Not so healthy foods
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I'll take success any way I can and if that includes controlling my environment, so be it. Self-control is overrated, and it is easily exhausted. Why make it any harder than it has to be?
Surely a couple can establish some house rules around food. We do it around smoking!0 -
GiveMeCoffee wrote: »So he shouldn't have anything because his wife goes on a diet?
Was that his only option of foods to bring home? He could just enjoy one or two where he purchased them.
In my own weight loss journey; I definitely have been faced with making the proper decisions; and I've budgeted in my Fannie May and sparkling wine - while still losing weight.
But, if my husband came home with a box of delicious bagels; I would be floored by his lack of sensitivity. (I love bagels!) Of all people; I do expect my significant other to support my endeavors. My weight loss is not a forever thing.
In regard to other household members restricting items that they enjoy because another is on a diet - that's a tough one. I think the answer is how one goes about it. There are so many foods to enjoy. And, it should be easy to determine, especially in a significant other; what foods might lead to derailing their objective.
And, there's the timing or location of where non-dieting members keep their goodies. My husband wanted salty snacks. Salt is the devil for me. I bought him a nice array of salty snacks, and put them in a container so that he can keep them in his service truck. I think I am more sensitive to the deprivation of junk food when on a diet; where it may make it more tempting for the really good (bad!) stuff. When I am in 'maintenance'; an occasional calorie splurge will be ok - but I still need to maintain overall control and focus on calorie goals.
From my perspective with 2 people in the house, sharing food, and the support we provide each other; I do expect that each of us consider the other persons needs first and make it work for us both.
Why? He lives there, he can't enjoy his food in his own home just because you're on a diet? Don't you think that's selfish of you?
You need to start practicing self control instead of wanting everyone else to conform around what you're doing. It's your journey so you control what you do not what everyone else does.
But that's the thing - it doesn't seem that he brought it home as 'his own food'. I think you're entirely missing the point.0 -
I see weirdness on both sides of the fence here.
One side can't bear to see food wasted, and is declaring all food as being equal.
The other side is dividing the pantry in to "good" and "bad" food.
Doughnuts? Really? If the dieter can't stop at half, the doughnuts have to go.
There are some foods I just won't have around because they are too tempting. I give it away or throw it out. I love to cook and bake and sometimes I just make too much. I package some and give the rest away.
The world won't stand up and give you an ovation if you save every bit of food that comes through the door, trying to squeeze it in to your plan. This coming from me, who has the carcass of a roast chicken in my freezer right now, for soup later. I save what I can but there are limits.
<insert animated clappping hands gif here -- I don't know how to make animated gifs go.>
Throw or give food away if you don't want it. We live in a first world country and we only have one life.
Here's how I handle doughnuts: I eat a bag of vegetables while reading an MFP thread about doughnuts.
If you are anything like me, OP, this is what you are going through: You want a doughnut but feel bad about eating a doughnut because you think they are off limits. So you feel mad and deprived and still desirous of a doughnut. You think about those damn doughnuts until that's all you are thinking about and when you finally cave, you eat two or maybe three because f**k it, the diet is shot anyway.
The amazing thing about counting calories, OP, is that you don't have to think this way about doughnuts or any other food anymore.
I just checked the Dunkin Donuts website and while they have a couple of donuts that clock in at 500+ calories, most of the donuts are in the 350 range.
If I am eating at a 1400 calorie intake, and ate a 350 donut, I'd have a daily intake of 1750. That's still 150 calories below my maintenance intake. I'm eating a donut and still losing weight!
If I ate two donuts, I'd be eating at 200 calories above maintenance -- calories I could easily make up in the next week.
If I ate THREE donuts, I'd be eating at 550 calories above maintenance and I could STILL make those calories up pretty easily over the next two weeks.
Just count the calories and keep an honest eye on your daily intake. It's ok to go over as long as you are going under on other days.
It's a weekly - monthly - yearly process, OP! Enjoy it!
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I'm new-ish here, so flame away if you feel so inclined, but I really have a hard time comprehending the argument that it's okay to eat a donut over another food item that has the same number of calories (some appetite-curbing tuna salad, say) simply because they have the same amount of calories.
If you're simply trying to lose pounds without paying mind to any other issues, sure, this argument holds up. However, if you're trying to stave off or get rid of diabetes, improve cholesterol, improve heart health, avoid a sugar crash, or just generally improve your body's overall function, please explain to me how having a 250-calorie donut versus having a 250-calorie portion of tuna salad will accomplish the same *health* goals.
