Is Partying Worth It?

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  • TavistockToad
    TavistockToad Posts: 35,719 Member
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    Read the recent article in Rolling Stone about women attending parties at frat houses @ UVA. Make sure you're protected. Drink very little and only canned or bottled beer that YOU open. Go with friends, as many as possible.

    It was this article, as well as many others like it, that have my boyfriend so worried. I'm not exactly strong, so I wouldn't be able to fight anyone off. I'm pretty sure my boyfriend's going to make me carry his pocket knife and a container of pepper spray.

    Not a gun?
  • Aviva92
    Aviva92 Posts: 2,333 Member
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    Read the recent article in Rolling Stone about women attending parties at frat houses @ UVA. Make sure you're protected. Drink very little and only canned or bottled beer that YOU open. Go with friends, as many as possible.

    It was this article, as well as many others like it, that have my boyfriend so worried. I'm not exactly strong, so I wouldn't be able to fight anyone off. I'm pretty sure my boyfriend's going to make me carry his pocket knife and a container of pepper spray.

    don't carry a pocket knife. you are more likely to hurt yourself with that than ever get the opportunity to defend yourself.
  • malavika413
    malavika413 Posts: 474 Member
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    MaddyT122 wrote: »
    fobs13 wrote: »
    Do what you feel. You are young to be worrying about upsetting a boyfriend. Let him have his moral code and you yours. Don't let someone control your life at 20.You can go to a party and not drink alcohol and have fun too as an option. Wear what you want and feel good in.

    ^This

    I just don't know if it's right to betray his trust for the sake of a party I may or may not like.

    Betray his trust?!? You are an adult and should NOT need his permission for anything except having sex with other people. Live free and do whatever you feel like doing everyday (because you might run out of days sooner than you think).
    That being said, parties are kind of overrated but yes you should go check it out... It's part of the college experience. And you should not let your bf deny you youthful experiences. If you are curious... You will always wonder.

    Yeah, I see your point. I do like to ask for his permission, though. I know he'd do the same for me. It's just courteous to do so, in my opinion.
  • malavika413
    malavika413 Posts: 474 Member
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    Aviva92 wrote: »
    Read the recent article in Rolling Stone about women attending parties at frat houses @ UVA. Make sure you're protected. Drink very little and only canned or bottled beer that YOU open. Go with friends, as many as possible.

    It was this article, as well as many others like it, that have my boyfriend so worried. I'm not exactly strong, so I wouldn't be able to fight anyone off. I'm pretty sure my boyfriend's going to make me carry his pocket knife and a container of pepper spray.

    don't carry a pocket knife. you are more likely to hurt yourself with that than ever get the opportunity to defend yourself.

    Hmm, that makes sense. Is pepper spray the best thing to carry, then? Or should I not carry anything?
  • Aviva92
    Aviva92 Posts: 2,333 Member
    edited November 2014
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    Aviva92 wrote: »
    Read the recent article in Rolling Stone about women attending parties at frat houses @ UVA. Make sure you're protected. Drink very little and only canned or bottled beer that YOU open. Go with friends, as many as possible.

    It was this article, as well as many others like it, that have my boyfriend so worried. I'm not exactly strong, so I wouldn't be able to fight anyone off. I'm pretty sure my boyfriend's going to make me carry his pocket knife and a container of pepper spray.

    don't carry a pocket knife. you are more likely to hurt yourself with that than ever get the opportunity to defend yourself.

    Hmm, that makes sense. Is pepper spray the best thing to carry, then? Or should I not carry anything?

    i'm not sure. i never carried anything. i didn't go to a whole lot of parties, but for the few i went to, i didn't carry a weapon. i wasn't a big drinker in college and it worked out fine for me. nobody ever tried to hurt me.

    i would say just stay around your friends. safety in numbers.
  • malavika413
    malavika413 Posts: 474 Member
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    Aviva92 wrote: »
    Aviva92 wrote: »
    Read the recent article in Rolling Stone about women attending parties at frat houses @ UVA. Make sure you're protected. Drink very little and only canned or bottled beer that YOU open. Go with friends, as many as possible.

    It was this article, as well as many others like it, that have my boyfriend so worried. I'm not exactly strong, so I wouldn't be able to fight anyone off. I'm pretty sure my boyfriend's going to make me carry his pocket knife and a container of pepper spray.

    don't carry a pocket knife. you are more likely to hurt yourself with that than ever get the opportunity to defend yourself.

    Hmm, that makes sense. Is pepper spray the best thing to carry, then? Or should I not carry anything?

    i'm not sure. i never carried anything. i didn't go to a whole lot of parties, but for the few i went to, i didn't carry a weapon. i wasn't a big drinker in college and it worked out fine for me. nobody ever tried to hurt me.

    i would say just stay around your friends. safety in numbers.

    That makes sense, thanks. My friends tell me the only thing they've faced is a lot of unwanted touching, so I should be okay.
  • fobs13
    fobs13 Posts: 1,080 Member
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    Pepper spray,guns,drugs wow parties I attended at college had none of that.

    Had lots of both male and female friends at college who are friends to this day. We may have had a few drinks,danced to music, those who were single may have made out a bit but no lines were crossed.

    This was over 20 years ago granted but can't imagine young people have changed so much that a bit of fun is not the aim of most parties. I went to college in Ireland though.
  • HardyGirl4Ever
    HardyGirl4Ever Posts: 1,017 Member
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    He does trust me, but I feel I wouldn't be sending the right message in party clothes like a dress or tights. I feel it's more appropriate for me to wear oversized, baggy clothes--since I'm taken.

