Is Partying Worth It?
malavika413
Posts: 474 Member
Hey y'all. I'm just asking a question to the peanut gallery, trying to get a variety of opinions.
I'm nearly 20 and a college student. I have a lot of friends that like to party on the weekends (dorm parties, since there's no greek life at my school), and they always invite me. I've never gone, but I'm very curious. However, there are a few reasons that I've held back. I've never had a sip of alcohol in my life, so I don't know how I'd react to it. I don't know what to wear. I have a boyfriend that's very against alcohol and partying, and I'd either have to go behind his back or go knowing he'd be worried about me and my safety. Also, most girls go to parties to flirt with guys, which would dismay my boyfriend. I'm not attractive, so no one would hit on me, but still.
Is it worth going to a college party at least once? My friends really want me to go and experience it, and I am curious. What do you think?
I'm nearly 20 and a college student. I have a lot of friends that like to party on the weekends (dorm parties, since there's no greek life at my school), and they always invite me. I've never gone, but I'm very curious. However, there are a few reasons that I've held back. I've never had a sip of alcohol in my life, so I don't know how I'd react to it. I don't know what to wear. I have a boyfriend that's very against alcohol and partying, and I'd either have to go behind his back or go knowing he'd be worried about me and my safety. Also, most girls go to parties to flirt with guys, which would dismay my boyfriend. I'm not attractive, so no one would hit on me, but still.
Is it worth going to a college party at least once? My friends really want me to go and experience it, and I am curious. What do you think?
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Replies
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You're only young once. If you don't you're simply confirming that youth is wasted on the young ;-)0
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I never went to a college party and I don't regret it one bit.0
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Do what you feel. You are young to be worrying about upsetting a boyfriend. Let him have his moral code and you yours. Don't let someone control your life at 20.You can go to a party and not drink alcohol and have fun too as an option. Wear what you want and feel good in.0
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Go. Just get your own drink(s) and pace yourself with something simple like a can of beer. Mixed stuff at parties can be pretty strong, even though you can't taste the alcohol. It's a fun way to socialize and meet new people. If you're worried about safety, like I said, keep it simple, pace yourself and stay near a friend at all times if possible. Women generally don't need as much to drink as men, depending on your overall size, I'd say no more than 2 or 3 for your first time drinking. If you pace yourself, you'll feel the changes physically. Your face (or you) will feel a little warm and you'll probably become less self conscious than you might be otherwise. That funny feeling is the "buzz" people refer to and depending on the drink and experience level, it might not take as much as people think. Sometimes for me, it's as many as 5 or 6 beers and other times, like on less food in the belly, 3 or 4. I'm drunk at about 8 or 9, but I def wouldn't reccommend that much for you lol0
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Do what you feel. You are young to be worrying about upsetting a boyfriend. Let him have his moral code and you yours. Don't let someone control your life at 20.You can go to a party and not drink alcohol and have fun too as an option. Wear what you want and feel good in.
Since BF wouldn't be with me, it feels like cheating to wear typical 'party apparel'. Does anyone party in an oversized sweater?0 -
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I just don't know if it's right to betray his trust for the sake of a party I may or may not like.
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if you don't like it leave?0
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malavika413 wrote: »Do what you feel. You are young to be worrying about upsetting a boyfriend. Let him have his moral code and you yours. Don't let someone control your life at 20.You can go to a party and not drink alcohol and have fun too as an option. Wear what you want and feel good in.
Since BF wouldn't be with me, it feels like cheating to wear typical 'party apparel'. Does anyone party in an oversized sweater?
Gosh will go to a party in glamorous partywear now at 44 and dont worry about what my husband would think if not with me. Never cast me a thought at 20. Your boyfriend shoukd trust you enough not to worry about your attire.0 -
Anahita_Swims wrote: »if you don't like it leave?
I'd be leaving alone in that case, my friends like to party late into the night, I'd be safer waiting for them. It's not wise to walk around my campus late at night, alone.0 -
malavika413 wrote: »Anahita_Swims wrote: »if you don't like it leave?
I'd be leaving alone in that case, my friends like to party late into the night, I'd be safer waiting for them. It's not wise to walk around my campus late at night, alone.
sounds like a worrying place to be ask security to walk you or take you phone and phone some one while you walk with a torch
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malavika413 wrote: »Do what you feel. You are young to be worrying about upsetting a boyfriend. Let him have his moral code and you yours. Don't let someone control your life at 20.You can go to a party and not drink alcohol and have fun too as an option. Wear what you want and feel good in.
