Is Partying Worth It?
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malavika413 wrote: »I danced on stage yesterday and there was a booty-shaking part to the dance, and ALL his friends were saying "how could you let her do that? Don't you have any control over her?!" And he said "It's her life, her body, her decision. I thought she looked great on stage and I was happy to be there to support her."
The decisions are always mine--I just don't want to disappoint him because he's always so good to me.
"control over her"???? who the hell is he friends with?!!?0 -
ok TLDR for this whole thread--- you will grow up one day..... sorry but it's true0
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amy0louise wrote: »malavika413 wrote: »I danced on stage yesterday and there was a booty-shaking part to the dance, and ALL his friends were saying "how could you let her do that? Don't you have any control over her?!" And he said "It's her life, her body, her decision. I thought she looked great on stage and I was happy to be there to support her."
The decisions are always mine--I just don't want to disappoint him because he's always so good to me.
"control over her"???? who the hell is he friends with?!!?
His friends? Typical teenage boys. I know at least 2 girls that dropped out of the dance because their boyfriends said no. I don't have a boyfriend like that. Sure, I asked him first if it was okay, but I'm pretty sure most people do that.0 -
malavika413 wrote: »amy0louise wrote: »malavika413 wrote: »I danced on stage yesterday and there was a booty-shaking part to the dance, and ALL his friends were saying "how could you let her do that? Don't you have any control over her?!" And he said "It's her life, her body, her decision. I thought she looked great on stage and I was happy to be there to support her."
The decisions are always mine--I just don't want to disappoint him because he's always so good to me.
"control over her"???? who the hell is he friends with?!!?
His friends? Typical teenage boys. I know at least 2 girls that dropped out of the dance because their boyfriends said no. I don't have a boyfriend like that. Sure, I asked him first if it was okay, but I'm pretty sure most people do that.
well I'm just saying that's not at all normal.0 -
malavika413 wrote: »TavistockToad wrote: »malavika413 wrote: »amy0louise wrote: »Oh my god, loosen up and go to a party. Try alcohol. Dump your overprotective bf.
I don't want to dump him. He's the best thing that's ever happened to me!
Even though he doesn't let you make any decisions for yourself? Sounds great....
Once again, he has never forbidden me from doing anything. He merely expressed his opinions regarding partying and alcohol. In fact, he's a lot less protective than some guys I know. I danced on stage yesterday and there was a booty-shaking part to the dance, and ALL his friends were saying "how could you let her do that? Don't you have any control over her?!" And he said "It's her life, her body, her decision. I thought she looked great on stage and I was happy to be there to support her."
The decisions are always mine--I just don't want to disappoint him because he's always so good to me.
How is you having a drink... Not getting *kitten* faced, just having a drink or 2.... How is that going to disappoint him?0 -
amy0louise wrote: »Experimenting with alcohol is good! You get to learn your limits.
I like you on a personal level but on a professional level ummm haha!~
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malavika413 wrote: »amy0louise wrote: »malavika413 wrote: »I danced on stage yesterday and there was a booty-shaking part to the dance, and ALL his friends were saying "how could you let her do that? Don't you have any control over her?!" And he said "It's her life, her body, her decision. I thought she looked great on stage and I was happy to be there to support her."
The decisions are always mine--I just don't want to disappoint him because he's always so good to me.
"control over her"???? who the hell is he friends with?!!?
His friends? Typical teenage boys. I know at least 2 girls that dropped out of the dance because their boyfriends said no. I don't have a boyfriend like that. Sure, I asked him first if it was okay, but I'm pretty sure most people do that.
I have never asked my husbands permission to do anything.... That's not how relationships should work.0 -
malavika413 wrote: »amy0louise wrote: »malavika413 wrote: »I danced on stage yesterday and there was a booty-shaking part to the dance, and ALL his friends were saying "how could you let her do that? Don't you have any control over her?!" And he said "It's her life, her body, her decision. I thought she looked great on stage and I was happy to be there to support her."
The decisions are always mine--I just don't want to disappoint him because he's always so good to me.
"control over her"???? who the hell is he friends with?!!?
His friends? Typical teenage boys. I know at least 2 girls that dropped out of the dance because their boyfriends said no. I don't have a boyfriend like that. Sure, I asked him first if it was okay, but I'm pretty sure most people do that.
Not in my experience. I can't recall a single time I asked a boyfriend if it was ok with him to pursue something I enjoyed. I can't think of a single time in 11 years of marriage in which I've asked my husband if I can do something outside the context of "do you know of any scheduling conflicts and/or can you watch the kids or do I need to arrange for childcare while I'm doing it."
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tbh if you're on here asking for advice you should probably take a hard look at if the relationship's worth it.0
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Lame... so no party after all.0
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amy0louise wrote: »Experimenting with alcohol is good! You get to learn your limits.