    My husband helped me pick out something "sexy" to wear to club for a girls night. I'm definitely taken.
  • malavika413
    malavika413 Posts: 474 Member
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    fobs13 wrote: »
    Pepper spray,guns,drugs wow parties I attended at college had none of that.

    Had lots of both male and female friends at college who are friends to this day. We may have had a few drinks,danced to music, those who were single may have made out a bit but no lines were crossed.

    This was over 20 years ago granted but can't imagine young people have changed so much that a bit of fun is not the aim of most parties. I went to college in Ireland though.

    Yeah, parties here are not like that, unfortunately. Lots of boundaries crossed and lots of sleeping around. Even my friends that don't drink have had to deal with a lot of unwanted advances and scary situations. It's a bit daunting, but at the same time I want to go and see just what it's like. I may end up running out after five minutes, haha.

  • malavika413
    malavika413 Posts: 474 Member
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    He does trust me, but I feel I wouldn't be sending the right message in party clothes like a dress or tights. I feel it's more appropriate for me to wear oversized, baggy clothes--since I'm taken.

    My husband helped me pick out something "sexy" to wear to club for a girls night. I'm definitely taken.

    Oh wow. Yeah, I can't imagine BF ever doing anything like that. He isn't a fan of sexy clothes in general, so I don't own any.
  • TavistockToad
    TavistockToad Posts: 35,719 Member
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    He does trust me, but I feel I wouldn't be sending the right message in party clothes like a dress or tights. I feel it's more appropriate for me to wear oversized, baggy clothes--since I'm taken.

    My husband helped me pick out something "sexy" to wear to club for a girls night. I'm definitely taken.

    Oh wow. Yeah, I can't imagine BF ever doing anything like that. He isn't a fan of sexy clothes in general, so I don't own any.

    You'll be telling us he doesn't like porn next...
  • malavika413
    malavika413 Posts: 474 Member
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    He does trust me, but I feel I wouldn't be sending the right message in party clothes like a dress or tights. I feel it's more appropriate for me to wear oversized, baggy clothes--since I'm taken.

    My husband helped me pick out something "sexy" to wear to club for a girls night. I'm definitely taken.

    Oh wow. Yeah, I can't imagine BF ever doing anything like that. He isn't a fan of sexy clothes in general, so I don't own any.

    You'll be telling us he doesn't like porn next...

    Nope, he doesn't. He considers it infidelity. But I think that's besides the point.
  • TavistockToad
    TavistockToad Posts: 35,719 Member
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    He does trust me, but I feel I wouldn't be sending the right message in party clothes like a dress or tights. I feel it's more appropriate for me to wear oversized, baggy clothes--since I'm taken.

    My husband helped me pick out something "sexy" to wear to club for a girls night. I'm definitely taken.

    Oh wow. Yeah, I can't imagine BF ever doing anything like that. He isn't a fan of sexy clothes in general, so I don't own any.

    You'll be telling us he doesn't like porn next...

    Nope, he doesn't. He considers it infidelity. But I think that's besides the point.

    :laugh:
  • katielshelby
    katielshelby Posts: 137 Member
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    arditarose wrote: »
    Dude, wear what you want to a party. Experience life, have a drink, be a person. You could go in a turtle neck and sweatpants if you want. Partying isn't just about showing cleavage and flirting, it's about celebration, making new friends, and being young.

    You could also have your own party, with your boyfriend and friends. Have some wine, eat some food, dance and laugh.

    Lighten up! You don't have to drink if you don't want to.

    Quoted for truth!

    You are really over-thinking this! Just go and have fun, THE END :)

  • kendall916
    kendall916 Posts: 4,222 Member
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    Never went to a college party. Heard the excitement playing beer pong but it fizzled out over time. :neutral_face:
  • malavika413
    malavika413 Posts: 474 Member
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    He does trust me, but I feel I wouldn't be sending the right message in party clothes like a dress or tights. I feel it's more appropriate for me to wear oversized, baggy clothes--since I'm taken.

    My husband helped me pick out something "sexy" to wear to club for a girls night. I'm definitely taken.

    Oh wow. Yeah, I can't imagine BF ever doing anything like that. He isn't a fan of sexy clothes in general, so I don't own any.

    You'll be telling us he doesn't like porn next...

    Nope, he doesn't. He considers it infidelity. But I think that's besides the point.

    :laugh:

    I realize it sounds silly to some, but I agree with him and respect his choices.
  • cwolfman13
    cwolfman13 Posts: 41,868 Member
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    After having read through this thread I have determined that both you and your boyfriend need to get out more...
  • malavika413
    malavika413 Posts: 474 Member
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    cwolfman13 wrote: »
    After having read through this thread I have determined that both you and your boyfriend need to get out more...

    I'm trying to get out more to the extent my comfort zone allows. Staying in every weekend doing homework and watching movies has gotten dull. BF prefers activities that he can do alone or with just me, he's not a fan of large groups. Which is perfectly fine--I don't want to drag him to a party.
  • pander101
    pander101 Posts: 677 Member
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    I thought that I would never be interested once in college, but you should try it at least once. If you never had a sip of alcohol, I hadn't when I entered college, you probably won't like the taste. Try it for the experience, have fun, you're only in college once. If you really don't like it, then you would know for sure. You don't have to get smashed at a party to have fun.
  • HardyGirl4Ever
    HardyGirl4Ever Posts: 1,017 Member
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    I'd invite him along, but boys don't typically attend these parties unless they're the hosts or friends of the guys hosting. I go to a school with single-sex dorms, so these parties revolve around "girls allowed, boys stay out". It sucks.

    If that's the case, then you don't have to worry about another guy trying to pick you up. You will only have to worry about attracting girls with what you wear.