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I grant then ruin someone's wish...

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Replies

  • Shananigans457
    Shananigans457 Posts: 486 Member
    Granted: You are now the most popular guy in the world. Everyone wants to be just like you. So much so that we have all evolved into YvetteDem and there is no originality in the world anymore. You get tired of living in a world of clones.

    I wish that canned soup didn't have so much sodium.
  • cblue315
    cblue315 Posts: 3,836 Member
    Granted, no sodium, but then no flavor either.

    I wish I had Wonder Woman's Lasso of Truth.
  • jaymvita
    jaymvita Posts: 5,787 Member
    cblue315 wrote: »
    Granted, no sodium, but then no flavor either.

    I wish I had Wonder Woman's Lasso of Truth.

    Granted, you wield the Lasso of Truth as the new protector of your city, donning a spectacular costume and patrolling the night with the vigilance of a hawk. Your first crime scene is an armed robbery, into which you throw yourself with gusto! You burst upon the scene and lasso the lead perp with ease. You strike an intimating pose as you allow the Lasso to work its magic and ask the perp "What are your nefarious plans, evil-doer!?" The perp replies, "To shoot you and take this money. Kill her, boys!"

    Your Lasso of Truth does nothing to slow the hail of bullets. But you got an honest answer.

    I wish I could dance a dream into the daylight.
  • MaxPower0102
    MaxPower0102 Posts: 2,654 Member
    Granted. It is the ballet from Swan Lake and your tutu is two sizes too small.

    I wish I knew what the hell Jay was talking about?
  • jaymvita
    jaymvita Posts: 5,787 Member
    Granted, the madness of trying to untangle the psychotic break that is my mind drives you insane. You've got a nice new jacket that fits snugly around you as you hug yourself and the room has beds on the walls so the repeated head banging that you need for relief from the demons doesn't scar your pretty face too much.

    I wish the darkness weren't so cold, nor the whispers so loud...
  • cblue315
    cblue315 Posts: 3,836 Member
    Granted, you are now warm but still in the dark. The whispers slowly turn to a drumming howl which slowly unravels your few remaining shreds of sanity. You slowly oh so very slowly find yourself snugly engulfed in a fog of blissful calm and nothing. . . . . .

    I wish Jay would wake up!
  • Cindy4FunFit
    Cindy4FunFit Posts: 2,732 Member
    Granted: Jay wakes up, in between you & MaxPower. What exactly did you kids get up to last night? I know you are all just friends, but boundaries, people. They exist. Now, which one of you makes the pancakes in this scenario?

    Wish: they weren't out of maple syrup.
  • handyrunner
    handyrunner Posts: 32,662 Member
    Granted
    Can't ruin that one..it's syrup


    I wish I had something clever to say
  • kjm3579
    kjm3579 Posts: 3,974 Member
    Granted, you have a lot of clever things to say but you speak an unknown language so no one can appreciate what you say.

    I wish I spent last night with a young lady instead of being alone in my hotel room.
  • Spnneil06
    Spnneil06 Posts: 18,745 Member
    You did unfortunately the little young lady was a dog named spots!

    I wish I only needed 1 hours of sleep to feel productive.
  • kjm3579
    kjm3579 Posts: 3,974 Member
    Granted, you feel productive with one hour sleep, however your body does not actually function properly on that little sleep.

    I wish for this snow to stop and warm temperatures to come back.
  • Spnneil06
    Spnneil06 Posts: 18,745 Member
    granted, now it's always 110 year round.

    I wish someone would cook me a delicious breakfast!
  • kjm3579
    kjm3579 Posts: 3,974 Member
    Granted, I have cooked you a delicious breakfast but it's here in Philly and your not -- oh well, I guess I'll eat it for you.

    I still wish for warm (not hot) weather.
  • cblue315
    cblue315 Posts: 3,836 Member
    Warm weather has arrived. . . in Hawaii. Too bad you're not there.

