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I grant then ruin someone's wish...

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Replies

  • Cindy4FunFit
    Cindy4FunFit Posts: 2,732 Member
    Granted: but now mom won't shut up about Melissa Rivers. Any better off?

    Wish: I had a square to spare
  • AZTallguy
    AZTallguy Posts: 154 Member
    Granted. You now have an endless supply of TP stuck to your hand that you can never put down.

    I wish I could scuba dive without being afraid of sharks.
  • handyrunner
    handyrunner Posts: 32,662 Member
    granted but that doesnt stop them from eating you anyway!!

    I wish i was tough enough to punch a lion in the FACE!!
  • slimgirljo15
    slimgirljo15 Posts: 269,456 Member
    Granted..you punch a lion in the face but he eats you afterwards
    I wish I was president
  • MaxPower0102
    MaxPower0102 Posts: 2,654 Member
    Granted.... you are JFK and today is 11/22/63

    I wish I was at my Goal Weight
  • kjm3579
    kjm3579 Posts: 3,974 Member
    Granted, you have reached your goal weight, however you have a severe case of anorexia and can't stop loosing weight.

    I wish I didn't have to work this week.
  • Spnneil06
    Spnneil06 Posts: 18,745 Member
    You don't, you choked on breakfast, now you are dead. RIP

    I wish it was warmer outside.
  • cblue315
    cblue315 Posts: 3,836 Member
    Granted, we now have eternal 130F every day all the time. Everyone now is a nudist to avoid the heat. Happy! I think not. Unless they all look like Jay.

    I wish I could get these taxes finished today.
  • Cindy4FunFit
    Cindy4FunFit Posts: 2,732 Member
    Granted: but what is taxing you physically & mentally is being responsible for every child in your neighborhood. A bunch of rowdy rug rats, they are! Tearing your place apart. Here, take this aspirin.

    Wish: the silencing of the lambs
  • jaymvita
    jaymvita Posts: 5,787 Member
    edited February 2015
    Cindy4FunFit wrote: »
    Granted: but what is taxing you physically & mentally is being responsible for every child in your neighborhood. A bunch of rowdy rug rats, they are! Tearing your place apart. Here, take this aspirin.

    Wish: the silencing of the lambs

    Granted, you've silenced the bleating but now all the lambs are bleeding ... Constantly ... And from every orifice. And they are looking to you for help since you took away their ability to cry out. Your floors are a mess. You're psyche is also now slightly damaged by the knowledge of your destructive wishing.

    When will you learn.

    I wish she'd learn already.
  • Cindy4FunFit
    Cindy4FunFit Posts: 2,732 Member
    edited February 2015
    What a bloody mess, Jay. You did this to me.

    Granted: I learn how to be an expert at breaking & entering. I just cleaned your house out. Nice stuff. Mine now.

    Wish: we could burn holes in the carpet (once we crash the party).
  • kjm3579
    kjm3579 Posts: 3,974 Member
    Granted, you are hot, hot, hot and you burn holes not only through the carpet but through the floor as well. Everything you touch turns to ash.

    I wish I was born rich.
  • cblue315
    cblue315 Posts: 3,836 Member
    Granted, you are born rich - too bad it is play money.

    I wish I had a candy bar.
  • tibo1783
    tibo1783 Posts: 2,474 Member
    edited February 2015
    Granted you have the chocolate covered cockroach enjoy

    I wish I was Optimus Prime
  • jaymvita
    jaymvita Posts: 5,787 Member
    tibo1783 wrote: »
    Granted you have the chocolate covered cockroach enjoy

    I wish I was Optimus Prime

    Granted but this time Hot Rod kept the Matrix of Leadership instead of giving it back to you so you remain a cold slab of scrap metal which the Junkions gladly pick over to make into jewelry. In his despotic fever, he keeps your head and turns it into a war helmet when he begins his takeover of Planet Earth.

    I wish I didn't just reveal what a huge nerd I am.
  • Lissa_Kaye
    Lissa_Kaye Posts: 214 Member
    edited February 2015
    Granted, but you just lost half your mental capacity becoming just like everyone else.
    I wish money grew on trees.
  • 47Jacqueline
    47Jacqueline Posts: 6,993 Member
    Granted, but it's all pennies.

