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I grant then ruin someone's wish...

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Replies

  • jaymvita
    jaymvita Posts: 5,787 Member
    Edgec0mb wrote: »
    Granted: You defeat the toaster by jumping in it, in the space where bread goes. While you're defeating it, the toaster toasts you and you turn into a toasted toast for the rest of your life... which ends as soon as someone needs a toast for their meal. Congratulations!

    I wish my chair wasn't broken.

    Granted, your chair is perfect. Your depth perception however is completely screwed. You aim for the chair and miss by several feet each and every time. Your coworkers take advantage of this and in a twist of a prank, place the chair right next to you. Without fail, you buttplant to the browsing hoots and hollers of the entire office. Good show. Good times.

    I wish snowflakes would turn into dollar bills upon landing.
  • Cindy4FunFit
    Cindy4FunFit Posts: 2,732 Member
    edited March 2015
    Granted: snowflakes turn to bills, but only when you exotic dance for the ladies of the crush thread. Only problem is, the ladies keep catching them to stuff them in your dance micro shorts before they hit the ground, so they are snowflakes until they hit ground, per your wish request, so you have a pant full of snow. No cash. So much work for no pay.

    Wish: a fair price
  • tibo1783
    tibo1783 Posts: 2,474 Member
    granted you get a fair price on buying 1 jelly bean, congrats

    I wish the the Dallas cowboys would win the next 10 superbowls in a row!
  • cblue315
    cblue315 Posts: 3,836 Member
    Granted, as now they are the only NFL team allowed to play. But then they have no opponent and the games are a little . . . yawn.

    I wish for a good hair day.
  • julziepal
    julziepal Posts: 16
    Grantd, but it all falls out tomorrow night at the stroke of midnight........I wish, I wish I was a fish.
  • zcb94
    zcb94 Posts: 3,678 Member
    julziepal wrote: »
    I wish, I wish I was a fish.
    Granted, but I'm trying to save water, can't spare you any. Sorry and RIP!
    I wish Man never needed a dr.

  • AlainaKayy
    AlainaKayy Posts: 206 Member
    Granted: But the first time you get sick, you infect the rest of the population.

    I wish I had a million dollars.
  • cblue315
    cblue315 Posts: 3,836 Member
    Granted, but then everyone else got a million dollars also. Your million was devalued, now you can buy one thing a the Million Dollar Store. Happy shopping.

    I wish for a kayak.
  • 47Jacqueline
    47Jacqueline Posts: 6,993 Member
    Granted, you are strapped in and headed down a white-water level 10 river

    I wish I could find frozen fruit bars that are unsweetened.
  • handyrunner
    handyrunner Posts: 32,662 Member
    granted...you spend hours in the kitchen juicing and pulping and straining and waiting..to make 1 single unsweetend fruit bar...enjoy


    granted i wish someone would make me an unsweetend fruit bar
  • Shananigans457
    Shananigans457 Posts: 486 Member
    Granted: You are now Emril's lover. He agrees to cook for you all night long. BAM

    I wish that my shoulder didn't hurt from all of those reverse elbow thrusts at kickboxing
  • handyrunner
    handyrunner Posts: 32,662 Member
    granted pain i gone but so is your arm ,,elbow thrust this!!!!

    wish i could invent a bionic arm to help the lady out
  • kjm3579
    kjm3579 Posts: 3,974 Member
    Granted, your shoulder no longer hurts because of all of the nerve damage to your body - you only have feeling from your waist down.

    I wish this snow would melt away before 4pm today.
  • cblue315
    cblue315 Posts: 3,836 Member
    Granted, but the temperature surge causes flooding and power outages. No threads for you until someone wishes it.

    I wish a genie came out of that bottle.
  • tibo1783
    tibo1783 Posts: 2,474 Member
    Granted the gene came out... and flew away never be seen or heard from again

    I wish it was Spring nice and warm !
  • fattofit_fritch26
    fattofit_fritch26 Posts: 131 Member
    edited March 2015
    Granted, but you are followed by a storm cloud cartoon style

    I wish I could pass my state licensing exams without having to take the actual test
  • jaymvita
    jaymvita Posts: 5,787 Member
    fattofit_fritch26 wrote: »
    Granted, but you are followed by a storm cloud cartoon style

    I wish I could pass my state licensing exams without having to take the actual test

    Granted, your "license" is from Tijuana ... Which is the only place you're allowed to practice. On the other hand, you've learned to hold your tequila like a champ. You've also learned to vomit like a ninja ... Silent and quick.

