Positive comments on unhealthy diaries

Options
24567…11

Replies

  • kfitzpa
    kfitzpa Posts: 326
    Options
    I'm sort of with you on this. If I see that somebody's diary is way under/over or they ate a lot of crap that day I'm not going to comment on it at all. But maybe some people just want to make sure people see that they're paying attention to their diaries/being supportive... who knows.
  • 33neenaj
    33neenaj Posts: 306
    Options
    Comments like "awesome" and "good job" are very nice and can be supportive, but I don't get it when I see these type of comments, then I peek at the diary to which they are referring, and while they may have been under their calories, the day's food is nothing but sweets, carbs and a bunch of "junk" food. No fruits and veggies whatsoever. Very little protein. How is that "awesome" or a "good job"?? I would never criticize with a comment, as it is none of my business really, but to offer congratulations for that kind of eating? I don't think that's really all that helpful.

    I understand what you are saying and I agree with you. However I think for a lot of people, just logging their food and being aware of their eating habits is a big deal and should be encouraged. So even though someone may have a crappy diet for right now, the congratulations may just be for the fact that they are here and took the time to log even though their diet may not be so good. That being said. When I see a diary, I'll look for the things I like about it an comment on that, like "good breakfast today" or "nice snack choices".

    Ditto
  • zhanaolivia
    zhanaolivia Posts: 65
    Options
    I agree. There's a thread right now about how "judging diaries" is so wrong etc which is just silly. I mean, if someone is b*tching about someone having a treat one day, that's a bit excessive. But in general, if someone is consistently eating something that's bad for them, it's totally appropriate AND SUPPORTIVE of his/her MFPs to show concern/make suggestions for alternatives.
    It comes down to actually being caring. If you don't care and just want to seem nice you'll be complimentary about anything someone does - most of them probably don't even look at the diary. I value the friends who actually take note of how I'm using up my calories so much more because it's helpful.
    Then you have those people who have their diary on private. I understand being embarrassed about what you eat, but in this forum it's a bit of an unfounded fear. The whole point is that you don't have to say who you are, or where you're from, or show your friends, but you can still have personal support from people. And how are we supposed to know that "being under you calorie goal" isn't starving? People commenting "WTG!" on a post that says "_____ completed their diary and was under their calorie goal" when they'd eaten like 300cals in low fat milk is just wrong.
  • ninelives58
    ninelives58 Posts: 160 Member
    Options
    If someone has had a day where they eat food that isn't good for them, chances are they're already feeling guilty and beating themselves up over doing something they "shouldn't" have been doing. People make their own decisions, and sometimes people comfort eat. I don't think there's anything particularly wrong with that as long as it's in moderation. If, however, you've noticed one/several of your MFP friends are consuming unhealthy food and drink on a regular basis that's a different story.

    I'm not sure why it's a personal thing for you (is it because you really want those people to be giving more helpful feedback?), but instead of allowing yourself to feel annoyed perhaps you should approach the individual you feel needs some help and give some constructive feedback on what they could be doing differently in order to progress towards their goals. You could do this privately, through messaging, if it would make you feel more comfortable.

    MFP is a social medium because it encourages its members to support one another. Members are making their diet and exercise details your business by making it public so if you feel that strongly about it you should talk with the people in question; otherwise, what you're doing is really no more helpful.

    Good lord, it's not a "personal thing" for me and I don't "feel that strongly" about it. I was just posting some musings about why such a diary would be congratulated. I have no intention nor desire to offer my construction criticism to anyone. I'm not perfect either.
  • k8lyn_235
    k8lyn_235 Posts: 507 Member
    Options
    funny because i was just having this issue a second ago.. and earlier this week. one of my friends on here had only eaten a cupcake for dinner and i said "only a cupcake for dinner?" (underneath a comment that was like, awesome job! or something) and she unfriended me. not saying no one has days where they don't eat dinner, but i didn't feel my comment was that harsh, but i guess i could've worded my comment nicer.

