"Lost 100lbs & found out what the world thinks of fat ppl"

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  • cmoskovitz
    cmoskovitz Posts: 12 Member
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    Wow. I can so relate to this. I've been very heavy for the last 10 years. At a wedding, a friend (who happens to be a RAGING alcoholic) came up to me and let me know how much happier I'd be if I just "walked away from the table now and then". Having the vice of food is one of the few shortcomings that people can see the from the moment they lay eyes on you. No one can tell, upon passing glance, who's addicted to alcohol, drugs, work, porn... whatever. But God help you if a cookie is your weakness because it suddenly becomes fair game for anyone.
  • sreekripa2002
    sreekripa2002 Posts: 12 Member
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    It is true what you said, i have bad experience and that happened when I was 28 weeks pregnant. I happen to visit my mom one of my uncle ask me what is the secret of my fitness and how do I maintain my weight. I felt so bad. Now what ever happened I dont want any one to call me fat...
  • foreverloved
    foreverloved Posts: 220 Member
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    This article applies not only to fat - it applies to everything (in a western society) that falls outside of western ideals.

    For example, I used to dress like a boy. That was what I liked to wear, not really for any reason other than that i liked it and could do lots in it and didn't really care about clothes much. Probably the only thing more terrifying than a girl who dresses like a boy is a boy who dresses like a girl...

    I am by no means 'ugly', but if I throw my hair in a pony tail I with boy's clothes I could probably be considered plain.

    A few years ago I met a nice guy - the first guy I have ever REALLY been drawn to and sexually attracted to. I felt this huge primal urge to emphasise everything 'feminine'. I figured that there was nothing unhealthy about this, so I started growing my hair longer, painting my fingernails, wearing skirts, and just generally transferring a lot of my artistic expression into my appearance.

    The world changed completely.

    Suddenly, I was pretty. Instead of melting into a background with all the things that don't catch people's eye, I started catching everyone's eyes, mostly men's. They were suddenly much nicer to me, and much more rude at the same time... happy to leer and stare openly, shout out car windows.

    My friends, many of whom were feminists, started to judge me very poorly and treat me badly. A whole sub-society that I enjoyed became cut off to me.

    ...

    Unfortunately, a large part of the reality behind fat-hate, mostly against women, is some underlying expectation that all women strive at all times to appear as attractive as possible. If you 'let yourself go,' cut your hair, don't wear heels, don't grow or implant boobs, or don't wear skirts, you will be socially punished. If you do all these things you will be rewarded.

    As I am not a man I can't even speculate on what the social punishments are for being fat or ugly (or short?)...I cant only speak about what I experienced and what I observed driving it. It's like I was a bad dog who needed to be ignored, and suddenly I was a good dog who deserved lots of attention.

    Fat is one among the many aberrations for which you may be punished. It is the one for which you may be punished most cruelly, though.

    Others for women include:
    - too muscley (too masculine)/not enough muscle tone
    - too much makeup/no makeup
    - too much hair
    - short hair
    - pants/shorts (oh if you don't wear a skirt you won't even believe how much reward skirts get)
    - shoulders too big/hips too small
    - too aggressive

    The perversion is not what men find attractive, so much as the fact that it is applied to EVERY social/work interaction and opportunity.

    The downside, of course, is that if you manage to find the right balance between all of these things, suddenly the social reward switches around to punishment - you must be a b*tch and a bimbo and deserve to be treated poorly and sexually harassed and leered at because that's all you're good for.

    It's a messy world out there.


    Harsh truths! /agree
  • dp1228
    dp1228 Posts: 439 Member
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    It makes me happy, sad and mad all at the same time.

    Exactly this. This PERFECTLY sums up what I feel about getting thinner. I literally could not have worded it any better.
  • polo571
    polo571 Posts: 708 Member
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    Bump
  • cjuliano78
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    This is so true. At my top weight I was 300 lbs. I lost about 100 lbs via surgery and even though I was still heavy, the way I was treated before and after was shockingly different. I was in college at my heavest and people would get up and move if i sat in a desk near them, as if my being fat was contagious. Nobody wanted to be my lab partner in class, as if being fat also made me stupid. I graduated with a 3.9 gpa in the top 10% of my class. I took a semester off to have weight surgery. Upon my graduation I had lost the weight and people I had been in school with for four years finally took notice of me. They finally started allowing me to sit in their study groups. They finally stopped laughing when I walked in the room. The jokes I'm sure they use to say about me, they started telling to me about other over weight students. I was no longer the "fat freak" they ignored, but that by far didn't make them my friends. They may have accepted me because I was more socially acceptable in size, but I couldn't forget how they made me feel for the previous four years. And yet, they wondered why I declined their invitation to the after graduation party.
  • shodaimetruth
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    One of the worst types of prejudice nowadays is the one against fat people, exactly because it's approved by society. Turnstiles, bus seats, plane corridors, etc, everything is made to remind you that you're overweight and that if you don't change that reality you simply won't fit in, and won't make use of things because they weren't designed for you. It's a constant reminder that you need to lose weight no matter what, as if the television and magazines didn't show you enough of that already.
    I've never been "obese" (even that word has a huge "weight" on it. It's one of the heaviest words I know!), but I've seen how much suffering my father has been through because of his obesity. People would look at him with curiosity as he entered an elevator, and grimace if they had to sit by his side on a plane or bus.

