Being bashed on for being 23 and pregnant!! :(
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First off, congratulations to you!! I know it wasn't a planned pregnancy, but you are obviously responsible enough to handle the situation, your 23, you have a job and from what you have said are in a stable supportive relationship. Everyone will come around, and you will do fine....there are ways, it will all work out!!!!!!!!!!!!0
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firstly, congratulations! Don't listen to all those people. My mum was 17 when she first had my brother, she wasn't working either and they had to live on my dad's wage. My mum is going to be 40 in September, she's still with my Dad and honestly she's the best mum ever. She's my best friend and I honestly thnk her being so young when she had us is a great contribution to that, she was able to grow with us and it made us stronger together.
Yes, it's been hard and but she's done college and now has her own successful business. You can do it, just never lose faith, you're an amazing woman and you're child will be lucky to have you!0 -
My best advice is to stay in school!
The fact that you are in vocational school right now is AMAZING. You'll be done before your baby arrives. What a blessing!
I work at a vocational school in admissions and it just tears my heart up every time a young girl finds out she is pregnant and leaves school!
There is no better way for you to secure a future for your child.
Stay in school, friend! Good luck to you.
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I was in the exact position as you. I got pregnant when I was 20 and a full time student, my bf was the bread winner. I ended up being a stay at home mom and we did just fine. My son will turn 6 in 2 weeks.
Just focus on you and that baby, everything has a way of working out even though it seems impossible at the time. 0 -
My best advice is to stay in school!
The fact that you are in vocational school right now is AMAZING. You'll be done before your baby arrives. What a blessing!
I work at a vocational school in admissions and it just tears my heart up every time a young girl finds out she is pregnant and leaves school!
There is no better way for you to secure a future for your child.
Stay in school, friend! Good luck to you.
This^ def finish school, I would say it's a blessing to be in school and not working...the school will have far more benefits for your future! 23 is NOT too young. And P.S. If the boyfriend can handle the bills (don't shoot for the moon, a little apartment, food, and furnishings), you should TRY not to work for a bit after the baby is born! Very precious time!
I had my first at 19 (unplanned as well) and have raised her very successfully. She is 13 and amazing!0 -
Keep your chin up hon....I personally do not think 23 is too young considering there are those that start families younger.
I'm 23 this coming November and I'm a mother to a 19 month old boy & am currently pregnant with my 2nd child (due in the new year). I too gave up work to go back to school, starting september
I'm going to school and raising both of my beautiful blessings whilst I get my degree. Who's to say you can not do both, as most programs will send you your work home whilst you recover from labour, you will find there a lot more out there help-wise then there was a few years ago. Obviously it is your choice what you decide to do of course but just letting you know there is that option
I have been with my partner for four years and we try to share our responsibilities equally as he works evenings and he will be helping during the day whilst i attend my classes.
All i am trying to say is people can be just too judgmental and do not take into considerations other feeling before opening their mouths. If you & your partner are happy with your brilliant news, then its not up to anyone else what you wish to do with your life.
Sending lots of prayers and wishing you good health throughout your pregnancy 0 -
you are 23 not 16!!! you are plenty old enough ...your plans will just have to change a little. If your boyfriend is supportive you don't have a problem. You only have a wonderful Joyous future with that little angle that you can call your own.
don't worry about what people say. Accidents happen and you'll get through it. Do you know how many women want to have children and for some reason cannot get pregnut. consider it a wonderful blessing and go on with your life!
Grandma Linda0 -
One of the best gifts I gave to my now 35 year old son, was to go back to school when he was in 4th grade. Because both of us were in school and studying togeather, doing homework, etc. He got to see how important and celebrated learing and education was for me.
He is now an engeneer in the aerospace industry and has worked for Boeing, on the 787 Dreamliner, the Space Shuttle Program and now for HondaJet on their new plane. Investing in yourself is investing in your child. So get out there have that baby and go to school togeather. 0 -
Don't let other people distress you, especially now. I was 19 when I had my first child and he is a fully grown, well adjusted married man who has 2 Masters degrees and I could not be prouder of him. As for school, I am an RHIT, which is a Registered Health Information Technician and my speciality is medical billing and coding. If you stick with the program you will not have a problem finding work, especially with the introduction of ICD-10 coming so soon. Your baby is lucky to have such a great mom. Don't worry about your family either, they will come around once they see that baby. You will be just fine.0
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Hang in there! You are going to be fine. Your family will come around soon enough. Don't worry about being unemployed...you are going to school to better your career.0
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23 is not young at all. I was married at 19 and had a baby by 21. I had my second daughter just after I turned 25. I have a friend who is the same age as me who has 4 kids. 15 is young. 23 is not. Your school program isn't too long. Just talk to your advocate about possible maternity time or doing some schooling at home. Once you finish school your opportunities will open up and you will have a better chance of getting a higher paying job. Good luck.0
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23 isn't young! I got pregnant at 17 & had my baby at 18. <- that's young. Also, you'll do great! Finish school 0
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I make it a point to always be excited for someone who is expecting, so CONGRATULATIONS!!!!