Since BF wouldn't be with me, it feels like cheating to wear typical 'party apparel'. Does anyone party in an oversized sweater?
Gosh will go to a party in glamorous partywear now at 44 and dont worry about what my husband would think if not with me. Never cast me a thought at 20. Your boyfriend shoukd trust you enough not to worry about your attire.
He does trust me, but I feel I wouldn't be sending the right message in party clothes like a dress or tights. I feel it's more appropriate for me to wear oversized, baggy clothes--since I'm taken.0 -
Im only suggesting it because you sound like your curious... go check it out... don't worry about what your friends think you don't have to drink if you don't want to take a bottle of water in you handbag I drink a lot of water when out always have I mean i get wasted with shots too but always drink water....
your having to new experiences...
The party thing the likelhood is you will have fun and giggle at your friend while you watch them get tipsy if you staying sober
Or you will be bored to tears...
I wouldn't recomend a college party as the place you have your first drink ... unless you want to get wasted as some where you don't feel confident with
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malavika413 wrote: »malavika413 wrote: »Do what you feel. You are young to be worrying about upsetting a boyfriend. Let him have his moral code and you yours. Don't let someone control your life at 20.You can go to a party and not drink alcohol and have fun too as an option. Wear what you want and feel good in.
Since BF wouldn't be with me, it feels like cheating to wear typical 'party apparel'. Does anyone party in an oversized sweater?
Gosh will go to a party in glamorous partywear now at 44 and dont worry about what my husband would think if not with me. Never cast me a thought at 20. Your boyfriend shoukd trust you enough not to worry about your attire.
He does trust me, but I feel I wouldn't be sending the right message in party clothes like a dress or tights. I feel it's more appropriate for me to wear oversized, baggy clothes--since I'm taken.
then go in jeans and a t-shirt?0 -
Anahita_Swims wrote: »malavika413 wrote: »malavika413 wrote: »Do what you feel. You are young to be worrying about upsetting a boyfriend. Let him have his moral code and you yours. Don't let someone control your life at 20.You can go to a party and not drink alcohol and have fun too as an option. Wear what you want and feel good in.
Since BF wouldn't be with me, it feels like cheating to wear typical 'party apparel'. Does anyone party in an oversized sweater?
Gosh will go to a party in glamorous partywear now at 44 and dont worry about what my husband would think if not with me. Never cast me a thought at 20. Your boyfriend shoukd trust you enough not to worry about your attire.
He does trust me, but I feel I wouldn't be sending the right message in party clothes like a dress or tights. I feel it's more appropriate for me to wear oversized, baggy clothes--since I'm taken.
then go in jeans and a t-shirt?
That's a good idea. I have plenty of baggy t-shirts, that would work.0 -
Dude, wear what you want to a party. Experience life, have a drink, be a person. You could go in a turtle neck and sweatpants if you want. Partying isn't just about showing cleavage and flirting, it's about celebration, making new friends, and being young.
You could also have your own party, with your boyfriend and friends. Have some wine, eat some food, dance and laugh.
Lighten up! You don't have to drink if you don't want to.0 -
malavika413 wrote: »malavika413 wrote: »Do what you feel. You are young to be worrying about upsetting a boyfriend. Let him have his moral code and you yours. Don't let someone control your life at 20.You can go to a party and not drink alcohol and have fun too as an option. Wear what you want and feel good in.
Since BF wouldn't be with me, it feels like cheating to wear typical 'party apparel'. Does anyone party in an oversized sweater?
Gosh will go to a party in glamorous partywear now at 44 and dont worry about what my husband would think if not with me. Never cast me a thought at 20. Your boyfriend shoukd trust you enough not to worry about your attire.
He does trust me, but I feel I wouldn't be sending the right message in party clothes like a dress or tights. I feel it's more appropriate for me to wear oversized, baggy clothes--since I'm taken.
There's something very wrong if you think that taking pride in your appearance is like cheating...0 -
I think you should just stay at home. It seems that you really don't want to go, don't want trouble with your boyfriend and object ( at least that is how I read it from your answers ) in general to the experience. You will have decades yet to live your life and I think in the grand scheme of things it makes absolutely no difference if you went to a dorm party, or not, especially if you really won't enjoy it much to begin with.0
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malavika413 wrote: »malavika413 wrote: »Do what you feel. You are young to be worrying about upsetting a boyfriend. Let him have his moral code and you yours. Don't let someone control your life at 20.You can go to a party and not drink alcohol and have fun too as an option. Wear what you want and feel good in.
Since BF wouldn't be with me, it feels like cheating to wear typical 'party apparel'. Does anyone party in an oversized sweater?
