"Lost 100lbs & found out what the world thinks of fat ppl"
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I'm glad you all enjoyed it! Thank you for reading
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Well said. Feels better when you have someone understand where you come from and what struggle it took you to get there.0
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What an amazing story (and one that is unfortunately so very true)! Thank you for posting!0
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Thanks for sharing. I'm a shy person anyway, so losing the rest of my weight will help me blend in better, haha. I wanna stay fat on the inside as well.0
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Back in 2001-2002 I lost 80 lbs, went from a size 22 to a size 8. The thin girls at work who had previously ignored me drafted me into their social circles at work. But it turned out that I still couldn't relate. They talked about things like: "the horrible moment in their pregnancies around the 9th month when they weighed as much as their husbands and how horrible that moment was." I had always weighed a lot more than my husband - until I lost the last 20 lbs - so I couldn't relate. I also Never Forgot that they hadn't wanted to be friends with me when I was fat. (But apparently that's because we couldn't even have had a social conversation when I was fat because apparently fat girls & skinny girls talk about really different things because they have really different life experiences.) t still haven't forgotten 10 yrs later (sadly, I gained 70 lbs back but at least it took me a decade!) This is how I know I will always be a fat person inside.0
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very enjoyable article and also relatable.0
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Thanks for sharing 0
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great work for loosing 100lbs, congrats
i can really relate to this and its true that fat people dont always get the same treatment/benefits as thin & fit people do. When i was at my highest weight i was depressed and there was one incident (and im sure alot of you have experienced this) where all the attention (mostly male of course) went to this thin friend of mine and though i was always at her side, i felt invisible. Like for example, I made a presentation and it was far better than hers and her work is just average, I felt that my hard work or contribution was not even recognized just coz im the fat ugly girl. (sorry, had to let that out)0 -
Interesting, thanks for posting!0
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It's not a cruel world. it's plainly survival of the fittest, nature doing what it does that has enabled it to survive. obese people are unhealthy people and unhealthy people do not survive. it is the same across the animal kingdom board- weak animals get left behind. That's the only way Nature can improve. It is what it is.
However, we aren't animals and shouldn't act accordingly.0 -
That awesome!!! thanks for sharing your story.0
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This is the most accurate way of describing how many of us feel after losing weight of that magnitude. I myself have lost 85 pounds in the last 4 years. It is a TOTALLY different world now that I am thin. It is so strange to me because I am still the same person on the inside that I was before.... The sad truth is that most people will not take the time to get to know you if you are a fat person. The ones that knew me before and treated me with respect when I was fat are the ones that I hold dearly to my heart. Great article. It almost felt like I was reading my own story. Thanks for sharing.0
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it's like a social status once you loose weight people who never talked to you are now your friends. smh I once weighed 279 and now I am down to 170 so I know what you mean0
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Thank you for sharing! I am sure that most of us can easily identify with how she felt at some point in our lives!0
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Very insightful, thank you for sharing.0
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"I became a renegade for team F.A.T"...
That's good stuff...lol...I get more and more motivated to reach my goals every day when I read posts like this...it is mostly a taboo topic unless brought up by an overweight person, but we all know society in general discriminates against fat people...I do admit, being fat does show a certain lack of commitment, lack of dedication, common sense, etc...but whatever the case, this was an excellent post!
Send me an application...I'll be joining the team soon!0 -
The perversion is not what men find attractive, so much as the fact that it is applied to EVERY social/work interaction and opportunity.
The downside, of course, is that if you manage to find the right balance between all of these things, suddenly the social reward switches around to punishment - you must be a b*tch and a bimbo and deserve to be treated poorly and sexually harassed and leered at because that's all you're good for.
It's a messy world out there.
This is very true. I am with what the article says btw, and often wonder why post-fat syndrome isn't recognised - that in which you distrust anyone that didn't know or like you when you were fat, when you buy clothes the wrong size in the shops, when you don't recognise yourself in the mirror, when you don't know what to do when people chat you up... people are mean to those who are heavier, and like the author said, you don't know til you get to the other side and then you are shocked and distrustful. I've gained back 20 pounds from my initial weight loss which has put me back in fat-camp and made me invisible again but when I was on the other side I often longed for that anonymity - where people don't even notice that you are there at all. It's a weird old thing the human psyche, and like the poster above says, not limited purely to fatness for women.0 -
That was such a great post! Thank you for posting it. I'm definitely going to put that in my bookmarks whenever I need some inspiration.0
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This article applies not only to fat - it applies to everything (in a western society) that falls outside of western ideals.
For example, I used to dress like a boy. That was what I liked to wear, not really for any reason other than that i liked it and could do lots in it and didn't really care about clothes much. Probably the only thing more terrifying than a girl who dresses like a boy is a boy who dresses like a girl...
I am by no means 'ugly', but if I throw my hair in a pony tail I with boy's clothes I could probably be considered plain.
A few years ago I met a nice guy - the first guy I have ever REALLY been drawn to and sexually attracted to. I felt this huge primal urge to emphasise everything 'feminine'. I figured that there was nothing unhealthy about this, so I started growing my hair longer, painting my fingernails, wearing skirts, and just generally transferring a lot of my artistic expression into my appearance.