    It really creates a stigma, and it's hard to get rid of it when you reach your goal and realize you're suddenly surrounded by people who did not want your company before you became "normal" (to their own disfigured paradigms, at least).

    The text states the absolute truth. Thank you very much for showing us that perspective.

    wait what? because the world is only so big, and buses can only be as wide as the street they'll drive on, and rollercoasters can only have so much space and weight.. it's discriminating against fat people? then i think that because ceilings are only so high, they're discriminating against tall people. and because my kitchen cabinets were built this way... it's rude to me because i'm short. nooo... the world is built for what is "average." being 700 lbs isn't average because it isn't healthy. being 4 ft tall isn't average because it's not too common. the world is what it is. you can be fat and rude just as you can be skinny and rude. and if a guy doesn't hold the door for me, i don't assume it's because i'm unattractive, i assume it's because he's a *kitten* who was raised poorly. that's just my opinion

    AGREED!!!
  • shaydon80
    shaydon80 Posts: 138 Member
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    I've lost 100lbs (80 in the last 15 or so months) and I can vouch for the accuracy of this article. It's sad, but she's right!
  • losermomof3
    losermomof3 Posts: 386 Member
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    Can totally relate!!! Thanks for sharing its very emotional!
  • caroleslaststand
    caroleslaststand Posts: 178 Member
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    At 230 pounds people always held the door for me,infact I got treated no diffrent at 230 than I do now at 175 or when I was 120.

    Where do you live? In certain parts of the country (or even in the world) this is more pronounced. People in Oregon are less likely to behave as described, but it is still here. I've experienced it enough to know exactly what all of you are talking about and have the same reaction - I'll always be fat inside and never trust anyone who didn't love me just as much when I was fat - will always have trouble knowing whether or not to trust new people. I've spent a lot of my life being outraged by people's attitudes.

    I know it can be brutal in Southern California where there is a particular obsession with "beautiful people" and where many swear that a Calif. "10" (as in female ratings) is much higher than a '10' elsewhere. Move 1,000 miles to the north in Portland and the Calif. attitude is regarded with disdain, even by former Californians.
  • bigdog360
    bigdog360 Posts: 4 Member
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    Being mean to overweight persons is one of the most accepted forms of discrimination tolerated publicly. Thanks for sharing
  • TiasF
    TiasF Posts: 58 Member
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    I'm glad you all enjoyed it! Thank you for reading :)
  • netra11
    netra11 Posts: 28 Member
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    Well said. Feels better when you have someone understand where you come from and what struggle it took you to get there.
  • chickabee5
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    What an amazing story (and one that is unfortunately so very true)! Thank you for posting!
  • Articeluvsmemphis
    Articeluvsmemphis Posts: 1,987 Member
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    Thanks for sharing. I'm a shy person anyway, so losing the rest of my weight will help me blend in better, haha. I wanna stay fat on the inside as well.
  • Ivyzmama
    Ivyzmama Posts: 108 Member
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    Back in 2001-2002 I lost 80 lbs, went from a size 22 to a size 8. The thin girls at work who had previously ignored me drafted me into their social circles at work. But it turned out that I still couldn't relate. They talked about things like: "the horrible moment in their pregnancies around the 9th month when they weighed as much as their husbands and how horrible that moment was." I had always weighed a lot more than my husband - until I lost the last 20 lbs - so I couldn't relate. I also Never Forgot that they hadn't wanted to be friends with me when I was fat. (But apparently that's because we couldn't even have had a social conversation when I was fat because apparently fat girls & skinny girls talk about really different things because they have really different life experiences.) t still haven't forgotten 10 yrs later (sadly, I gained 70 lbs back but at least it took me a decade!) This is how I know I will always be a fat person inside.
  • Savyna
    Savyna Posts: 789 Member
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    very enjoyable article and also relatable.
  • Crystalchaos72
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    Thanks for sharing :)
  • LFiestan
    LFiestan Posts: 176 Member
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    great work for loosing 100lbs, congrats :D

    i can really relate to this and its true that fat people dont always get the same treatment/benefits as thin & fit people do. When i was at my highest weight i was depressed and there was one incident (and im sure alot of you have experienced this) where all the attention (mostly male of course) went to this thin friend of mine and though i was always at her side, i felt invisible. Like for example, I made a presentation and it was far better than hers and her work is just average, I felt that my hard work or contribution was not even recognized just coz im the fat ugly girl. (sorry, had to let that out)
  • eig6
    eig6 Posts: 249 Member
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    Interesting, thanks for posting!
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