Gosh will go to a party in glamorous partywear now at 44 and dont worry about what my husband would think if not with me. Never cast me a thought at 20. Your boyfriend shoukd trust you enough not to worry about your attire.
He does trust me, but I feel I wouldn't be sending the right message in party clothes like a dress or tights. I feel it's more appropriate for me to wear oversized, baggy clothes--since I'm taken.
I'm taken and I wear what I want. My boyfriend is fine with that, if he wasn't we wouldn't be together.0 -
Definitely go. You gotta experience it at least once. And to me what you wear is unimportant. Just don't cave in to peer pressure to guzzle down booze - you'll pay for it because your body isn't used to it. Alcohol isn't for everyone so you shouldn't be judged if you drink or don't. And if you choose not to be a drinker/partier, it's gonna be tough to maintain a relationship with one who does. Best of luck to you --0
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Are we back in. The 1940s if women who have a boyfriend or husband can't dress up for fear of giving off a vibe. Am really surprised at this attitude.
Dress the way you are comfortable unless there is a dress code. Also only drink if you want to. Really do what you want to in life and don't worry about others.
Feel partying is part of college life but you can party responsibly and within your own boundaries.0 -
Are you in the US? If so, legal drinking age is 21. So, I'd say totally not worth it, since you'd be breaking the law.0
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TavistockToad wrote: »malavika413 wrote: »malavika413 wrote: »Do what you feel. You are young to be worrying about upsetting a boyfriend. Let him have his moral code and you yours. Don't let someone control your life at 20.You can go to a party and not drink alcohol and have fun too as an option. Wear what you want and feel good in.
Since BF wouldn't be with me, it feels like cheating to wear typical 'party apparel'. Does anyone party in an oversized sweater?
Gosh will go to a party in glamorous partywear now at 44 and dont worry about what my husband would think if not with me. Never cast me a thought at 20. Your boyfriend shoukd trust you enough not to worry about your attire.
He does trust me, but I feel I wouldn't be sending the right message in party clothes like a dress or tights. I feel it's more appropriate for me to wear oversized, baggy clothes--since I'm taken.
There's something very wrong if you think that taking pride in your appearance is like cheating...
I mean, if I wasn't taken I'd wear sweats everywhere and go with my hair unbrushed and makeup ignored. It's comfortable, but I keep up appearances because of my relationship. It doesn't feel right to dress myself up for someone other than him.0 -
malavika413 wrote: »TavistockToad wrote: »malavika413 wrote: »malavika413 wrote: »Do what you feel. You are young to be worrying about upsetting a boyfriend. Let him have his moral code and you yours. Don't let someone control your life at 20.You can go to a party and not drink alcohol and have fun too as an option. Wear what you want and feel good in.
Since BF wouldn't be with me, it feels like cheating to wear typical 'party apparel'. Does anyone party in an oversized sweater?
Gosh will go to a party in glamorous partywear now at 44 and dont worry about what my husband would think if not with me. Never cast me a thought at 20. Your boyfriend shoukd trust you enough not to worry about your attire.
He does trust me, but I feel I wouldn't be sending the right message in party clothes like a dress or tights. I feel it's more appropriate for me to wear oversized, baggy clothes--since I'm taken.
There's something very wrong if you think that taking pride in your appearance is like cheating...
I mean, if I wasn't taken I'd wear sweats everywhere and go with my hair unbrushed and makeup ignored. It's comfortable, but I keep up appearances because of my relationship. It doesn't feel right to dress myself up for someone other than him.
Maybe this has something to do with your upbringing. It's all good, just not the modern view.0 -
malavika413 wrote: »TavistockToad wrote: »malavika413 wrote: »malavika413 wrote: »Do what you feel. You are young to be worrying about upsetting a boyfriend. Let him have his moral code and you yours. Don't let someone control your life at 20.You can go to a party and not drink alcohol and have fun too as an option. Wear what you want and feel good in.
Since BF wouldn't be with me, it feels like cheating to wear typical 'party apparel'. Does anyone party in an oversized sweater?
Gosh will go to a party in glamorous partywear now at 44 and dont worry about what my husband would think if not with me. Never cast me a thought at 20. Your boyfriend shoukd trust you enough not to worry about your attire.
He does trust me, but I feel I wouldn't be sending the right message in party clothes like a dress or tights. I feel it's more appropriate for me to wear oversized, baggy clothes--since I'm taken.
There's something very wrong if you think that taking pride in your appearance is like cheating...