I'm not saying you can't have a donut, but don't kid yourself that all foods are good for you as long as they fit in your calorie range.
ETA: missing words0 -
I asked my husband what he thought about it and his answer was that it's pretty obnoxious from the husband, lol. We can assume what we want, but from the OP's post, it seems pretty clear to me that the husband didn't come with 6 donuts and said 'oh they are for me'. I'm guessing if he had, the OP wouldn't be asking when *she* should eat them.
I see the Talenti reference, and yeah, I used to stock up on that too - but it keeps forever. Donuts don't. For the bagels though, I did that three weeks ago, they were 12 for $5 so I got 12, and we froze 8 right away. It worked out just fine. I don't know how well donuts freeze though, or I'd just do that (I still have frozen pumpkin krugel in my freezer).
Well guess my husband is obnoxious, he brings stuff home all the time. Today he brought home DD coffee and donuts, I would have been annoyed if he brought home some for himself and not for me. I didn't have to eat one, but I made a choice to0 -
LuckyNumbers wrote: »I'm new-ish here, so flame away if you feel so inclined, but I really have a hard comprehending the argument that it's okay to eat a donut over another food item that has the same number of calories (some appetite-curbing tuna salad, say) simply because they have the same amount of calories.
If you're simply trying to lose pounds without paying mind to any other issues, sure, this argument holds up. However, if you're trying to stave off or get rid of diabetes, improve cholesterol, improve heart health, avoid a sugar crash, or just generally improve your body's overall function, please explain to me how having a 250-calorie donut versus having a 250-calorie portion of tuna salad will accomplish the same *health* goals.
I'm not saying you can't have a donut, but don't kid yourself that all foods are good for you as long as they fit in your calorie range.
Because I can eat a donut and have it fit into a well balanced diet while improving my overall health. There is also the aspect of mental health, if I didn't fit the treats into my day I would have quit long ago.0 -
He lives there, he can't enjoy his food in his own home just because you're on a diet? Don't you think that's selfish of you?
You're cherry picking my quotes. I appreciate your perspective; I note that it's a tough call on how what food choices to have on hand.
I've never requested that any foods 'not' be in the house. My husband and I are very in tune with each others needs. I was tired of my body image. I've lost 14 lbs since Dec 2014, at the end of this month I switch from the scale to what the mirror says, as to when I'm done. Probably 2 or 3 lbs. I've beefed up my workouts, so it's almost not a weight thing as it is.
He's a wonderful guy; who makes being in (and out) of summer clothes fun - and he will be the ultimate winner of my weight loss goals and improved body image. Feeling sexy is awesome!
That's what I wish for everyone (feeling great about yourself!) , and why I think it important that one's significant other be supportive.0 -
LuckyNumbers wrote: »I'm new-ish here, so flame away if you feel so inclined, but I really have a hard time comprehending the argument that it's okay to eat a donut over another food item that has the same number of calories (some appetite-curbing tuna salad, say) simply because they have the same amount of calories.
If you're simply trying to lose pounds without paying mind to any other issues, sure, this argument holds up. However, if you're trying to stave off or get rid of diabetes, improve cholesterol, improve heart health, avoid a sugar crash, or just generally improve your body's overall function, please explain to me how having a 250-calorie donut versus having a 250-calorie portion of tuna salad will accomplish the same *health* goals.
I'm not saying you can't have a donut, but don't kid yourself that all foods are good for you as long as they fit in your calorie range.
ETA: missing words
For me it's not about what's good for me and what isn't, it's about finding a diet I can actually follow without giving up because it's too restrictive. I've lost 80 pounds, so I guess it works. When I limited myself to 'healthy' food, I couldn't stick to it and gained all the weight back.
But hey, if you can actually maintain your weight loss without ever eating a donut, good for you I guess.GiveMeCoffee wrote: »I asked my husband what he thought about it and his answer was that it's pretty obnoxious from the husband, lol. We can assume what we want, but from the OP's post, it seems pretty clear to me that the husband didn't come with 6 donuts and said 'oh they are for me'. I'm guessing if he had, the OP wouldn't be asking when *she* should eat them.
I see the Talenti reference, and yeah, I used to stock up on that too - but it keeps forever. Donuts don't. For the bagels though, I did that three weeks ago, they were 12 for $5 so I got 12, and we froze 8 right away. It worked out just fine. I don't know how well donuts freeze though, or I'd just do that (I still have frozen pumpkin krugel in my freezer).
