Don't Request Me

1234568

Replies

  • Nan_
    Nan_ Posts: 83 Member
    Could someone please tell me why I shouldn't be eating 1200 calories a day? It's been awhile since I first signed up with MFP but I thought that I let MFP suggest my calories for me, and it has me eating 1200 a day. Now I'm wondering if I set something up wrong and should be eating more? I thought 1200 was healthy but have to admit haven't done any research.

    I did lose the 20 pounds I wanted to lose but then injured my back and put it back on due to the modified bed rest, limited activity, and just snacking too much.

    I guess I'd better get off my lazy behind and do some research because I thought 1200 calories was fine! Thanks for any advice!
    There's nothing wrong with eating 1200 calories a day if it's appropriate for your height, current weight & activity level. Unfortunately from what I've seen on sites like this, far too many people eat at that level & they shouldn't. It's usually people who are newer to weight loss. It's not their fault for not knowing you don't HAVE to eat so little to lose weight, & for every *kitten* on this site there are at least 2 other kind people who really do want to help.

    I have received plenty of great advice from unqualified people. Just because someone's not a scientist or dietician doesn't mean they're wrong. Give people some credit. If I read something here that I think might be helpful to me, I know how to look elsewhere to get more information on it. The info is even more helpful if people share a source to point me in the right direction.

    But I digress...Nan_, since your profile is private none of us have any way of knowing if 1200 is the right level for you, but I have a calculator I can plug your height/weight/age into based on the Harris-Benedict formula & would be happy to do so.

    Thanks for responding. I made my profile private just because there's nothing on it, lol! I haven't filled anything in and just figured what was the point to have it public, lol! I hope I'm doing this quote thing right. I have no idea what I'm doing. I am 5'6 and weight 145 pounds. I would like to get down to about 130. But when I started MFP I think I weighed about 152.
  • Nan_
    Nan_ Posts: 83 Member
    Could someone please tell me why I shouldn't be eating 1200 calories a day? It's been awhile since I first signed up with MFP but I thought that I let MFP suggest my calories for me, and it has me eating 1200 a day. Now I'm wondering if I set something up wrong and should be eating more? I thought 1200 was healthy but have to admit haven't done any research.

    I did lose the 20 pounds I wanted to lose but then injured my back and put it back on due to the modified bed rest, limited activity, and just snacking too much.

    I guess I'd better get off my lazy behind and do some research because I thought 1200 calories was fine! Thanks for any advice!

    1200 is perfectly fine. It's the minimum that MFP will set you to, but there is nothing unhealthy about it, especially if you're not doing a lot of weight training.

    In regard to the 1200 calorie question:

    Go to fat2fitradio.com and figure out your basal metabolic rate. In order to do so, you will need to figure out your fat percentage, so use the military fat percentage calculator, get out you measuring tape, and figure it out. Do the BMR. Then look at the chart and figure out how many calories you should be eating for your activity level.

    The reason why you want to do this is so that you are giving your body enough fuel so that it doesn't feel like it is starving. When the body feels it is starving, it will do two things to 'save' itself. First, it will lower your metabolism. Second, it will start using muscle for fuel.

    Why muscle?

    When sitting there on your computer, one pound of fat is burning 5 calories every hour. In that same hour, though, one pound of muscle is burning 25-35 calories. So your body will want to get rid of that which uses more energy, which is the muscle. It will start to break down the muscle to 'save' itself, leaving you with the fat.

    Muscle is important because when you are exercising on that treadmill, that same one pound of fat is burning 5 calories. That same one pound of muscle is burning 125-175 calories.

    So, the question is this: Wouldn't you like to preserve your muscle?

    If you do, you want to figure what you really need as far as calorie intake instead of going along with what MFP gives you. If you are 5'8", burning 900 calories a day, weighing around 200 pounds, your basic calorie need for keeping the body going will be higher than 1200. Then add in the exercise and you will need some more calories because doing all that exercise is using fuel and without eating some of that back, your body will think it is starving.

    You can change the macros for calories and percentage for proteins, carbs, fats, and other things to suit you. Now, you don't want to eat less than 1200 because that is the minimum calorie needs for the human body.

    Which leads me to this.....

    I will not take or keep as a friend someone who is losing weight in an unhealthy way. Eating less than 1200 calories a day consistently will just get you bumped off my friends list. It is not healthy, often leads to arguments between friends, and I will not encourage that kind of dieting by keeping that person as my friend.

    My highest weight was 294 pounds. I am currently 174 pounds. That's a loss of 120 pounds. I didn't lose it eating less than 1200. I lift weight, walk my treadmill, etc. You can look at my diary if you want, but I do it the healthy way and expect my friends to be on the same keel as me.

