Opinion: why do men feel the need to offer advice to me in the weight room?

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  • dbmata
    dbmata Posts: 12,951 Member
    edited November 2014
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    Kalikel wrote: »
    dbmata wrote: »
    Kalikel wrote: »
    Wear a wedding ring. See what happens. :)

    There's a reason I don't wear mine. Wanna see why?
    If it's sexual, No, thank you.

    If it's gross, Hell, yes. I live for that stuff. :)
    Heh, take a gander.

    deglovedspecialaffects2.jpg

    That's a sample from a special fx person. So that's not real, which is why it's so clean, and exhibits an extremely low level of trauma. However, this happens. Particularly possible during rock climbing as well.
  • dbmata
    dbmata Posts: 12,951 Member
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    yoovie wrote: »
    I'd rather have that happening than the opposite. what a lonely world that would be. There wouldnt even be forums because it would be a complete everyone for themselves attitude.
    Squats for Tea Party Jesus?
    .... sadness....
  • JeffseekingV
    JeffseekingV Posts: 3,165 Member
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    JoRocka wrote: »
    I have never really had someone correct my form before unless it was as a peer.

    I don't deal with being talked down to and I don't deal with correct from complete strangers- so I don't.

    But I get pretty comfortable with the regulars- I trust a few certain of them and they trust me- I know they keep an eye out for people and are willing to help as needed under heavy unspotted loads.

    I do the same for them.

    I do understand these random instances happen- but I mostly just look at them and go- you like what you see? (usually the answer is yes)... and then I say- well clearly what I'm doing is working- which means I don't really need help.

    And often times- if you just show up and keep doing the work- they stop realizing your the girl lifting and someone who came to train- and they don't "bother you" they do head nods- and ask if you need a spot- because perhaps you ACTUALLY need it. You become a member of the community- not an oddity.

    Work out intently- don't be afraid to tell people you cant' talk b/c you're mid set or you're in the middle of something and just move on. It's not about emotions- it's about getting work done- lay that ground work out- and you'll be good to go.

    Girl, no one is going to correct your form when you're lifting more weight than them. haha
  • JeffseekingV
    JeffseekingV Posts: 3,165 Member
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    212019156 wrote: »
    I have done this in the past, but only if they were doing something that would get them hurt or if they ask. Otherwise I never offer unsolicited advice.

    Agreed. As long as they aren't going to kill themselves, I'll tend to keep my mouth shut
  • JMoore221979
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    Because most are dbags...I see people all the time with bad form etc but hey that's their thing not mine. I don't think I have ever talked to someone that hasn't initiated conversation. I'm not there for social hour.
  • yoovie
    yoovie Posts: 17,121 Member
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    dbmata wrote: »
    yoovie wrote: »
    I'd rather have that happening than the opposite. what a lonely world that would be. There wouldnt even be forums because it would be a complete everyone for themselves attitude.
    Squats for Tea Party Jesus?
    .... sadness....

    no no no

    Atlas Shrugs.

  • dbmata
    dbmata Posts: 12,951 Member
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    yoovie wrote: »
    dbmata wrote: »
    yoovie wrote: »
    I'd rather have that happening than the opposite. what a lonely world that would be. There wouldnt even be forums because it would be a complete everyone for themselves attitude.
    Squats for Tea Party Jesus?
    .... sadness....

    no no no

    Atlas Shrugs.

    HAH!

    Cute+Cat+Laugh.jpg
  • Sam_I_Am77
    Sam_I_Am77 Posts: 2,093 Member
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    Probably because you're hot and they're dbags. I don't stop and give anybody advice and there were a couple times where I was really afraid these individuals might seriously hurt themselves and I wanted to, but I figured they would just be pissy and write a thread on MFP about me. LOL
  • dbmata
    dbmata Posts: 12,951 Member
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    Sam gave me advice once.

    I had to take penicillin afterwards.
  • Sam_I_Am77
    Sam_I_Am77 Posts: 2,093 Member
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    dbmata wrote: »
    Sam gave me advice once.

    I had to take penicillin afterwards.

    I don't wear protection either. I may have accidentally touched the Smith machine before I chatted with you, probably why.
  • kelly_e_montana
    kelly_e_montana Posts: 1,999 Member
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    Word is the gym used to be a place people socialized about training, share ideas, and have fun. Now apparently everyone who wants to talk to someone else is a sexual creepster. Social anxiety is at its peak in 2014.