Well guess my husband is obnoxious, he brings stuff home all the time. Today he brought home DD coffee and donuts, I would have been annoyed if he brought home some for himself and not for me. I didn't have to eat one, but I made a choice to
My husband would have asked first if I wanted something. Typically if he has donuts it's when he's at work or something. If I have some, I'll eat them when he's at work too. Whatever works for you I guess!0 -
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LuckyNumbers wrote: »I'm new-ish here, so flame away if you feel so inclined, but I really have a hard time comprehending the argument that it's okay to eat a donut over another food item that has the same number of calories (some appetite-curbing tuna salad, say) simply because they have the same amount of calories.
If you're simply trying to lose pounds without paying mind to any other issues, sure, this argument holds up. However, if you're trying to stave off or get rid of diabetes, improve cholesterol, improve heart health, avoid a sugar crash, or just generally improve your body's overall function, please explain to me how having a 250-calorie donut versus having a 250-calorie portion of tuna salad will accomplish the same *health* goals.
I'm not saying you can't have a donut, but don't kid yourself that all foods are good for you as long as they fit in your calorie range.
ETA: missing words
For me it's not about what's good for me and what isn't, it's about finding a diet I can actually follow without giving up because it's too restrictive. I've lost 80 pounds, so I guess it works. When I limited myself to 'healthy' food, I couldn't stick to it and gained all the weight back.
But hey, if you can actually maintain your weight loss without ever eating a donut, good for you I guess.GiveMeCoffee wrote: »I asked my husband what he thought about it and his answer was that it's pretty obnoxious from the husband, lol. We can assume what we want, but from the OP's post, it seems pretty clear to me that the husband didn't come with 6 donuts and said 'oh they are for me'. I'm guessing if he had, the OP wouldn't be asking when *she* should eat them.
I see the Talenti reference, and yeah, I used to stock up on that too - but it keeps forever. Donuts don't. For the bagels though, I did that three weeks ago, they were 12 for $5 so I got 12, and we froze 8 right away. It worked out just fine. I don't know how well donuts freeze though, or I'd just do that (I still have frozen pumpkin krugel in my freezer).
Well guess my husband is obnoxious, he brings stuff home all the time. Today he brought home DD coffee and donuts, I would have been annoyed if he brought home some for himself and not for me. I didn't have to eat one, but I made a choice to
My husband would have asked first if I wanted something. Typically if he has donuts it's when he's at work or something. If I have some, I'll eat them when he's at work too. Whatever works for you I guess!
And I thought it was a nice gesture that my obnoxious husband brought them home as a surprise.0 -
LuckyNumbers wrote: »I'm new-ish here, so flame away if you feel so inclined, but I really have a hard time comprehending the argument that it's okay to eat a donut over another food item that has the same number of calories (some appetite-curbing tuna salad, say) simply because they have the same amount of calories.
If you're simply trying to lose pounds without paying mind to any other issues, sure, this argument holds up. However, if you're trying to stave off or get rid of diabetes, improve cholesterol, improve heart health, avoid a sugar crash, or just generally improve your body's overall function, please explain to me how having a 250-calorie donut versus having a 250-calorie portion of tuna salad will accomplish the same *health* goals.
I'm not saying you can't have a donut, but don't kid yourself that all foods are good for you as long as they fit in your calorie range.
ETA: missing words
I personally don't have to feel full everytime I eat. My overall diet is balanced. I meet my nutritional needs and can easily fit low nutrition high calorie foods into my overall healthy diet. I have lost 120+ pounds and kept it off over a year. I also am no longer pre diabetic, I no longer have high blood pressure is and my stomach issues have disappeared. There is nothing wrong with donuts being a part of a healthy diet.
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Never really thought about it before but I never eat until I'm full.LuckyNumbers wrote: »I'm new-ish here, so flame away if you feel so inclined, but I really have a hard time comprehending the argument that it's okay to eat a donut over another food item that has the same number of calories (some appetite-curbing tuna salad, say) simply because they have the same amount of calories.
If you're simply trying to lose pounds without paying mind to any other issues, sure, this argument holds up. However, if you're trying to stave off or get rid of diabetes, improve cholesterol, improve heart health, avoid a sugar crash, or just generally improve your body's overall function, please explain to me how having a 250-calorie donut versus having a 250-calorie portion of tuna salad will accomplish the same *health* goals.
I'm not saying you can't have a donut, but don't kid yourself that all foods are good for you as long as they fit in your calorie range.
