Is it rude...

A 'gift-opening lunch'?!?!? Damn... I can't think of anything more boring than sitting around watching someone open a bunch of blenders, breadmakers, and knife sets.

I don't think it would be rude in the least to miss it, even if you are in the wedding party.

I think if you explain it to her it will be fine. You have been there for everything else and you have a good reason. Grandparents are very important and you need to spend as much time with them as you are able.

Forgive my bluntness, but a "wedding-gift-opening party" sounds pretty damn stupid. Who wants to sit around and watch people unwrap toasters? It's one thing when it's 10 minutes of a birthday party, but a whole party based on watching people getting free stuff? No thanks.

Spend time with your family. I think the entire premise of the party is rude.

This.

I've never heard of such a thing.... I would feel incredibly awkward opening gifts in front of everyone. Personally, i would never do something like that at my wedding but everyone has a different friends / family dynamic so I guess to each their own.

I am the MOH at my best friends wedding and unfortunately moved 1200 miles away like two weeks after I was asked. I think it would be rude of you to just not show up but I don't believe that you obligated to spend 72 hours up her butt the entire weekend you are there. Call her up and explain the situation and I'm willing to bet she wont have an issue with you passing on the gift party to spend time with family before you leave.

good luck!

Wedding gift opening party? wtf!! Sod the party, I'd be looking for new friends, ones who didn't try to take all your time & energy by dragging their bloody wedding crap on for so long.

What a pointless exercise & totally tacky. What do they do? Open the gift, lift it up for every one to ohh & ahh over & then move on the the next one. How Jersey shore of them! bleurgh.

Hmm...and yet it's not "totally jersey shore" of you to utterly and completely insult other people's traditions, huh? Nice....hope your customs and traditions are 100% proper and free from other people's judgements.

Wow....some people....

Yes wow some people expecting others to sit around whilst they open presents from yet other people. Like I said tacky.

I would hope whatever "my" traditions are they wouldn't be at the expense of other peoples good graces nor at the expense of my own good sense. :noway:

This is "expected" because it's a tradition in some areas. Maybe you don't know the definition? Might I refer you to dictionary.com if you need help. Just like a rehearsal dinner or a bridal shower, a gift opening is traditional to a wedding event in the upper midwest. YOU might not agree with it, but it's NOT to the expense of other people seeing as how they would have already bought you a gift. As an invited person, you are expected to do nothing other than enjoy the food and drink that the bride and groom (or their families) provide to you and enjoy their company in a RELAXED environment. It's a time to relive the day before. Tell stories that maybe the bride didn't see or hear since she was so busy. So yeah...I guess it's just rude and uncouth for people to want to enjoy casual time with their friends and family and to thank them for all of their hard work and support for the most special day of their lives. Boy....what savages....

IMO - asking people to watch you open gifts is rude. Lol.

I'd have to agree. I've never even heard of a "gift opening party". All the other wedding crap is alright, but this just seems materialistic and ostentatious.

IMO - asking people to watch you open gifts is rude. Lol. I'm just do not into wedding crap. Just tell them you'd like to spend that day with your family.

I agree that asking people to watch you open gits is rude. I've never even heard of anyone doing this before either.

Actually the day after luncheon (or breakfast) to watch the bride and groom open gifts is quite common from where I come from. It's really not about the gifts though...i think that was cooked up so that this event could be lumped into "wedding festivities" (gotta have a reason you know?)

anyways, it's really a (usually in my area anyways) catered affair at the reception hall where the wedding was, it's an opportunity for the bride and groom to buy everyone breakfast (especially travellers) and have that last visit before everyone goes back to where they came from....to be honest in the million of these events I have been too, I have only seen two couples actually open gifts, the time is mostly spent going from table to table visiting with people who you didn't get to really say hi to at the crazy day known as your wedding...eat a little brekkie and laugh at the still tired kids and still hungover young adults....