    also, today i saw a diary with about 10 comments saying great job, etc, so i looked and they were 800+ cals under their goal. BUT i didn't say anything and just moved on. i agree, encouraging people to eat unhealthy is not "supportive" but we all do have off days and good for them for logging it, i suppose. however, if someone is eating unhealthy every day of the week, then that's another thing. either way, i usually don't comment on it and if their eating really bothers me, i just unfriend them.
  • ElizabethRoad
    ElizabethRoad Posts: 5,138 Member
    Options
    Good lord, it's not a "personal thing" for me and I don't "feel that strongly" about it. I was just posting some musings about why such a diary would be congratulated. I have no intention nor desire to offer my construction criticism to anyone. I'm not perfect either.
    You feel strongly enough about it to come here and complain so you can get validation, instead of confronting the person directly.
  • ninelives58
    ninelives58 Posts: 160 Member
    Options
    I agree. There's a thread right now about how "judging diaries" is so wrong etc which is just silly. I mean, if someone is *****ing about someone having a slice more bread than maybe necessary one day, that's a bit excessive. But in general, if someone is consistently eating something that's bad for them, it's totally appropriate AND SUPPORTIVE of his/her MFPs to show concern/make suggestions for alternatives.
    It comes down to actually being caring. If you don't care and just want to seem nice you'll be complimentary about anything someone does - most of them probably don't even look at the diary. I value the friends who actually take note of how I'm using up my calories so much more because it's helpful.
    Then you have those people who have their diary on private. I understand being embarrassed about what you eat, but in this forum it's a bit of an unfounded fear. The whole point is that you don't have to say who you are, or where you're from, or show your friends, but you can still have personal support from people. And how are we supposed to know that "being under you calorie goal" isn't starving? People commenting "WTG!" on a post that says "_____ completed their diary and was under their calorie goal" when they'd eaten like 300cals in low fat milk is just wrong.

    Thank you Zhanaolivia - this was where I was coming from. Whenever I do comment (positive only by the way), I try to actually refer to something about the diary or the exercise or whatever, but not just blindly say "great".
  • Lisseth03
    Lisseth03 Posts: 518 Member
    Options
    I try and eat healthy but that's not ALWAYS the case. I do give in sometimes, and I log in my junk and add a note "not the best food choices today I know" so I acknowledge the fact that I know I didn't do the greatest.
    Also I don't comment on people's diaries that are closed, I don't want to say "good job for being under your limit!"when I don't know if what they ate was under 1000calories for example.
  • clh126
    clh126 Posts: 115 Member
    Options
    I see where you're coming from because I've seen diaries where it's not just a cheat day or bad day, but rather every single day is fast food, cake and soda and sometimes with two or three fast food trips. However, depending on the individual this may be an improvement. If they were drinking a 12 pack of coke each day last month and today they're only having 5 cans well then maybe a "congrats" is in order. Not everyone is going to "eat clean" overnight once they've decided to lose weight and to me it's pretty impressive that they diligently log those calories even though they know they will be judged for it. One step at a time
  • pdj1220
    pdj1220 Posts: 175
    Options
    I know in my case, the calorie goal is the most important thing for me. I am far from a clean eater, hell, I save calories for ice cream most days. Something to remember, the same person who makes bad choices but comes in at 1300 calories today may have made more bad choices and eaten 2500 calories three months ago. In my case, I may decide to have frozen pizza, but I feel good about myself for sticking to the 1/3 of a pizza rather than eating the whole thing.
  • Silver14
    Silver14 Posts: 141
    Options
    Aww no one ever tells me that! Unloved :(

    But on the topic, I hate that to. I don't understand why espesially when it's all crap.
  • loneworg
    loneworg Posts: 342 Member
    Options
    I know in my case, the calorie goal is the most important thing for me. I am far from a clean eater, hell, I save calories for ice cream most days. Something to remember, the same person who makes bad choices but comes in at 1300 calories today may have made more bad choices and eaten 2500 calories three months ago. In my case, I may decide to have frozen pizza, but I feel good about myself for sticking to the 1/3 of a pizza rather than eating the whole thing.
    ^^^^first off gratz on your loss!^^^ As someone who is very large and have a lot of weight to lose, that is what important to me. As I get down I plan to do better but as I said I am working to be within my cal goals and with portion control. So logging for me, even with all my junk I eat it stills feel like a win.
  • charanne52
    charanne52 Posts: 88 Member
    Options
    People will also say "good job" on a closed diary. That's not something I would do but I guess some people just want to be supportive and encouraging no matter what.
  • LNPurdie
    LNPurdie Posts: 84 Member
    Options
    If I eat junk food, because I just am having one of those days - maybe stuck on the road, emotional day, if I drink too much....

    I still try to keep under my goal for the day. I think its important to be honest, not perfect and if I ate badly, but managed not to binge and stayed on track - why not get some encouragement.


    The idea is to slowly improve my lifestyle, not "diet".
  • aleham
    aleham Posts: 44
    Options
    If someone has had a day where they eat food that isn't good for them, chances are they're already feeling guilty and beating themselves up over doing something they "shouldn't" have been doing. People make their own decisions, and sometimes people comfort eat. I don't think there's anything particularly wrong with that as long as it's in moderation. If, however, you've noticed one/several of your MFP friends are consuming unhealthy food and drink on a regular basis that's a different story.

    I'm not sure why it's a personal thing for you (is it because you really want those people to be giving more helpful feedback?), but instead of allowing yourself to feel annoyed perhaps you should approach the individual you feel needs some help and give some constructive feedback on what they could be doing differently in order to progress towards their goals. You could do this privately, through messaging, if it would make you feel more comfortable.

