Whaddya mean by "I'm proud of you?"

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  • yoovie
    yoovie Posts: 17,121 Member
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    On the other hand.... when someone tells me they are proud of me, I am certain they are mocking me or just trying to make me feel better... so please know that I am taking my own advice. Im not offended by it... but I do feel as though it's given out like a pity cookie.

    ohhhhh you deadlifted 70 pounds, that's so cute Im so pwoud of yooooo *bops nose*

    fml
  • ChaseAlder
    ChaseAlder Posts: 804 Member
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    I hate it when people tell me they're proud of me. What a drag.
  • LindaCWy
    LindaCWy Posts: 463 Member
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    Why is everyone complaining about compliments so much?

    Take it with a grain of salt and move on or wear a burka at all times so no one can see you.

    Some people don't have tact or are socially awkward we all can't be the same.

    Gees
  • garita93
    garita93 Posts: 276 Member
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    I really think a lot of people are missing the point of the OP, she is not speaking of everyone on here saying they are proud of you. Everyone on here knows the daily struggles that we face. Someone who doesn't see you log in and calculate your food and exercise your butt off. Those who are saying they are proud of you, who don't now your daily struggles, what do they know what to be proud of???
  • cgsr
    cgsr Posts: 113
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    hmm, well after looking up proud in a few different dictionaries, I came up wit the most neutral definition...

    Feeling pleasurable satisfaction over an act, possession, quality, or relationship by which one measures one's stature or self-worth

    Now then, everyone knows how difficult it can be to loose weight, and mostly everyone either has gone down that path or knows someone that has...so if I tell someone that I don't know particularily well that I'm proud of their weight loss...the pride can come from different aspects...my having lost weight and appreciating the effort, happy for them if I can tell they're happy...etc

    I could go on and on, but I am proud of the fact that I can stop typing and get back to work...geez
  • LauraSmyth28
    LauraSmyth28 Posts: 399 Member
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    My fiancé, my parents, my best friend.....these people can say they are proud of me. I would say I was proud of them if they accomplished something. I am also very proud of my children when they learn to do anything new.

    I don't understand why this statement would annoy anyone....unless it was someone you're not close to? Then they're a bit weird for saying it.
  • zCarsAndCaloriesz
    zCarsAndCaloriesz Posts: 348
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    Can't other people's expressions of well-wishing and admiration of accomplishment be just that, and not some offensive thing that folks have to rant about?

    Why not just take the expression of admiration and support with a little courtesy rather than bashing the few people left who are actually thing to be polite, even if they are a little clumsy about it?

    I completely agree with this.
  • jcstanton
    jcstanton Posts: 1,849 Member
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    I don't know why this bugs me... But now that I have lost enough weight for it to be noticeable, there are people who say stuff to me like "You've lost weight? I'm so proud of you!" WTH exactly does that mean??? What did they have to do with it?? They know nothing about the how's or why's involved in either my journey into obesity or my journey out of it.... They are not the least bit involved in my day-to-day struggle to make better choices, they have not been cheerleaders in my corner keeping me motivated, sharing NSV moments. They might be "friends" but this part of my life, they are not a part of. Why the heck should they have any sense of pride about my success thus far?? The next one who says this just might get called out on it, which should be interesting because these comments usually seem to take place in the foyer of my church between services....

    Anyone on MFP who says "I'm proud of you!" - well, that I accept! My MFPeeps have been here with me cheering me on and celebrating each lb lost and each minute of exercise (and I hope I do the same for them), and I have a small handful of RL friends who share this very personal journey with me and give me encouragement and support. They can be proud of me, they have been a part of the success. But when I reach that goal weight and celebrate, the fringe element that wants to be "proud of me" for no reason, well they will not be invited to partake of the victory rice cake!!

    (end vent/thanks for listening....)

    I don't think they're implying that they had anything to do with it. They're just acknowledging the fact that you've been working hard to do something good for your body. That's all. Take it for what it is...a compliment to you.
  • TylerJ76
    TylerJ76 Posts: 4,375 Member
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    Those who are saying they are proud of you, who don't now your daily struggles, what do they know what to be proud of???

