If you are an only child please open-quick question

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  • pregmeg119
    pregmeg119 Posts: 151 Member
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    I can't believe all of the responses! Thank you, I read each and every one of them. Ultimately, it is our decision and I think I am going to stick with my belief if both of us are "meh" about it then we shouldn't do it. There are definitely pros and cons to having more than one child and I'm terrified I will regret a decision not to have another one but I just feel like our family is just fine with the three of us.

    Hopefully, 20 years from now my daughter isn't replying to said question and resenting us for it! :ohwell:
  • LuckyLeprechaun
    LuckyLeprechaun Posts: 6,296 Member
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    I was an only child until age 7. I very much wanted to stay that way. However, the bond I have with my sister is priceless and I am so very grateful that my parents were in charge instead of me :)
  • kimberly702
    kimberly702 Posts: 369 Member
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    I'm an only child... wouldn't of had it any other way! I have an awesome relationship with my parents now. I did get bored though when I was a child, but we also lived 20 miles out of town.
  • goldfinger88
    goldfinger88 Posts: 686 Member
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    I can only speak for me. But as an only child, I can tell you I would have given anything for at least one sibling and preferably more. It's not really a fair position to put a child in and they suffer later in life -- not to mention in childhood. I'm sure there are exceptions, of course.
  • lessele
    lessele Posts: 40 Member
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    I am an only child and although I am over 60 years old I have always wanted a brother or sister. It really got harder after my parents passed away. It was up to me alone when they were ill and then later with regards to their belongings and house etc.
  • alecta337
    alecta337 Posts: 622 Member
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    I was an only child, but because my parents both have professional careers they hired live in nannys. So I always had someone around to play with me. I really enjoy being an only child, I am super spoiled =] I don't think I would be who I am today if I had had siblings.

    I think that I asked for a sibling when I was young, but then I got to the age where I realized that if there was another kid then my time with mom would be even less, so I didn't want one anymore.
  • Linda916
    Linda916 Posts: 124 Member
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    HATED IT!!! it was especially difficult when each of my parents developed terminal illnesses. suck, suck, sucked! I guess that's why I had three kids. We are a full party wherever we go!
  • Artemis726
    Artemis726 Posts: 587 Member
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    If you feel that you're good with the three of you, then that is perfect! Life would be pretty boring if every family was the same. :flowerforyou:

    FWIW- both DH and I were only children. His parents gave him a dog to help (and it did- a little :wink: ), and my single mother blurred the lines of being a parent and trying to be a friend, which led to a whole bunch of issues and confusion. Based on our experiences, we decided on a large, traditional sort of family- and have 2 girls and 2 boys. (I had my last at 30- like you I wanted to be a 'younger' mom) Lots of people think we are absolutely crazy to have 4 kids, but what's right for us is right for us. :heart:

    Good luck!
  • Aemely
    Aemely Posts: 694 Member
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    Only child for 12 years. It was great, but I didn't get a lot of practice on sharing... That being said, my parents put me into lots of summer camps, VBS, and other social activities. Without those, I might have been even more socially awkward. Ha!

    Anyway, I'm so, so, so glad that I finally got a sibling at age 12. Even though I left my parents' house/state at age 18, I got 6 years with a sibling that are very precious.
  • centaurfilly
    centaurfilly Posts: 21
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    I was an only child (later found out that I have an older brother and sister but still have never met them). In any case, I was also one of those kids that begged my parents for a little brother or sister. I always kind of resented the fact that I didn't have any siblings and even now as an adult I sometimes envy my friends that have sisters, especially if they are close to them. I've swore that when I get around to having kids I will never have just one.

    That being said, I've known other only children who were glad they never had to share - but if she's asking you for a younger brother or sister, then odds are that shes' going to be one of those that is going to be kind of bummed that she doesn't have siblings.
  • ThePunkHippie
    ThePunkHippie Posts: 213
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    I LOVED being an only child. Never wanted a little brother or sister.

