Sleeping in seperate beds, what do you think?

...The other is cause I'm a violent sleeper. I toss and turn and have in the past accidently broke hubbys nose in my sleep! ...

OMG, OUCH!~!! lol

lol...so you think you're a quiet sleeper...perhaps you're not?


If you're not talking over this and considering breaking up, good lord just get it over with...it's just sleeping... the lack of being able to discuss it and be considerate about eachothers wants seems a bit childish.

People talking like there is some deep mystery here....ok well what does he do...is he in school? Does he work in a physically stressing job? When I don't get sleep (which is often cuz my husband snores and UFC fights in bed), I'm in the worst mood. Sometimes I move myself to another bed. It's not unheard of that someone wants to actually SLEEP when they go to bed...to sleep..and all.

I am TELLING you, no good guy would want to be with a younger girl.

My husband is twenty years older than me...................we've been together for 14 years. Don't spout nonsense.

lol sometimes its been so hot at night that i wear nothing! he knows it but doesn't seem to care :I

And apparently he wants you in a totally different bed just to make sure nothing happens. You need to find out what's wrong. Either he had his testicles crushed in an industrial accident, he's interested in men, or he's not turned on by you. If you're not married, don't have kids, and he won't change.... get out while you can.

I sleep naked and my husband isn't always all over me. He's not gay, his testicles haven't been crushed and I most certainly turn him on.

The OP hasn't answered the question of what the real underlying reason for this is. They are not speaking to each other over this and she's going to dump him for it. There is something else going on besides his want of separate beds. So OP, what's the real issue here?

Ugh, you also said you are in your early twenties and he has been living alone for a long time. Is he much older than you? I don't care who disagrees with me, but as a FABULOUS 42 year old woman - I am TELLING you, no good guy would want to be with a younger girl. People who are older have more life experience come from a position of power and an imbalance of power in a relationship is never good. PLUS are moving into his place? WHY? Do you plan on building a life together or just fitting into his? You should RUN!!!

What are you talking about? One, he could be 26 and have been on his own since he was 18. At 26 he would think 8 years is a long time. Plus, a 26-year-old woman can date a 30-something man without there being a power imbalance.

And what's the problem with one person moving into the other person's home? You seem to have some serious issues.

I sleep naked and my husband isn't always all over me. He's not gay, his testicles haven't been crushed and I most certainly turn him on.

The OP seems to indicate that he never responds to this and he also wants to move her to a totally different bed. Is your husband ignoring you and putting you in a different bed than him at night? Of course you don't get attacked every night. People need recovery days but a total lack of interest all the time is a big deal.

Oh you just need what my wife and I have - MEGABED.

It's a Twin and a Queen pushed together. (I get the twin of course). The extra space means no blankie stealing or accidental "wolverine having a bad dream about the war" impaling. If one of us has a restless night the other doesn't get affected. I get to have my firm mattress, she gets to have her weird all-engulfing soft white blood cell type thing.

And best of all, wanna cuddle... you can just roll right over across the gap and do so.

... but as a FABULOUS 42 year old woman - I am TELLING you, no good guy would want to be with a younger girl. People who are older have more life experience come from a position of power and an imbalance of power in a relationship is never good.

Whoa now!! lol... I married a good older guy, those are fightin' words!!

Ugh, you also said you are in your early twenties and he has been living alone for a long time. Is he much older than you? I don't care who disagrees with me, but as a FABULOUS 42 year old woman - I am TELLING you, no good guy would want to be with a younger girl. People who are older have more life experience come from a position of power and an imbalance of power in a relationship is never good. PLUS are moving into his place? WHY? Do you plan on building a life together or just fitting into his? You should RUN!!!

Really? And as a FABULOUS 37 year old woman - I am TELLING you, MEN GO FOR YOUNGER WOMEN!

okay this one is keeping me in suspense....WTF is the rest of the story? i hate when mine doesnt come to bed and falls asleep on the couch. i never sleep well and we arent entangled or anything like that...i just like the presence -- except when im mad at him and in that case i was mad that he came to bed last night asshat.

All that matters it that is bothers you. If it bothers you and he does not care, then that is the real issue in my opinion. If he will not now take into consideration your feelings and needs then he never will.

Peach wins. Doesn't really matter what random people on the internet think. If it hurts you, that's the problem

And for the record, I sleep on the couch 3-4 times a week b/c of the snoring.

I sleep naked and my husband isn't always all over me. He's not gay, his testicles haven't been crushed and I most certainly turn him on.

The OP seems to indicate that he never responds to this and he also wants to move her to a totally different bed. Is your husband ignoring you and putting you in a different bed than him at night? Of course you don't get attacked every night. People need recovery days but a total lack of interest all the time is a big deal.

She didn't say all the time she said "sometimes it's so hot at night I don't wear anything. He knows this but doesn't do anything". Some people don't like to have sex when it's hot out. I don't always like it. Also if you read all the other posts that I have typed you would see that I also said that we are obviously not getting the whole picture. The fact that they are not speaking to each other and she is going to dump him over something as ridiculous as not sleeping in the same bed is a red flag that something else is going on and this is just the catalyst.

There is more to it than him not wanting anything to happen or being inconsiderate or not caring she's naked. The OP is not addressing the whole issue.

i don't know why people are making a huge deal.

he finds it easier to sleep along. some people do. wanting a decent night's sleep doesn't make him gay or mean he doesn't love her. it's a silly, overly emotional assumption. give the guy a break!


it's a compatability issue, nothing more and nothing less. screw what other people do! you two need to decide if you can compromise or if you need to part. neither of you is in the wrong for wanting what you want.

This!

I realize you're in your early 20s so maybe this is hard, but try to accept that maybe this isn't all about you and his feelings for you.

do you snore? are you a violent sleeper? Hubby and I sleep in different rooms! I sleep in our room and he sleeps on the couch in the living room. This is for two good reasons. He snores like a chainsaw and I NEVER sleep when he is next to me because of this. The other is cause I'm a violent sleeper. I toss and turn and have in the past accidently broke hubbys nose in my sleep! Now we both would love to be able to cuddle next to each other everynight in the same bed, it's just not pratical and in our case safe!

It wasn't too long ago that my hubby woke me up by punching me in the head (in his sleep), he also suffers from night terrors... Luckily at the moment it doesn't get violent too often so we can still share a bed but I do feel your pain!