Does anyone else NOT want kids?

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  • _VoV
    _VoV Posts: 1,494 Member
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    I will NEVER have children and I just laugh it off when people
    say I will and act like it's a funny joke. No one can be offended
    then and it gets the point across without having to be *****y.

    I dislike anyone discounting someone's thoughts as a 'stage' they may be going through. Many younger people know exactly what they want, and I think it's obnoxious to have some old know-it-all say you'll change your mind. If you do--good. And if you don't--good.
  • breezymom81
    breezymom81 Posts: 499 Member
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    So I just turned 28 and I am married. I have always said "kids aren't my thing". My husband is on the fence and might like one but knows how I feel. I suppose many Mother in Laws & mothers are this way where they will constantly talk about babies or ask about when I plan on having kids, since I am getting to the age where I would need to decide soon. How do you say that you don't want them? My MIL keeps talking about my husband holding our new niece as "good practice", but I don't have the heart to tell her how I feel! Any advice?


    Haven't read all the replies ~ I am mother of 2 and let me tell you that I applaude you admitting that you don't want kids! Not every one does being married doesn't mean being parents! It takes a great person to say this~to have kids and not be sure is totally unfair to the kids! I would not respond to your MIL and mother it is their place! This is between you and your hubby!!!
  • Raquelx90
    Raquelx90 Posts: 24
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    It seems like all the girls I graduated HS with have kids now! I'm only 22! They are all nuts! I'm sorry, but I want to do something with my life and be more than just a "mom". But they might think it's so important and impressive, but at this age it's just trashy!

    Yeah, that wasn't a very well thought-out post.

    I'm 22 and have PCOS and if my financial situation was right, I'd already be a mother. It's going to be a struggle for me to even conceive but I know for a fact that I want children. I'm not passing judgement on people who don't want kids; as others have said, why bring someone into the world that you really didn't want in the first place? Heck, even people who have kids and want kids aren't always good parents.

    I really don't see how having children at 22 is "trashy." It's more than above legal age and there's nothing that says you can't do "something with your life" with a child. It will be MUCH harder, I know this first-hand from family members and friends, but it's not impossible.

    *Shrugs*
  • Bobby_Clerici
    Bobby_Clerici Posts: 1,828 Member
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    I do not want kids.
    In fact we have 5....lol I am ready to send them back for a refund.
    Seriously, kids are great, but your whole life changes.
    Think long and hard before becoming a parent. I would not have life any other way.
  • Cliffslosinit
    Cliffslosinit Posts: 5,044 Member
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    To each his or her own. My kids are everything to me.
  • rehey
    rehey Posts: 6
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    http://opinionator.blogs.nytimes.com/2012/06/17/think-before-you-breed/?hp
    A timely piece in the NYT.
  • thunderchld
    thunderchld Posts: 46 Member
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    I am 27, and my husband is 32. Neither of us want kids. I love children but I love the fact I can 'borrow' them more. I am too selfish for kids and I lack the desire to have them. I am the oldest of 6 *youngest sibling is 5* so I know what is is like to raise kids. Yes, I understand it isn't the same as popping them out myself, but I've done the 3am feeding and skipping school to go to the dr.

    I get so annoyed when people tell me I will change my mind. I've had this same opinion for 10 years now. I just don't want kids.

    I like being able to pick up and go for the weekend if I want, or have a beer or two with dinner and not feel guilty about it. Or, hell, I like being able to go, meh, ice cream for dinner is acceptable (not so much anymore, but you get my drift).

    It's great to see so many others who don't want kids. Here where I live, that is not the case at all. Everyone has 2, 3, 4, or 5 kids. That's waaaaay too many!
  • MaddameKat
    MaddameKat Posts: 200 Member
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    As a child i never like children, as an adult i like them even less.

    Women in my office come in with there newborns and know not to come near me. I just don't understand the urge to have children. Not that i am saying people shouldn't have children but they are not for me. I do get insulted when people tell me i'll grow out of it ( i am 28) i feel that is the same as laughing at someone who just gave birth.

    Luckily my OH has a son from many years ago and is not found of children in the 1st place. My parents know i am not about to convert to camp baby so i guess i am lucky not to have the pressure.

    But back to my point, no i don't want children.. yes it is ok not to want children, yes it is ok to want children xx
  • lucythinmint
    lucythinmint Posts: 239
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    Hated kids before I had kids. I have 4 now. I still don't like kids.
    I just have a higher tolerance for my own. :wink:

    If he wont tell her, you have got to do it. It is your body and your choice. In laws can be pushy and if you don't stand your ground they will push you until you snap or cave. Stay strong! :drinker:
  • xjeanie
    xjeanie Posts: 69
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    I don't think this would help you, because it's completely ridiculous, but maybe it'll get you a laugh?

    I'm 26 and a lot of my friends/relatives close in age, are now settling down, marrying, and starting their own families. I'm currently in a relationship, and it's serious, but it's not *that* serious, ya know?

    Last week two different people asked me when I was going to start having children. I thought to myself, "that's not really an appropriate question to ask an unmarried woman. Admittedly, I've nothing against having children while unmarried, but it's usually not the best course of action in most cases."

    I looked at the questioning party each time I was asked, and with a straight face, replied with, "I really just want a puppy. My biological clock is barking."

