The most annoying 'compliment'?

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Replies

  • changeofideas
    changeofideas Posts: 14
    mine was "you dont look too bad considering youve had a child..."

    ugh worse one for me too. i mean really it should be a compliment because having a baby really does change everything about the body but... id prefer it to be less noticeable
  • amkelley
    amkelley Posts: 81
    mine was "you dont look too bad considering youve had a child..."

    I have had 3 kids in 3 years and everyone says I look great for having 3 kids in 3 years....I dont want to look great for having 3 kids in 3 years people- I just want to look great!! Thank you very much!!!
  • Burlesque12
    Burlesque12 Posts: 177 Member
    So what is the appropriate way to compliment someone who has lost weight? Whether or not I am at my goal, I am happy when it is noticed. Just take the compliment and dont analyze it. Its motivating and means whatever your doing is working! Let the snyde compliments go in one ear and out the other.
  • xdaysbingefree
    xdaysbingefree Posts: 98 Member
    Bump! I want to read this later
  • Gyoza11
    Gyoza11 Posts: 143 Member
    Not really a compliment, my friend keeps saying how I was never fat to begin with and don't need to lose weight. Yes I was/am!!
  • bellyake3
    bellyake3 Posts: 135 Member
    The most annoying compliment I've gotten was the one before the BUT.."You are looking great BUT!!!"........ AAARRRGG!
  • reserge
    reserge Posts: 17 Member
    I hate the "skinny mini" comments. They make me feel really uncomfortable. I am not skinny, nor will I ever be. I am big boned and muscular and still 10kg over a healthy BMI. And it is always smaller people who say this.

    I have been told I shouldn't lose anymore as I am gaunt in the shoulderblades/sternum area. Too bad my *kitten* and guts are still fat!

    One aquaintance who is the same size as I used to be, always says something like "Oh you are still losing weight, you lucky b*tch". I find this so offensive. The first time she said it I snapped back with "More like I am still running at least 5k every 2nd day and DESERVE to lose weight". That shut her up that time, but she still says it everytime she sees me.

    But she is the same person who asks me how have lost the weight then when I tell her about Couch to 5k she says "oh I could never run" in a relieved voice, as if she is happy I did something she couldn't do so she doesn't have to try. When I reply "Oh but I couldn't run either until C25K" she just dismisses me. It is as if she wants me to say "Oh, to lose weight I just ate whatever I wanted and did no exercise but bathed in a bath of chocolate milk everynight and it just melted away!" Sorry babe, it takes hard work, not LUCK!
  • dasblondie
    dasblondie Posts: 100 Member
    Not a compliment, but because I'm not overweight people ask me why I log my food and count calories..

    It can get annoying when they don't understand that I need to be aware of what's going into my body and that if I don't keep track I'll eat everything and become overweight. :P

    ^
    This....oh what are you afraid to gain a pound??? or......You are obsessive.....No...i just want to know what im eatting
  • DOElston
    DOElston Posts: 102
    "You've lost a ton of weight"!

    Contrary to their observation, I never weighed over 2000 lbs nor do I think I looked like I did. I also agree about loathing the "pretty face" line, as well.
  • maparapa22
    maparapa22 Posts: 23
    "you look great" but it's with a condescending voice tone and they look you up and down. Not cool.
  • katenmills
    katenmills Posts: 113 Member
    This thread is... frustrating/confusing. You say, "you're looking great!" to someone and they get offended, thinking that you didn't think they looked great before. well, sorry to be blunt, but did YOU think you looked the best you could before? surely it's part of the reason you decided to lose the weight? Or you say "hey, did you lose weight?", wanting to acknowledge their success, and they get annoyed and think to themselves something sarcastic like "naaaaaaaaah, guess it just decided to up and leave!?" BUT, if you take what has evidently become the safest route and say nothing - don't compliment them/acknowledge their weightloss at all - they get angry and discouraged that nobody's said anything. i've literally seen a forum topic where the OP was asking "when are people gonna start noticing!"

    why can't people start taking compliments for their face value, there's almost never any secret malice behind it. stop analysing them to death. each person reacts to compliments differently and it's a sensitive subject so cut the complimenter some slack.
  • deez2015
    deez2015 Posts: 54 Member
    "wow, you've lost a lot of weight...divorce will do that to ya"....uh NO! i busted my butt to lose the weight, losing him was a bonus :laugh:
  • Natp274
    Natp274 Posts: 36 Member
    "You're so fit I hate you" this from a friend who's slimmer than me
    "You should do more of ..." suddenly EVERYONE is a personal trainer
  • prettyxpetite
    prettyxpetite Posts: 14 Member
    "Wow that dress looks so much better on you now!"

