Sleeping in seperate beds, what do you think?

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  • LindaCWy
    LindaCWy Posts: 463 Member
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    Oh you just need what my wife and I have - MEGABED.

    It's a Twin and a Queen pushed together. (I get the twin of course). The extra space means no blankie stealing or accidental "wolverine having a bad dream about the war" impaling. If one of us has a restless night the other doesn't get affected. I get to have my firm mattress, she gets to have her weird all-engulfing soft white blood cell type thing.

    And best of all, wanna cuddle... you can just roll right over across the gap and do so.

    I want a MEGABED... is all I got from this
  • jen_bd6
    jen_bd6 Posts: 501 Member
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    Ugh, you also said you are in your early twenties and he has been living alone for a long time. Is he much older than you? I don't care who disagrees with me, but as a FABULOUS 42 year old woman - I am TELLING you, no good guy would want to be with a younger girl. People who are older have more life experience come from a position of power and an imbalance of power in a relationship is never good. PLUS are moving into his place? WHY? Do you plan on building a life together or just fitting into his? You should RUN!!!

    Some people just give terrible advice...

    Agreed... terrible advice is right... I have dated men older than me, and they were good guys... The relationships didn't even end on bad terms, just didn't work out. I know plenty of couples who are married (happily even) where the husband is older than the wife... People who don't know what they are talking about should think twice before giving "advice".
  • beccyleigh
    beccyleigh Posts: 847 Member
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    I suffer from deep wave parasonmia & my husband would love to get separate beds but i said no, we compromised & got a super king size. sort of resolves the issue as long as he doesn't move to much & sets me off.

    As for sleeping in single beds on either side of the room, I think you have bigger problems tbh, he clearly has some issues about sleeping next to you, you could push the beds together & still get decent sleep alone.
  • jadedzen
    jadedzen Posts: 221 Member
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    Right now I am sleep deprived because my dear boyfriend snore!!!

    So I vote for sleeping in 2 different rooms

    ^^^^^^This, so very much. My fiance has untreated sleep apnea and i wear ear plugs and all but STILL get woken up by him. Though i'd want to be in a completely different room. possibly on the other side of the house.
  • RedHeadDevotchka
    RedHeadDevotchka Posts: 1,394 Member
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    I sleep in a separate bed from the husband. We love each and cuddle before bed, but I LOVE my sleep!!! we have the beds close to each other so we can hold hands or something, but I am a wild sleeper and he's massive so it works out.
  • marie_cressman
    marie_cressman Posts: 980 Member
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    i think you should sit down and talk. not talking isn't going to help. you explain why it bothers you and he can explain why it bothers him. talk it out and maybe you guys can figure out how to make you both happy.

    that being said, i sleep well with or without my husband in the bed. he deploys for a year at a time. i PREFER him here obviously, but that doesn't always happen. i enjoy cuddling. he doesn't. he will hold me until i fall asleep because he knows i like it, but when i'm asleep, he will roll over because sleeping on his side is uncomfortable. i'm fine with that. we compromise.
  • bcampbell54
    bcampbell54 Posts: 932 Member
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    His reason for sleeping in seperate beds is so that he can get a good sleep which I find weird considering I'm the most quiet sleeper in the world and he actually snores!

    How do you know that?
  • future_runner
    future_runner Posts: 136 Member
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    I'd say go for a king, as others have said and see how you like that. My story on living with the BF- for both of us this is the first time we've lived with a significant other (both 25) and for the first month he moved in to my one bedroom while we were waiting for our 2 bedroom to be available and I did not think it would work out. Now that we are in a two bedroom its been great. I've decided the key to sharing your life with someone is to never share the bathroom!! And separate closets are nice as well.
  • Grimmerick
    Grimmerick Posts: 3,344 Member
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    Ugh, you also said you are in your early twenties and he has been living alone for a long time. Is he much older than you? I don't care who disagrees with me, but as a FABULOUS 42 year old woman - I am TELLING you, no good guy would want to be with a younger girl. People who are older have more life experience come from a position of power and an imbalance of power in a relationship is never good. PLUS are moving into his place? WHY? Do you plan on building a life together or just fitting into his? You should RUN!!!

    LOL this is crap. age means nothing. 10yrs between my husband and i and im pretty confident after being together for 11yrs hes a great "guy" (i prefer man but whatever) who has turned into a loving husband and wonderful father.

