Is it rude...

I have never heard of such a thing! Seriously? A luncheon to watch someone open gifts? I wouldn't go.

I agree. I've never heard of this type of thing, and think its a bit much to expect people to come to that.

Perhaps its just the Bride & Groom's way of getting more time with their own out of town guests, but I'm sure they'd understand that you want some down time with your own family while you're home as well!

Since you're going to spend time with family, I would think that's an understandable excuse not to go. Yes you were part of the wedding and such, but you're not obligated to do anything--you're asked. You're asked to be a bridesmaid, asked to pay for certain things, asked to help and/or attend the wedding and fulfill a certain duty. It's not demanded of you; you get a choice. So like everything else, that's you being asked and you have the option to say yes or no. You shouldn't feel bad about declining something you have little to no interest in to visit family when you're leaving the next day anyhow. If someone gets their nose out of joint, oh well. You did what a bridesmaid has to, you owe them nothing more.

I think the bride would completely understand if you were going to visit family in lue of going to watch her open gifts. I had a gift opening party AFTER my bridal shower (there were over 100 people there), I extended an invitation to my bridesmaids, but it was under no circumstance "mandatory".

It's a super old tradition that not many people really do anymore.

We won't be having one, but my fiancé's friend had one, and it was super awkward to watch them open envelopes with cash in them.

That being said, I think it would be rude to skip it without talking to the bride first. If you explain that Sunday is your only opportunity to visit your aging grandparents, I think she *should* understand.

I'm sorry a party just to open gifts? I am fairly certain that this is not a formal rule in Miss Manners book of etiquette as it is truly rude to show off "gifts". That should be an optional attendance in my opinion. If they are your true friends it would not be expected.
The rehearsal dinner, wedding day, Shower I get all of those but gift opening is a little excessive especially since you live so far and are only in town a short time. Enjoy your Sunday the way you choose to!

The wedding is this weekend & they just informed you? In that case I would politely decline. Something like.....
"I'd love to make it but I promised I would spend the day with my family. I really wish I would have known sooner about your party. My family planned a special gathering knowing I was in town. I am so sorry, I can't attend your party"

I was in my sister's wedding a few months ago. I was cleaning up after the reception when they invited me to the gift opening party the next day. I had never heard of such a thing and it made me feel really uncomfortable. I did not feel obligated to go since I didn't know about it in advance and I lived far away.

I think the idea of a gift opening party is ridiculous and rude. I don't think *anyone* should be obligated to attend.

The gift opening party is rather old school... it used to be a tea/brunch, and a way for brides to say thank you in person for the gifts they receive, and used to be very common, but has fallen out of tradition.

Lots of brides still have a brunch the following morning, but the gift opening is not a part, largely due to fewer toasters and more cash and cards I would guess! lol

Regardless... advice still stands... talk to your friend. She may not at all care if you're there (she probably would rather not be there herself!)

Good luck!

I've never HEARD of a "gift opening party" and hope that's not a new tradition we will see adopted here in the UK. Weddings are over-fussy as it is, without even more self-indulgent frills. How awful to be expected to watch a couple open their wedding gifts! Where will it all end, I wonder?

In your shoes, I would explain very nicely to the bride that you didn't realise this would be happening and have already made arrangements for that day with family, which you don't feel able to change, especially due to your beloved grandparents being so elderly and you don't want to disappoint them etc. I am sure she will undersand if she is a nice person.

I had never heard of this either, we didn't have one. I just got an email about it yesterday. I didn't even get her a gift. I got her a bridal shower gift but not a wedding gift. I always thought being in the wedding party WAS my gift, especially since it cost >$1,000 to do it. :noway: When she asked me she hadn't picked out anything so there was no price range, and I love her to pieces so of course I'd do it anyway. But spending my last day home for the year watching her open presents from people don't know doesn't sound necessary.

Like I said, just talk to her about it. I'm sure she will be understanding.

If you didn't see your family and something tragic happened before seeing them again, you'd be upset. If you miss the bride opening a new bread maker and something tragic happened to the bread maker before seeing it again, I really don't think you'd care.

Breadmakers are inherently tragic in that they are silly and pointless! What's wrong with a bowl, a wooden spoon and a good old-fashioned oven??

No, send your regrets, wish them well, and forget about it.

A WHAT

It that not rude in the first place to have one of those? I am going to open all your presents in front of everyone else to make sure you feel embarassed or big headed or whatever the case maybe