    Thank you so much for all this info. I will go over there and check it out. I certainly wouldn't mind being "allowed" to eat more than 1200 calories a day!
  • chickentunashake
    chickentunashake Posts: 164 Member
    I don't see what's wrong with people wanting want they want in their friends. Noone tells you in your everyday life that you HAVE to be friends with every single person that approaches you. If a weird creepy guy did that to you on the subway would you want to be his friend? Prolly not. Same idea applies on an online forum. If you find their choosiness offensive, well, then don't friend request them and carry on. I don't see the issue.
    So agree with this statement. I want to have friends who are in similar journey as I am, if you are not trying to do it the healthy way or don't know nothing about it, how can you support me? And i cannot support you in starving yourself or purging either, so dont request me. Find your own ED group and you can purge together ;-)
  • stargazer008
    stargazer008 Posts: 531
    The one where people won't add you just because you eat 1200 cals or under. Who the hell said that 1200 calories is the "magic" number! Some people who are short, sedentary and don't have much to lose probably can eat 1200 calories or even less without going into the whole starvation mode crap.
  • Omen_Alexia
    Omen_Alexia Posts: 30 Member
    I find it very strange how people refuse to add more friends or set so many guidelines for them.

    "Here's my success story, but please don't request me as your friend"
    "I give my friends 110%, and expect the same in return"
    "If you eat 1200 calories a day, don't try to friend me"
    "If you stop logging for 5 days, I will remove you"
    "If you are not eating enough protein you will be removed"


    Seriously?.... Like seriously? We are all here for the same reason. We are for the most part experiencing the same struggles, or we would not be here. No method is the right method and that is okay. Maybe you think eating more to lose weight will get you there, or 1200 calories each day. It really does not matter.

    I will be your friend. I am here to lose 100 pounds and I will not judge you and I hope you will not judge me. I will not set any guidelines for our friendship or judge you for any relapses. We are in this together.


    MFP told me to only eat 1200 a day :c
  • TheFitHooker
    TheFitHooker Posts: 3,357 Member
    After having nearly 900 friends I am having a hard time keeping up with them, so I started removing people who haven't logged in a month or longer, and then that still wasn't narrowing it all down a bit, still having a hard time so no message no friend, simply because I figured if someone wants to be friends with me the lease they can do is tell me something lol. My choice, though I won't support people who believe starving themselves or putting their finger down their throat is ok and aren't trying to do things healthier, ya know? I think I can do that, that's for my own personal self though, I don't want to feel any kind of influence to do things wrong.
  • GodsGirl37
    GodsGirl37 Posts: 348
    I hate that to as well. I will be your friend Cyn and anyone who wants one. especially to the lady who said she feels by herself.

    you are so right cyn. the only kinds of people I won't be friends with the judgmental kind.
  • lil_bit_crazy
    lil_bit_crazy Posts: 161 Member
    Well I'm on 1200 calories I'm 5'2 but have medical issues that prohibit me from increasing my caloric intake at the moment. (Mostly the exercise area is limited)
    But anyone can friend me. I don't discriminate. I hate everyone equally! (Kidding!! Haha)
    I have 40 pounds to drop to get into the "normal" range and not be obese anymore.
    :D
  • RacerX_14
    RacerX_14 Posts: 578 Member
    I like to think I am kind of a social butterfly, like my six year old who knows no strangers! hahah I like people, plain and simple. I dont think one can ever have too many buddies, be it on a web forum or in real life. :)
  • impyimpyaj
    impyimpyaj Posts: 1,073 Member
    I find it very strange how people refuse to add more friends or set so many guidelines for them.

    "Here's my success story, but please don't request me as your friend"
    "I give my friends 110%, and expect the same in return"
    "If you eat 1200 calories a day, don't try to friend me"
    "If you stop logging for 5 days, I will remove you"
    "If you are not eating enough protein you will be removed"


    Seriously?.... Like seriously? We are all here for the same reason. We are for the most part experiencing the same struggles, or we would not be here. No method is the right method and that is okay. Maybe you think eating more to lose weight will get you there, or 1200 calories each day. It really does not matter.

    I will be your friend. I am here to lose 100 pounds and I will not judge you and I hope you will not judge me. I will not set any guidelines for our friendship or judge you for any relapses. We are in this together.

    Didn't read the whole thread.

    I have a similar disclaimer. I state on my profile that I can't support undereating. Why do I say that? Because I can't support undereating. If people need support, they should find friends who can support them in their goals, and if their goal is to eat 1000 calories or less per day, I can't support that. It's not because I'm judging, it's because I want people to be healthy, and I don't believe most people can be healthy eating so little. And so, I don't see why they would want to be friends with me, if I'm not going to be able to give them what they need.