    I wish for a spa day.
  • kjm3579
    kjm3579 Posts: 3,974 Member
    Granted, you get your spa day -- your massage is being done by Helga who weighs 450 lbs. and has the strength and body odor of a gorilla. Your makeup is being done by Mim Bobeck from the Drew Carey show, and they offer a special lunch break of sliced cucumbers with a glass of refreshing iced water. Hope you have enjoyed your day.

    I wish I could get fit just by thinking about it.
  • EddieHaskell97
    EddieHaskell97 Posts: 2,227 Member
    edited March 2015
    Congratulations! You now turn into a Honda Fit whenever you think about it. Now, even Turbo Teen thinks you're lame...

    Honda-Fit-3.jpg

    I wish I could turn my enemies into garden topiaries.
  • kjm3579
    kjm3579 Posts: 3,974 Member
    Granted, you have the ability to make them into topiaries but each time you use that power you shrink by 6" -- soon you'll be looking up at the world.

    I wish I was fantastically wealthy.
  • bggghmnr
    bggghmnr Posts: 284 Member
    Granted, but you're under surveillance and can't spend any of it.

    I wish someone styled my hair for me every day.
  • kjm3579
    kjm3579 Posts: 3,974 Member
    Granted, your hair and makeup are done for you by Mimi from the Drew Carey show every day.

    I wish I had abs of steel.
  • marywilkinson1984
    marywilkinson1984 Posts: 13 Member
    Granted,
    but everything in the world is smaller,
    but none of your friends are ballers,
    but she loves all ballers as much as she loves you,
    but she changed her number,
    but the rabbit died and someone smashed your hat with your bat.
    but the six four impala got stolen.

    I wish things just came easily for us all!
  • kjm3579
    kjm3579 Posts: 3,974 Member
    Granted, things now come to you very easily, however they are Thing 1 and Thing 2 from the Dr. Seuss books.

    I wish I was a fast runner.
  • tibo1783
    tibo1783 Posts: 2,474 Member
    Granted, but your not actually faster ,everyone in the world is now super slow.. this annoys the crap out of you and drives you mad as you can never get anything done, it take you 5 seconds to get to starbucks and 30 minutes to get your Latte

    I wish i was Super smart!
  • kjm3579
    kjm3579 Posts: 3,974 Member
    Granted, you are now smarter than anyone else in the world, but everyone else is so stupid that you can't make yourself understood by them.

    I wish I could go on an all expenses paid cruise.
  • cblue315
    cblue315 Posts: 3,836 Member
    Granted you are now the toilet cleaning specialist on an all expense paid cruise ship. Bad weather and badly stored food make it the trip of a lifetime. You will now have to clean every toilet on the ship three times each day. Happy sailing.

    I wish I had the green lantern.
  • Edgec0mb
    Edgec0mb Posts: 52 Member
    Granted, as you're walking down the street you notice something green and sparkling on the sidewalk. You approach it, it jumps up and enters your skull, eats your brain and makes you glow green. You are now a living green lantern controlled by an unknown being. Enjoy.

    I wish I had a big boat.
  • kjm3579
    kjm3579 Posts: 3,974 Member
    Granted, you have a big boat, called the SS Minnow -- time to leave on your 3 hour tour.

    I wish I could take tomorrow off and stay home all weekend.
  • MaxPower0102
    MaxPower0102 Posts: 2,654 Member
    Granted: You're fired. Stay home Monday while you are at it....

    I wish pizza and wings were carb and calorie free
  • Edgec0mb
    Edgec0mb Posts: 52 Member
    Granted: All pizza and wings are now made of ice and are tasteless. Enjoy your meals!

    I wish chores did themselves so I never have to do them.
  • Cindy4FunFit
    Cindy4FunFit Posts: 2,732 Member
    Granted: chores do them selves because all inanimate objects now have life. We are all freaking out. Thanks, dude. The toaster is trying to kill me.

    Wish: I could defeat the toaster
  • Edgec0mb
    Edgec0mb Posts: 52 Member
    Granted: You defeat the toaster by jumping in it, in the space where bread goes. While you're defeating it, the toaster toasts you and you turn into a toasted toast for the rest of your life... which ends as soon as someone needs a toast for their meal. Congratulations!

    I wish my chair wasn't broken.
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