The most annoying 'compliment'?

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  • LaSutopia
    LaSutopia Posts: 1,195 Member
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    Good topic, I have a few of these. . . When I lost a bunch of weight before it drove me nuts when people would tell me I lost weight, not compliment me or ask if I have they would just say "hey you've lost weight" like it happened behind my back when I wasn't looking, I never know what to say back. Also when people start telling you where they can see it and analysing your body like, "hey you've lost weight haven't you, you can really see it in your face," etc. These are usually the same people who chow down fried noodles for lunch and like to tell me what the best diet plans are. The absolute worst, and I know it is meant to be nice, but when someone says "hey you've lost weight, you look good," like I just looked awful before. That one always makes me chuckle.

    I would go with..."holy ****, When did that happen, I didn't notice...guess i better go find it!" or if they are fat/fatter "And I see you were nice enough to find it for me!"
  • laurieblair2012
    laurieblair2012 Posts: 106
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    I've lost 49 pounds, which is almost halfway to my goal of 110 total lost. People keep telling me things like, "Oh, no...you can't possibly lose another 61 pounds. That's too thin." Really?? Tell that to every BMI and healthy weight chart around. Sometime before I shuffle off this mortal coil, I WILL be within my healthy weight range. Mark my words...too thin be damned. ;)
  • 10acity
    10acity Posts: 798 Member
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    you have such a pretty face!

    This the absolute worst ever. It isn't a compliment at all, and the few times I've been on the receiving end, it was coming from insecure women who wanted me to know that despite my confidence, I was still somehow beneath them.

    "I think what you meant to say was I'M PRETTY. Yes, I know, thank you."
  • LaSutopia
    LaSutopia Posts: 1,195 Member
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    mine was "you dont look too bad considering youve had a child..."

    yes...I hear "you can hardly tell you had 2 kids" or "you look good for having 2 kids" Or they think that my weight loss is because i have 2 kids....I have gotten these as well

    "what did you do, just stop eating?" "you must be starving"---like the only way to lose weight is to stop eating, cause they are to lazy to learn how to eat right, or just plain don't want to do it.

    "do you wanna bring all these leftovers (including a whole pie) home to eat later?....No I don't need all that in my house....Well them kids and your husband might want it, just cause you stopped eating don't mean they have to suffer"
    or a close second.....
    "buy them kids some icecream (or enter whatever other junk food you can think of), just cause you are on a diet does not mean they are!" I AM NOT ON A DIET! I JUST STOPPED EATING SO MUCH **** AND STARTED EATING LIKE WE WERE MADE TO EAT. healthier and smaller portions.

    "you really need to stop losing weight, you look great now but you will look bad if you don't stop"----no, it will just make your fat *kitten* feel even worse when I look that much better! 163 lbs is not underweight and my goal of 150 is not anorexic or unhealthy!! I have flab I wanna lose and I will not look bad if I do.

    oh my...i could go on and on...I have heard a lot of the ones already posted to.
  • 10acity
    10acity Posts: 798 Member
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    This thread is... frustrating/confusing. You say, "you're looking great!" to someone and they get offended, thinking that you didn't think they looked great before. well, sorry to be blunt, but did YOU think you looked the best you could before? surely it's part of the reason you decided to lose the weight? Or you say "hey, did you lose weight?", wanting to acknowledge their success, and they get annoyed and think to themselves something sarcastic like "naaaaaaaaah, guess it just decided to up and leave!?" BUT, if you take what has evidently become the safest route and say nothing - don't compliment them/acknowledge their weightloss at all - they get angry and discouraged that nobody's said anything. i've literally seen a forum topic where the OP was asking "when are people gonna start noticing!"

    why can't people start taking compliments for their face value, there's almost never any secret malice behind it. stop analysing them to death. each person reacts to compliments differently and it's a sensitive subject so cut the complimenter some slack.

    The only "compliments" I have ever been offended by were backhanded in the first place, or part of a larger issue (when I lost a lot of weight several years ago my mother started harrassing me on a very regular basis telling me I "better not lose anymore" ... that wasn't a compliment, it was discouraging and annoying and just made me feel like I couldn't win no matter what I did). Most comments people have made regarding my weight loss have been appreciated and ego-boosting. One woman asked where the rest of me had gone... which I thought was hilarious. I was also happy to tell her exactly where it had gone. Don't stop complimenting people (unless you can't seem to keep your foot out of your mouth, I guess?). I usually just go with "you look great!" and if someone wants to infer some meaning that is not there, he or she has bigger issues than my compliment, anyway.


    "You have such a pretty face" is just something no one should say (especially if it follows a "but"). The implicit meaning there is "but there is really something wrong with the rest of you". Or it's as if you were thinking "boy, it's too bad you're fat/old/wrinkly/etc" and decided to make the next part audible "but you have such a pretty face!"
  • dancinrascal
    dancinrascal Posts: 204 Member
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    "You need some meat on your bones."
    "Go eat a cheeseburger."
    "Would you like some cake? Oh, wait your trying to be good"
    "Do you eat?"

