He Called me Stupid..is it Emotional abuse?

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  • healthynursein2015
    healthynursein2015 Posts: 16 Member
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    my daughter was married to a man like this , and she endured many a hateful coments and gestures , she left him (divorced him) they have a daughter together , i am so proud of her for leaving him she is so much happier now and remarried to a wonderful man who treats her and my dradaughter like princesses, dont stay with this man, he should love and cherrish you no matter your weight or mistakes (clogged drain please,,) you have made , good luck and you are making the right decision to leave him and dont look back . yes this is controling emotional abuse / men who have low self esteem will put down any female they can to make themselves look better , this is coming from a 51year old ,mom,daughter, wife , nurse for over 30 years i have seen it all
  • BlueInkDot
    BlueInkDot Posts: 702 Member
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    Seriously have you left yet? LEAVE NOW.
  • kflynn28147
    kflynn28147 Posts: 37 Member
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    Get out before it is too late. Abuse , no one should be abused.
  • Pookylou
    Pookylou Posts: 988 Member
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    My husband is the same way, except he doesn't hit me. I know this may be TMI, but he does hold me down and does things to me and keeps on even after I tell him to stop. He is always talking down to me and always says how I don't watch our kids well enough, yet he still lets me stay at home with them. I do watch them well though, but you can't watch them 24/7 like he thinks. Please leave him behind before you can't get out of it easily, like me.

    You need to leave this rapist as soon as you can for you and your hidden. They will be learning from you and think this is normal. I know it is harder to up and leave with kids but you bloody well need to
  • yo_andi
    yo_andi Posts: 2,178 Member
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    Yeah, I would LOVE to see a man brave enough to try any of that crap with me....course I'm tall as most men & scare the **** out of them.
    Leave. Now. He's a coward punk gets gratification out of hitting someone smaller. Jerk. Gawd, now I need to hit someone.

    Captures exactly how I feel.

    Leave him. Get out now.
  • Apryl546
    Apryl546 Posts: 909 Member
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    I'm sorry but..
    Are you stupid?

    Seriously , I think you are the rudest person I have ever met.

    Are you stupid asking someone who is being emotionally abused such a question?
    I am sure you have met ruder than myself.
    It was a legit question.
    She's dealt with staying with him for this long, why is she waiting till a certain time to end the relationship?
  • nancyv73
    nancyv73 Posts: 16
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    You are being abuse and you DO NOT have to put up with it!!! I was in a very abusive relationship for 15years. I have a moto now "I would rather me alone and happy, than with someone and miserable!" Don't put up with this for one more minute. You do not deserve to be treated this way!!! Some people like to put others down to make them feel bigger and better.
  • acidosaur
    acidosaur Posts: 295 Member
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    It really sounds like an abusive situation to me. You need to get out, if you can.
  • PlanetVelma
    PlanetVelma Posts: 1,231 Member
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    Please make a plan to leave NOW.

    To the other poster who said she couldn't get out because she has kids, that's total BS. I left my ex 10 years ago, took the kids, our stuff and the debt. He kept the cars, house and furniture. As someone very wise told me - I left with something more important....my self respect.

    In closing, posting this on a public forum is NOT the best place to get advice on these types of issues. See below....


    http://www.thehotline.org/get-educated/what-is-domestic-violence/

    http://www.thehotline.org/get-educated/internet-safety/

    Advocates with the National Domestic Violence Hotline understand that technology is ever-changing, and it can be used to jeopardize your safety or as a means to ensure your safety. For more information and help with safety planning, please contact the Hotline at 1-800-799-SAFE (7223) or TTY 1-800-787-3224.

    Did you know that you can monitor someone’s computer use without the user knowing?
    Did you know that a “history” cannot be completely erased from a computer?
    Did you know that cell phone use can be monitored?
    Did you know that a global positioning system (GPS) can be placed on your car, in your purse or in your cell phone?
    Did you know the some court systems are placing court records online and that they may contain personal information?
    Did you know that e-mail is like a postcard and can be intercepted?
    Did you know that you can find safe computers at www.ctcnet.org?
    These are questions that Advocates can help answer. Technology is a powerful tool for someone leaving a domestic violence situation, and Advocates can help a caller, whether victim, friend or family member, plan to use all aspects of technology safely. For more information and support, please contact the National Domestic Violence Hotline at 1-800-799-SAFE (7233) or TTY 1-800-787-3224.
  • stephc0711
    stephc0711 Posts: 1,026 Member
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    Honey, it's not just emotional. The little "playful" slaps are going to eventually turn to hard slap, punches, etc. GET OUT! You deserve better! You're a smart, beautiful woman who deserves to be treated with respect, and this man clearly, is not!
  • grumpy2day
    grumpy2day Posts: 212
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    LEAVE! before those "SLAPS" turn into "PUNCHES" He most definetely is abusing you; emotionally, mentally and physically.
  • dlongshot7
    dlongshot7 Posts: 79
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    My bf loves to get into deep conversation about politics, religions,social events..etc...
    Whenever he does this , I try no to talk to much for he loves to just go on and on and on...
    Then he asked me some specific questions and I answered ,,he then of course disagreed..
    I disagreed again ..he then got defensive and call me stupid and said " That is the Stupiest thing I have ever heard " Last night he gave me a whole sermon bc the kitchen sink is clogged up..he said " Never ever in this house has anyone clogged up the kitchen sink drain ..it had to be .. you!" Made me feel like crap of course and told him not to be so mean about it . He makes comments about my weight and jokes on how I always like to think about food.

