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I grant then ruin someone's wish...

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Replies

  • jaymvita
    jaymvita Posts: 5,787 Member
    Granted, your brains full function. Your bowels however ... Utter chaos.

    I'd elaborate, but I think you get the picture.

    I wish I didn't get the picture.
  • cblue315
    cblue315 Posts: 3,836 Member
    Granted, there are no longer any pictures for you, using your imagination will have to suffice. Keep it clean Jay.

    I wish I could see better without my glasses.
  • 47Jacqueline
    47Jacqueline Posts: 6,993 Member
    edited February 2015
    Granted, but you can no longer close your eyes.

    I wish I could sleep through the night.
  • slimgirljo15
    slimgirljo15 Posts: 269,456 Member
    edited February 2015
    Granted...you sleep through the night and day...you never wake up

    I wish had magic powers
  • cblue315
    cblue315 Posts: 3,836 Member
    Granted your magic powers are to make litterbugs clean up after themselves and take one inch off anyone's hip measurement when asked.

    I wish I had cake.
  • jaymvita
    jaymvita Posts: 5,787 Member
    cblue315 wrote: »
    Granted your magic powers are to make litterbugs clean up after themselves and take one inch off anyone's hip measurement when asked.

    I wish I had cake.

    Granted you have TONS of Yellowcake (Urania) and you've been using it to sweeten your coffee. The resulting radiation poisoning has given you extreme superpowers but at drastic half life costs. Every time you use one of your powers, your lifespan is cut in half. One night your powers manifested as an intense fireball that razed your neighborhood. You now have thirteen minutes left to live. Want some ice cream with your cake?

    I wish there was no place for intolerance in this world.
  • FabulousFantasticFifty
    FabulousFantasticFifty Posts: 195,832 Member
    Granted! Now we all have to tolerate the freaken rude Arseholes who treat others with disdain, hate and snobbery! Good Job Jay!!! :angry:

    I wish everyone in this world was kind and showed Love & Respect for all of God's Children!
  • slimgirljo15
    slimgirljo15 Posts: 269,456 Member
    Granted...but you wake to find it was all a dream.....

    I wish chocolate had no calories
  • cblue315
    cblue315 Posts: 3,836 Member
    Granted, chocolate has no calories, but now it is only available at the top of the tallest mountain on each continent. Happy climbing!

    I wish for a brick of $20's and a hot date.
  • slimgirljo15
    slimgirljo15 Posts: 269,456 Member
    Granted...that bag of dates has been in the oven an hour...they are hot ...shame the brick of 20s was in there too...its burnt..
    I wish for waerm weather..
  • Cindy4FunFit
    Cindy4FunFit Posts: 2,732 Member
    Granted: trying to figure out what waerm weather is, and couldn't, I grant you a warm & overheated WAE (wide area Ethernet) (WAN) which crashes MFP for weeks. People from the addicted thread hunt you down. They want blood. Take cover.

    Wish: the flying saucer had not landed in her yard
  • cblue315
    cblue315 Posts: 3,836 Member
    Granted, it landed in your yard. They are coming to take you away ha ha he he to the funny farm.
    Yes, the addicted hunt you down. . .
    I wish spring came today!!!!!
  • jaymvita
    jaymvita Posts: 5,787 Member
    Granted, Spring came! Unfortunately, because Spring came in public, the Seasonal Police arrested Spring for lewd acts in public, indecency, and vandalism of a national landmark. Spring was taken away and sentenced to 6 weeks community service in Siberia where they experience a sudden and welcome heat wave. We however get 6 more weeks of Winter. Groundhog wins. You lose. Again.

    I wish I could finish a complete thou...
  • Cindy4FunFit
    Cindy4FunFit Posts: 2,732 Member
    Granted: you complete your one thought, which is apparently to bow down before the multitudes of MFP & do its bidding (according to your new pic). There are many people here to answer to, so get moving. Start with me: refill my water bottle.