    There are several users on here who have lost a lot of weight and have become quite popular. They may not want new friends, because they have a lot already. That's their right. It's not judgmental or rude, it's saying, hey, I'm happy that I inspire you, but for MY life, I need to keep my friends circle small. What's wrong with that?

    It's not anybody's responsibility to "be there" for every single person on MFP. I can't support everyone's goals, nor would I want to. I don't want 1000 friends. No judgment on those who do, but I personally like to keep it under 75 or so. Because I'm not here for everyone else. I'm here for ME.
  • dovesgate
    dovesgate Posts: 894 Member
    I am by no means inferring that we are to friend every single person on this site. As a new member, I was rather taken aback when reviewing peoples profiles with a long list of do's and don't for friends and people with successful stories that have stopped accepting friends and refuse to help others in the same manner they were likely helped. Everyone on here has the right to do whatever they please. I just wanted to understand the rationale behind the culture on this site because this kind of behavior is strange to me.

    Lots of the success stories have huge friend lists and it's hard for them to be really active on their friend's feeds with the constant inundation of people friend requesting them. That's why some of them have the disclaimer that they are not accepting new friends but usually they have their blogs linked for those wanting to know how they did it. They aren't just being jerks. I mean, I know they are regular people like you and me but if you could imagine it, pretend Jillian Michaels was on here and open about it. Can you imagine the number of friend requests she would get and the amount of people who would want her attention, time, and effort to help them personally? It would be exhausting. It's kind of the same for some of the successful people here, just on a smaller scale.

    Many people are trying to avoid others who would be detrimental to their own success. People with active ED's would be detrimental to those in recovery, the eat more to lose crowd probably wouldn't mesh as well with the eat less to lose crowd, the "I hate men" crowd wouldn't mesh with the "I love men" crowd, the Satanists wouldn't mesh with the Christians, etc, etc. It's better IMO to have that list of requirements up because if you see you don't fit them, you and the person whose bio you're looking at already know you won't fit well.

    The only requirement I have up is that you send me a message with your FR. I will, however, delete as I need to if you don't fit well with me. I expect others will delete me if I don't fit well with them. No harm, no foul. It's just the internet.
  • I agree 1000%! I had this happen to me already. I hadn't logged in for a week because I was going through some personal stuff, I had no internet (courtesy of living in the country) and admittedly lost motivation during that time. First of all, yes we gain support from one another but if you're going to set me rules in addition to my goals that I'm trying to achieve, then it sounds more like a competition to me than anything else. I don't agree that people should do that to others and I don't support it at all.

    I appreciate you bringing up the topic for those of us! :)
  • mmmyotwnz
    mmmyotwnz Posts: 119 Member
    Very well said!! When I see those profiles, I keep it moving because I definitely don't want them as my friend. This is a support network, not an "I'm better than you are" network!! Love it! Thanks so much for this!!!

    I hate that to as well. I will be your friend Cyn and anyone who wants one. especially to the lady who said she feels by herself.

    you are so right cyn. the only kinds of people I won't be friends with the judgmental kind.

    I agree!! I have learned so much by supportive friends on here, I couldn't imagine if I started getting negative comments about my hard earned weight loss. I thought this was about learning and helping each other in the journey...

    The ironic thing is that if we are finding things that work for us, it doesn't necessarily mean it will work for everyone, but modifications on the idea might be just 'the thing'.
  • I only send and accept requests from girls between the ages of 18-24. And they better be RIPPED! Sorry but no oldies and no fatties allowed.

    Is it weird I'm creeped out by this being said by a 28 year old, 260 lb man? Just wondering...
  • ishtar13
    ishtar13 Posts: 528 Member
    I only send and accept requests from girls between the ages of 18-24. And they better be RIPPED! Sorry but no oldies and no fatties allowed.

    Is it weird I'm creeped out by this being said by a 28 year old, 260 lb man? Just wondering...