I like you on a personal level but on a professional level ummm haha!~
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to me, partying was never really worth it. sure you might have a fun night out and bond with your friends, which i think is really the only positive (not flirting or hooking up with guys), but then there are so many other negatives to overdoing it. you usually wake up feeling bad. you stay up late and ruin your sleep schedule. your skin is dehydrated and puffy. AND you usually pig out on terrible foods. plus, alcohol is just bad for you and sometimes you just get into bad situations.
however, if you can control yourself and just go to have a drink and socialize, i don't see the harm. you just have to find your happy medium and evaluate what your priorities are. alcohol is a vice and should be enjoyed in moderation, not abused.0 -
TavistockToad wrote: »malavika413 wrote: »amy0louise wrote: »malavika413 wrote: »I danced on stage yesterday and there was a booty-shaking part to the dance, and ALL his friends were saying "how could you let her do that? Don't you have any control over her?!" And he said "It's her life, her body, her decision. I thought she looked great on stage and I was happy to be there to support her."
The decisions are always mine--I just don't want to disappoint him because he's always so good to me.
"control over her"???? who the hell is he friends with?!!?
His friends? Typical teenage boys. I know at least 2 girls that dropped out of the dance because their boyfriends said no. I don't have a boyfriend like that. Sure, I asked him first if it was okay, but I'm pretty sure most people do that.
I have never asked my husbands permission to do anything.... That's not how relationships should work.
Hmm, this is interesting. Granted I haven't really been in a relationship before, I was just trying to be polite and considerate to BF by asking his opinion on my actions. Many of my friends also ask their boyfriends for permission--some are very independent types that just do things, but I'm not that independent.0 -
callmejessica wrote: »to me, partying was never really worth it. sure you might have a fun night out and bond with your friends, which i think is really the only positive (not flirting or hooking up with guys), but then there are so many other negatives to overdoing it. you usually wake up feeling bad. you stay up late and ruin your sleep schedule. your skin is dehydrated and puffy. AND you usually pig out on terrible foods. plus, alcohol is just bad for you and sometimes you just get into bad situations.
however, if you can control yourself and just go to have a drink and socialize, i don't see the harm. you just have to find your happy medium and evaluate what your priorities are. alcohol is a vice and should be enjoyed in moderation, not abused.
Yeah, I agree with you on the aftereffects. My roommate parties 4x a week, and she's usually exhausted afterwards and sleeps till noon the next day. I can't do that--I have many early morning classes.0 -
malavika413 wrote: »TavistockToad wrote: »malavika413 wrote: »amy0louise wrote: »malavika413 wrote: »I danced on stage yesterday and there was a booty-shaking part to the dance, and ALL his friends were saying "how could you let her do that? Don't you have any control over her?!" And he said "It's her life, her body, her decision. I thought she looked great on stage and I was happy to be there to support her."
The decisions are always mine--I just don't want to disappoint him because he's always so good to me.
"control over her"???? who the hell is he friends with?!!?
His friends? Typical teenage boys. I know at least 2 girls that dropped out of the dance because their boyfriends said no. I don't have a boyfriend like that. Sure, I asked him first if it was okay, but I'm pretty sure most people do that.
I have never asked my husbands permission to do anything.... That's not how relationships should work.
Hmm, this is interesting. Granted I haven't really been in a relationship before, I was just trying to be polite and considerate to BF by asking his opinion on my actions. Many of my friends also ask their boyfriends for permission--some are very independent types that just do things, but I'm not that independent.
Does he ask your permission to do things?0 -
TavistockToad wrote: »malavika413 wrote: »TavistockToad wrote: »malavika413 wrote: »amy0louise wrote: »malavika413 wrote: »I danced on stage yesterday and there was a booty-shaking part to the dance, and ALL his friends were saying "how could you let her do that? Don't you have any control over her?!" And he said "It's her life, her body, her decision. I thought she looked great on stage and I was happy to be there to support her."
The decisions are always mine--I just don't want to disappoint him because he's always so good to me.
"control over her"???? who the hell is he friends with?!!?
His friends? Typical teenage boys. I know at least 2 girls that dropped out of the dance because their boyfriends said no. I don't have a boyfriend like that. Sure, I asked him first if it was okay, but I'm pretty sure most people do that.
I have never asked my husbands permission to do anything.... That's not how relationships should work.
Hmm, this is interesting. Granted I haven't really been in a relationship before, I was just trying to be polite and considerate to BF by asking his opinion on my actions. Many of my friends also ask their boyfriends for permission--some are very independent types that just do things, but I'm not that independent.
Does he ask your permission to do things?