    BUT MY FAVORITE EVER....is when I will occasionally eat some ice cream or a cookie and my friend will be like omg your eating THAT? I respond...yeah no food is off limits I just don't eat it all the time. I can treat myself every once in a while. Or once when she wanted to go to panera for lunch and I wasn't too hungry so i said i would just go sit with her and I ended up ordering a small bowl of vegetable soup for a snack. She literally said, "So you caved huh? You had to get something." ...um no I just decided I was a little hungry....its like she wants me to eat horribly...probably because she feels bad about herself and always complains about her thighs even though she isn't close to over weight. I hate how everyone thinks a diet = starving yourself and refusing to eat normal food.
  • awmejia
    awmejia Posts: 147 Member
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    Have you had gastric bypass is my favorite
  • taahine01
    taahine01 Posts: 120 Member
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    While I agree that some compliments can be barbs coated in sugar or just rude statements (i.e - "you have such a pretty face," "you're wasting away," wow, you're like skin and bones now," etc), statements like -

    "Hey, you lost weight"
    "Wow, you've lost quite a bit of weight"
    "Your face looks slimmer"

    or comments of that sort, for me personally, is exactly what it is - a compliment w/ no hidden agenda....It's usually said because they notice the difference as opposed to how it was before.....if there was no difference, there wouldn't be any comment on it....And comments on losing weight or face getting slimmer is always a compliment because then, you know you're doing something right and your progress is starting to show.....so take it as it is -- as a compliment and......thats it!!!
    No over-analyzing or assumptions needed.....but then again, its how WE take things....
  • dmf711
    dmf711 Posts: 141 Member
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    "you know you'd really look better if you lost another 30 pounds" THANKS GRANDMA
  • jackiekerr63
    jackiekerr63 Posts: 33 Member
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    mine has to be my mum, "gosh you are really doing well losing weight............ do want some cake with your coffee............ can i get you a biscuit.............. here have a chocolate :S x
  • territhefrog
    territhefrog Posts: 1,134 Member
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    Maybe next time we should act shocked.


    HAHAHA!! I lost weight?!?!?! Where??? Can you help me find it?!?!

    Oh I am so going to use this one.
  • snookumss
    snookumss Posts: 1,451 Member
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    This was seriously said to me by a gym employee.

    Front counter clerk sees me after not having seen me in about 30lbs loss. Wow, you look so skinny! Next time I see you, you'll be anorexic!



    *screeches to halt...* Wait what?

    Seriously...
  • Wonderob
    Wonderob Posts: 1,372 Member
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    Left as a reply to a cousin who had posted a status update on FB saying that she had lost 30lbs

    "Well done but why are you trying to lose so much weight when you're already married?"

    I'm not sure if the implication was 'women usually diet so they look at their best for their wedding day' or 'Women only lose weight to attract men'
  • MollyMinx
    MollyMinx Posts: 14
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    "Your not fat! You dont need to loose weight! Im fat and NEED to loose weight! " Says the person who has no fat on them...

    I hate that!!!
  • Carfoodel
    Carfoodel Posts: 481 Member
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    I work weekends and for at least the last month every weekend I go in - anything between 4 or about a dozen people say "wow you look great", "what a difference you look great", "I can see it in your face" "how did you do it." I know my face is much slimmer I can see the difference now - I still get a shock when i look down in the shower and my legs are slimmer than I expect to see them - so I guess it is natural that people want to say something - yeah it can be tactless the way some people comment - but it's not meant as an insult, it's just people being pleased for me and wanting to acnowledge it. its not always easy to have the perfect way of saying something complimentary. - and words can be clumsy.
  • Jxnsmma
    Jxnsmma Posts: 919 Member
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    My grandpa once told me it was ok to be a little "husky".... sigh.
  • AlexanderK1994
    AlexanderK1994 Posts: 243 Member
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    Not really annoying, I find it quite funny actually... one of my friends, every time I start talking about how much I've lost or how much exercise I've done, pats my belly and says "yeah, you have lost weight". I think I'm a pear (I carry most of my weight in my thighs). *facepalm* Well... xD It's a compliment anyway :)
  • InTheInbetween
    InTheInbetween Posts: 192 Member
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    (I've lost 2 pounds this week) ~ Oh dear, do you want me to lend to you some? (Someone will get out wallet and give me money)

    Ok this literally made me lol! :tongue:
    I totally understand how that would be annoying though!
  • Jeepers133
    Jeepers133 Posts: 110 Member
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    mine has to be my mum, "gosh you are really doing well losing weight............ do want some cake with your coffee............ can i get you a biscuit.............. here have a chocolate :S x


    Sounds like my mom! She brings food over all the time! Fried fish, gumbo, cakes, pies!!! She commented the other day on how fat my dog was getting! Haha!
  • lucamp
    lucamp Posts: 29 Member
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    "Don't you feel better than you did before?"

    I absolutely hate this comment. I really didn't feel bad as a fat person but was worried about my future health and ready to like to shop for clothes again.

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