Does anyone else NOT want kids?

Now that I've gotten through the whole thread...there's NOTHING WRONG with NOT wanting kids. Nothing at all! Do people change their minds? Yes, sometimes, and that's part of where the pressure from family and friends comes from. They know of so-and-so who suddenly decided one day that they did want kids after all, or what's-her-face who never wanted kids, married, divorced, remarried and changed her mind with her second husband. (I know people in both situations right now, which is why I brought them up.) So that makes them think that everyone will change their mind someday. They don't consider the millions of people who went through life without ever having children, and never felt like they were missing anything! I have two kids and always knew I wanted to have children...but if I hadn't felt that way, then I'm sure I wouldn't know what I was missing had I not had any.

I do agree with the posters who said that this needs to be a conversation that your husband initiates with his mother. It should be his responsibility to tell her what the two of you have decided is best for you and your marriage. You don't want to be the shrew who kept her son from giving her grandchildren. (This could apply to a lot of issues that come up between his mom and the two of you, btw!)

This is sort of related to the topic at hand, sort of not. I always think it's kind of weird when people say they don't want kids and then make disparaging remarks about children (loud, snotty, bratty, etc.) to justify their feelings. You are a parent to an adult child for FAR longer than you're a parent to a developing child, provided that you're each fortunate enough to make it beyond the first 18-22 years or so. Why not just say that you don't want the responsibility of raising another person? (Btw, I have a friend who isn't really big on young kids, but adores adolescents and teenagers. Seriously a special type of patience! She fostered a 13 year old girl and is on the way to adopting her now. Couldn't be happier!)

So Much ignorance out there, it amazes me. if you look at the stastistics there is enough room in TEXAS for everyone on the planet to have one square foot. That is just texas! Come on people. I think there are way to many selfish people in this world, why do you think Germany is at negative population growth.If everyone thinks like this what do you think will happen in 50 years? Good thing your parents didn' t think like you or you would never have been given a chance to experience your wonderful life.

The difference is my parents wanted to have children, I do not. Why should I have a child to please someone else. I need more then one square foot.

You are a parent to an adult child for FAR longer than you're a parent to a developing child, provided that you're each fortunate enough to make it beyond the first 18-22 years or so. Why not just say that you don't want the responsibility of raising another person?

Definitely true and something to think about BEFORE getting pregnant. I see the stuff my parents have had to go through with one of my brothers who was living at home through his twenties, couldn't keep a job, didn't care about getting an education, and I know I do not have the mental energy for it.... or want to deal with the anguish I've seen them go through trying to figure out how to get him to care about his own life. (On a positive note, he just might be getting his act together now. )

No kids for me. Nope. Not gonna happen. Ever.

I just turned 36 and I have no desire and I NEVER had any desire to have kids. I prefer dogs, cats and horses.

Its OK to get turn into a pile of mush when you see a baby or announce to the world that you want kids. Media, society, our families, religion bang it into our heads to have children. HELL! Even has children we are given baby dolls to start the brainwashing when we are young.

Kids are not an 18 yr commitment, the commitment lasts as LONG AS YOU ARE LIVE that is a really long time, its super expensive and honestly the world is going to hell in a hand basket and I would not want to leave it to my children.

i have 2 kids. i didn't want kids before i had them, and i really doubt i will have anymore!

some of us just aren't maternal. i don't think it's weird at all.

Never wanted them but always prepared for the day my wife broke to me that it was time --then one day she said to me "yeah -- I don't want to do that" . Big smile -- since then we've downsized our home to a place for 2, been vacationing 4 times a year, are well planned for retirement -- all good for us. I do have great admiration for parents--the most selfless act is to have a child-- ur life is never ur own again

When I was younger, I was in the same boat as many as you...not wanting children. Then I met the woman I would eventually marry and it was our desire to bring life into this world that was one of our own. Fortunately for us, we were gifted with 2 beautiful daughters. I fell in love the minute I saw them. Love like I'd never felt before...not even for my wife.

The first time they sprint into your arms screaming the word daddy...your heart melts and shines at the same time. It's a remarkable feeling, one that only parents can understand really. Yes, they will anger you. Yes, they will disappoint you and yes, they will drive you crazy...but even with all that...they will LOVE you if you show them the path in which to love.

Fast forward: We are now divorced and I love my daughters just the same as I did back then. Looking at them grow, I'm amazed and honored to be called their "daddy".

I'm one lucky dad.


As for the lady who talks about not having kids as being selfish: get a grip! Mother Theresa didn't have children and she was in NO way selfish. Priests and other clergy have chosen not to marry and they aren't selfish either. Sure, there are selfish people who don't want kids because all they want to do is buy things for themselves, party, etc...and that would be selfish. However, there are many that choose to give in so many ways without having children and that a noble choice.

BTW - what does the 1 square foot have to do with anything, anyway?

Obviously I didn't make myself clear. What I was trying to say was that those who don't want kids because they want THINGS and such in [place of kids tend to be selfish. I really admire people who devote their whole lives to doing for others, like Mother Theresa and priests and clergy and lay people. The whole thing about a square foot was to show that God knows what He is doing and there is plenty of room on this planet for all the people He has created.

I used to want kids because i thought that's what people did. I also used to eat meat for the same reasons. When I realized I didn't have to eat meat or have kids, things changed. I'm only 24 but I really only like kids in small doses, and only if they're quiet and well-behaved and clean. If something accidentally happened I suppose i would accept it but if given the choice I think I'd say no. All of our friends have kids and that's close enough for me.

I agree that it's not really anyone's business ... there's kind of a stigma that if you don't have kids their's something wrong, same as if you aren't married. But that's just not right.

When people make comments I usually say "that won't be for a long time," or I repeatedly use the phrase "if I ever decide I want kids" to make it clear that I'm unsure.

^ Agree

I have a daughter but I totally understand the viewpoint of not having kids. I have more friends that do not have or want kids then friends that have kids and I am jealous of them. They go on tons of vacations, have money and go out during the week without worrying about a babysitter. Sooo lucky.

Never wanted kids, at least once I realized having them was an option! Now 40 and still haven't changed my mind.

So Much ignorance out there, it amazes me. if you look at the stastistics there is enough room in TEXAS for everyone on the planet to have one square foot. That is just texas! Come on people. I think there are way to many selfish people in this world, why do you think Germany is at negative population growth.If everyone thinks like this what do you think will happen in 50 years? Good thing your parents didn' t think like you or you would never have been given a chance to experience your wonderful life.

I hope you don't have children and if you do I hope they are getting a good education from someone other than you.

I was talked into having kids as I always thought it was a selfish thing to do given how damned unpleasant the world can be and is getting and because humanity are already seriously overburdening the planet.

However, I became convinced that I could be a better dad than other people (not hard in some cases) and had two. I got divorced after my wife cheated and she kept the house I'd paid for as we had kids. I hardly saw them after that as they got poisoned by their mum towards me. Now that they are independant I am seeing them now and then which is nice, but its been a long and painful road and not one I'd walk again.

ME! Since I was a kid! No one has ever understood it, and people just assume you're going to go that route. I've set that expectation with both my ex and current husband. I was required to get a hysterectomy back in February due to some lady problems, and couldn't be happier about it!