    I wish my hair would stay dry when I swim
  • cblue315
    cblue315 Posts: 3,836 Member
    Granted, you are now hairless - works doesn't it?

    I wish someone would shovel my driveway so I would have more forum time before work.
  • Cindy4FunFit
    Cindy4FunFit Posts: 2,732 Member
    Granted: the novice snow shoveler pitched out the snow but also your amazing pavers. You are left with a pot filled, uneven dirt driveway. All your heels are ruined. Time to shoe shop!

    Wish: this spotlight dance would last forever
  • jaymvita
    jaymvita Posts: 5,787 Member
    edited February 2015
    Cindy4FunFit wrote: »
    Granted: the novice snow shoveler pitched out the snow but also your amazing pavers. You are left with a pot filled, uneven dirt driveway. All your heels are ruined. Time to shoe shop!

    Wish: this spotlight dance would last forever

    Granted, you and your partner are now wearing cursed shoes that command that you dance forever. Try as you might, you can't stop dancing. Hour after hour goes by as your leg muscles cramp and seize, your ankles snap and crack, your feet blister and bleed out of your shoes, your back aches and you both vomit on one another after endless spinning and twirling. Eventually you both die locked in a death spiral dervish turn which, in the right light, is kind of beautiful. Generations will be able to watch your bones and tattered clothing continue this poetic dance of death for eons.

    I wish this morning didn't start off on such a macabre note.
  • Cindy4FunFit
    Cindy4FunFit Posts: 2,732 Member
    edited February 2015
    My immortal Cinderella never-ending moment. Thanks, Jay.

    Granted: but your macabre note was written later in the afternoon, by you to The President. The CIA/Secret Service don't knock, they are busting in & busting you up. Your games are over. Enjoy being someone's pen pal from deep lock down prison.

    Wish: things were not getting too spicy for the pepper
  • handyrunner
    handyrunner Posts: 32,662 Member
    Granted but it's because your innards have turned to cast iron...Good luck with the weight loss!!

    I wish I had something spicy
  • Cindy4FunFit
    Cindy4FunFit Posts: 2,732 Member
    Granted: you do. It's a second girlfriend - she's a spicy Latin girl currently in a fist fight over you with your first girlfriend (granted in an earlier wish) the one with the double bee hive & go go boots. You like women fighting over you, don't you? Such an instigator.

    Wish: to tell the truth
  • FabulousFantasticFifty
    FabulousFantasticFifty Posts: 195,832 Member
    Granted! Now you can't stop speaking your mind and let everyone know what you really think about them which gets you in trouble with some, gets you a lot of nice invitations out, but sadly loses you some friends and makes you a lot of enemies!

    I wish I had friends who lived closer!
  • kjm3579
    kjm3579 Posts: 3,974 Member
    Granted, your friends now live with you, everyone is sharing your bed, bathroom, and food.

    I wish I was hanging out with a young lady right now.
  • FabulousFantasticFifty
    FabulousFantasticFifty Posts: 195,832 Member
    Granted! But she's too young to legally have any real fun with! :open_mouth:

    I wish I had some homemade clam chowdah
  • handyrunner
    handyrunner Posts: 32,662 Member
    Granted..but t buying clams off the back of a van....hmmm not a smart move..enjoy food poisoning

    I wish Fab would stop throwing up
  • tibo1783
    tibo1783 Posts: 2,474 Member
    granted the clams were replaced by poisoned clams, you have diarrhea for 2 weeks after

    I wish i had a supermodel girldfriend
  • FabulousFantasticFifty
    FabulousFantasticFifty Posts: 195,832 Member
    Granted: You are now dating a girl who's ten feet tall and weighs 79 lbs. and She never wants to eat Dinner with you!

    I wish I had a prettier face!
  • tibo1783
    tibo1783 Posts: 2,474 Member
    Granted you now have Taylor Lautner's face, kind of weird looking on a womens body

    I wish i had a pet unicorn

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