I was 23 when I got pregnant with my son. I had been married for 3 years and people were still not supportive. Then I was 26 when I got pregnant with my daughter. Still married, and Still no support. I know the boat you are in. No one can ever "afford" a baby, but you can do it! There is help out there, and if you make the decision to do it, you will do just fine!0 -
Congratulations Try to keep a good attitude. My daughter had her first child at 21 and was not in a relationship with the father. She had already earned her GED and had decided to go to college before she got pregnant. With the baby she qualified for Grants to pay her way through college (along with some student loans). She graduated 1 1/2 years ago with her BS in Nutrition. She even had her 2nd child with her husband 4 years ago. Having a supportive boyfriend will help and hopefully your family will come around. I can honestly say the greatest gift my daughter has given me is my grandsons!! Look into financial aid to help you through school. Every little bit helps. Also, look into WIC for help with the groceries.0
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23 is not too young. I was already married and pregnant by then also, then we had our second when I was 26. I am almost 35 and our kids are 11 and 8 and everything has been great. I would have never done it any different. You will be fine, being a mom is the best thing ever !!!0
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23 is not too young but I understand the economic concerns. Have you considered adoption ?0
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I was 21 when I got married. At 23, my husband and I split up, but only for a short time. We had gotten back together a week or two later, and than I became pregnant. Because of the rockiness, my parents were NOT thrilled. They even suggested abortion. I am prolife and do no believe in murder, so regardless of my husband and mines situation, I was keeping my son. I had him at 24, and we are still together. Things will never be perfect in life, but being a mommy is the most rewarding experience!
I wish you the best!!0 -
Just because you are pregnant and in school doesn't mean you have to stay unemployed. I have known women younger, without any support, who have done it.
My suggestion, look into section 8 housing and food stamps to cut your living expenses until you are finished with school. And start looking for a part time job that doesn't require too much effort but at the same time will allow you to have some pocket money for buying baby stuff. I suggest light retail like Pier 1 Imports, Swatch, Yankee Candle and Godiva. These places don't require a lot of stocking and they are usually quiet enough that you get plenty of time to sit down and they tend to pay a little more than minimum wage. People sleep on luxury retail, but I have had my best experiences at places like that and have always had an opportunity to go to school and work while employed there. Another good option is grocery store or drugstore checkout.
Any jewelry and electronics that are not essential to your day to day...Consider selling them. If you have friends and relatives that need babysitters on weekends and evenings, offer at a decent rate.
Being pregnant and unemployed is "doable" it just involves creativity and a willingess to work hard. Hopefully you won't have any complications that will make it difficult for you to work on stacking your paper until the baby is born.
It is super important to save as much as possible because once the baby comes you may be out of commission for about 2-3 months.
Oh and WIC. Once the baby comes, sign up for WIC so that you can have something to help with the expense of formula. The issue that you are going to encounter at this point is childcare. Hopefully your family will come around and be able to help you with childcare so you can set your sights on getting a real job with your certification. You may want to also talk to the school about accellerated coursework. If you explain your situation to your counselor and financial aid director you might be able to get finished before you deliver.
Good luck with everything! You can do it!0 -
I had my daughter when I was 21. Her father was 25, and we had been together for 7 years at that point. Being a mom is hard, especially at such a young age. My boyfriend was working a job he hated, and we lived in a house owned by my mother and were only able to pay her for utilities. I stayed home full time until she was almost two when I started to go to school for med. assisiting. Things got really bad in our relationship, and we broke up when she was 2.5. Then I met another guy(my husband), and got pregnant at 25 with my son. It's been really hard, and at times I wonder if my husband and I will make it. Sometimes I think he resents me for "forcing" him into fatherhood and marriage. I was not successful at medical assisting. In fact, I highly discourage anyone from doing it. My husband works two jobs and is never home. We struggle majorly financially, and never take trips and rarely go out to eat. My son is in the midst of the terrible twos, and I never get to go out by myself. I wish I could work, but childcare alone would set us back at least $300 a week and I don't have the skills to get a job that would make working worth it. As hard and boring and stressful as my life is, I love my kids so much. I always say I can't understand how people don't want children. It's what we are meant to do. It sucks so much that your family is so unsupportive at a time when you need them the most. My parents have always been there for us, and have gone far above and beyond to make things better for my family. I love them so much. It will be a lot harder to establish yourself in a career after you have a child, but I admire you for making the choice you have. I am pro choice, but I totally understand why women want to keep their babies. Good luck!