It's a great time to get together and visit...but that's really the purpose (from where I come from) so if you asked someone if you could visit the family instead, the answer would more than likely be sure go ahead.....

ask her...no harm, no foul...if she's your friend, she A) knows how often you get home to see people and knows how important family is to you...so she'll say yes.

Lauren

sounds like there are some jelous people out there....

In most cases having a gift opening is not rude!!! Couple who do have one it is out of tradition not selfishness...sheesh

that being said it is also usually very casual and nobody gives a *kitten* who comes and who doesn't...

EXACTLY!

if you are a part of the wedding party, i think you should go.

I've never heard of a gift opening party. What a selfish, indulgent, ridiculous waste of time! I would not go....

(and no I am not jealous, I have all the household carp I need and then some!)

AND another thing? Doesn't the couple go away to spend one-on-one time with each other on their wedding night? Why would they want to get up early the next morning and go to yet another event? Wouldn't they want to enjoy their first morning as husband and wife together?

Really... enough partying already! After the wedding they should be on their honeymoon with each other alone! :drinker: My brother actually had gift openers at his reception... they opened the gifts and made a list of who gave what and attached the card to the gift.

I actually went to the gift opening luncheon when I was Matron of Honor for a friend but I lived close by. I can tell you if I traveled to it she would have understood my not being there!

sounds like there are some jealous people out there....

In most cases having a gift opening is not rude!!! Couple who do have one it is out of tradition not selfishness...sheesh

that being said it is also usually very casual and nobody gives a *kitten* who comes and who doesn't...

Oh yes, every time someone disagrees with something it's because they are jealous.

just saying it "SOUNDS" like people are jealous, can't handle watching others open gifts...could care less if you agree or not

Yes there are obligations to be fulfilled when you are a part of the wedding party. But you know you're friend well enough to know whether she will think you are being rude by missing out on the gift openings. This must be a new custom because i've never heard of it before. Typically the presents are sent prior to or brought the day of the wedding and opened later by the couple. I know some brides have bridal showers before the wedding date and some gifts are recieved there. My husbands nephew just got married and there was 3 bridal showers. One thrown by the brides church, one by a friend and one by her grandmother. No one on my husbands side was invited to the any of them other then the mother of the groom and her daughter in law (grooms brothers wife). Needless to say my husbands sister in law and i were a bit put off by this and the excuse given was that the brides family didnt know us and didnt have our info to send an invitation. Apparently they didnt ask the bride for a list of invitees. My husband was a groomsman and you would think they would have invited the wives of of the groomsmen that were not bridesmaids. Guess not...

To be honest the wedding thing is becoming a bit ridiculous. It seems like instead of a one day event to celebrate with family and friends, some are turning it into an all out "Olympic event"! And I'm sorry to sounded jaded but I think it has more to do with trying to out do others or live up to TV's wedding reality show standards than the magnitude of their love. When people have a maid of honor, a best man, 6 bridesmaids, 6 groomsmen, 3 flower girls, a ring bearer, their dogs/cats etc...in their wedding party is it because they want all these participants to share in an important moment? Or are they trying to impress someone. When a bride asks you to shell out $800 dollars (or more) for a dress, pay for travel and lodging, pay for additional required expenses and maybe miss out on income from work days missed is it because you are a dear friend/close family member she wants to be there for her, or is it because she's trying to meet the required wedding party quota? The size and expense of a wedding does not determine the happiness and longevity of the marriage...and from what i've seen in my life all too often the excessive amount spent puts an unhealthy strain on family's, friendships, and the Newlyweds household budget!!

Hope you work it all out and enjoy the festivities!!!

I've never heard of a gift opening party. What a selfish, indulgent, ridiculous waste of time! I would not go....

(and no I am not jealous, I have all the household carp I need and then some!)

AND another thing? Doesn't the couple go away to spend one-on-one time with each other on their wedding night? Why would they want to get up early the next morning and go to yet another event? Wouldn't they want to enjoy their first morning as husband and wife together?

BECAUSE IT IS A TRADITION!!!!!!!

TRADITION!!!!

one more time

TRADTION