    My fiance has a sister & she made his/our life hell. Same with my ex's brother
    I've actually promised myself that if this relationship doesn't work out, I will NEVER date anyone who has any siblings, because of how much of an issue I've had with extended family D:
  • sunkisses
    sunkisses Posts: 2,365 Member
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    I'll give my opinion since it seems like you need just one more. I was an only child, and I loved it. It had nothing to do with my parents, and I only had one of those anyway. I think if I'd had a sibling or siblings I would have enjoyed that too. You grow up with whatever you have or don't have, and you kinda don't know any differently. Even though I was close to other people, even sisterly - it's not the same as actually having a sister. Whatever you choose, your child will be fine with it.
  • daryls
    daryls Posts: 260
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    As a child it was great - I got all the attention and all the presents. Still, it definitely has its benefits. But, if my husband didn't have siblings, I would have totally missed out on being an aunt.

    There are positives and negatives - but I never asked my parents for a sibling :)
  • ErinNichole76
    ErinNichole76 Posts: 52 Member
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    I was an only child until I was 6 then my parents adopted 3 older kids, partially at my request. Dad was in the Navy and we just moved across the country. I thought having brothers & a sister would mean I always had friends and people to play barbies with. Unfortunately they grew out of playing with barbies within that first year. And because I was always tagging around with the 'big kids' they got so annoyed with me. Just after my 16th birthday I found myself as an only child again as the older kids had all moved out and basically cut ties with the family.

    Thankfully since I was about 4 I have had the same best friend. Even though we lived across the country for a while during those younger years and we live half way across the country from each other now, we are closer than most sisters I know. We had a nice 30 minute conversation today and were still able to finish each other's sentences.

    I think if your daughter has a few good close friends you can suggest to her that 'friends are the sisters destiny forgot to give you' or 'Friends are the family you pick for yourself' should you decide not to give her a younger sibling.
  • carrotstick2012
    carrotstick2012 Posts: 161
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    You just don't know about how an unknown, at this time, sibling is going to work out. They could get on really well or they might just not be the greatest of friends. Even if they get on well they may choose to live on opposite ends of the planet when they are grown. If you are going to have another child you should do it because you want to, not for your child. Sibling relationships do provide growth and development opportunities but they can be got elsewhere as well. My parents had a sibling for me so we could have a relationship as adults - and we live in different countries and have radically different lives with little in common.
  • Aemely
    Aemely Posts: 694 Member
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    If you are going to have another child you should do it because you want to, not for your child.

    I agree this should be first and foremost!
  • ladybg81
    ladybg81 Posts: 1,553 Member
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    I have an older brother and we were really close. However, I only have and will only have 1 child. He is 3. He goes to school and is extremely social (he got the set of genes I missed out on.) Sometimes I feel guilty about him not having a brother or sister, but I really think he will be okay. I feel I can provide a better life (physically, emotionally and financially) to 1 child instead of more. I have ZERO patience and I just can not imagine having more than 1 child. My son is pretty awesome (custom ordered from the man upstairs) so I don't want to temp fate. So, I'm good with it. Plus, if I ever get a wild hair, I just get another dog. No big deal! LOL!
  • GlitterGoldJem
    GlitterGoldJem Posts: 73 Member
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    I'm an only child and I freakin loved it. I was never bored, lonely, depressed or felt like I "missed" something or someone. Siblings don't work in my family, my parents both had older brothers that were complete bast*ards so they "stopped the cycle" and only had me. My parents were excellent in my upbringing, I always say they need to write a book. I never played with video games, I had an imagination and used it. I did get mostly everything I wanted but I am by no means spoiled or act like an only child. I'm friendly, loving, caring, love to share, have a ton of friends, etc.

    Being an only child is a great thing in my book! When I get married I'll probably have more than one child but that's just because I love kids. :-)
  • chauncyrenayCHANGED
    chauncyrenayCHANGED Posts: 788 Member
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    I am an only child. I wish that I had a brother or sister.
    I feel that many life lessons are learned through sibling relationships.
    As a psych student, I've learned that siblings often process their parental relationships with one another.
    Also, when my parent gets older, I am the only one who will be able to take care of her.

    That being said, I don't regret being an only child. I had a great childhood.
  • tross0924
    tross0924 Posts: 909 Member
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    I was fine with not having a sibling. I now have a step brother and sister and a half sister but they didn't come into the picture till I was 22. I liked growing up alone, but I also like having siblings now.

    7 Years is a good long time between kids though. Don't expect them to be each others best friends.

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