I admire your candor. It made me want to cry and inspired me all at once. I love when people can be honest about life and still find the beauty in it all. Thank you for sharing.0 -
You've had a lot of responses to this so I don't know if you'll see mine but I was 16 y/o when I got pregnant.........I got married and had my son when I was 17 y/o. My boyfriend was 18 y/o, he joined the Air Force. We struggled but he at least had a good job. I finished high school in Denver Co. where we got stationed. I remember that he had to sign my report cards my senior year. Boy did we laugh at that. Anyway, we had our second son when I was 19 y/o.. things were tough but we did the best we could. But try as hard as we did we didn't make it and divorced after 6 years. As I single parent of 2 boys I enrolled in a business school and took classes to become a CMA-I was on assistance while I was in school but then I got a good job after school that allowed me to buy a house on my own and pay my bills and support myself and my boys. The boys father remained in their lives as much as he could, he also went on to school and now has a law degree. He was off and on with child support when the boys were younger, I know he tried. Sometime I worked 2 jobs when it was needed. Yes it was hard- but I have 2 grown boys now ages 24 and 21 who are well adjusted and doing fine. I think the most important thing and the thing I see missing in so many "young" parents is sacrifice. I feel when you have kids you need to put their needs before yours and that includes partying and playing. I only went out on weekends when the boys dad had them. They were my children and my responsibility, not someone else's. I didn't always make the right choices but I knew that they needed to come first. So good luck and just do the best you can- your family will come around. Children are a blessing no matter how old you are. Not everyone is blessed with them so love them. I have always thought that if I could do anyone could.0
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I think the concern would be more about you not being married than being too young. where's the stability for the child? It's not impossible. many women do it, but it's not easy. make sure you have a support system in place before the baby is born and you know who you can count on!0
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I had my first at 20, my second at 21, and then started a enw family with a different man about 5 years later. My oldest two and I survived while I was a single mother and they are fine now. It is horrible to think about what your family will be missing out on. As far as school, it sounds like you can finish it before you have the baby...persiver! You can do this!0
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I was 18 when I had my first son, and he is now 16. I wouldn't change it for the world. He is the love of my life. Well I have 3 children and all of them are the light of my life.0
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My fiance' and I found out we were pregnant when I was 25. No big deal execpt 1) we weren't married - my parents flipped and 2) he just graduated from college and didn't have a job. I was the only one working and supporting us until about 6months into the pregnancy when he found a job. Being unemployed and pregnant can feel difficult, but if your partner is supportive in more than just words, you'll make it through. Even though my fiance wasn't working, he made sure our apartment was clean, dinner was hot, and came to all of my prenatal appointments. Right now you're laying the foundation for yourself and your child. I work at a college and I see so many people drop out because they're pregnant - like its a sickness. then they never come back and get stuck in the same dead end job until their child graduates. You're doing a great thing for your baby by pushing through. Also, don't worry about your parents -as soon as baby gets close to making his/her appearance they'll come around. My mother is over nearly every weekend to see our now 8mth old daughter.0
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OP, I'm 23 and I'm the OLDEST woman on both sides of my family to have kids, and I don't have any yet. It's not too young at all. (In fact, I've been told I am rapidly getting old and should already have kids by now.) It's just a matter of perspective. You're too young; I'm too old; It's no one's business but ours. As for school, you can finish your schooling at anytime, now or in the future. My mom worked on her degree (as a young single mother of three) one class at a time for over ten years and is finally getting her degree. You can do anything you set your mind to honey!
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I was 21 when my daughter was born and when she was nine months old I started school, I've done two years, with two and a half to go. We have very little in the way of spending money but it'll all be worth it for my family when it's over. You can do it, it will just be harder for a while.0
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I was 23 when I had my daughter and then she had my grandchild at 19. She chose not to get married and is doing fine.
People need to mind their own business and quit bashing!0 -
So I recently just found out that I am pregnant. I do not believe in abortion, and I am for sure willing to own up to my responsiblity. My boyfriend is very supportive as well, although the thing is.. I recently just left my job to go back to school, it is hard finding another job these days otherwise I would've saved money if I knew I'd get pregnant
I know no matter what I will strive to be the best mom I can be, I may be very "young" to alot of people, but I would love to hear any stories from young mothers who are holding up strong with their child today, and who HAS MADE IT if there was a struggle along with being pregnant at a "young" age. My mother & family aren't speaking to me as of this day and think I am so stupid and crazy for having a child. Please.. I need the support....
I'm worried about being unemployed.. my bf is working, I am going to a ROP program for school which is about a 6-8 month program for medical assisting / billing & coding, I cannot afford going to another school right now.. I hope I can make it, I know it will be a struggle but I also know it'll be worth it.
Hi i am 23 and i have 3 toddlers all under the age of 5 i do know what its like to have kids at a young age my first being when i was 18 i also dont have contact with my own family they had issues with me even wanting to be with my husband (which i have been with for 6 years now) it is hard but so worth it in the end i love my girls to death. please feel free to add me as a friend if you ever need/want advice or just someone to talk to who has gone through almost the same thing (i never had a job iam and always have been a full time mom) Good Luck! 0 -
You must not be from the south.
This is what I was thinking. I know a LOT of my friend were married and had children by 23.0 -
A baby is a blessing, no matter when it comes! I did not have children young, but my mom did. My sister was also a teenage mother. Don't let anyone else bring you down. You will be a good mom if you want to! There is never a perfect time to have a child. If anyone waited for that, no one would have kids! It's great that you're having your child young... more time and energy to enjoy them! God bless!0
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