Don't Request Me

I am by no means inferring that we are to friend every single person on this site. As a new member, I was rather taken aback when reviewing peoples profiles with a long list of do's and don't for friends and people with successful stories that have stopped accepting friends and refuse to help others in the same manner they were likely helped. Everyone on here has the right to do whatever they please. I just wanted to understand the rationale behind the culture on this site because this kind of behavior is strange to me.

Lots of the success stories have huge friend lists and it's hard for them to be really active on their friend's feeds with the constant inundation of people friend requesting them. That's why some of them have the disclaimer that they are not accepting new friends but usually they have their blogs linked for those wanting to know how they did it. They aren't just being jerks. I mean, I know they are regular people like you and me but if you could imagine it, pretend Jillian Michaels was on here and open about it. Can you imagine the number of friend requests she would get and the amount of people who would want her attention, time, and effort to help them personally? It would be exhausting. It's kind of the same for some of the successful people here, just on a smaller scale.

Many people are trying to avoid others who would be detrimental to their own success. People with active ED's would be detrimental to those in recovery, the eat more to lose crowd probably wouldn't mesh as well with the eat less to lose crowd, the "I hate men" crowd wouldn't mesh with the "I love men" crowd, the Satanists wouldn't mesh with the Christians, etc, etc. It's better IMO to have that list of requirements up because if you see you don't fit them, you and the person whose bio you're looking at already know you won't fit well.

The only requirement I have up is that you send me a message with your FR. I will, however, delete as I need to if you don't fit well with me. I expect others will delete me if I don't fit well with them. No harm, no foul. It's just the internet.

Very well said!! When I see those profiles, I keep it moving because I definitely don't want them as my friend. This is a support network, not an "I'm better than you are" network!! Love it! Thanks so much for this!!!

I hate that to as well. I will be your friend Cyn and anyone who wants one. especially to the lady who said she feels by herself.

you are so right cyn. the only kinds of people I won't be friends with the judgmental kind.

I agree!! I have learned so much by supportive friends on here, I couldn't imagine if I started getting negative comments about my hard earned weight loss. I thought this was about learning and helping each other in the journey...

The ironic thing is that if we are finding things that work for us, it doesn't necessarily mean it will work for everyone, but modifications on the idea might be just 'the thing'.

I only send and accept requests from girls between the ages of 18-24. And they better be RIPPED! Sorry but no oldies and no fatties allowed.

Is it weird I'm creeped out by this being said by a 28 year old, 260 lb man? Just wondering...

No, that's completely creepy.

Great post Cyn! My friend request is on it's way to you!

After having nearly 900 friends I am having a hard time keeping up with them, so I started removing people who haven't logged in a month or longer, and then that still wasn't narrowing it all down a bit, still having a hard time so no message no friend, simply because I figured if someone wants to be friends with me the lease they can do is tell me something lol. My choice, though I won't support people who believe starving themselves or putting their finger down their throat is ok and aren't trying to do things healthier, ya know? I think I can do that, that's for my own personal self though, I don't want to feel any kind of influence to do things wrong.

I totally agree!!! I don't want to scroll down a whole list of "friends" who are just there to give the ones who support me 110 percent the same! I like to be involved with my friends and encourage them plus be able to keep up on myself! If I just said "yes" to everyone to tried to "friend" me I would have no time to exercise myself as I would feel obgligated to respond to them regardless if they gave me a 110 percent or not just because that is the kind of person I am!

too bad!! add me i would love to chat with you!!:flowerforyou:

I find it very strange how people refuse to add more friends or set so many guidelines for them.

"Here's my success story, but please don't request me as your friend"
"I give my friends 110%, and expect the same in return"
"If you eat 1200 calories a day, don't try to friend me"
"If you stop logging for 5 days, I will remove you"
"If you are not eating enough protein you will be removed"


Seriously?.... Like seriously? We are all here for the same reason. We are for the most part experiencing the same struggles, or we would not be here. No method is the right method and that is okay. Maybe you think eating more to lose weight will get you there, or 1200 calories each day. It really does not matter.

I will be your friend. I am here to lose 100 pounds and I will not judge you and I hope you will not judge me. I will not set any guidelines for our friendship or judge you for any relapses. We are in this together.

Very well said!!! I also sent u a friend request :happy:

i'm a bad MFP friend....if some one never comments on my updates i delete them. if they dont log in for a week, i delete them. (unless its some one who is usually very supportive or that i know in real life)

I think your totally awesome !

I find it very strange how people refuse to add more friends or set so many guidelines for them.

"Here's my success story, but please don't request me as your friend"
"I give my friends 110%, and expect the same in return"
"If you eat 1200 calories a day, don't try to friend me"
"If you stop logging for 5 days, I will remove you"
"If you are not eating enough protein you will be removed"


Seriously?.... Like seriously? We are all here for the same reason. We are for the most part experiencing the same struggles, or we would not be here. No method is the right method and that is okay. Maybe you think eating more to lose weight will get you there, or 1200 calories each day. It really does not matter.

I will be your friend. I am here to lose 100 pounds and I will not judge you and I hope you will not judge me. I will not set any guidelines for our friendship or judge you for any relapses. We are in this together.