I mean, if I wasn't taken I'd wear sweats everywhere and go with my hair unbrushed and makeup ignored. It's comfortable, but I keep up appearances because of my relationship. It doesn't feel right to dress myself up for someone other than him.
What's wrong with dressing up for yourself?0 -
Your bf shoul want you to be happy and be supportive, even if its not his cup of tea. Its an experience you should try imo. Go and look, dont feel pressured, its just a way to socialise. If you dont like it then, get a cab or get your bf to pick you up. Just wear what you are comfy in.0
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arditarose wrote: »malavika413 wrote: »TavistockToad wrote: »malavika413 wrote: »malavika413 wrote: »Do what you feel. You are young to be worrying about upsetting a boyfriend. Let him have his moral code and you yours. Don't let someone control your life at 20.You can go to a party and not drink alcohol and have fun too as an option. Wear what you want and feel good in.
Since BF wouldn't be with me, it feels like cheating to wear typical 'party apparel'. Does anyone party in an oversized sweater?
Gosh will go to a party in glamorous partywear now at 44 and dont worry about what my husband would think if not with me. Never cast me a thought at 20. Your boyfriend shoukd trust you enough not to worry about your attire.
He does trust me, but I feel I wouldn't be sending the right message in party clothes like a dress or tights. I feel it's more appropriate for me to wear oversized, baggy clothes--since I'm taken.
There's something very wrong if you think that taking pride in your appearance is like cheating...
I mean, if I wasn't taken I'd wear sweats everywhere and go with my hair unbrushed and makeup ignored. It's comfortable, but I keep up appearances because of my relationship. It doesn't feel right to dress myself up for someone other than him.
Maybe this has something to do with your upbringing. It's all good, just not the modern view.
Perhaps. Though if I was doing things in accordance with my upbringing, I wouldn't even be dating.0 -
Also, going to a party doesn't mean you have to drink. You seem like a smart girl, think of it as a social experiment.0
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malavika413 wrote: »arditarose wrote: »malavika413 wrote: »TavistockToad wrote: »malavika413 wrote: »malavika413 wrote: »Do what you feel. You are young to be worrying about upsetting a boyfriend. Let him have his moral code and you yours. Don't let someone control your life at 20.You can go to a party and not drink alcohol and have fun too as an option. Wear what you want and feel good in.
Since BF wouldn't be with me, it feels like cheating to wear typical 'party apparel'. Does anyone party in an oversized sweater?
Gosh will go to a party in glamorous partywear now at 44 and dont worry about what my husband would think if not with me. Never cast me a thought at 20. Your boyfriend shoukd trust you enough not to worry about your attire.
He does trust me, but I feel I wouldn't be sending the right message in party clothes like a dress or tights. I feel it's more appropriate for me to wear oversized, baggy clothes--since I'm taken.
There's something very wrong if you think that taking pride in your appearance is like cheating...
I mean, if I wasn't taken I'd wear sweats everywhere and go with my hair unbrushed and makeup ignored. It's comfortable, but I keep up appearances because of my relationship. It doesn't feel right to dress myself up for someone other than him.
Maybe this has something to do with your upbringing. It's all good, just not the modern view.
Perhaps. Though if I was doing things in accordance with my upbringing, I wouldn't even be dating.
So you have already made some decisions for yourself. It's okay to keep making more, whatever they may be.0 -
TavistockToad wrote: »malavika413 wrote: »TavistockToad wrote: »malavika413 wrote: »malavika413 wrote: »Do what you feel. You are young to be worrying about upsetting a boyfriend. Let him have his moral code and you yours. Don't let someone control your life at 20.You can go to a party and not drink alcohol and have fun too as an option. Wear what you want and feel good in.
Since BF wouldn't be with me, it feels like cheating to wear typical 'party apparel'. Does anyone party in an oversized sweater?
Gosh will go to a party in glamorous partywear now at 44 and dont worry about what my husband would think if not with me. Never cast me a thought at 20. Your boyfriend shoukd trust you enough not to worry about your attire.
He does trust me, but I feel I wouldn't be sending the right message in party clothes like a dress or tights. I feel it's more appropriate for me to wear oversized, baggy clothes--since I'm taken.
There's something very wrong if you think that taking pride in your appearance is like cheating...
I mean, if I wasn't taken I'd wear sweats everywhere and go with my hair unbrushed and makeup ignored. It's comfortable, but I keep up appearances because of my relationship. It doesn't feel right to dress myself up for someone other than him.
What's wrong with dressing up for yourself?
I dunno...just always figured my appearance is for others. Not really sure how else to answer this question.0
This discussion has been closed.
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