    For losing weight?
    For becoming healthier?
  • yoovie
    yoovie Posts: 17,121 Member
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    @CGSR dude... you've lost 40 pounds and you still dont know that its 'lose' weight not 'loose' weight?

    sorry. could. not. help. myself.

    Im proud for you on all your weight loss though!
  • BeeElMarvin
    BeeElMarvin Posts: 2,086 Member
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    Never mind. Do it on your own. They were trying to show you support, FFS.
  • TylerJ76
    TylerJ76 Posts: 4,375 Member
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    I hate it when people tell me they're proud of me. What a drag.

    31lbs lost?

    I'm SO proud of you!!!!:flowerforyou:
  • bcattoes
    bcattoes Posts: 17,299 Member
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    I really think a lot of people are missing the point of the OP, she is not speaking of everyone on here saying they are proud of you. Everyone on here knows the daily struggles that we face. Someone who doesn't see you log in and calculate your food and exercise your butt off. Those who are saying they are proud of you, who don't now your daily struggles, what do they know what to be proud of???

    Are you seriuously suggesting that only MFP members know that losing weight can be a struggle?? There is an entire diet industry dedicated to making money off that struggle. EVERYONE knows it.
  • chm2616
    chm2616 Posts: 434 Member
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    I have had 2 people (my hubby and a very close friend) tell me that they are proud of me, and I accept it with a smile. They recognize that I am working hard at acheiving a goal and they see that I am sticking to it! :smile:
  • 10acity
    10acity Posts: 798 Member
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    I really think a lot of people are missing the point of the OP, she is not speaking of everyone on here saying they are proud of you. Everyone on here knows the daily struggles that we face. Someone who doesn't see you log in and calculate your food and exercise your butt off. Those who are saying they are proud of you, who don't now your daily struggles, what do they know what to be proud of???

    But like I mentioned earlier, "I'm proud of you" isn't a backhanded compliment. The intent (unless there's a whole lotta history the OP left out) is just to pay a compliment. To recognize the hard work done. How is that bad? And like someone else said, it's most likely an "I'm proud to know you" sort of thing... I'm proud to have friends and family who are hard-working, dedicated, kind, intelligent people. There's something wrong with that?
  • vim_n_vigor
    vim_n_vigor Posts: 4,089 Member
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    You are upset because people are proud of you and they didn't do the work with you? You can't be happy that someone is sharing kind words with you and acknowledging your accomplishments? Do you try so hard to control other aspects of other people's lives beyond the things they are trying to say to be nice to you? Let go and enjoy the fact that you have people in your life that care enough about you to say anything kind at all. Plenty of us don't have that much. :flowerforyou:
  • korsicash
    korsicash Posts: 770 Member
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    Funny you should post this. I feel weird telling someone I am proud of them. They put in the work and I cheered how is this anything to do with me. I much prefer "I am proud for you" I know it is pretty much the same thing BUT in my eyes I am expressing an emotion of go you and one that puts the emphasis on their hard work. Maybe I look too hard into the word "for" but all my MFP friends when you see me post "I am proud for you" I am expressing an emotion of go you, and that you should be proud!
  • stringsNlinks
    stringsNlinks Posts: 293 Member
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    I hate it when people tell me they're proud of me. What a drag.

    31lbs lost?

    I'm SO proud of you!!!!:flowerforyou:

    and 18 lbs lost...I AM SO PROUD OF YOU!
    and now I need to go to work so my boss will be proud of ME!
  • Minoesh
    Minoesh Posts: 105 Member
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    I personally will take any compliment and words of encouragement that come my way - I have worked damn hard to get where I am and love it when people are nice enough to notice and comment - even if I haven't seen them in 5 years and they haven't been part of the journey!!! Every tiny bit of encouragement spurs me on to achieve my goal - BRING IT ON!!! :happy:
  • jackpotclown
    jackpotclown Posts: 3,291 Member
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    Sad part is we're all answering to someone who can't handle a compliment....the reality is there was no good answer (or good enough)....you could say "hey good job" and the reaction will be "really? is that all you have to say?"....or you could say "I'm proud of you" and it infers that "oh, so you're my parents and I'm like your kid now"....but either way you strike me as someone who can't handle a compliment...so here goes.....you did work.....you appear to weigh less...I hope knowing that feels good \m/

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