Is Partying Worth It?

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  • stefanyy36
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    I never went to college parties and I don't regret it at all. I didn't even drink until I was 21. There's nothing wrong with not wanting to do those things!
  • malavika413
    malavika413 Posts: 474 Member
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    I'd invite him along, but boys don't typically attend these parties unless they're the hosts or friends of the guys hosting. I go to a school with single-sex dorms, so these parties revolve around "girls allowed, boys stay out". It sucks.

    If that's the case, then you don't have to worry about another guy trying to pick you up. You will only have to worry about attracting girls with what you wear.

    No, there are plenty of boys at the parties. They just have to be specifically invited by the hosts. I don't think or expect I'll be hit on, that would be very pompous of me.
  • Aviva92
    Aviva92 Posts: 2,333 Member
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    stefanyy36 wrote: »
    I never went to college parties and I don't regret it at all. I didn't even drink until I was 21. There's nothing wrong with not wanting to do those things!

    yeah, i didn't really drink much until my early 30's. i sort of feel as though i missed out though.
  • HardyGirl4Ever
    HardyGirl4Ever Posts: 1,017 Member
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    newmeadow wrote: »
    Hi Malavika,

    Using the word party as a verb is usually code for using illicit drugs recreationally and/or misusing prescription drugs for recreational purposes. Drinking alcohol is also included in the verb "party". Why not call the activity exactly what it is? Let's go out and party tonight! or Let's go out and use illicit drugs for recreational purposes and have cocktails and get buzzed too! It's so much lovelier and cleaner and light hearted to say "party".

    If asked "do you party" that's usually the case. But a party is a party. When I was a kid I didn't get loaded on drugs and alcohol to celebrate my birthday. But I had a party.

  • Mikel423
    Mikel423 Posts: 579 Member
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    I feel like as I get older..the recovery time from a night out at bars is sooo much longer now...to the point where I always regret going out drinking the next day
  • malavika413
    malavika413 Posts: 474 Member
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    Aviva92 wrote: »
    stefanyy36 wrote: »
    I never went to college parties and I don't regret it at all. I didn't even drink until I was 21. There's nothing wrong with not wanting to do those things!

    yeah, i didn't really drink much until my early 30's. i sort of feel as though i missed out though.

    I'm just sort of afraid of missing out, I guess. I mean, I never played sports as a kid--I feel I missed out on that. I never learned to dance (which is really fun to me)--I missed out on that. I've missed the boat on so many things, I don't want to regret even more...
  • randomtai
    randomtai Posts: 9,003 Member
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    Aviva92 wrote: »
    stefanyy36 wrote: »
    I never went to college parties and I don't regret it at all. I didn't even drink until I was 21. There's nothing wrong with not wanting to do those things!

    yeah, i didn't really drink much until my early 30's. i sort of feel as though i missed out though.

    I'm just sort of afraid of missing out, I guess. I mean, I never played sports as a kid--I feel I missed out on that. I never learned to dance (which is really fun to me)--I missed out on that. I've missed the boat on so many things, I don't want to regret even more...

    So go out.
  • court_fritch26
    court_fritch26 Posts: 297 Member
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    Looking back at the nights out with just my girls, they are by far the best memories I have from my college experience. I spent my first year worrying about what my boyfriend would think if I did this or that, and eventually it just became too tiring to deal with. If it's something you want to experience then you should, there is no need to worry so much about it. If you don't like it you won't go again, and if you do then you are creating memories with your friends. Be who you are and do what you want, your boyfriend will either understand or he won't (and if he doesn't then he needs to calm down a little). College is for building friendships, making memories, and finding out who you are on your own terms, not based on what others want.

    and p.s. I have partied in an oversized sweater and legging as well as the typical party outfits…wear what makes you feel comfortable and confident
  • malavika413
    malavika413 Posts: 474 Member
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    Looking back at the nights out with just my girls, they are by far the best memories I have from my college experience. I spent my first year worrying about what my boyfriend would think if I did this or that, and eventually it just became too tiring to deal with. If it's something you want to experience then you should, there is no need to worry so much about it. If you don't like it you won't go again, and if you do then you are creating memories with your friends. Be who you are and do what you want, your boyfriend will either understand or he won't (and if he doesn't then he needs to calm down a little). College is for building friendships, making memories, and finding out who you are on your own terms, not based on what others want.

