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I grant then ruin someone's wish...

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Replies

  • Shananigans457
    Shananigans457 Posts: 486 Member
    Granted: We are all mutes!

    Wish: I wish that there were no more school delays because of this yucky weather!
  • Cindy4FunFit
    Cindy4FunFit Posts: 2,732 Member
    Granted: the sun comes out & so does your mom's wacky best friend to give you a schooling without delay; she has so many things she wants to get up in your face about. She is wagging her finger at you & will not stop. A freight train of bad advice. Listen & learn.

    Wish: to swing dance under a full moon
  • handyrunner
    handyrunner Posts: 32,662 Member
    granted: but that moon is that creepy dude baring his butt in the window..keep step with that!

    Wish i would stop mooning people
  • Cindy4FunFit
    Cindy4FunFit Posts: 2,732 Member
    Granted: your mooning stops, but only because you've advanced to full on flashing. At the library, no less. For shame.

    Wish: throw him some boxers
  • jaymvita
    jaymvita Posts: 5,787 Member
    edited March 2015
    Granted, you throw Muhammad Ali, George Foreman and Roberto Duran at handy. They're so peeved at having been thrown that they beat him to within an inch of his life. He begs for mercy but the repeated punching drowns out his cries for help. He'll be in a coma for months.

    I wish I had a donut right now.
  • kjm3579
    kjm3579 Posts: 3,974 Member
    Granted, you have a donut followed by another and another - you can't stop eating them and you become a huge person who can no longer even get out of the house.

    I wish I could trade in my wife for a younger woman.
  • jaymvita
    jaymvita Posts: 5,787 Member
    kjm3579 wrote: »
    Granted, you have a donut followed by another and another - you can't stop eating them and you become a huge person who can no longer even get out of the house.

    I wish I could trade in my wife for a younger woman.

    Granted. Your wife has been traded in for an infant girl that will require your care 24/7 for at least the next 18 years. And in a quizzical time/space paradox, she actually turns out to be your wife from another dimensional rift. You go insane from having to wrestle with that ethical quandary.

    I wish it was already lunch time.
  • Cindy4FunFit
    Cindy4FunFit Posts: 2,732 Member
    Granted: it's time & I'm buying cause that last one was pure gold. But, lunch is poisoned. Sorry.

    Wish: the antidote was available...
  • cblue315
    cblue315 Posts: 3,836 Member
    Granted, antidote is here to the rescue. But the antidote requires you to do 10 V-ups, 10 one minute planks and 100 push ups for every person on the planet. Get working, you will have a great core by the time you are done.

    I wish for a Cinnabon for lunch, or cake, your choice.
  • handyrunner
    handyrunner Posts: 32,662 Member
    granted you can have both..but both are stale and pretty hard now.

    I wish i could skip my next meeting
  • Cindy4FunFit
    Cindy4FunFit Posts: 2,732 Member
    Granted: you skip it, but this next meeting was only about announcing your promotion to CFO. A fat salary, corner office & personal jet. Because you were a no show, they gave it to that weasel in accounting you can't tolerate. Didn't your momma teach you to be present?

    Wish: for the gift of the present
  • MaxPower0102
    MaxPower0102 Posts: 2,654 Member
    Granted: And time stands still, at this very moment, for all eternity. Every one thanks you, especially me because I was looking at pictures of Jessica Alba! ;)


    I wish Jessica Alba was here now
  • RunTimer
    RunTimer Posts: 9,137 Member
    MaxPower0102 wrote: »
    I wish Jessica Alba was here now

    Granted. She's behind you holding a knife (and not looking too happy)

    I wish for snow in June

  • bggghmnr
    bggghmnr Posts: 284 Member
    Granted, but misunderstood and thought you meant cocaine. Now you're under arrest for possession.

    I wish I had a dog.
  • ldrosophila
    ldrosophila Posts: 7,512 Member
    Granted but he has uncontrolable dog farts

    I wish food was calorie free
  • kjm3579
    kjm3579 Posts: 3,974 Member
    Granted, for is now calorie free but water contains 100 calories per tablespoon.

    I wish I was vacationing on a tropical island.
  • bggghmnr
    bggghmnr Posts: 284 Member
    Granted, but boom! volcano.

    I wish this work day was over.
  • kjm3579
    kjm3579 Posts: 3,974 Member
    Granted, you are now unemployed so your work day is quite over for some time to come.

    I wish I had a million dollars.
  • jaymvita
    jaymvita Posts: 5,787 Member
    Granted. One million dollars instantly materializes in your pocket. In pennies. You're buried and suffocating. But you're rich! For all of 11 seconds until you're crushed to death.

    I wish I didn't have the fever for the flavor of a Pringles.
  • Jonesingmucho
    Jonesingmucho Posts: 4,902 Member
    Granted. Your fever is cured when you stumble across the other Pringle's marketing campaign "Once you pop, you can't stop." Now, you put your finger in your mouth and repeatedly pop it out against your cheek to make an annoying POP noise.

    I wish I could convince anyone to do whatever I wanted them to do.
  • ldrosophila
    ldrosophila Posts: 7,512 Member
    Granted but now karma comes back on you triple fold so be careful!

    I wish I could get my phone's hotspot to work at my house so I dont have to get an internet provider.
  • bggghmnr
    bggghmnr Posts: 284 Member
    Granted, but the government watched everything you did on your phone and sent it to your mom.

    I wish someone would clean my house before I got home tonight.
  • Spnneil06
    Spnneil06 Posts: 18,745 Member
    Granted, but only because they had repossessed it!

    I wish my hair never tangled!
  • MaxPower0102
    MaxPower0102 Posts: 2,654 Member
    Granted...... you are bald


    I wish my fingers would stop getting caught in @Spnneil06 's tangled hair
  • kjm3579
    kjm3579 Posts: 3,974 Member
    Granted, your hair is never tangled because you now have lost all of the hair on your body.

    I wish it would stop snowing/raining around here.
  • Shananigans457
    Shananigans457 Posts: 486 Member
    Granted: You now live in a climate equivalent to the Sahara Desert.

    I wish that dinner would cook itself.
  • kjm3579
    kjm3579 Posts: 3,974 Member
    Granted, your dinner is now a raw vegan diet, no cooking ever again.

    I still wish for a tropical vacation.
  • ldrosophila
    ldrosophila Posts: 7,512 Member
    Granted but in the process it evolved self awareness and now is a sentient being who doesn't want to be eaten

    I wish I had one of those ice machines like the kind Sonic uses for their drinks
  • Cindy4FunFit
    Cindy4FunFit Posts: 2,732 Member
    Granted: you get the industrial ice machine. Now, you have a line of partying college students, motel 8 occupants, weird neighbors and wayward thirsty souls in a giant line from your kitchen down the block....they heard you've got the ice, man. We like cold beverages, uh-huh, and we're feeling kind of thirsty.

    Wish: stick it in the fridge, stick it in the fridge, stick it in the fridge
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