Talk about a slap in the face. Motivation depleted.

someone who doesn't appreciate you as you are now doesn't deserve you as you " have the potential" to be. Bu bye

Yes the second picture is me now.

Sweetheart...LOSE that motherf*cker, and lose the weight for YOU.

You look great NOW, so you will look even better once you reach your goal. You are 23, and you have your ENTIRE life ahead of you. Don't waste it on some dude who has baggage, and don't "acquire" his baggage. If you aren't good enough for him NOW, you will NEVER be good enough for him. I echo the sentiments regarding the possibility of you marrying this *kitten* and having children. Your body will inevitably change. Even if you lose whatever pregancy weight you gain, your body will be different. Do you really want to always have it in the back of your mind that you might not be good enough for him? Not sexy enough? Not thin enough?

To the fellas who say "he was just being honest"....

I do give him credit for his honesty. But, when someone shows you who they are, it is up to us TO BELIEVE THEM. If he wants a perpetually thin woman, that is his unrealistic choice. However, does the OP want to live in doubt of her appearance for the duration of her relationship? Do you have ANY idea what that does to a person's self esteem? PLEASE take a look at her other picture. What heterosexual dude isn't attracted to a figure like THAT?? AND, she's trying to slim down EVEN MORE???!!! No. This dude has some serious issues.

He was just being honest.
Most guys would never do that. Use this as a way to set goals and strive for your own ideal.
Optimal body fat for a lady is around 20%, and as for weight, just fit yourself in the BMI range.
When we are fat, and our SO says we are beautiful, they're lying.
Sometimes the truth hurts, but pain makes us stronger.
The echo chamber will tell you to ditch him but guess what?
Every other guy will feel the same way. They just lie better.
Good Luck :flowerforyou:

THIS IS THE BIGGEST BUNCH OF CRAP I HAVE EVER HEARD! YOU ARE THE PROBABLY THE DOUCHE WHO SAID THAT TO THAT POOR GIRL!! IF YOU DON'T THINK YOUR WIFE IS BEAUTIFUL EVERY SINGLE DAY OF HER LIFE THEN I HOPE SHE DROPS YOU LIKE A HOT COAL AND FINDS HERSELF A REAL MAN!

careful.....:laugh:
Fanaticism is the brother of doubt.
I think you are so angry, because you know I hit a truth so hard to accept.
As usual......

So did you go to her profile and look at her pictures? Can you say she is overweight and unattractive/unhealthy?

I think she is beautiful and she looks great and everybody, including the SO, KNOWS she is trying hard to tone.

Your comments are insignificant to this conversation and situation. This boy is obviously never going to stay satisfied.

This isn't about being honest or whatever. This is about body image and the sick idea that 145 pounds is unhealthy and unattractive. It's not like she is even fat or anything. She ISN'T. She looks healthy and good. And she's trying to tone. Anybody who loves or cares for her would never put her down like that, like how he told her. Ever. Period. The end.

I am thinking you are right.
My comparison of situations may not apply.
Still, use this incident to strive for your ideal - whatever that is for you.
Love him, leave him, but just keep punching and working to reach potential.

^^^This.

When I started to gain weight, my husband told me. He told me I was beautiful, and that he would go to the gym with me. He said it kindly and with love. He knew I wasn't happy with my body. Now we are both happy. I am 100% for honesty in relationships.

But this-- this is just mean an insensitive.


Dump him and keep up your awesome NEW healthy life!!

Yow! Take it from an old coot who is celebrating his 39th anniversary with my wife today.

Someday, for any number of reasons - having babies, injuries, bad knees, whatever - you will gain weight. And this dipstick is going to dump you. And he'll say something like "I told you I am only attracted to you when you are thin.." or something along those lines. And he will move on to an even younger honey.

He is an unfeeling loser. Dump him as fast as you can and count yourself lucky. :drinker:

Exactly my thoughts too!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Yow! Take it from an old coot who is celebrating his 39th anniversary with my wife today.

Someday, for any number of reasons - having babies, injuries, bad knees, whatever - you will gain weight. And this dipstick is going to dump you. And he'll say something like "I told you I am only attracted to you when you are thin.." or something along those lines. And he will move on to an even younger honey.

He is an unfeeling loser. Dump him as fast as you can and count yourself lucky. :drinker:

^^^^ Yep!!!


Beauty...youth it's only temporary!!

Please get out while you still can. He sounds like he will just end up controlling, even if you're the weight he thinks you should be. You can find a man who will love you & find you beautiful at 130 or 230. They're out there. I weigh 80 pounds more now than when I married my husband (kids, etc.). There are pictures on the wall from our wedding. I've told my husband that I feel so unattractive because of my weight & he replied (with all honesty), "I don't see it. You look the same to me now as when I met you."

Don't EVER let that man have a chance to tell you that you aren't attractive again. In 10 years, he'll probably be overweight, losing his hair, divorced, & wishing he'd never let the hottest woman he'd had get away!

Please listen to the other posters before me and don't move to be with this guy. Points to him for honesty, but wow! You need to lose your weight to make yourself happy. Don't do it for some guy who talked to you like that!

5,000 miles apart makes it easier to not miss him when he is your ex. Give him points for being honest, but seriously???? BYEBYE!!!!

Exactly what she said ^^^ gosh, i so sorry. But you do deserve someone who loves you for you. Keep looking and work on yourself for YOU

Btw, i used to babysit (when i was a teenager) for a couple with 3 kids and the husband was a jerk. The wife had to work out so and so much, could not gain a pound or she would be out on a diet... omg, she was miserable until they got divorced years later. Now she is very happy. And the guy is still the same jerk. I'm pretty sure he cheated on her multiple times...

Take it from someone who made this mistake- get out now. My husband is exactly like this guy, and my life is miserable. What's funny is, he met me when I was thin (my after pic was taken the day before we met actually), and occasionally nit-picked me even then. If my make-up wasn't always done I was being a slob. If I wore sweat pants even for hanging around the house I was a slob. And I ask myself almost every day "WHY? Why did you marry this guy?" He saw that pic of me on my camera about a year ago and said "you used to be so-hot, why didn't you ever look like this for me?" To which I informed him that's EXACTLY what I looked like when we met, and showed him the digital date stamp on the photo proving it was from the day before we met. He said, "I don't remember you ever looking hot." And now that I'm bigger from having a baby, he straight up tells me I disgust him, and that he should've listened when his mom told him not to marry me because I'd probably get fat again some day.

I am where I am, and I will stay- it was a bad decision, but it was my decision, and my little girl loves her daddy too much for me to even think about taking him out of her life. But if you can get out, get out!!!!!! It will not get better. We have times where it seems as though he's finally gotten over it, but then he'll snap and it starts all over again.