    Oh so I looked bad in it before? Thanks for letting me know
  • aamb
    aamb Posts: 377 Member
    we have very dear friends who are 'feeders' they could do with joining me on here, but it all seems too much for them lol, anyway, they were staying at the weekend and they had the breakfast my hubbie made.... a good old scottish fry up, i had my usual fruit and yogurt. we are going on holiday soon with these folks and they know how much i have lost, and when i sed i would like to lose another 7lbs before holidays, but seemed to be stuck, he sed.... 'maybe you have reached your optimum weight'....BAH, i need to lose at least another 18lbs to be anything near that!!!
  • tuesgirl1031
    tuesgirl1031 Posts: 13 Member
    I get all the time, "You look fine the way you are". At this point in my long struggle, Im not really looking for compliments. Right now Im looking for "Way to go" when I have lost a little, or "Good job" when I worked out.
  • wookiemouse
    wookiemouse Posts: 290 Member
    Anything that has the word "lucky" in it. You're so lucky to lose weight! You're so lucky to be able to wear a size smaller! Really? Completely cleaning up my diet, no refined sugar, no eating out, working out for an hour a day 3x a week, and counting calories daily ISN'T "luck."
  • prism6
    prism6 Posts: 484 Member
    Hw about..Wow,you look sooo much better now.
  • TheFitHooker
    TheFitHooker Posts: 3,357 Member
    This thread is... frustrating/confusing. You say, "you're looking great!" to someone and they get offended, thinking that you didn't think they looked great before. well, sorry to be blunt, but did YOU think you looked the best you could before? surely it's part of the reason you decided to lose the weight? Or you say "hey, did you lose weight?", wanting to acknowledge their success, and they get annoyed and think to themselves something sarcastic like "naaaaaaaaah, guess it just decided to up and leave!?" BUT, if you take what has evidently become the safest route and say nothing - don't compliment them/acknowledge their weightloss at all - they get angry and discouraged that nobody's said anything. i've literally seen a forum topic where the OP was asking "when are people gonna start noticing!"

    why can't people start taking compliments for their face value, there's almost never any secret malice behind it. stop analysing them to death. each person reacts to compliments differently and it's a sensitive subject so cut the complimenter some slack.

    So is it ok for someone to tell someone else they look like a porn star? When you know they did not mean it as a compliment? Is it ok for someone to tell you to stop losing weight because you are melting away when you are not even in the healthy range yet? Is it ok for people to tell a person who is over weight to stop eating because they are to fat? How about this one, is it ok for someone to tell you "Oh you quit smoking, and now you're fat"? It's not ok to make comments on people's weight even if they are thin and you are giving them a "Compliment" and think it'll make them feel good by saying "You're melting away" or "You are looking to thin" because truth be told I look to thin to those who know me because they never seen me thin before. I enjoy the compliments that sound like this, "Your hard work has paid off, you look great". However the "OMG! You are looking sick, you need to go shove a hamburger down your throat, maybe a few of them?" Those are rude.
  • ajball90
    ajball90 Posts: 211 Member
    you have such a pretty face!

    This!
  • xxTAMxx
    xxTAMxx Posts: 573 Member
    "Ooooooh! You've lost all your *kitten*!" :/
  • SashaMegan
    SashaMegan Posts: 110 Member
    After a weight loss: "you'velost weight!! I can see it from your face,it's thinner!" :sick:


    Okay...Thanks... my *kitten* appreciates!! :huh:
  • Princess4u324k
    Princess4u324k Posts: 12 Member
    Ugh I HATE this one!!!