    There were no further questions.
  • halliedoll
    halliedoll Posts: 171
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    I definitely would much rather just adopt a puppy. lol. Kids drain you financially, emotionally, physically, mentally, and everytother way possible. It takes WAY too long to reap the rewards of parent hood. Plus, kids go through SO many phases and cause parents so much stress and grief and anger. I mean, plus, the responsibility of raising a kid right and making sure they end up ok is just wayyy too much. Adopt a dog with a long life span :happy:
  • halliedoll
    halliedoll Posts: 171
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    I totally agree with xjeanie, just adopt a puppy :D
  • impyimpyaj
    impyimpyaj Posts: 1,073 Member
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    Hated kids before I had kids. I have 4 now. I still don't like kids.
    I just have a higher tolerance for my own. :wink:

    Ha! This is so true. I really don't like other people's children. I'm good with kids, and I can babysit for people, but I don't really enjoy it. I like my own pretty well most of the time, but otherwise, I don't like kids. I especially am not a fan of babies. You can't reason with them. They're completely bizarre. I tolerated the baby stage with both of mine, but I felt clueless most of the time until they started talking.
  • ShilohMaier
    ShilohMaier Posts: 135
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    My MIL actually told me I'd taken away her only reason for living when I said I was't going to have children. I wanted to say "so you'll be dead soon? Yay!!" But I just said "I told your son when he proposed if he ever thought he might want children, he'd better go ask someone else because I NEVER wanted children.

    But... I have a rare corneal disease, and it wouldn't go into remission because of the hormone in my bc pill. The specialist said I needed to switch to a pill with a different hormone. And in about a 4 day window of starting the new pill and quitting the old one, my daughter was conceived. I love her more than anything I ever thought possible- but I have always known myself well enough to know I would not like being a mother, and I was right. I do not like motherhood at all- it has nothing to do with how much I love my daughter, but my stress level is through the roof 24/7.

    p.s.- that psychopath MIL of mine isn't allowed anywhere near my little girl. :bigsmile:
  • prshacklock74
    prshacklock74 Posts: 5
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    You're not alone in this one. In my entire life, I've never had a desire to have children. All through my 20's people kept saying I would change my mind, but I'm 37 and I never have. When I met the man who eventually became my husband, we had a serious discussion about it. Turns out, he felt the same way as I did. We've been married 7 years now, and so far, no regrets for our decision. I do like children too, but I just don't really have the desire to have any myself.
  • cakeums
    cakeums Posts: 231 Member
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    I had one child when I was 19 and she turned out to be such a handful that I didn't want any more. I got married when she was 7 and at first though I might want another with my husband but decided not to when my daughter's behavior got worse. Anyway, when I sent her to live with her dad, I was pretty content with the thought of never having another. Somehow though, despite birth control, I am now 8 weeks pregnant with my first child. I was pretty shocked about it but am happy to be bearing his first child. It will also be interesting to see which one of us this child looks like and acts like. I am looking forward to it. If this is a boy, I am having my tubes tied right afterward to make sure there are no more oopsies, but I'm happy about this oops :). Still, for all those who know they don't want any then that is their right. I would advise having a tubal ligation or having a vasectomy to be 100% sure that no oopsies happen :) though, and so you don't have to worry about the side effects associated with other forms of birth control.

    Wow, you sound really loving. So that daughter you shipped off to live with her dad no longer counts as having been your first child? Sounds like she's better off with her dad.
  • breezymom81
    breezymom81 Posts: 499 Member
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    I really thought I was alone in feeling this way. I'm glad to see there are more SANE people out there!

    It seems like all the girls I graduated HS with have kids now! I'm only 22! They are all nuts! I'm sorry, but I want to do something with my life and be more than just a "mom". But they might think it's so important and impressive, but at this age it's just trashy!

    I never want kids.

    Well- then call me trashy! I had my son at 20, yes I was married and had good job! Then I had my daughter at 23 - again still married (gasp....same father) and opened a bussiness that made a profit for 8 years until I decided to change things! Now I have a10 year old and a 7 year old- both staight A students a husband and a wonderful job!! Some times I am so trashy I scare myself!

    I love both my kids more then anything - always knew I wanted kids and adore them!!! I support anyone brave enough to say they do not want kids- cause hey they are a game changer and don't think anyone needs to have them but I wanted them and could never imagaine being with out my babies!!

    Before you go calling names take a look in the mirror~ only trashy people judge others choices!!!
  • stang_girl88
    stang_girl88 Posts: 234 Member
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    I do not want kids. I have said that since I was a kid and I am 35 now. My husband doesnt want any either- I am glad my inlaws are in another province or I am sure I would hear about having grandbabies. I am the youngest of four girls and only one of us has wanted/had kids. I enjoyed my niece and nephew, I would take them places and whatnot, but to have them full time no way. I like my freedom way too much to be tied down with a kid. My dogs and helping homeless animals is where my heart is at :)
  • dancecentral
    dancecentral Posts: 50 Member
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    I did when I was younger but I struggled a lot with addictions, depression and dysfunctional relationships and could never get my life together and didn't feel it would be would be fair to a kid.. now I'm stable but almost 40 so I doubt I'm going to have any now.. and I'm ok with that..
  • mgmlap
    mgmlap Posts: 1,377 Member
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    I believe it to be my holy duty to help God populate the Earth. I am looking for a good Christian woman to join me in this journey to lose weight and have children.

    First and foremost..rather than populating the earth..you need to take of the little ones that are already here...thats what we did..coudnt "populate" the earth..so we took in what was already here..and you cant tell my daughters werent here from the get-go..no one believes that they are adopted..cause they look so much like me..I only have one answer.."God is Great!"
    But then, they won't be my children.

    wow...all i can say is wow.. so my daughters are not mine..wow...now that is ignorance!

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