ugh!! people judge quickly

135678

Replies

  • elenathegreat
    elenathegreat Posts: 3,988 Member
    statistics show that people who live together before marriage are more likely to get divorced than those who did not live together before marriage.

    Oh crap, I'm screwed then! Does this mean we'll get divorced after only 24 years of marriage? Bummer...
    I wouldnt jinx it. Anythings possible

    What would we tell the grandkids?
  • calvert6183
    calvert6183 Posts: 539 Member
    So someone on my FB just made a status saying "If you are not married yet, you shouldn't be living together" and this was meant towards me because before my husband and I got married, we lived together for a few months....

    I see nothing wrong with this! It does not mean we hare having sex just because we live together so stop judging and live your life and leave mine alone

    People are idiots and have no right to judge. You know with the over 50 percent divorce rate and according to studies and stats over 80 percent have cheated so people have no right to judge. You do what makes you happy and dont listen to people. People like to preach and preach but never take a look at their own lives.
  • Bastiencade
    Bastiencade Posts: 81
    statistics show that people who live together before marriage are more likely to get divorced than those who did not live together before marriage.

    What statistics?
    Divorce statistics. Choose whichever source you want. They all say the same thing.

    I didn't live with my husband before we got married. I wanted marriage to be special not just another day of waking up the same way in the same place as the week before but with an extra bit of gold and some new photos on the wall. that was just my opinion about my own situation though. I really don't care what anyone else does (athough I'd discourage it with my kids in the future.)

    Personally, I think it's far more important for someone to live on their own before they get married than to live with their boyfriend/girlfriend. Preferably alone but living on your own with a roommate works too. I just think it's important to learn to manage your own finances, do your own laundry, do your own shopping, cooking, cleaning, bill paying, etc before you get it all tied up with someone else.

    Can you, please, show these statistics? When you make a claim it's your job to show the evidence, not our jobs to figure out if you're right or not. If you're going to spout such idiocy, at least back it up.
  • Reedern
    Reedern Posts: 525 Member
    Too many friendships/relationships are ruined over FB. Read it, and delete it. Don't hold a grudge and just forget about it. You know who you are and you know how you feel. Not worth it to let anyone upset you over dumb comments made on the internet. If they can't tell you in person, it's not worth addressing at all and if they do tell you in person.... let em have it about how it's YOUR business and not thiers and if they don't like it, then there is the door!
  • jasper186
    jasper186 Posts: 134 Member
    I love this post..........made me laugh, thank you! Oh as to the original post who the #$%* cares about what some random person on facebook says. Once you have a few more years under your belt you will develop a thicker skin.
  • Brunner26_2
    Brunner26_2 Posts: 1,152
    Cohabitation used to be illegal in Arizona (repealed in 2001). Worst move ever.

    The original law was bad or the repeal was bad? Please explain.
  • BAMFMeredith
    BAMFMeredith Posts: 2,810 Member
    Psh, I'm going to Hell then because my son's dad and I lived together for 2 years (not really my choice, long story) and my boyfriend and I, who have been together nearly 4 years, have lived together for the last 3. I see nothing wrong in co-habitating.

    The whole notion that living together before marriage is "living in sin" is totally archaic. Plenty of people never get married and spend their entire lives together. Plus, I think it's a good idea to live together before saying your "I do"s...I mean, you never REALLY know somebody until you're sharing space with them 24/7.
  • elenathegreat
    elenathegreat Posts: 3,988 Member
    !
  • ironanimal
    ironanimal Posts: 5,922 Member
    I can't imagine marrying someone before living with them. You need to know what you're getting yourself in for. Same goes for sex, IMO.
  • kobiemom
    kobiemom Posts: 218 Member
    There was a lady in my church who was quite vocal about living together until her son got married. They divorced after six months or so. His wife was gay and hiding in a marriage. She had an active social life that he knew nothing about until they started living together. You don't have to do anything about judgemental people. Time will catch up to them eventually.
  • waffleflavoredtea
    waffleflavoredtea Posts: 235 Member
    I think that it should be required as part of pre marital counseling that you need to live together for 3 months before getting married. I would be willing to be there would be less divorces. That towel that's left on the bathroom floor may be endearing the first few times but after picking it up for the zillionth time and telling your SO again not to do it grates on your nerves.