    Every time I have ever mentioned trying to lose a little weight to any of my guy friends they say that I am "hotter" being a "curvy" girl...

    yeah...maybe they like curvy girls...but being over 200lbs at only 5'3" is not healthy.
    and with my body shape even if I were to get down to a healthy weight again I still have curves...they are just smaller :-P and I would feel better about myself...and would have more energy to play with my baby. :-)
  • katenmills
    katenmills Posts: 113 Member
    This thread is... frustrating/confusing. You say, "you're looking great!" to someone and they get offended, thinking that you didn't think they looked great before. well, sorry to be blunt, but did YOU think you looked the best you could before? surely it's part of the reason you decided to lose the weight? Or you say "hey, did you lose weight?", wanting to acknowledge their success, and they get annoyed and think to themselves something sarcastic like "naaaaaaaaah, guess it just decided to up and leave!?" BUT, if you take what has evidently become the safest route and say nothing - don't compliment them/acknowledge their weightloss at all - they get angry and discouraged that nobody's said anything. i've literally seen a forum topic where the OP was asking "when are people gonna start noticing!"

    why can't people start taking compliments for their face value, there's almost never any secret malice behind it. stop analysing them to death. each person reacts to compliments differently and it's a sensitive subject so cut the complimenter some slack.

    So is it ok for someone to tell someone else they look like a porn star? When you know they did not mean it as a compliment? Is it ok for someone to tell you to stop losing weight because you are melting away when you are not even in the healthy range yet? Is it ok for people to tell a person who is over weight to stop eating because they are to fat? How about this one, is it ok for someone to tell you "Oh you quit smoking, and now you're fat"? It's not ok to make comments on people's weight even if they are thin and you are giving them a "Compliment" and think it'll make them feel good by saying "You're melting away" or "You are looking to thin" because truth be told I look to thin to those who know me because they never seen me thin before. I enjoy the compliments that sound like this, "Your hard work has paid off, you look great". However the "OMG! You are looking sick, you need to go shove a hamburger down your throat, maybe a few of them?" Those are rude.



    er... what? I was specifically addressing the two example compliments that I gave (they have been popular answers in this thread) and how if somebody says either of THOSE TWO to you, i'm sure there's rarely hidden malice behind them. I was not generalising every comment anyone has ever made about you in the history of your life. Soz you got called a porn star.
  • Sb65513n
    Sb65513n Posts: 131 Member
    I got "You have a waist now....." I'm sorry I had one before!
  • ronanoo
    ronanoo Posts: 37 Member
    My aunt said '3 stone nearly? sure you won't be losing anymore' :s 20 stone down to nearly 17st.

    When i feel fit, happy in myself and can wear decent clothes, then i will stop!
  • kneeki
    kneeki Posts: 347 Member
    "How is roid rage treating you?"

    Makes me die a little every time.
  • Jodieh75
    Jodieh75 Posts: 60 Member
    Good topic, I have a few of these. . . When I lost a bunch of weight before it drove me nuts when people would tell me I lost weight, not compliment me or ask if I have they would just say "hey you've lost weight" like it happened behind my back when I wasn't looking, I never know what to say back. Also when people start telling you where they can see it and analysing your body like, "hey you've lost weight haven't you, you can really see it in your face," etc. These are usually the same people who chow down fried noodles for lunch and like to tell me what the best diet plans are. The absolute worst, and I know it is meant to be nice, but when someone says "hey you've lost weight, you look good," like I just looked awful before. That one always makes me chuckle.

    This exactly! I also don't know how best to respond to the "You've lost weight" statement. I usually just go with "Yes I have". I mean, they haven't given me a compliment so saying thank you would sound wrong!

    And telling me not to lose anymore. I'm not even in the healthy BMI weight yet, 4 more kgs to go till then. I think they might be jealous.
  • 2kidzlater
    2kidzlater Posts: 134 Member
    how about when you gain weight and people say you look like you lost weight.
  • LiddyBit
    LiddyBit Posts: 447 Member
    "Careful, you don't want to lose your boobs or butt!"

    Um, yes, I do. Not everyone aspires to look like a Kardashian.

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