Is it rude...

stylistchik
stylistchik Posts: 1,436 Member
edited December 25 in Chit-Chat
Not to attend a wedding gift opening party? I'm in a wedding this weekend back home (1300 miles from where I live) and I was informed yesterday that not only will I be attending bridal party/wedding festivities Friday and Saturday, but I am also invited to a wedding gift opening lunch on Sunday. I leave Monday. Is it completely rude to skip this party to spend time with my family? I only go home once a year and I don't want my time to be wasted, especially since my grandparents are pretty old. I just feel like I can't ditch my friend either because I live so far away I feel like I haven't really been a good bridesmaid for her. Any suggestions?
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Replies

  • ScottyNoHotty
    ScottyNoHotty Posts: 1,957 Member
    Did they pay for you to travel to the wedding? Spend some time with your family. Gift opening sucks anyway...
  • nelsoji
    nelsoji Posts: 79 Member
    Not rude at all - some people like to "see" the person get the gifts you got them - but I would guess that will be a pretty small group of family and best friends maybe. To be honest - when I got married - I couldn't remember who was at what - its such a whirlwind that unless you are their best friend or they have specifically asked you personally to come - I doubt they will care!! They should feel honored you made it all that way for the wedding in the first place IMO!!!
  • scs143
    scs143 Posts: 2,190 Member
    You said you are in the wedding. As in bridesmaid? I think if you weren't in the wedding, you could skip it. But if you are in the wedding party- I think you should go as much as that sucks.
  • juliecat1
    juliecat1 Posts: 3,450 Member
    IMO - asking people to watch you open gifts is rude. Lol. I'm just do not into wedding crap. Just tell them you'd like to spend that day with your family.
  • LonLB
    LonLB Posts: 1,126 Member
    You said you are in the wedding. As in bridesmaid? I think if you weren't in the wedding, you could skip it. But if you are in the wedding party- I think you should go as much as that sucks.


    Agree 1 million percent.


    You are in the wedding....hate it or not, you are going to have to suck it up and go this time.

    Weddings are unique circumstances, in which what YOU want does not matter in the least.
  • UsedToBeHusky
    UsedToBeHusky Posts: 15,228 Member
    I think you should explain all this to your friend. If she doesn't understand, then she is not a very good friend. As far as you being a good bridesmaid, you showed up, and you travelled from far away to get there. What more could she have asked of you?
  • misskerouac
    misskerouac Posts: 2,242 Member
    I think it depends on the person, I was not at ALL offended by people that didn't come to mine, although I didn't even want to have one because it makes me incredibly uncomfortable to have people watch me open presents.
  • macpatti
    macpatti Posts: 4,280 Member
    You're in the wedding. It is rude to not attend.
  • smiley245
    smiley245 Posts: 420 Member
    I would skip it, regardless of if im in the wedding party or not.
    Im sure she would understand and to be honest gift opening parties are so boring. I certainly wouldnt want people staring at me opening a whole bunch of gifts all the while knowing they are thinking hurry up I ain't got all day....lol
  • k8blujay2
    k8blujay2 Posts: 4,941 Member
    I didn't find it rude when some of my family and friends couldn't come to the gift opening party... just tell your friend the reasoning and if she doesn't understand....
  • _Elemenopee_
    _Elemenopee_ Posts: 2,665 Member
    I've never heard of this and hope it's not a common "tradition". I wouldn't attend.

    IMO, not rude, at all. Go home to your family.
  • swest222
    swest222 Posts: 455 Member
    It is rude IF you didnt discuss it with the bride beforehand ..
    I would think your circumstances are unique and hope she would completely understand ....
  • jennifer52484
    jennifer52484 Posts: 888 Member
    A wedding gift opening party? What? Sounds like an odd tradition. If i had one of those, it would have been a pretty quick party.. I received all cards and one knife set.
  • UsedToBeHusky
    UsedToBeHusky Posts: 15,228 Member
    A wedding gift opening party? What? Sounds like an odd tradition. If i had one of those, it would have been a pretty quick party.. I received all cards and one knife set.