No, not really. He does if it involves breaking plans or something, but otherwise he has his own interests and likes to pursue them. I don't really have a lot of hobbies or activities, so when something does come up I like to ask permission first. Also, outfits aren't really an issue with men, so he doesn't ask me if something is okay to wear--whereas I do that with him. I don't want him to feel I look indecent in public.0 -
TavistockToad wrote: »malavika413 wrote: »TavistockToad wrote: »malavika413 wrote: »amy0louise wrote: »malavika413 wrote: »I danced on stage yesterday and there was a booty-shaking part to the dance, and ALL his friends were saying "how could you let her do that? Don't you have any control over her?!" And he said "It's her life, her body, her decision. I thought she looked great on stage and I was happy to be there to support her."
The decisions are always mine--I just don't want to disappoint him because he's always so good to me.
"control over her"???? who the hell is he friends with?!!?
His friends? Typical teenage boys. I know at least 2 girls that dropped out of the dance because their boyfriends said no. I don't have a boyfriend like that. Sure, I asked him first if it was okay, but I'm pretty sure most people do that.
I have never asked my husbands permission to do anything.... That's not how relationships should work.
Hmm, this is interesting. Granted I haven't really been in a relationship before, I was just trying to be polite and considerate to BF by asking his opinion on my actions. Many of my friends also ask their boyfriends for permission--some are very independent types that just do things, but I'm not that independent.
Does he ask your permission to do things?
this.0 -
unless you have some religious reason for thinking this (in which case I respect that)... outfits are NOT an issue with women either.malavika413 wrote: »Also, outfits aren't really an issue with men, so he doesn't ask me if something is okay to wear--whereas I do that with him. I don't want him to feel I look indecent in public.
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amy0louise wrote: »
unless you have some religious reason for thinking this (in which case I respect that)... outfits are NOT an issue with women either.malavika413 wrote: »Also, outfits aren't really an issue with men, so he doesn't ask me if something is okay to wear--whereas I do that with him. I don't want him to feel I look indecent in public.
Not a religious issue, but I grew up in a conservative household. My father bought all my clothes--including prom dresses. Now that I'm away I've bought a couple outfits he wouldn't have liked, but I still am nervous to wear them because BF is just as conservative. They're just clothes in the end, not worth ruining a relationship. Maybe I'll have a chance to wear them someday.0 -
amy0louise wrote: »
unless you have some religious reason for thinking this (in which case I respect that)... outfits are NOT an issue with women either.malavika413 wrote: »Also, outfits aren't really an issue with men, so he doesn't ask me if something is okay to wear--whereas I do that with him. I don't want him to feel I look indecent in public.
Yeah, I was wondering if there was some religious influence with the clothes and not drinking alcohol?
My husband would love me to look indecent in public :laugh:0 -
that's seriously *kitten* upmalavika413 wrote: »amy0louise wrote: »
unless you have some religious reason for thinking this (in which case I respect that)... outfits are NOT an issue with women either.malavika413 wrote: »Also, outfits aren't really an issue with men, so he doesn't ask me if something is okay to wear--whereas I do that with him. I don't want him to feel I look indecent in public.
Not a religious issue, but I grew up in a conservative household. My father bought all my clothes--including prom dresses. Now that I'm away I've bought a couple outfits he wouldn't have liked, but I still am nervous to wear them because BF is just as conservative. They're just clothes in the end, not worth ruining a relationship. Maybe I'll have a chance to wear them someday.
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TavistockToad wrote: »amy0louise wrote: »
unless you have some religious reason for thinking this (in which case I respect that)... outfits are NOT an issue with women either.malavika413 wrote: »Also, outfits aren't really an issue with men, so he doesn't ask me if something is okay to wear--whereas I do that with him. I don't want him to feel I look indecent in public.
Yeah, I was wondering if there was some religious influence with the clothes and not drinking alcohol?
My husband would love me to look indecent in public :laugh:
No religious influence. BF and I are technically interfaith, but neither of us practice. Traditional families, though.0 -
amy0louise wrote: »
that's seriously *kitten* upmalavika413 wrote: »amy0louise wrote: »
unless you have some religious reason for thinking this (in which case I respect that)... outfits are NOT an issue with women either.malavika413 wrote: »Also, outfits aren't really an issue with men, so he doesn't ask me if something is okay to wear--whereas I do that with him. I don't want him to feel I look indecent in public.
Not a religious issue, but I grew up in a conservative household. My father bought all my clothes--including prom dresses. Now that I'm away I've bought a couple outfits he wouldn't have liked, but I still am nervous to wear them because BF is just as conservative. They're just clothes in the end, not worth ruining a relationship. Maybe I'll have a chance to wear them someday.
They say we go for someone like our parents....0 -
amy0louise wrote: »
that's seriously *kitten* upmalavika413 wrote: »amy0louise wrote: »
unless you have some religious reason for thinking this (in which case I respect that)... outfits are NOT an issue with women either.malavika413 wrote: »Also, outfits aren't really an issue with men, so he doesn't ask me if something is okay to wear--whereas I do that with him. I don't want him to feel I look indecent in public.