    MFP is a social medium because it encourages its members to support one another. Members are making their diet and exercise details your business by making it public so if you feel that strongly about it you should talk with the people in question; otherwise, what you're doing is really no more helpful.

    Good lord, it's not a "personal thing" for me and I don't "feel that strongly" about it. I was just posting some musings about why such a diary would be congratulated. I have no intention nor desire to offer my construction criticism to anyone. I'm not perfect either.

    I wasn't being judgemental or attacking you, I was giving you advice - just the kind of advice you feel MFP members should give one another about their food choices.

    Oh the irony.
  • gsager
    gsager Posts: 977 Member
    Options
    Comments like "awesome" and "good job" are very nice and can be supportive, but I don't get it when I see these type of comments, then I peek at the diary to which they are referring, and while they may have been under their calories, the day's food is nothing but sweets, carbs and a bunch of "junk" food. No fruits and veggies whatsoever. Very little protein. How is that "awesome" or a "good job"?? I would never criticize with a comment, as it is none of my business really, but to offer congratulations for that kind of eating? I don't think that's really all that helpful.
    Is your diary private?
  • bzgl40
    bzgl40 Posts: 69 Member
    Options
    Wow, some folks are being hard on the OP on her post about something she wondered about. it is a pretty legit decision point about what is good feedback and what might not be good feedback and there are multiple ways of thinking about it. She's not attacking anyone. Some folks just need to chill a bit I think. Glad there are some folks willing to discuss the topic on the merit of the topic and not just say "why do you care so much".

    As to the OP, I don't actually read people's diaries so I can't speak to here but I am on a triathlon forum and I read my online friends training logs all the time and provide feedback. I have gotten to know most of them pretty good through the years and know who takes to what and I'll totally crap on the ones that are starting to slack if I feel it will help them, and usually it does. Others I just might make recommendations to help motivate them. But yeah, if I go in there and there is no training for like a week I'm not going to say good job. I'd be more likely to say nothing.
  • ninelives58
    ninelives58 Posts: 160 Member
    Options
    Good lord, it's not a "personal thing" for me and I don't "feel that strongly" about it. I was just posting some musings about why such a diary would be congratulated. I have no intention nor desire to offer my construction criticism to anyone. I'm not perfect either.
    You feel strongly enough about it to come here and complain so you can get validation, instead of confronting the person directly.

    Gee whiz, what's wrong with a little validation??
  • bzgl40
    bzgl40 Posts: 69 Member
    Options
    If someone has had a day where they eat food that isn't good for them, chances are they're already feeling guilty and beating themselves up over doing something they "shouldn't" have been doing. People make their own decisions, and sometimes people comfort eat. I don't think there's anything particularly wrong with that as long as it's in moderation. If, however, you've noticed one/several of your MFP friends are consuming unhealthy food and drink on a regular basis that's a different story.

    I'm not sure why it's a personal thing for you (is it because you really want those people to be giving more helpful feedback?), but instead of allowing yourself to feel annoyed perhaps you should approach the individual you feel needs some help and give some constructive feedback on what they could be doing differently in order to progress towards their goals. You could do this privately, through messaging, if it would make you feel more comfortable.

    MFP is a social medium because it encourages its members to support one another. Members are making their diet and exercise details your business by making it public so if you feel that strongly about it you should talk with the people in question; otherwise, what you're doing is really no more helpful.

    Good lord, it's not a "personal thing" for me and I don't "feel that strongly" about it. I was just posting some musings about why such a diary would be congratulated. I have no intention nor desire to offer my construction criticism to anyone. I'm not perfect either.

    I wasn't being judgemental or attacking you, I was giving you advice - just the kind of advice you feel MFP members should give one another about their food choices.

    Oh the irony.

    You actually did judge her. You made the statement that she was taking this personally. But the rest of your advice was pretty solid. I think she probably took your statement as harsh cause of that one line and the fact there are a few that seem to think she's all up in arms about this. It is the one statement that really stood out to me anyways...
  • FlaxMilk
    FlaxMilk Posts: 3,452 Member
    Options
    I don't comment on closed diaries and I don't offer compliments on days under 1200 calories unless to possibly compliment how healthy some of the foods were. Anything else, I say something positive. Some may have days filled with junk, but two weeks ago they were struggling to keep the junk under the calorie limit. That's an accomplishment, to get below/at the limit when they were overeating before, and that should be congratulated. If they want to begin eating cleaner, I'll congratulate the health there too.

    I generally eat pretty healthfully but had a string of suckiness lately. I posted it, but I would have felt terrible had anyone said something else about it. The support I got helped me kick the funk.
This discussion has been closed.

Categories