The world changed completely.
Suddenly, I was pretty. Instead of melting into a background with all the things that don't catch people's eye, I started catching everyone's eyes, mostly men's. They were suddenly much nicer to me, and much more rude at the same time... happy to leer and stare openly, shout out car windows.
My friends, many of whom were feminists, started to judge me very poorly and treat me badly. A whole sub-society that I enjoyed became cut off to me.
...
Unfortunately, a large part of the reality behind fat-hate, mostly against women, is some underlying expectation that all women strive at all times to appear as attractive as possible. If you 'let yourself go,' cut your hair, don't wear heels, don't grow or implant boobs, or don't wear skirts, you will be socially punished. If you do all these things you will be rewarded.
As I am not a man I can't even speculate on what the social punishments are for being fat or ugly (or short?)...I cant only speak about what I experienced and what I observed driving it. It's like I was a bad dog who needed to be ignored, and suddenly I was a good dog who deserved lots of attention.
Fat is one among the many aberrations for which you may be punished. It is the one for which you may be punished most cruelly, though.
Others for women include:
- too muscley (too masculine)/not enough muscle tone
- too much makeup/no makeup
- too much hair
- short hair
- pants/shorts (oh if you don't wear a skirt you won't even believe how much reward skirts get)
- shoulders too big/hips too small
- too aggressive
The perversion is not what men find attractive, so much as the fact that it is applied to EVERY social/work interaction and opportunity.
The downside, of course, is that if you manage to find the right balance between all of these things, suddenly the social reward switches around to punishment - you must be a b*tch and a bimbo and deserve to be treated poorly and sexually harassed and leered at because that's all you're good for.
It's a messy world out there.
^^I think I have a girl crush on you!
I agree with all of this.
On another note, I have always been one to wear bikinis and short shorts and thigh high socks. I am just comfortable in my skin, or more comfortable in less clothing. I dunno. But as I have lost weight and become more fit, I've noticed so much more negativity towards me than before. Women shouting at me to put my clothes on, men calling me a *kitten*. People seem to think I want attention, negative or positive. Considering I have dressed like this for years, when I was 50 lbs heavier, and no one said ANYTHING to me about it, I feel a bit of the opposite as well. Like there is resentment for women who are considered "attractive" and this can be spoken openly, while the resentment for the "Fat girl" is whispered behind her back. Makes me think of that Ani Defranco song:
God help you if you are an ugly girl,
of course, too pretty is also your doom
cuz everyone harbors a hatred
for the prettiest girl in the room....0 -
aww this is really heart-wrenching
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Very interesting, thank you for sharing!0
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It was a good story, and I think most people who have been overweight can related to some degree or another, however I disagree with a couple of points.
First, the idea of "Team F.A.T." and her final comment that "I hope I always stay fat on the inside." at best are making the assumption that only people who have been/are fat have compassion or consideration for those who are overweight. It's as if she's arguing that it's unfair to make the assumption that just because a person is fat that they don't have some redeeming qualities, but then setting fat or previously-fat people on a pedestal for their compassion.
Second, the article comes close (and some of the early comments went well past) to the line of calling overweight people unfair victims of discrimination. Comparing Eddie Murphy's skit regarding racism to that of an overweight person in a skinny person's body is a bit of a fallacy, as one has no control over race, but one does (in most cases) have control over their actions which cause them to become/remain overweight. Companies hire college graduates over high school graduates because education is a good signal of a worker's possible productivity, this is too discrimination, but hardly unfair. Nor is it unfair that men pay more attention to females who show physical traits which signal a better possible match in a partner (whether it has to do with child bearing, or finding someone who also loves to go hiking).
All of that said, I still personally look for opportunities to hold doors open for anyone, thin or fat, male or female.0 -
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You're awesome! I am 5'11" and was very overweight in HS- a lot of the same things you've experienced etc...
thanks for sharing your story, its really nice knowing you can change isn't it?
I know I felt phenomenal once I got down under 160 It's always a constant battle though... 0 -
Thank you for posting this, it is very interesting to read a different perspective!0
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Not to move off-topic, but I have been following this chain for a while and I keep thinking about a different, but related, experience I had. I broke my foot a few years ago. It was a very, very, very bad break and I had to have surgery to pin it back together. I spent 4+ months on crutches.
OMG! Talk about a different world. Everyone was so kind to me. I never had to open a door. People rushed to assist me. It was encouraging. And, yet it was bitter-sweet. It struck me how unfair it is that someone with a visible disability is treated SO differently than those with disabilities of a different sort (like my friend with painful degenerative arthritis).
Also, there's this total shift in reactions in regard to whether or not the person is struggling with something blameless and non-catch-able and something we believe is controllable or catchable. With the former, you see humanity at its' best. With the latter, we see humanity at its' worst.
Thanks again for the great post and the reminder to rise above.0 -
So touching, thanks for sharing :-)0
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THAT WAS AMAZING!!!!!!!!0
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