    No, that's completely creepy.
  • 2143661
    2143661 Posts: 566 Member
    I have a couple of guidelines listed on my page. My thing is why would I want people adding me that obviously have nothing in common with me? I’m here for the support and motivate each other. I don’t need some girl on my FL that is starving herself when I’ve made it clear that I do not support that.
  • NYactor1
    NYactor1 Posts: 9,642 Member
    Great post Cyn! My friend request is on it's way to you!
  • Dr229
    Dr229 Posts: 39 Member
    WELL SAID FEEL FREE TO ADD ME AS A FRIEND ENJOTED READING YOUR POST AND IT WAS WELL SAID.
  • After having nearly 900 friends I am having a hard time keeping up with them, so I started removing people who haven't logged in a month or longer, and then that still wasn't narrowing it all down a bit, still having a hard time so no message no friend, simply because I figured if someone wants to be friends with me the lease they can do is tell me something lol. My choice, though I won't support people who believe starving themselves or putting their finger down their throat is ok and aren't trying to do things healthier, ya know? I think I can do that, that's for my own personal self though, I don't want to feel any kind of influence to do things wrong.
    I totally agree!!! I don't want to scroll down a whole list of "friends" who are just there to give the ones who support me 110 percent the same! I like to be involved with my friends and encourage them plus be able to keep up on myself! If I just said "yes" to everyone to tried to "friend" me I would have no time to exercise myself as I would feel obgligated to respond to them regardless if they gave me a 110 percent or not just because that is the kind of person I am!
  • Hungryalf
    Hungryalf Posts: 10 Member
    I'm lucky enough not to have been snubbed like that on here before - not nice! Like you say we are all on here for a reason and this is to get motivation and support to lose weight. :)
  • lynnetted43
    lynnetted43 Posts: 252
    too bad!! add me i would love to chat with you!!:flowerforyou:
  • Yes2HealthyAriel
    Yes2HealthyAriel Posts: 453 Member
    AMEN sister, I totally agree with you on this one. Everyone's goals are different. I see so many judgmental people on here.
  • tiamaria3
    tiamaria3 Posts: 92 Member
    I find it very strange how people refuse to add more friends or set so many guidelines for them.

    "Here's my success story, but please don't request me as your friend"
    "I give my friends 110%, and expect the same in return"
    "If you eat 1200 calories a day, don't try to friend me"
    "If you stop logging for 5 days, I will remove you"
    "If you are not eating enough protein you will be removed"


    Seriously?.... Like seriously? We are all here for the same reason. We are for the most part experiencing the same struggles, or we would not be here. No method is the right method and that is okay. Maybe you think eating more to lose weight will get you there, or 1200 calories each day. It really does not matter.

    I will be your friend. I am here to lose 100 pounds and I will not judge you and I hope you will not judge me. I will not set any guidelines for our friendship or judge you for any relapses. We are in this together.


    Very well said!!! I also sent u a friend request :happy:
  • IpuffyheartHeelsinthegym
    IpuffyheartHeelsinthegym Posts: 5,573 Member
    Hmm, I'm here for me and me alone. I have friends and they are awesome, but this (MFP) is what I make of it, same as you. So, best of luck in everything!
  • marieautumn
    marieautumn Posts: 928 Member
    i'm a bad MFP friend....if some one never comments on my updates i delete them. if they dont log in for a week, i delete them. (unless its some one who is usually very supportive or that i know in real life)
  • Rdahl2
    Rdahl2 Posts: 90
    Judgement is probably what attributed to alot of peoples weight problems to begin with!!!

    I'm new here and i've noticed what you are talking about...i guess for some there is no room for those who don't think and act like they do. As i mentioned in a comment on another forum...not all of us are at the same point thus our goals may not be the same. We share a common struggle and no one should be unkind because another person is different in how they deal with that. Out in the real world those who have a weight issue suffer enough criticism...MFP should be a safe zone with helpful suggestions and support!!

    I agree with you 1000%!!!
  • I think your totally awesome !
  • WhittRak
    WhittRak Posts: 567 Member
    Honestly. I really do not care if someone puts stuff like that on their profile. it just means to me they are just stating their wishes. Meh, to each their own.
  • ToniSG
    ToniSG Posts: 12
    I find it very strange how people refuse to add more friends or set so many guidelines for them.

    "Here's my success story, but please don't request me as your friend"
    "I give my friends 110%, and expect the same in return"
    "If you eat 1200 calories a day, don't try to friend me"
    "If you stop logging for 5 days, I will remove you"
    "If you are not eating enough protein you will be removed"


    Seriously?.... Like seriously? We are all here for the same reason. We are for the most part experiencing the same struggles, or we would not be here. No method is the right method and that is okay. Maybe you think eating more to lose weight will get you there, or 1200 calories each day. It really does not matter.

    I will be your friend. I am here to lose 100 pounds and I will not judge you and I hope you will not judge me. I will not set any guidelines for our friendship or judge you for any relapses. We are in this together.
  • kimi131
    kimi131 Posts: 1,058 Member
    I don't normally see people who say suggest specific things. I do ask for messages with a friend request because I just think if someone's gonna add you they have a reason and I like to know what it is. I mean, this is the Internet, it's not like we all work together or live in the same apartment complex. If someone doesn't want to be my MFP friend or has specific guidelines, really, what do I care? There's 100 more out there where they came from.

    That said, I have the best MFP friends ever.