    When? I've been going to gyms since half the people on MFP were born. I don't remember this. I pretty much remember wanting to work out. If I wanted to be social, I'd take classes.

  • kelly_e_montana
    kelly_e_montana Posts: 1,999 Member
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    Word is the gym used to be a place people socialized about training, share ideas, and have fun. Now apparently everyone who wants to talk to someone else is a sexual creepster. Social anxiety is at its peak in 2014.
    Meh. I'm not sure that's true. There's a world of difference between sharing ideas and approaching someone you don't know and offering unsolicited advice. By doing that, you are approaching a (more or less) stranger and telling them they are wrong and you are right. That's it in it's most basic form. I'm not sure why anyone would find that palatable whether you are a man or woman.
    This. ^^^ :)
  • kelly_e_montana
    kelly_e_montana Posts: 1,999 Member
    edited November 2014
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    Can I just say that I am a bartender in a town of about 50,000 and that three times in the last month random dudes from the gym have said something to me in the gym and then later THE SAME NIGHT showed up at my work? They did ask me out after drinking a bunch of liquid courage, so I'm pretty sure what the intent was. My town isn't THAT small and I'm the admin for our business page, so I'm pretty sure I was located via Facebook. So I'm not saying anything to anyone at the gym period unless they look like they're in high school and can spot me.
  • dbmata
    dbmata Posts: 12,951 Member
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    I lol'ed.

    drama_llama222-95a26627fd034c544a49686bb0518dbb.jpg
  • AmandaHugginkiss
    AmandaHugginkiss Posts: 486 Member
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    JoRocka wrote: »
    I have never really had someone correct my form before unless it was as a peer.

    I don't deal with being talked down to and I don't deal with correct from complete strangers- so I don't.

    But I get pretty comfortable with the regulars- I trust a few certain of them and they trust me- I know they keep an eye out for people and are willing to help as needed under heavy unspotted loads.

    I do the same for them.

    I do understand these random instances happen- but I mostly just look at them and go- you like what you see? (usually the answer is yes)... and then I say- well clearly what I'm doing is working- which means I don't really need help.

    And often times- if you just show up and keep doing the work- they stop realizing your the girl lifting and someone who came to train- and they don't "bother you" they do head nods- and ask if you need a spot- because perhaps you ACTUALLY need it. You become a member of the community- not an oddity.

    Work out intently- don't be afraid to tell people you cant' talk b/c you're mid set or you're in the middle of something and just move on. It's not about emotions- it's about getting work done- lay that ground work out- and you'll be good to go.

    Girl, no one is going to correct your form when you're lifting more weight than them. haha

    Not necessarily true. I had a guy try to correct my form on bent over rows today even though I pull more than he does. He told me I was going to injure my elbow. I laughed it off and explained to him how to avoid injuring himself the next time he tried bent over rows. Then he hit on me, which I totally expected.

    Same day, another man tried to help me with removing the 30 pound barbell from a vertical stand. I said "not a problem, I got this" then proceeded to look like an idiot when I couldn't pull it out. He was trying to help me because he knew the stand was bent and the barbell was stuck. I apologized to him, and he went back to doing his thing.

    It's really easy to tell the *kitten* from the good guys, and not every guy in the gym is there to hit on you. Some guys are just genuinely nice people.
  • AmandaHugginkiss
    AmandaHugginkiss Posts: 486 Member
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    Since when is d-bags censored?
  • dbmata
    dbmata Posts: 12,951 Member
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    so if someone wants to hit on you, they are automatically not a good guy?

    Interesting.
  • AmandaHugginkiss
    AmandaHugginkiss Posts: 486 Member
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    dbmata wrote: »
    so if someone wants to hit on you, they are automatically not a good guy?

    Interesting.

    He can't pull 35 pounds on a bent over row and tried to give me lifting advice. Does it matter whether he's a good guy or a bad guy?
  • AmandaHugginkiss
    AmandaHugginkiss Posts: 486 Member
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    Besides, I said he was a d-bag, not a bad guy.
  • dbmata
    dbmata Posts: 12,951 Member
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    Deflection. Full image is being rendered.