    and p.s. I have partied in an oversized sweater and legging as well as the typical party outfits…wear what makes you feel comfortable and confident

    Probably my favorite response. Thank you! I think I am worrying too much. BF has already given me his blessing, and I am yearning to have some fun here at college. Here I am, done with homework, with absolutely nothing to do. It's so dull.
  • ilfaith
    ilfaith Posts: 16,769 Member
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    I wouldn't say that you have to party at college. But I do think the social aspect of going away to school is an integral part of the college experience. And while I think that should involve an occasional party...it doesn't necessarily have to include alcohol or "hooking up".

    I went to a university known as a "party school" (also known for it's basketball and lacrosse teams...and in some years, football). Some weekends I would go to parties, some weekends I would stay in and play Boggle and Trivial Pursuit with my roommates. There were bars on campus which were "18 to enter, 21 to drink" (which was kind of a joke...once you were inside nobody really cared which stamp was on your hand). Sometimes I would drink. Sometimes I just wanted to dance. Some nights I would have one or two drinks...other times one or two too many. Some nights I would meet a boy...perhaps we would kiss...perhaps a bit more. Maybe I was lucky never to be put into a situation I couldn't handle. Maybe I was just careful enough. By my senior year, I was finally old enough to go out and drink legally, but I spent more time just hanging out with friends in our off-campus homes. Sometimes there would be alcohol (or a little weed)...sometimes we'd just cook a nice dinner and watch a movie. In any case, my social life certainly was never centered entirely around going out to bars and parties. But I don't have regrets about my college experience. Graduated with honors...as did people who partied far more and far less than I did.

    And we all partied in big baggy sweaters...partly because it was the style in the late 80s-early 90s...but mainly because it was really cold up there. Nobody was trudging through the snow in stilettos and miniskirts.
  • malavika413
    malavika413 Posts: 474 Member
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    ilfaith wrote: »
    I wouldn't say that you have to party at college. But I do think the social aspect of going away to school is an integral part of the college experience. And while I think that should involve an occasional party...it doesn't necessarily have to include alcohol or "hooking up".

    I went to a university known as a "party school" (also known for it's basketball and lacrosse teams...and in some years, football). Some weekends I would go to parties, some weekends I would stay in and play Boggle and Trivial Pursuit with my roommates. There were bars on campus which were "18 to enter, 21 to drink" (which was kind of a joke...once you were inside nobody really cared which stamp was on your hand). Sometimes I would drink. Sometimes I just wanted to dance. Some nights I would have one or two drinks...other times one or two too many. Some nights I would meet a boy...perhaps we would kiss...perhaps a bit more. Maybe I was lucky never to be put into a situation I couldn't handle. Maybe I was just careful enough. By my senior year, I was finally old enough to go out and drink legally, but I spent more time just hanging out with friends in our off-campus homes. Sometimes there would be alcohol (or a little weed)...sometimes we'd just cook a nice dinner and watch a movie. In any case, my social life certainly was never centered entirely around going out to bars and parties. But I don't have regrets about my college experience. Graduated with honors...as did people who partied far more and far less than I did.

    And we all partied in big baggy sweaters...partly because it was the style in the late 80s-early 90s...but mainly because it was really cold up there. Nobody was trudging through the snow in stilettos and miniskirts.

    Man, sometimes I wish I could live in the 90s. I don't own heels or any skirt shorter than knee length. But if I showed up in a giant sweater and jeans, my friends would likely laugh. They all rock little sequined dresses and sky-high heels.
  • markchouinard
    markchouinard Posts: 12 Member
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    Looking back at the nights out with just my girls, they are by far the best memories I have from my college experience. I spent my first year worrying about what my boyfriend would think if I did this or that, and eventually it just became too tiring to deal with. If it's something you want to experience then you should, there is no need to worry so much about it. If you don't like it you won't go again, and if you do then you are creating memories with your friends. Be who you are and do what you want, your boyfriend will either understand or he won't (and if he doesn't then he needs to calm down a little). College is for building friendships, making memories, and finding out who you are on your own terms, not based on what others want.

    and p.s. I have partied in an oversized sweater and legging as well as the typical party outfits…wear what makes you feel comfortable and confident

    Probably my favorite response. Thank you! I think I am worrying too much. BF has already given me his blessing, and I am yearning to have some fun here at college. Here I am, done with homework, with absolutely nothing to do. It's so dull.