ETA: missing words
I personally don't have to feel full everytime I eat. My overall diet is balanced. I meet my nutritional needs and can easily fit low nutrition high calorie foods into my overall healthy diet. I have lost 120+ pounds and kept it off over a year. I also am no longer pre diabetic, I no longer have high blood pressure is and my stomach issues have disappeared. There is nothing wrong with donuts being a part of a healthy diet.
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I would eat the donuts and enjoy. A day here an there with less than ideal eating is fine and isn't a big deal in the scheme of things.
To make sure the "here an there" doesn't get out of hand anytime I eat off plan (which has nothing to do with calories) I mark the day with an "X" on the calendar with a highlighter (a pretty blue highlighter, btw). Which makes it extremely easy to tell at a glance if I'm starting down a slippery slope and falling back into bad habits. It's great for my husband too and he can see at a glance whether or not I'll be appreciative of his thoughtfulness -- since he's the one bringing this stuff home.
It's hard at first but stick with it and you'll find something you can live with and still reach your goals. Best wishes.0 -
Eating them all at once is the same as stretching them out. You could decide what is best for you:
Eat them up:
pro: one day and you are done
con: you end up with a lot of extra calories, and if you plan to make up for them you may not have the stamina to reduce your calories for a whole week
Stretch them out:
pro: others may help you eat them and you end up gobbling up less calories, you enjoy them longer
con: you may have to plan carefully to fit them in for quite a while, plus they won't be as fresh
Alternatively, you could have a few days at maintenance. If you feel delaying your weight loss for a few days is worth it, it may be a good bargain.
See what appeals more to you.0 -
I'm actually not missing the point. Unfortunately you are making assumptions as to why he brought donuts home. Because obviously they couldn't be because he wanted donuts for later.
Ok so then why is the OP asking us when *she* should eat them, if the donuts are for him for later anyway? I mean she's talking about going over her calories for a couple days, so I'm guessing he brought home more than 4 donuts.
I see your point, and I agree with it to an extent, I mean I'm not asking my husband to deprive himself because of me either (heck last night he was eating fresh bread and delicious cheese next to me while we were watching TV and it kinda sucked, but I lived), but if he brought home a huge amount (ie, that he can't possibly eat by himself before they go bad) of something I love when he had the option to bring less, well yeah, I'd be annoyed, because he knows that my willpower totally lacks at times, and I'd expect him to support me in that matter.
But I guess I'm just making assumptions from OP's post, who knows what really happened...0 -
If the dieter can't stop at half, the doughnuts have to go
If the dieter can't stop, it's not the doughnuts that need to go, it's whatever reason he/she can't stop themselves that needs to go. Eating healthy is a behavior. If bad eating habits are present, that behavior needs to be re-trained. Adopting a healthy attitude toward food and confidence in one's self is how that is done. Developing strange phobias toward certain food types, placing said food on some weird plane of total power, then submitting to it, is silly and going in the opposite direction of learning to eat properly
Then there's this:Self-control is overrated
That's one of the most ignorant things I've ever read. This was written in the same text that espoused strict control over one's environment. So is control good or bad? I ask that rhetorically because any sane person already knows the answer. The difference between forbidding others to smoke in one's household and forbidding one to bring in doughnuts is that there is no such thing as second-hand fat. Does that really need to be explained?
When I first came to these forums, I read a thread that had to do with sugar, and it seemed to me like some of the responses were very defensive and maybe even a little mean-spirited. But now I get why the people who routinely find themselves defending the notion of accountability and self-restraint over food-blame get on a muscle over it. It's because of crap like what I just quoted. Why would any adult tell a person seeking advice that everyone around them should be responsible for their own decisions? I really hope the person who posted this nonsense doesn't have children0 -
hmcbride68 wrote: »If the dieter can't stop at half, the doughnuts have to go
If the dieter can't stop, it's not the doughnuts that need to go, it's whatever reason he/she can't stop themselves that needs to go. Eating healthy is a behavior. If bad eating habits are present, that behavior needs to be re-trained. Adopting a healthy attitude toward food and confidence in one's self is how that is done. Developing strange phobias toward certain food types, placing said food on some weird plane of total power, then submitting to it, is silly and going in the opposite direction of learning to eat properly
Ok sure, but it's not always as easy as telling yourself 'I'll stop at one' unfortunately. Or we wouldn't have been fat in the first place! But if you have a magic solution to re-train yourself, by all means, share.0
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