    I wish I was a ninja.
  • FabulousFantasticFifty
    FabulousFantasticFifty Posts: 195,832 Member
    Granted but now you are a Turtle and your reflexes are too slow to perform your Ninja skills!

    I wish it was January 1st and I could restart the year!
  • jaymvita
    jaymvita Posts: 5,787 Member
    FabulousFantasticFifty wrote: »
    Granted but now you are a Turtle and your reflexes are too slow to perform your Ninja skills!

    I wish it was January 1st and I could restart the year!

    Granted, it's January 1st, year 1 BC. Your cave tribe is deciding on boar or saber tooth tonight for dinner. You're sick of boar and demand saber tooth. The club coming down on your head from a rival female is swift and painful. You are now bait for the saber tooth which is tomorrow's dinner. Tonight the boar will fill their bellies.

    I wish my belly was full of sow thing fatty and sugary.
  • kjm3579
    kjm3579 Posts: 3,974 Member
    Granted, you belly is super full but you also weight 650 lbs. now.
    I wish I never had to work again.
  • jaymvita
    jaymvita Posts: 5,787 Member
    kjm3579 wrote: »
    Granted, you belly is super full but you also weight 650 lbs. now.
    I wish I never had to work again.

    Granted. You've been shipwrecked on an uncharted island alone. Your working days are over. You have no boss to report to not any minions to do your bidding. The loneliness of the island eats at you everyday however until you ache for some semblance of normality. So you set up two shelters. One is your home, the other is your office ... To which you report every morning and sit down at a makeshift desk, pushing banana leaves around and scribbling with a sharpened branch. You argue with your "boss" who is actually a lizard. And he fires you.

    I wish I knew the name of the Doctor.
  • kjm3579
    kjm3579 Posts: 3,974 Member
    You do, you now know the name of the doctor, but that is the only thing in your mind. You repeat the name over and over again thinking of nothing else.

    I wish for a year long cruise around the world.
  • jaymvita
    jaymvita Posts: 5,787 Member
    Granted. You have been taken hostage by pirates who have mistaken you for a foreign dignitary worth billions. They hold you for ransom as they travel the globe searching for someone to lay them for your release. Meanwhile, you serve as cabin "relief" for the nefarious seamen. And no one offers to pay the ransom.

    I wish I were the God-King of a race of giants.
  • cblue315
    cblue315 Posts: 3,836 Member
    Granted, Oh great and powerful king of the race of giant. . . rabbits. You get to lord over the lettuce rations.

    I wish I could play the harp.
  • kjm3579
    kjm3579 Posts: 3,974 Member
    Granted, you can play the harp but you are made to carry it with you from concert to concert -- I don't see many concerts in your future.

    I wish I had a long weekend off.
  • FabulousFantasticFifty
    FabulousFantasticFifty Posts: 195,832 Member
    Granted! Now you are fired!!! Happy Now?

    I wish I wasn't so sappy!
  • kjm3579
    kjm3579 Posts: 3,974 Member
    Granted, you are sapless -- all of the maple trees have stop giving up sap and we are all blaming you for our lack of pancake syrup.

    I wish I could live in a warm climate.
  • handyrunner
    handyrunner Posts: 32,662 Member
    edited March 2015
    Granted... welcome to hell

    I wish I could find buried treasure
  • jaymvita
    jaymvita Posts: 5,787 Member
    handyrunner wrote: »
    Granted... welcome to hell

    I wish I could find buried treasure

    Granted, but you're at a pet cemetery and Treasure is a cocker spaniel who died 12 years ago. But you found her. The police however have also found you. As has Treasure's owner who is pressing charges for your desecration of her beloved Treasure's final resting place.

    What exactly were you planning to do with Treasure?

    You know what? Forget it. I don't want to know.

    I wish you hadn't asked for such a morbid wish.
  • kjm3579
    kjm3579 Posts: 3,974 Member
    Granted, the police figure out he wasn't looking for the buried dog Treasure, but an old instant lottery ticket Buried Treasure, however the lottery ticket was not a winner and the police are charging you for the investigation.

    I wish I could get fit just by reading about it.
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