sure I even have friends who are only children and I'm not aware who would be living contests to that mindset.
  • saturnine15
    saturnine15 Posts: 140
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    I feel like I was almost an only child. I was 12 when my only brother was born. We don't have the typical sibling relationship. I can't really relate to people who have siblings close to them in age, as we never had any sibling rivalry or anything like that. I do wish that I'd had more patience with him when I was a teen and he was little. I love him to death and am happy my parents decided to have him. It is a joy to see him when I do.
  • RisiM
    RisiM Posts: 180 Member
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    I was an only child and when I got to 11 or so was desperate to have a sibling, even now I still think I would have wanted a brother or sister, especially when I see how close my daughters girls are to each other. My children had no aunts/uncles/cousins, till they were grown-up, when my husband (only child) found his (long-lost) dad had remarried and had 2 more boys, who both have children.
    I may not have liked to have had to share as a child, but I do think it helps you to develop relationships, given my time again I'd want to be part of a bigger family, especially Christmas & birthdays.
    I have four children, 5 grandchildren - the more the merrier I say :)
  • donnarichards83
    donnarichards83 Posts: 1
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    I'm an only child and always wanted a brother or sister for company and I think in later life as a friend....I never knew my Dad so my family is now my mum, nan, one uncle and 2 cousins. I would love a big family!
  • Alamangelalam
    Alamangelalam Posts: 2
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    I am an only child and I knew I didn't want that for my own child. It does get lonely, it also makes you stronger in some ways. I didn't want the memories our family makes to belong to only one person. Mine are 2 1/2 years apart so I can't comment on any age gap issues - and I've heard both sides as I'm sure you have too - but the trips we take, the movies / events / concerts /, the little every day things - at least when they're older and my husband and I have passed on, there's 2 people who can say to each other "hey remember the time we did ..." or "remember how momma / daddy did . . . ". Regardless of the gap having two people to help you spark memories no one else in the world would know - and the love that comes from that is priceless. Just my opinion.
  • keiraev
    keiraev Posts: 695 Member
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    I am not an only child I have a brother who is very close in age and although I love him, we fought like cat and dog when we were children!

    Some really good friends of mine are only children and they are some of the most well balanced people I know in life so I think it all depends on how you bring up your child/children and not how many you have.

    I am 33 and have no kids (yet!) but I don't think we will be able to afford more than one, and the chances of me having another one after the one we haven't had yet are getting slimmer by the year, so I think I will be happy even if we just have an only child...
  • binariiangel
    binariiangel Posts: 146 Member
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    I always wanted a sibling, and I finally got a little brother when I was 13. I now have 2 sisters, and 4 brothers, as well as a step brother, and a brother-in-law. I still love all my siblings, and its nice having a sibling.
  • sisierra
    sisierra Posts: 707 Member
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    I definitely am not an only child, but I am the baby. My sister is three years older than me and my brothers are 9 and 10 years older than me. I love my sister more than anything in this world, and I'm super glad I have her. I mean I have friends and everything, but no one can compare to my big sis. As for my brothers, we're pretty close. But that gap has made a difference in our relationship. I feel as we grow older we get somewhat closer, but it won't hold a candle to the relationship i have with my sis
  • Allie_71
    Allie_71 Posts: 1,063 Member
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    I loved being an only child. I got a lot of attention, love, and didn't have to baby sit or share my toys. Or pretend to lose at scrabble, or monopoly. No one broke my stuff. Or called me fathead or took up all the bed.

    No, wait, I have a sister, scratch that. :P

    Heh. Both have its merits. I always had a playmate, a confidant, and someone who looked up to me. And now, a good friend.

    We scrapped like wet angry cats though, growing up :)
  • kristen6022
    kristen6022 Posts: 1,926 Member
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    I LOVE being an only child. I never once, even younger, felt I was missing something. It made me a very independent, strong woman. Only have another if you want another. Don't feel you are damaging your daughter if you don't.

    I have several other only children friends (we tend to stick together) and they say the same things. One even had to deal with a dying father last year. Even though hard, his mom and him were the only ones that had to make decisions. Less fighting, less stress.

    I learned to play well on my own and had several friends growing up that had 3-4 siblings. If I got bored I went to their house. Usually within 2-3 hours I was on the phone crying to come home! LOL
  • NoAdditives
    NoAdditives Posts: 4,251 Member
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    Quick Poll please!

    My fiancee and I are undecided if we want to have another little one, our daughter is months away from turning 6 and keeps asking for a baby sister.

    **Question: As an only child, did you prefer it just being you and your parent(s) or would you have liked to have a sibling?**

    Disclosure: The results of your opinions are not a binding contract as to whether or not I get knocked up again ;)

    Thank you in advance for your help!

    I have always hated being an only child. I may have enjoyed it a little when I was a selfish teenager because it meant I got a lot of stuff and didn't have to share. But, I have always wanted a sibling. I was always very lonely as a kid. I haven't known too many other only children, I was always very jealous of my friends who had little sisters.

    I have three kids and I love that they have siblings. I have two girls, 3 1/2 years (Audrey) and 3 1/2 months (Vivienne), and one boy, 2 years tomorrow (Harrison). Audrey and Harrison are best friends and have been since he could crawl and sit up. They both adore Vivienne. I know they will always be best friends, mainly because of the small age gaps. I also love that they can go play with each other and I get a little bit of peace and quiet. Mostly, I love that they will never be alone. They will always have each other.

    The only thing about having kids with such a big age gap is that they may not be close friends until much later in life. My husband is 4 1/2 years older than his sister and they didn't become friends until they were both adults. While they were growing up they had nothing in common, they never played with each other.
  • MelanieL1984
    MelanieL1984 Posts: 46
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    I was not an only child. I had one sister that was 2 years younger than me! I loved it. Having someone to goof off with someone to be home alone w/ during the summers when we were old enough. Building forts in the living room w/ blankets and chairs. Knowing that no one will share the same experiences growing up as you and your sibling.

    I have 4 children now. I LOVE it. I love the interaction. I love the different personalities. I love everything about it. I refused to have only one child. One of the reasons I have refused to do so is because of my experiences as a nurse. I have seen too many times that when something happens to a parent (health-wise) and say the other one has passed away. Everything is left on that child to manage. The decisions, etc. They don't have much to turn to for help or support. Some family and friends would be there, but NO ONE can share the connection like a sibling. I'm sorry for bringing that scenario up, but I am being realistic.

    My daughter and son are 5 years apart. I love it. She is like a little momma! If you were worried about the age gap... have 2 close together : )
  • kelif5959
    kelif5959 Posts: 202
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    I have been both a sibling AND an only child. My sister died when I was 12 and even though we fought a lot as we got older (she was 5 years older) I would prefer that over being an only child! At least I have the memories! Good luck with your decision!

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