Not a religious issue, but I grew up in a conservative household. My father bought all my clothes--including prom dresses. Now that I'm away I've bought a couple outfits he wouldn't have liked, but I still am nervous to wear them because BF is just as conservative. They're just clothes in the end, not worth ruining a relationship. Maybe I'll have a chance to wear them someday.
The fact that my dad bought my clothes (because that's common in my culture) or that I'm reluctant to wear a couple of revealing dresses? I'm not trying to goad you, I'm just curious--I don't often hear this point of view.0 -
malavika413 wrote: »amy0louise wrote: »
that's seriously *kitten* upmalavika413 wrote: »amy0louise wrote: »
unless you have some religious reason for thinking this (in which case I respect that)... outfits are NOT an issue with women either.malavika413 wrote: »Also, outfits aren't really an issue with men, so he doesn't ask me if something is okay to wear--whereas I do that with him. I don't want him to feel I look indecent in public.
Not a religious issue, but I grew up in a conservative household. My father bought all my clothes--including prom dresses. Now that I'm away I've bought a couple outfits he wouldn't have liked, but I still am nervous to wear them because BF is just as conservative. They're just clothes in the end, not worth ruining a relationship. Maybe I'll have a chance to wear them someday.
The fact that my dad bought my clothes (because that's common in my culture) or that I'm reluctant to wear a couple of revealing dresses? I'm not trying to goad you, I'm just curious--I don't often hear this point of view.
What is your culture?0 -
hahaa mmm!TavistockToad wrote: »malavika413 wrote: »Not a religious issue, but I grew up in a conservative household. My father bought all my clothes--including prom dresses. Now that I'm away I've bought a couple outfits he wouldn't have liked, but I still am nervous to wear them because BF is just as conservative. They're just clothes in the end, not worth ruining a relationship. Maybe I'll have a chance to wear them someday.amy0louise wrote: »that's seriously *kitten* up
They say we go for someone like our parents....malavika413 wrote: »amy0louise wrote: »
that's seriously *kitten* upmalavika413 wrote: »amy0louise wrote: »
unless you have some religious reason for thinking this (in which case I respect that)... outfits are NOT an issue with women either.malavika413 wrote: »Also, outfits aren't really an issue with men, so he doesn't ask me if something is okay to wear--whereas I do that with him. I don't want him to feel I look indecent in public.
Not a religious issue, but I grew up in a conservative household. My father bought all my clothes--including prom dresses. Now that I'm away I've bought a couple outfits he wouldn't have liked, but I still am nervous to wear them because BF is just as conservative. They're just clothes in the end, not worth ruining a relationship. Maybe I'll have a chance to wear them someday.
The fact that my dad bought my clothes (because that's common in my culture) or that I'm reluctant to wear a couple of revealing dresses? I'm not trying to goad you, I'm just curious--I don't often hear this point of view.
oh right, sorry I thought you said it wasn't religious. So it is cultural? Again, if that's the case that's fine...
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TavistockToad wrote: »malavika413 wrote: »amy0louise wrote: »
that's seriously *kitten* upmalavika413 wrote: »amy0louise wrote: »
unless you have some religious reason for thinking this (in which case I respect that)... outfits are NOT an issue with women either.malavika413 wrote: »Also, outfits aren't really an issue with men, so he doesn't ask me if something is okay to wear--whereas I do that with him. I don't want him to feel I look indecent in public.
Not a religious issue, but I grew up in a conservative household. My father bought all my clothes--including prom dresses. Now that I'm away I've bought a couple outfits he wouldn't have liked, but I still am nervous to wear them because BF is just as conservative. They're just clothes in the end, not worth ruining a relationship. Maybe I'll have a chance to wear them someday.
The fact that my dad bought my clothes (because that's common in my culture) or that I'm reluctant to wear a couple of revealing dresses? I'm not trying to goad you, I'm just curious--I don't often hear this point of view.
What is your culture?
I am Indian, born and raised in America. BF is an Irish Catholic. My parents are actually much less conservative than typical Indian parents--at least they let me go to prom and pick out a few dress options. Dad had the final say, though. They're fine with my relationship, btw.0 -
Do what you want, whatever. I guess my main point is maybe consider the fact that men don't have the right to control women.0
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amy0louise wrote: »Do what you want, whatever. I guess my main point is maybe consider the fact that men don't have the right to control women.
I understand that. BF doesn't control me--in fact, sometimes he gets uncomfortable when I ask for permission. But I'm much more comfortable that way, saves me from making too many decisions.
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amy0louise wrote: »Do what you want, whatever. I guess my main point is maybe consider the fact that men don't have the right to control women.
This times a million.... this thread is making me :noway:0
This discussion has been closed.
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