    I love this comic:
    http://theoatmeal.com/comics/living_significant_other
    I HIGHLY disagree with FORCING people to live together before they got married. It seems like an amazing idea for some people and might prevent divorces, but it is their RIGHT to do what they feel is best, and they shouldn't have that choice taken away from them.

    ^I'm not yelling, I'm trying to emphasize, so please don't think I'm trying to be angry or rude :)
  • EmCarroll1990
    EmCarroll1990 Posts: 2,832 Member
    The whole notion that living together before marriage is "living in sin" is totally archaic. Plenty of people never get married and spend their entire lives together. Plus, I think it's a good idea to live together before saying your "I do"s...I mean, you never REALLY know somebody until you're sharing space with them 24/7.

    Exactly. My fiancé has many quirks (as do I) that if we were to just get married before moving in together and finding ways to work them out, I'd probably choke him out.
  • spikefoot
    spikefoot Posts: 419
    So someone on my FB just made a status saying "If you are not married yet, you shouldn't be living together" and this was meant towards me because before my husband and I got married, we lived together for a few months....

    I see nothing wrong with this! It does not mean we hare having sex just because we live together so stop judging and live your life and leave mine alone

    Are you 100% certain that this is directed towards you? Send them a message and ask them why they said that just to be sure.

    You could perhaps be cynical towards them for no reason.

    I think that is a stupid comment and that type of holier than though thinking really annoys the crap out of me..... However, everyone is entitled to their own opinion.

    You could remove them but I am sure someone else will probably just say something as stupid as some point or another... I tend to not take my Facebook friends too seriously because they are interacting with 100's of people.
  • onedayillbeamilf
    onedayillbeamilf Posts: 966 Member
    Forget that! Gotta test drive the car before you buy it!!
  • littleallie120
    littleallie120 Posts: 35
    And it is none of their business, no matter what! Don't let them bother you, delete them, your life must be quite interesting if they are taking the time to post statuses about it ;)!

    Everyone is entitled to make their own decisions, if they don't agree with yours, oh well, ignore the post! Or delete them if it bothers you that bad.
  • mcrowe1016
    mcrowe1016 Posts: 647 Member
    So someone on my FB just made a status saying "If you are not married yet, you shouldn't be living together" and this was meant towards me because before my husband and I got married, we lived together for a few months....

    I see nothing wrong with this! It does not mean we hare having sex just because we live together so stop judging and live your life and leave mine alone

    So now you are judging them for possibly judging you.. I am judging you for judging them for judging you. You are judging me for judging you for judging them......
  • BAMFMeredith
    BAMFMeredith Posts: 2,810 Member
    I think it is a legitimate opinion and so do a lot of other people. If you don't like their point of view, it is a free country and you can unfriend them. Or if they really are a friend, you can ask them why they hold that opinion and maybe try to understand it.

    If you don't believe in living together, then by all means you shouldn't. Just like people who don't believe in marriage shouldn't get married. Or people who don't believe in pre-marital sex shouldn't have it. Or people who don't believe in monogamy, shouldn't be monogamous. So, yes, it's a legitimate opinion and you should feel free to employ it in your own life. But, I'm pretty sure you wouldn't appreciate people with the opinion opposite to your own telling YOU that you should live with someone before marriage. It's personal and that's exactly where it should remain.

    Word.

    I don't really care what somebody else does in their relationship as long as nobody's getting hurt. Don't tell me what to do in mine, I won't tell you what to do in yours!
  • Tourney3p0
    Tourney3p0 Posts: 290 Member
    Delete everyone under 30 from your Facebook. Makes it a lot better.
  • AABru
    AABru Posts: 610 Member
    Different strokes for different folks, but I prefer to test drive the car before I make a purchase.

    It's really none of her business. Defriend her if it really bothers you.