    Listen to this advice. Life is too short to live with regrets. You're supposed to be experiencing life in it's entirety, not holding back because of "what-ifs". You already know inside who you are, and what you want to do. Now use good judgement and go do it.
  • Aviva92
    Aviva92 Posts: 2,333 Member
    edited November 2014
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    ilfaith wrote: »
    I wouldn't say that you have to party at college. But I do think the social aspect of going away to school is an integral part of the college experience. And while I think that should involve an occasional party...it doesn't necessarily have to include alcohol or "hooking up".

    I went to a university known as a "party school" (also known for it's basketball and lacrosse teams...and in some years, football). Some weekends I would go to parties, some weekends I would stay in and play Boggle and Trivial Pursuit with my roommates. There were bars on campus which were "18 to enter, 21 to drink" (which was kind of a joke...once you were inside nobody really cared which stamp was on your hand). Sometimes I would drink. Sometimes I just wanted to dance. Some nights I would have one or two drinks...other times one or two too many. Some nights I would meet a boy...perhaps we would kiss...perhaps a bit more. Maybe I was lucky never to be put into a situation I couldn't handle. Maybe I was just careful enough. By my senior year, I was finally old enough to go out and drink legally, but I spent more time just hanging out with friends in our off-campus homes. Sometimes there would be alcohol (or a little weed)...sometimes we'd just cook a nice dinner and watch a movie. In any case, my social life certainly was never centered entirely around going out to bars and parties. But I don't have regrets about my college experience. Graduated with honors...as did people who partied far more and far less than I did.

    And we all partied in big baggy sweaters...partly because it was the style in the late 80s-early 90s...but mainly because it was really cold up there. Nobody was trudging through the snow in stilettos and miniskirts.

    Man, sometimes I wish I could live in the 90s. I don't own heels or any skirt shorter than knee length. But if I showed up in a giant sweater and jeans, my friends would likely laugh. They all rock little sequined dresses and sky-high heels.

    yeah, it was a little more conservative in the 90's, but I remember my sister had her club-wear back then which consisted of tight pants and a skin tight top. definitely more conservative than now, but even then, baggy sweaters weren't really worn at clubs.

    but actually, i'm thinking of late 90's more than early 90's. it probably started changing.
  • perseverance14
    perseverance14 Posts: 1,364 Member
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    Do what YOU want to do, not what other people think you should do.
  • SwashBlogger
    SwashBlogger Posts: 395 Member
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    I really never saw any socially redeeming value in college antics. First time away from home and everyone acts like they have the corner on "fun". I know 40 somethings that still wear sweat gear from their alma mater. Many say "glory days". I say "arrested development". Stay in with a few cool friends until an attractive offer comes along.
  • sm1zzle
    sm1zzle Posts: 920 Member
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    Is it worth going to a college party at least once? My friends really want me to go and experience it, and I am curious. What do you think?

    Yes.

    You're only young once.

  • VpinkLotus
    VpinkLotus Posts: 849 Member
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    Go have some fun. Fun meaning without analyzing it. And the thing that sticks out to me is the "I'm not attractive..." Bull. What is THAT?! Oh my GOD you are 20!!! Love yourself lady. When you are my age you will look back and think, I was adorable...how did I not see it? Go have a beer, talk to some new people. Stop thinking so much. You're 20!
  • malavika413
    malavika413 Posts: 474 Member
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    VpinkLotus wrote: »
    Go have some fun. Fun meaning without analyzing it. And the thing that sticks out to me is the "I'm not attractive..." Bull. What is THAT?! Oh my GOD you are 20!!! Love yourself lady. When you are my age you will look back and think, I was adorable...how did I not see it? Go have a beer, talk to some new people. Stop thinking so much. You're 20!

    Unfortunately I'm not what you'd call 'adorable'. I'm just sort of lumpy and awkward. Not exactly the partying type. I don't look good in party clothes, anyway.
  • VpinkLotus
    VpinkLotus Posts: 849 Member
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    :(