    Last night as I laid down to sleep he looked at my belly and made a face of disgust. He had deleted me from his facebook account ..he then added me but has restricted ..I can't see his info or photos..


    He tends to smack me for no reason, he says he is playing . Whenever I say something that he doesn't like , he "playfully" grabs me and " Playfully" slaps me on the face...although it's not hard ..it does hurt at times and I'm getting tired of him doing that . It's just so immature. the silly slaps on my face and my *** randomly uuggg..so tired. He then comments on when he was my age he had accomplished so much ..a profession, a good job, houses,cars ...etc... and while me I haven't done much. ...again makes me feel bad. There are times he will ridicule me in from of his daughters for either having said something wrong ..or for breaking something around the house..even if they were not there to see it ..he will tell them about the accident .
    AM I Being emotional abused ?
    sure feels like it ! I will be travelling far far away and will end the relationship once I'm away ..but I put this on here just so you guys can confirm that in fact I'm not crazy and this is abuse.
    I'm not use to being treated like this ..That's why I will leave him.

    i was in the same situation about years ago.. I dated a guy who consistantly would call me a B*tch, etc. And "playfully" slap me, make rude comments etc. After going through all of that it really puts you down. GET OUT NOW. Seriously you really need to get out! I luckily some how in the midst of him yelling at me who god knows what had an "Ahh hhh" moment and told him to eat *kitten*.. lmao but I walked out of that house with all my stuff and told him to leave me alone. And he did... Its hard to walk away but the hits get harder... which would you want?
  • kflynn28147
    kflynn28147 Posts: 37 Member
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    A real man does not act this way. He is no man. Just a bumb.
  • shortmom60
    shortmom60 Posts: 53
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    It is abuse..get away now before things turn worse. Nobody deserves to be treated that way so leave him.
  • lgalloway1940
    lgalloway1940 Posts: 23 Member
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    It is very much emotional & physical abuse. You dont have to put up with it. Pack your bags & leave NOW!!
  • kealambert
    kealambert Posts: 961 Member
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    i don't think 'abuse' is necessarily the word, at least in the deepest, darkest sense of what it can me

    it just sounds like he's a complete tool and doesn't appreciate you
  • lour441
    lour441 Posts: 543 Member
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    I have 4 daughters. If any one of them would ever be treated like that I would end up in prison.

    Every woman should be treated like queen by her SO. Every man should be treated like a king by his SO. If that is not happening on both sides then it is not meant to be and it is time to move on. You are clearly not being treated right. Move on.
  • meerkat70
    meerkat70 Posts: 4,616 Member
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    i don't think 'abuse' is necessarily the word, at least in the deepest, darkest sense of what it can me

    it just sounds like he's a complete tool and doesn't appreciate you

    Actually, the behaviour fits pretty much every definition of abuse.

    One of the reasons that women stay longer than they should in abusive relationships is because the image we have of abuse is all of the most extreme forms. You don't have to be held at gun point for it to be 'abuse'.
  • HollywoodDJ
    HollywoodDJ Posts: 296
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    Everyone here is right.....it will get worse. But ...just like an alcoholic who needs help...or an addict....or even me...overweight....it is not different with domestic abuse situations. You will only change and leave him if you WANT TO. YOU HAVE TO WANT IT. No one can make you leave. You obviously can't change his behavior ...so I hope ...and I pray with all my heart that you WANT to leave. Everyone here can tell you that you deserve better and that you are worth more....but you have to believe it somewhere in
    you soul and spirit.

    Let me ask you a question....Would you ever treat anyone this way?

    Why is ok for him to treat you this way?

    It's not!

    Praying for you and that you will have the strength to leave and know it is better to be alone than to be teased, taunted, called names, made fun of, demeaned, lied too (the FB thing is just not right either) and "slapped" around....(even in just fun play)....that's is a clear sign he is testing you to see how much he can get away with. Please please please....leave him.
  • BlueInkDot
    BlueInkDot Posts: 702 Member
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    i don't think 'abuse' is necessarily the word, at least in the deepest, darkest sense of what it can me
    it just sounds like he's a complete tool and doesn't appreciate you
    Uhhhhh no. It's definitely abuse. >:/ Is it just me or have all the men who have posted so far have a pretty lenient definition "abuse?" >:(

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