    EXACTLY this^^^^^^^
  • MelissR75
    MelissR75 Posts: 735 Member
    Guess Im going to hell. My sig. other and I have been together 11 years. He moved in about a month after we met. We have 3 kids now, own a house together but have yet to get married. Whoever doesn’t like it can kindly F*** Off!
  • Laces_0ut
    Laces_0ut Posts: 3,750 Member
    statistics show that people who live together before marriage are more likely to get divorced than those who did not live together before marriage.

    thats not true anymore. http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-2118719/Living-marriage-longer-increases-chances-divorce.html


    and i wonder if people in the past were less likely to get divorced if they didnt live together first because of religious obligation. ive heard lots of people say they couldnt get divorced because they promised god even if they were in a loveless marriage.
  • BAMFMeredith
    BAMFMeredith Posts: 2,810 Member
    So someone on my FB just made a status saying "If you are not married yet, you shouldn't be living together" and this was meant towards me because before my husband and I got married, we lived together for a few months....

    I see nothing wrong with this! It does not mean we hare having sex just because we live together so stop judging and live your life and leave mine alone

    Also, you don't have to be living together to be having sex lol
  • seantugers2
    seantugers2 Posts: 16
    ha... i'm 28 and have been living with my girlfriend for 7 years now
  • kstrunk1
    kstrunk1 Posts: 462 Member
    You have to do what is right for YOU. My husband and I didn't live together before we got married, nor did we have sex before b/c of my Catholic upbringing and beliefs. He knew it was important to me and honored that. HOWEVER, I will be the first to tell you that just b/c that worked for us does not in any way, shape or form mean that it can work for everyone. I was also only 22 when we got married and he was 23. I have friends who went the route we did but many, many more who didn't. Some moved in together, most were having sex and guess what? Happy to report that almost all of us are still married ... and it will be 21 years for my husband and me next Friday. Just because I didn't live with my husband or have pre-marital sex makes me no better than those who did. That was our choice and ours only.

    Live your life for yourself and forget what anyone else says. :flowerforyou:
  • jcpmoore
    jcpmoore Posts: 796 Member
    I think that it should be required as part of pre marital counseling that you need to live together for 3 months before getting married. I would be willing to be there would be less divorces. That towel that's left on the bathroom floor may be endearing the first few times but after picking it up for the zillionth time and telling your SO again not to do it grates on your nerves.

    I love this comic:
    http://theoatmeal.com/comics/living_significant_other

    You can hide anything for three months. Living with someone before you get married does not mean you will learn all the things about them that will drive you nuts after you get married.
  • FrugalMomsRock75
    FrugalMomsRock75 Posts: 698 Member
    All I can say is... for myself... I wish I hadn't lived with mine first. If we hadn't, I likely wouldn't have gotten pregnant and done things the way I see as "backwards."

    That's me. I can't go back, but I'll always feel like I kind of cheated myself in some way...
  • greasygriddle_wechnage
    greasygriddle_wechnage Posts: 246 Member
    i always say, "i will not be your judge, cause i sure as hell don't want you to be on my jury". :smokin:
  • KMSForLife
    KMSForLife Posts: 577 Member
    Please! My husband and I lived together for a year before being married. Looking back I am so thankful that we had that time before being married to work through the initial struggles of living together. In my opinion, you don't really know a person until you've lived together. People should mind their own business.
  • MzMiller1215
    MzMiller1215 Posts: 633 Member
    I think that it should be required as part of pre marital counseling that you need to live together for 3 months before getting married. I would be willing to be there would be less divorces. That towel that's left on the bathroom floor may be endearing the first few times but after picking it up for the zillionth time and telling your SO again not to do it grates on your nerves.

    I love this comic:
    http://theoatmeal.com/comics/living_significant_other


    Totally agree!!!
  • LilacDreamer
    LilacDreamer Posts: 1,364 Member
    My husband and I started living together a few months after we started dating. We lived together for 2 years and then we got married.

    It's not really a big deal... I don't understand what the problem is. I find it strange that people would get married and then move in together...you don't really know if you're compatible with someone until you live with them first.

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