    Wish: Jay would jump faster to fill our demands.
  • jaymvita
    jaymvita Posts: 5,787 Member
    Granted, I jump so fast to fulfill demands that I confuse and jumble up requests with disastrous consequences. Blue asked me to empty the chamber pots at the same time you asked me to refill your water bottle. Guess where I emptied out the pots by accident. Bottoms up!

    I wish she brought a toothbrush with her.
  • Mia4_4
    Mia4_4 Posts: 603 Member
    Granted..but then she had a gum infection

    I wish I had the superpower of incredible speed
  • cblue315
    cblue315 Posts: 3,836 Member
    Granted, Cindy brought your toothbrush. She will use it to clean the water bottle. Then surreptitiously replace it in your bathroom. Be careful what you wish for Jay.

    I wish to have a peaceful evening, free of these surreptitious thoughts.
  • cblue315
    cblue315 Posts: 3,836 Member
    Pre-empted, I will have to learn to type faster.
    @asmitachaugule‌ - Granted, you have incredible speed. But every one else lives at normal speed, so communications are impossible. We see you as a slight blur in the corner of our eyes.

    I wish to have a peaceful evening, free of these surreptitious thoughts.
  • Cindy4FunFit
    Cindy4FunFit Posts: 2,732 Member
    Granted: you have a peaceful evening free from these secret thoughts. Trouble is, for that one night of peace you had to trade a lifetime of chaos. Cray, cray time. And now, all of your most secret thoughts will be broadcast to the world via an Internet blog run by Jay, as one of his many tasks of servitude. And you know how verbose Jay is.....!

    Wish: there was light at the end of the tunnel...
  • handyrunner
    handyrunner Posts: 32,662 Member
    Granted but as the Metallica song goes...."its just a freight train coming your way"

    I wish i had some aspirin
  • Spnneil06
    Spnneil06 Posts: 18,745 Member
    You do, but you can't get the bottle open!

    I wish I could sleep the day away!
  • Shananigans457
    Shananigans457 Posts: 486 Member
    edited March 2015
    Granted- but you also sleep through spring, summer, and fall just to wake up and find that it's winter again.

    I wish that I could take a decent selfie.
  • Cindy4FunFit
    Cindy4FunFit Posts: 2,732 Member
    Granted: you did. Now your IM box is full of love letters. Not everyone romances the same way, though & most of it is really tasteless poetry, (it rhymes but it's vulgar) and photos you wish you could not see. Scrub your eyes out now.

    Wish: people could write nice things, instead
  • cblue315
    cblue315 Posts: 3,836 Member
    Granted, Nice things, nice things, nice things, nice things, nice things. Had enough? OK, nice things, instead.

    I wish I did not have so much work on my desk today.
  • Cindy4FunFit
    Cindy4FunFit Posts: 2,732 Member
    Granted: not today, instead, every day thereafter. Grind!!! Mountains of paperwork. You can longer see your desktop.

    Wish: the planets would align
  • MaxPower0102
    MaxPower0102 Posts: 2,654 Member
    Granted: So we are the shadow of Mercury and Venus, casting the world into utter darkness, plants dies, chaos reigns, and Taylor Swift songs actually make sense!!!!!

    Wish: I wish I had Ringside for the Pacquiao/Mayweather fight
  • kjm3579
    kjm3579 Posts: 3,974 Member
    Granted, you will be ringside. You have just had sex reassignment surgery and are one of the girls announcing the rounds of the fight.

    I wish winter would be over already.
  • slimgirljo15
    slimgirljo15 Posts: 269,456 Member
    Granted...the sun comes out tomorrow and winter is never seen again...tropical heat day after day...drives you crazy...years from now you are wishing for winter

    I wish there was no famine
  • kjm3579
    kjm3579 Posts: 3,974 Member
    Granted, there is no famine but the solution requires you to exist on only a raw food vegan diet -- say goodbye to those steaks!

    I wish the snow and ice would go away and come back another day.
  • Cindy4FunFit
    Cindy4FunFit Posts: 2,732 Member
    Granted: all the snow cones & ice cream are removed from the planet. Children everywhere are crying so loudly. Make it stop.

    Wish: we did not all scream for ice cream
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