    I know. I would think the bride and groom would be busy the day after the wedding.
  • marycmeadows
    marycmeadows Posts: 1,691 Member
    i have never heard of such a thing! That's so weird, and that is something I'd never do as part of my wedding 'festivities'.
  • AJ_Pete
    AJ_Pete Posts: 863 Member
    IMO - asking people to watch you open gifts is rude. Lol. I'm just do not into wedding crap. Just tell them you'd like to spend that day with your family.

    Mhmmmm.
  • NamibianRose
    NamibianRose Posts: 151 Member
    I've never heard of this and hope it's not a common "tradition". I wouldn't attend.

    IMO, not rude, at all. Go home to your family.

    Never heard of it either, I've been in a handful of weddings and none of them had one. Maybe it's unique to a specific region? Very interesting.
  • LindaCWy
    LindaCWy Posts: 463 Member
    Wedding gift opening party? This is the stupidest thing I have ever heard. As far as I'm concerned, once she wears the white dress down the aisle, your part is done. I say skip it.
  • ElizabethRoad
    ElizabethRoad Posts: 5,138 Member
    I've never even heard of a gift-opening party. How odd. But no, it is not rude to turn down an invitation.
  • UpEarly
    UpEarly Posts: 2,555 Member
    I have never heard of such a thing! Seriously? A luncheon to watch someone open gifts? I wouldn't go.
  • celtictechie
    celtictechie Posts: 39
    If you're attending: the wedding and the reception

    Going to a gift opening is not required. If you want to see your family instead, then do so. At least I wouldn't take offense if someone didn't care to see me open their gift... (Granted, I like many others have not even heard of this tradition??)
  • LAS_1980
    LAS_1980 Posts: 156
    Well considering your circumstances and as far away as you live, I would personally talk to the bride alone and explain to her that you would really enjoy spending Sunday with your family since you have to go back home Monday. I am pretty sure that she will say go ahead and not be offended. I do understand that you're part of the wedding party, but my ex-husband was a groomsman for a good friend of his and we went to rehearsal and didn't stay for the dinner...it was my birthday and he took me to eat somewhere. However, all he did was politely ask his friend if it was ok if we didn't stay and ofcourse all he said was sure thing!!
    Just talk to her...I am sure she will understand! :)
  • Capt_Apollo
    Capt_Apollo Posts: 9,026 Member
    aaaah, middle america. this is why i like the coasts. you give gifts for the bridal shower, and money at the wedding. no silly "wedding gift opening party."
  • KIMBAILEYWILLIAMSON
    KIMBAILEYWILLIAMSON Posts: 258 Member
    I don't think it would be rude at all to not go. Spend time with your family and grandparents!!!!
  • macpatti
    macpatti Posts: 4,280 Member
    I didn't find it rude when some of my family and friends couldn't come to the gift opening party... just tell your friend the reasoning and if she doesn't understand....
    Family and friends is one thing, but your bridesmaids????
  • pastryari
    pastryari Posts: 8,646 Member
    I've never heard of this before. I don't think it's rude since you're not the maid of honor and you are traveling from very far away. I would just talk to the bride and explain that you'd really like to spend a little time with your family before you head back home. If you're good friends, I'm sure she'll be understanding.
  • Trechechus
    Trechechus Posts: 2,819 Member
    Forgive my bluntness, but a "wedding-gift-opening party" sounds pretty damn stupid. Who wants to sit around and watch people unwrap toasters? It's one thing when it's 10 minutes of a birthday party, but a whole party based on watching people getting free stuff? No thanks.

    Spend time with your family. I think the entire premise of the party is rude.
  • MamaKeeks
    MamaKeeks Posts: 234
    Talk to your friend, and be honest with her. You are in her bridal party because you are friends! A friend will understand that your family needs you too. I am sure she will understand.

    You are not the only bridesmaid, and you're not the Maqid of Honour... the bride will not be without her party. She can do this without you!

    Talk to her! :flowerforyou:
  • RhonndaJ
    RhonndaJ Posts: 1,615 Member
    I have never heard of such a thing! Seriously? A luncheon to watch someone open gifts? I wouldn't go.

    This.
  • IveLanded
    IveLanded Posts: 797 Member
    I've never heard of that!!!!! I can imagine that some relatives and close friends would like to see the couple open their gifts, I guess, but if it doesn't matter to you I'm sure it's no big deal if you don't go.
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