    I agree that is total crap. My grandpa 10 years older than my grandma, my uncle 11 years older than my aunt, and Me 11 years younger than my fiance, and guess what I went after him not the other way around, and he actually said no the first time I asked him because he thought I wasn't serious. Some women like older men that doesn't make the man a pervert or a bad guy. especially when the girl reaches her 20's that age gap closes. I of course don't agree with a 15 year old and a 25 year old.........because she isn't an adult and doesn't think like one yet.
  • LifeChangingExp
    LifeChangingExp Posts: 459
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    Um throw him out with both beds and find a hot babe who wants to wake up to your beautiful face everyday .
  • Shelbert79
    Shelbert79 Posts: 517 Member
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    Hmmm, maybe you need a bigger bed. When my hubby and I first got together we were sharing a full size bed (he's 6'4" 250lbs and I'm not tiny). When I got pregnant with our first child I ended up sleeping in a different bed because there just wasn't enough room for the 2 1/2 of us and my body pillow. That only lasted for a month or two until we could afford to upgrade to the king size bed. Also, as much as I love to cuddle when we're awake, neither one of us like to touch when we're sleeping so having a big bed is nice.
  • bcampbell54
    bcampbell54 Posts: 932 Member
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    Ugh, you also said you are in your early twenties and he has been living alone for a long time. Is he much older than you? I don't care who disagrees with me, but as a FABULOUS 42 year old woman - I am TELLING you, no good guy would want to be with a younger girl. People who are older have more life experience come from a position of power and an imbalance of power in a relationship is never good. PLUS are moving into his place? WHY? Do you plan on building a life together or just fitting into his? You should RUN!!!

    You sound very athletic, the way you jump to conclusions and all..
  • Mhaney
    Mhaney Posts: 467 Member
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    sorry I'm with the boyfriend on this one. I love to sleep alone and hate cuddling.
  • Rukadare
    Rukadare Posts: 101 Member
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    My boyfriend's grandparents sleep in two different rooms and they have for many years now. His grandma snores very loud, and his grandpa is a ridiculously light sleeper, so the two of them sleeping together is not an option if they want to have "a good night's sleep". However, according to his grandma, it makes the time that they DO decide to visit each others beds all the more special and fun. ;) Haha! They've got such a sweet and caring relationship going, that I seriously do not think that your boyfriend is not trying to be rude or hurtful; he is just being truthful. And for that you should be happy. If he has a hard time sleeping when there's someone in the bed next to him...then he has a hard time sleeping! Some people are just like that, and for you to want to break up with him just because of that...is...:(

    Tell him how you feel, and and try to compromise if you truly care about him. If sleeping in separate beds for the rest of your life is something you absolutely cannot do, break up, I guess..
  • Brengild
    Brengild Posts: 127
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    My husband and I sleep in seperate beds, in seperate bedrooms, that happen to be on seperate floors of the house! We have plenty of "intimacy". We just have different sleep needs. Different mattresses, room temp, he snores, I like to watch tv etc. I think there is more to the story, if everything were ok otherwise, this should not be a dealbreaker. And, no problem ever got solved by not speaking to each other!
  • Grimmerick
    Grimmerick Posts: 3,344 Member
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    My boyfriend's grandparents sleep in two different rooms and they have for many years now. His grandma snores very loud, and his grandpa is a ridiculously light sleeper, so the two of them sleeping together is not an option if they want to have "a good night's sleep". However, according to his grandma, it makes the time that they DO decide to visit each others beds all the more special and fun. ;) Haha! They've got such a sweet and caring relationship going, that I seriously do not think that your boyfriend is not trying to be rude or hurtful; he is just being truthful. And for that you should be happy. If he has a hard time sleeping when there's someone in the bed next to him...then he has a hard time sleeping! Some people are just like that, and for you to want to break up with him just because of that...is...:(

    Tell him how you feel, and and try to compromise if you truly care about him. If sleeping in separate beds for the rest of your life is something you absolutely cannot do, break up, I guess..

    girl Debbie Gibson is your Doppleganger, you look just like her.........................I mean this as a compliment she is beautiful
  • VanessaGS
    VanessaGS Posts: 514 Member
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    It depends is he trying to be respectful cuz if he is then kudos to him, or is there a different issue at hand?
  • SyntonicGarden
    SyntonicGarden Posts: 944 Member
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    His reason for sleeping in seperate beds is so that he can get a good sleep which I find weird considering I'm the most quiet sleeper in the world and he actually snores!

    I'm thinking of breaking up with him over it, it's so hard not to take it personally and wonder if this is really about him or me. He has lived on his own for quite a long time though and I guess you become accustomed to that single lifestyle?

    Living on your own can certainly do that. It takes some people a little longer to adjust than others. I grew up with siblings, so we always fell asleep squished next to each other on long car rides. My other half was an only child for a long time. Maybe that has something to do with it too. Maybe not.

    Maybe you can compromise? During the week, he's in his bed. On the weekends, you sleep together, if the bed is big enough.
  • cargotrailer
    cargotrailer Posts: 62 Member
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    Maybe you're "throwing off his whole sleep,, you've got the jimmy legs".......
  • missfelicia6
    missfelicia6 Posts: 174 Member
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    Hey, at least you wont get pregnant. Also, he's gay.

    lol....ouch

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